What you see is what we show you

Friday Questions coming attacha.

Ben asks:

At a taping of The New Adventures of Old Christine a few years ago, I noticed it was shot digitally, which meant the crowd had monitors showing the footage as it was shot.

In the days of Cheers (and 35mm), was there some sort of vid-tap that fed the crowd what was being shot to monitors, or was it viewed much more like a stage play, and you saw everything at once, and only got the additional camera jokes when you saw it on TV?

In the early years of CHEERS there was no “video assist” as we call it. There were monitors overhead, but those were just used to either show the pilot or scenes that had been pre-shot.

Then cameras were equipped with additional video taps that allowed for instant viewing. And now that multi-cam shows are shot in HD, not film, the quality of the picture is greatly improved.

One thing worth noted: Back in “the day” (although it’s never specified just what that day was), multi-camera shows were either filmed or videotaped. If they were filmed, all four cameras ran continuously, it would take a few days for the film to get back from the drugstore, and the show would be edited later. For tape shows (like ALL IN THE FAMILY and THE JEFFERSONS), the director would be in a control room assembling the show on the fly. He’d instruct the switcher to “take camera three”, “take camera one”, etc. So at the end of the taping you had a rough cut of your show already.

Now you have HD, which is like the best of both worlds. Looks like film but shot on (far more inexpensive) tape. But they’re still assembled after the fact (a la film). That means, for the studio audience, a switcher is employed, and just for their benefit he edits the show as it unfolds. But the angles you see, and the takes you see, might not necessarily be what is used in the final version that airs.

Still, you think back to those old days before there was video assist and the audience missed half the show. You had the cameras and all the people on the floor, and if there was a swing set constructed just for that episode it was usually tucked off to the side so a large portion of the audience couldn’t see it at all. You attended filmings for the experience then you caught the show on the air to find out exactly what you were watching.

From Mark:

Ken, what do you think of series crossovers, like CHEERS/WINGS? This effectively makes CHEERS, WINGS, THE TORTELLI'S and FRASIER exist in the same universe as one another.

Do you think, despite it being an obvious ratings ploy, that it's nice to have this shared universe among the characters?

On a similar note, what do you think of the CHEERS/FRASIER episodes?

I always like crossover episodes. It’s fun to see characters from different shows interact. I especially liked the CHEERS/FRASIER crossovers because David and I wrote most of them. (Four with Lilith, one with Sam, one with Diane.) We also wrote the WINGS episode with Frasier and Lilith. Here’s a piece of totally useless trivia: David and I are the only writers to write Frasier Crane in three different series. I think that’s our legacy.

Crossovers can get sticky however, if both shows aren’t from the same creative team. On ALMOST PERFECT we did a crossover with CYBILL. There must’ve been four drafts that ping-ponged back and forth between our writing staff and theirs.

And then there was the CHEERS crossover with ST. ELSEWHERE. That was less successful. Not only did you have two creative teams, you had two genres. The ST. ELSEWHERE folks wrote the scene and let’s just say they did not do a splendid job of capturing our characters or the style of our humor. I’m sure the CHEERS staff would have written a clunky ST. ELSEWHERE scene if the shoe were on the other foot. Although, maybe we could have made Howie Mandel funny.

But here’s where it got really weird: In the finale of ST. ELSEWHERE we learn the whole show was just a dream some kid had. So does that mean CHEERS, even in television reality, was just part of the dream and never really existed? Where’s Rod Serling when you need him?

Jayne L has queries:

I have never seen an end-credits scene on Frasier that didn't have the theme music playing over top, muting the dialogue. Seems a bit of a waste of effort to write dialogue that no one will ever hear, so: was there scripted dialogue for those scenes, or did the scripting stop at the gist of the scene, and the actors left to ad-lib based on the premise?

No dialogue is written. Just a brief description of what the writer envisioned. And even then, there were times there was no written pages. The writers would just tell an idea to the cast and they would all work it out on the spot.

rockfish wonders:

Do you have a favorite home run call? And do you think it's important for one to have just one -- I'm amazed at some of the ordinary or even dumb ones. Over all the years and the number of announcers, it must be impossible to create an original sounding one... What's yours?

I don’t have one. All I care about when calling a home run is that I do it accurately and capture the appropriate drama of the moment. A dramatic walk-off home run is a lot different than one hit during a blowout. I try to be as descriptive as I can.

Announcers today can easily get caught-up in highlights. Your dramatic game calls are now replayed on post game shows, ESPN, and other sports networks. And just like players try to make dazzling plays so they can appear on “Web Gems”, announcers try to make spectacular home run calls so they can hear themselves on Sportscenter. I’m less interested in that unless I can somehow work a plug in for my book during my home run call.

And finally, from Kevin S.:

Will we be seeing you make a guest appearance on the Sunday broadcast of Comedy Central's Roast of Roseanne?

I'd love to but I'm folding my socks that day.

What’s your home run call? I mean question?

Review: SUITS

The USA Network has enjoyed great success mounting hour-long series that are all glossy, colorful, and generally lightweight. That’s not a criticism. They’re a well-executed collection of escapist fare. Imagine HAWAII 5-0 if everyone involved wasn’t brain dead. Pretty people. Pretty locales. Chase scenes. Explosions. P-G romance. P-G violence. Dashes of humor. It’s the TV equivalent of summer beach reading. I doubt you’ll ever see NECESSARY ROUGHNESS edge out MAD MEN for the Best Drama Emmy, but there’s a place for shows you can watch while texting.

And yet, out of this pack has emerged one truly excellent show – SUITS. I shouldn’t say “emerged”; it’s more like “evolved.”

SUITS started out last summer like most USA Network shows – with a high-concept premise and quick beauty shots of New York. Gabriel Macht is Harvey Spector (no relation to Phil), a super-slick shark attorney with charisma and bravado to burn. Adam Levine without the tatts. He works in a sleek Manhattan law firm – the kind that handles the Bank of America and Charlie Sheen. He hires Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams) as his junior lawyer/protégée. Mike is brilliant, has a photographic mind, but he is harboring a little secret that only Harvey knows. He’s not a real lawyer. He’s a law school dropout. But just saying you went to Harvard Law School apparently gets you a job in a prestigious New York law firm or a staff writing job on THE SIMPSONS.  Yes, it’s a preposterous premise, but as the series unfolds that gets pushed to the background.

What surfaces instead are knotty legal problems, fun quirky characters, strong internal dynamics, and first-class writing. THE GOOD WIFE meets DOOGIE HOWSER.

I’m guessing at the start the focus was supposed to be on young Mike Ross. How was he going to avoid getting caught? How was he going to save the day by remembering a box score from 1985? But Harvey has become the true main attraction. Some actors just command the screen and Gabriel Macht is one of them. Best of all, you can just sense he’s having an absolute ball playing this character. And why not? He’s a cocky asshole who is smarter than everyone else and always right. If you can’t be Michael Phelps or Batman, this is the dude you want to be.

The side characters are also noteworthy. Especially Rick Hoffman as sleazy lawyer, Louis Litt. Picture Frank Burns but smart. The man can grovel and strut at the same time. Not easy to do.

And there’s Harvey’s saucy secretary, Donna (Sarah Rafferty). At the moment she’s fired but I’m sure that will change. Like Joan in MAD MEN, she’s smarter than most of the doofas men in her firm, but unlike Joan she doesn’t have to downplay it. Joan slept with a client to get ahead in the agency. Donna would just order one of the interns to do it for her.

Season one had more self-contained stories. Season two has a continuing arc of Harvey facing disbarment and the firm being taken over by a guy so insidious that even the ghost of Johnny Cochran has said telepathically, “If a lawyer’s that snide, I cannot abide!”  These guys are always in a pickle.

What I admire most about the show is the storytelling. Series creator, Aaron Korsh and staff have an uncanny knack for trapping their characters with seemingly no way out. And yet, ingeniously and organically they do manage to pull a Houdini act week after week.  To my knowledge it's the only USA series that doesn't end every week with a warehouse explosion. 

SUITS airs tonight at 10. Well worth one billable hour a week.

Why Vin Scully is so great

Just a typical Vin Scully broadcast. This was from a Dodger-Rockies game earlier this week. Even if you're not a baseball fan, watch this. Tell me you're not entranced by how masterful he is describing this situation.

Message for Dan Harmon

Aaron Sorkin, in a recent magazine article talked about leaving WEST WING. (I don’t remember which magazine. There was about a three-week period where he did pieces for every magazine in the world including maybe HOT ASIAN BABES.) Anyway, after he was uh… replaced on WEST WING he received a call from Larry David. Having left SEINFELD, David had some advice. He told Sorkin not to watch the new version of WEST WING. If it was bad that would be upsetting, and if it was good that would be upsetting.

Still, curiosity got the best of him, and Sorkin did check out WEST WING. It only took him a few minutes to realize Larry David was right. He turned it off and claims he never watched another minute of the series.

I could have given him the same advice. After my partner David Isaacs and I left MASH I found it extremely difficult to watch the last three years. Not so much because it was better or worse; just that it was different.

I became hypercritical. That edit is abrupt. Would like to see a reaction of Alan there. Was that Loretta’s best performance on that line? Start the music sooner. We need more jokes in this scene. You get the idea.

The series definitely took a turn after we left. It became much more earnest and mining comedy was harder and harder. Was it a good direction? The ratings were higher than ever. And the writing staff they assembled was the best in TV.  Creatively?  You tell me.

But it was different. So it was tough for me to watch.

So here's my message to Dan Harmon: Don’t watch COMMUNITY next season. Trust me, buddy. You do not want to go down that road.

What felt very weird for me on MASH was that for several years the shoe was on the other foot. I was the guy who replaced the creator. And not just any creator – the Mozart of television comedy (Larry Gelbart).

I can’t tell you how many times I’d screen a final edit of one of our shows and wonder, “What would Larry think?” I mean, on our best day we weren’t as good as Larry on his worst. I had never met him at that point. Meanwhile, there was radio silence. He didn’t seem to be in communication with anybody – not Alan Alda, not Gene Reynolds, not Burt Metcalfe.

I thought there was one of two explanations: He either didn’t watch the show at all or he did and hated it.

A year after we left MASH David and I did finally meet Larry. He was effusive in his praise. We were beyond stunned. I asked why he never said anything during the time we were there. He said (and this is so Larry) that he didn’t want to influence us. I’m sure there were creative choices along the way we made that he wouldn’t have. But he didn’t want to be a backseat driver. Now, I assume if he thought we were totally destroying his baby and our ineptitude would cut short the series and deny him millions from the additional seasons we might’ve gotten a little note. But he genuinely seemed to approve of what we were doing. Enough that when he sold AfterMASH he asked us to collaborate on it with him.

One of the true blessings in my life is that Larry Gelbart became a friend and mentor. Thank you for not taking Larry David’s advice. That said, Dan Harmon – still, go play poker on Friday nights, bar hop, join a bowling league, anything – just don’t watch COMMUNITY.

Announcing my Seattle book signing!

I will be having a book signing for my new book THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s) on Monday, August 20th from 5:00-7:00 PM at the Mariners Team Store at Safeco Field on First Avenue.   The M's will be playing the Cleveland Indians that night, but you don't need a ticket to get into the store.  

This is sooo much better than a bookstore.  At a bookstore you can't also get team logo tanks. 

So come on out.  Would love to meet you, sign a book, answer questions, and perhaps interest you in a handsome jersey. 

My thanks to the Seattle Mariners for sponsoring this event.  See you on the 20th... which coincidentally just happens to be "Support Your Local Announcer Day." 

You try talking for eight hours

I may not be the voice of my generation, but I am the voice of ME generation. No, I'm not turning into Popeye.  I just completed recording the audiobook for THE ME GENERATION… BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE ‘60s). You can order it here. And also listen to a sample chapter. (It's also available at Amazon and the iTunes store.)

This was a new experience for me – recording eight hours worth of text. But I had it easy compared to my engineer, Don May (pictured below), who had to listen to me record it, then go through and edit out all the bobbles. (Some days I was truly Porky Pig.)

There’s a lot to think about when recording an entire unabridged book. Your pace, your energy. You have to sound consistent throughout. It’s easy at the beginning of a session to be all revved up and two hours later you’re Ben Stein.

Not losing your voice is also preferred.

Pronunciation becomes important (who knew?). Confession: there are a couple of long words in the book that look funny on the page but are a bitch.  I couldn't say Anna Karenina.  I just kept screwing it up.  So I just swapped out War & Peace.  Fuck it.  Of course I couldn’t do that with names. I couldn’t take Satan Xerxes Carnacki LeVey and call him Skippy Smith. I have no idea if I came even close to pronouncing his name correctly.

In preparation I went to Audible.com and sampled some other samples. I was amazed by how many just droned. They were like an Army briefing on how to use an entrenching tool. Other books sounded like they were recorded in the bottom of a trash can. Mostly these were by authors who, like myself, recorded their own books. Especially for a memoir that’s very personal, I believe it’s a big advantage to hear it in the author’s own voice. As long as it’s professionally produced. I swear, some of these guys recorded their books on microphones normally reserved for: “Number twelve, your pizza’s ready!”

And I’m always aware that sometimes it’s better when someone else does your work. Carole King is a great songwriter and God bless her, but her tunes always sound better to me when real singers sing them. I once heard a recording of RHAPSODY IN BLUE with the great George Gershwin playing piano and it sounded rushed. Obviously he played it the way he intended it, and I just imagine if it were today he’d get a network note to slow it down. And if Gilbert Godfried ever writes his autobiography, please let someone else do the narration. Anyone. Even Kathy Griffin.

But I’m proud of my final result. And I think hearing my book in my voice adds a whole new dimension. Plus, you know how some books were just meant to be read at night in front of a roaring fire? Mine was meant to be heard in rush hour traffic.

Again, here's where you go.  Thanks much.

And I'm making final preparations for a book signing in Seattle.  Hope to have it nailed down later today.  So please check back for the announcement. 

How Ryan Seacrest got his big NBC deal

Ryan Seacrest recently signed a huge deal with NBC. As a result, he's reporting from the Olympics -- proving himself as useful as cufflinks on pants.   Let’s go back and eavesdrop on the NBC negotiations.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY


An NBC VP of Business Affairs is sitting with Ryan Seacrest’s agent.

NBC: I’ve gotten a directive from upstairs to make a deal for Ryan Seacrest but I must admit, I don’t watch AMERICAN IDOL.  I’m familiar with the name but not so much his work. So with all due respect, what does he do?

AGENT: He hosts.

(LONG BEAT)

NBC: That’s it? You’re asking for hundreds of millions.

AGENT: He also interviews… sometimes. We can negotiate that separately.

NBC: We have hosts.


AGENT: Yes, but you don’t have Ryan.


NBC: What does he do that’s so special?


AGENT: Ask Fox, and Clear Channel, and E! TELEVISION. They’re paying him a combined $300 million.

NBC: For what?


AGENT: For being Ryan.

NBC: What does that mean?


AGENT: People love him.

NBC: Why?


AGENT: He has that… thing.


NBC: What thing?

AGENT: I don’t have to sit here and be insulted by you!  He's a personality!  A celebrity!  A pop icon!


NBC: Okay. Fine. We’ll move on. I’ll just assume he’s very talented… at something.

AGENT: Whatever that something is, he's the best at it!

NBC: The trouble is – we don’t need another host. We have lots of hosts.

AGENT: Oh, Ryan doesn’t want to host.

NBC: He doesn’t?

AGENT: No. He already does that.

NBC: So I’m confused. What are we buying?

AGENT: A versatile entertainer who can do it all.

NBC: Is he funny?


AGENT: No.

NBC: Can he act?

AGENT: No.

NBC: Can he sing?


AGENT: No.


NBC: Dance?


AGENT: No.

NBC: Then tell me again what “he can do it all” means?

AGENT: He can be a special correspondent for news and sports.

NBC: Has he ever done news or sports?

AGENT: Again with the insults?

NBC: Okay. Sorry. Where has he done news and sports?

AGENT: Nowhere.


NBC: So why does he want to do news and sports?

AGENT: Because he doesn’t do them already. But I'm sure he'll give the same flair to them as he does to the... other things he does -- all of them well. 

NBC: Does he even like news and sports?


AGENT: Well, he likes showbiz news. And he goes to Superbowl parties. So I’d have to say yeah.


NBC: What can he contribute?

AGENT: I can’t believe you’re asking me these questions. This is Ryan Seacrest. Ryan! Seacrest!

NBC: Okay. Fine. Can we put him on THE TODAY SHOW?

AGENT: You’d have to tape it.


NBC: Why?

AGENT: He has a morning radio show.


NBC: You mean he wouldn’t be exclusive to us?

AGENT: Well… semi-exclusive.

NBC: What does that mean?

AGENT: He’s not on CBS. And if you have the Dish Satellite and don’t get certain networks, you won’t see him on those either.

NBC: But he’s on everything else.

AGENT: A talent that big can’t be contained to one network.

NBC: Okay. Let me ask you. This talent – do all these other networks and radio conglomerates know what it is?

AGENT: They don’t have to know. That’s the beauty of it. I get them in a bidding war and the more they offer the more they assume the other guy knows.

NBC: So nobody knows what Ryan Seacrest does.

AGENT: All the more reason why everyone wants to be in business with him.

NBC: My head is spinning. Give me a few days. I’ll get back to you.

AGENT: Okay. Fine. Listen, now that I’ve got you. I think we should talk about re-negotiating my other client’s deal.

NBC: Who’s your other client?

AGENT: Carson Daly.

FADE OUT.

The Comedy Writing Team MATCH GAME

In an earlier post I talked about the benefits of writing with a partner. Summary: you always have a ride when your car is in the shop.

But you have to find the RIGHT partner. Some tips from someone who’s been in a successful partnership for 39 years:

Make sure you both have similar sensibilities. If you love Patton Oswalt and his all-time favorite comedian is Pauley Shore, keep lookin’. (If his all-time favorite comedian is Pauley Shore keep looking even if your favorite funnyman is Dan Rather.)

There have been a number of sibling teams that have worked out. The Charles Brothers, the Coen Brothers. Make sure you and your sib really get along and your last name begins with C.

He/she partnerships? If you complement each other then go for it. Some of Hollywood’s most successful teams are this configuration. Certainly one of my favorites – Anne Flett Giordano & Chuck Ranberg.

Do you and your potential partner have similar work habits? If you like to work in a quiet office during the day and she is only comfortable writing at the Viper Club after hours, continue your search.

Have similar aspirations. If your goal is to be a writer and his is just to use this as a means to move into directing or to get chicks, pass. If he wants to write Oscar winning movies in five years and you want to punch up Bette Midler’s Vegas act, shake hands and run.

Figure out just how you’re going to work. Head-to-head? Splitting the assignment up and each taking individual scenes? One person writes the rough draft and the other rewrites it? There’s a screenwriting team of women who sit around the pool and get smashed. One mans the computer while the other floats on a raft. That works for them. I could see it working for me. What works for you?

The Odd Couple would not make a good writing team. Felix would want to start the assignment right away and turn it in early. Oscar would wait until legal action was threatened. Both of you need to be one or the other.

Now the essential stuff:

You must trust and respect your partner. If you don’t think he’s the talented one of the two you haven’t found the right person. And that’s not saying you always have to defer to your partner. I don’t know a single writing team that doesn’t argue. But here’s the key:

Don’t make it personal.

Let me repeat in all-caps:

DON'T MAKE IT PERSONAL.

Think of TV wrestlers. They kill each other on camera and after the show all go out for beers. Argue over script issues but don’t let the disagreement bleed into personal feelings. And along those lines…

Fight fair.

No passive-aggressive bullshit, no mind games, no guilt trips. My partner and I have a policy. First off, we both have to agree before a line goes in. Secondly, if we can’t agree, and one can’t quickly convince the other, we just throw the line out and come up with something else. Trust me, it takes less time to craft a new joke than spend all afternoon arguing and ultimately one person ends up unhappy.

I know this sound like a lot of rules but the rewards if you find the right person can be enormous. And don’t kid yourself. Your car will need servicing sometime.

Happy hunting.

My Tweets for the Week

For those who don't follow me on Twitter, here's what you missed this week.   

If you juxtapose the letters in Gabby Douglas’ last name – it will spell – “USA Gold!” And more amazing – Phelps spells “Spleph.”

How come Siri understands Martin Scorsese and not me?

Two more endorsements for Romney: A porn star and Clint Eastwood.

I hate when I swim and there’s that damn World Record yellow line that keeps eluding me. It’s annoying. Stop it!

How soon till Gabby Douglas becomes a judge on AMERICAN IDOL?

The DARK KNIGHT with Anne Hathaway trounces TOTAL RECALL at the boxoffice. Two breasts are still better than three.

I bet the Peacock has not received one complaint during the Olympics from viewers who miss their favorite NBC shows.

Taking @tomleykis to lunch for his birthday. He’s so old he remembers when radio was good.

Ticket prices are rising again. Just in time for the new Will Ferrell movie.

Vin Scully, talking about Twitter called a Tweet a Twit. Earlier this year Bob Uecker called it a Twat.

Colin O’Donoghue joins the cast of ONCE UPON A TIME as beloved storybook character Speedy Alka-Seltzer.

NBC is hoping they can average in these big Olympic numbers and beat Univision for the 2012-13 season.

You can follow me @KenLevine or by just going here.  

Funny writers on funny writing

Earlier this year I participated in a seminar at U.C. Santa Barbara on comedy writing sponsored by the Carsey-Wolf Center. I spoke on a panel that included my partner, David Isaacs, Cheri & Bill Steinkellner, Jon Stark, and Janis Hirsch. Lots of good information and plenty of laughs. The session was recently made available on line and I thought you might enjoy it. Cheri is the moderator.

Worst network note ever

Friday Questions

Here are some Friday Questions.  Do you have one?  Please leave it in the comments section. Thanks.

Kev starts us off:

What do you think of Gotham Writer's Workshops and other workshops like that? Worth that money?

It depends on who’s teaching them and how much they charge. Check the instructor’s credits. Remembering that just because a guy has six Emmys doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good teacher, but if an instructor’s last credit was PETTICOAT JUNCTION or his best credit is ASK HARRIET you might want to see who else is on the faculty. And if the workshop wants hundreds of dollars, that’s a red flag too.

But if the price is reasonable and the instructor appears to know what he’s doing, then sure, go for it. If nothing else, you'll get more practice, meet other young writers who are trying to break in, you might get a partner out of it, or at least a support group. Although I would worry about taking a sitcom course from the Gotham City Workshop.  You look to your left and there is a student in white clown make up. 


Cody asks:

Have you ever missed a deadline because you just couldn't get the episode to gel no matter what you tried?

I'm getting cold chills just thinking about it.  Yes, it has happened. But only after all night rewrite sessions still produce nothing. There are several options:

Send a partial script down to the stage with instructions that the rest will follow, and you keep working on it.

Shut down the show for a day. Studios hate this of course, but usually we make the day up by shooting the next show on a four-day schedule instead of five.

A third option is to just scrap the script, and insert next week’s script, assuming it’s in decent shape, and there is not a big swing set that needs to be constructed.

One of the reasons why we always produced our multi-camera shows on a Wednesday-Tuesday schedule instead of Monday-Friday is that if the script was really in trouble we had two weekend fail-safe days to fix it. Also, if we had to push shooting the show back from Tuesday to Wednesday we still had the crew. The camera crews generally work two shows – one that films on Tuesday night and the other that films on Friday night. They need two days for each show – one for camera blocking and the other for the actual filming. If you have to push back a Friday shoot night you’re screwed because the crew works Monday on their other show. The only day of the week that the crews don’t normally work is Wednesday.

The truth is throughout the course of a season there will always be at least one script that is just snake-bitten. Hopefully, it is only one or two. And part of your job as a showrunner is to manage these crises. If it becomes a habit, if scripts are routinely arriving late to the stage, or you have to shut down repeatedly chances are you’ll be replaced.

But most of the time you are able to cobble together something that’s at least acceptable. It may not be your best show of the season but no stunt involving a shark is required.


Sean in NoCal wonders:

In your career as a baseball broadcaster, have you ever gotten fairly close to a player only to see him traded? I know as a fan, having a favorite player trades mid-season just kinda sucks.

That happens frequently. Usually it’s bittersweet because you know the player is going off to a better situation, but of course, you’ll miss him.

After I did a year in Baltimore I latched on with Seattle. Later that next year I was calling a Mariners-Orioles game from Camden Yards. It was late in the season and by then I’d become good friends with most of the Mariners.

Suddenly a bench-clearing brawl erupted, and this was a hairy one. I’m describing it all on the radio and thinking, “Ohmygod, I’m friends with all of these people. They’re slugging each other and honestly, I don’t know who to root for.” That was bizarre.

One thing I should point out – when I say “friends” that’s not “close friends.” You don’t want to get too close because then it’s hard to be objective on the air. I’ve actually become better friends with a number of players once they retired.


Christodoulos has a question related to my book (which is crying to be read by you):

Which movies of the era would go well with it? Which movies do you feel capture the experience of everyday life in the 60's?

THE GRADUATE, EASY RIDER, HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI. And there’s an obscure movie that you never see anymore and I have no idea if it is even available to rent, but it’s called A SMALL CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, starring Brad Davis, Karen Allen, and some unknown actress named Shelley Long. But of all those ‘60s college unrest movies, this was the best. At least I thought so when I last saw it – in 1980. Who knows? Today I might cringe. It might not hold up like HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI.

The 8 Tips For Becoming a Good Warm-Up Guy

Over the years I've written, produced, and directed hundreds of episodes of sitcoms shot before a live studio audience. Especially in the late '90s when I was freelance directing and it seemed like every week I was at a different studio on a different stage with a different show.  Just as I moved around, so did the warm up men.  My wife and daughter, Annie would often attend these filming nights.  Annie was ten then.  She became somewhat of an aficionado of warm up people.  Some she liked, others she tortured.  After awhile she knew them all -- their strengths and weaknesses.  And thus she's compiled the 8 Tips For Becoming a Good Warm-Up Guy -- the most comprehensive and only guide to this unique art.  So today I'm going to turn it over to Annie. C'mon, folks, let's give her a big hand. 

Being a warm-up guy cannot be easy. You're the commercials that no one can fast-forward through. (Though DISH is probably working on that.) You struggle on the standup circuit,, claw your way onto a studio lot, and all you get is heckled by a sassy ten year-old. (At least, all the warm up guys I sat through did.)

Growing up listening to warm-up guys every week has made me a self-appointed expert on the subject. So, should you be lucky enough to land one of these auspicious gigs, here is some unsolicited
advice for you at no charge. I won't even make you give me an autographed photo of the cast.

1. It's a big deal to get that job, so act like you want to be there. There's nothing more annoying for the audience than having the first scene end and you're already in the parking lot. Worse is the extended sigh as if to say, "Shit. I gotta talk to these idiots again?" Gee. Thank you. We idiots are not thrilled by you either.

2. Not everyone in your audience is brand new each week. Some of us are related to the cast or crew. For those of us who are there time and time again, please throw in some new material. The people who create the show write a completely new episode each week. All we're asking for is one new fresh knock knock joke.  And maybe lose the one about the blonde and the dead bird. 

3. This isn't your big chance to get into the Friars Club. Jim from Idaho didn't wait in line for three hours to hear how fat he is. A little gentle ribbing about where we're from or how long we've been
married is fine. If you start foaming at the mouth, you've lost us.

4. Give away candy and we'll laugh at your jokes. Give away merchandise from the show, and suddenly the sitcom we came to see is opening for you. (Well, not always. I once won a shirt and I was insanely excited. Thirty seconds later my mother handed the shirt back to the warm up guy. I believe her words to me were, "We have enough of this crap at home. Let the tourists have it.")

5. You might think this would go without saying, but your material should not rely on cursing or dirty jokes. Especially if it's a family show. The audience over at JESSIE does not need to know how long it’s been since you’ve received oral sex. One guy exclusively told raunchy jokes, like he was doing warm-up for Andrew Dice Clay’s bachelor party. Needless to say, the audience looked like they were sitting on burning coals.

6. Keep your energy up, no matter how late the filming goes. Keep a tool belt of Red Bull or pick up a cocaine habit. Whatever. Just don't yawn.

7. Make sure you can pronounce all the cast members' names correctly before you introduce them. It's important that the audience likes you, but it's equally important that the actors on the show don't want you dead. Don’t just take a stab at Kunal Nayyar. Ask him. At some point during the night, let everyone know who wrote and directed the episode and anyone else involved – line producers, assistant directors, that weird guy in shorts who’s always changing light bulbs. They all deserve a round of applause.

8. Just have a good time! You have an audience required to not walk out on you. That’s like a comic’s greatest gift. Don't worry if you have an off week. Just blame it on that week's episode and move on.

Knock 'em dead. And ignore the ten years-olds. They're just cranky their moms won't let them have swag.

Annie

Adventures of a Warm-Up Guy

Here's a bonus Friday Question that leads to a worthy topic: Warm-Up Guys.

It’s from Brian Phillips:

Warming up an audience takes a special talent. Johnny Olson (pictured: above), of "The Price is Right", from what I have read, was great at it. Who warmed up the audience on the shows you worked on? If it is not someone associated with the show, who determines who gets the gig?

There have been so many over the years that I don’t remember a lot of their names. Ray, Mark, Wendy, and J.J. if that helps.   Usually either stand-up comedians or writers from the show handle the warm-up duties. I did the warm-up for CHEERS for awhile. Then I passed the torch to another writer, Earl Pomerantz. The great David Lloyd used to do the warm-up for THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW during his stint on the show. Jay Tarses, the showrunner of THE BOB NEWHART SHOW and TONY RANDALL SHOW did their warm ups – perhaps the most caustic warm ups ever.  I'm surprised he wasn't attacked every week. 

For comedians it’s a great gig. Steady work, a captive audience, and the pay is pretty decent. If you build a name for yourself you can score several gigs a week.

The showrunner hires the warm-up guy, or assigns it to his line producer. Here’s how I got my gig on CHEERS. For the first few episodes we had a comic who worked a lot of shows. Les Charles got a call at 5:00 on a filming night saying he was sick and couldn’t make it that night. Les turned to me and said, “You used to be a disc jockey, right?” I said, yes, and he said, “Congratulations. You’re doing the warm-up.”

After that night the cast went to Les & Glen and requested I do it every week. I was very flattered and it was also extra money. Honestly, I think the reason they preferred me was not that I was funnier but that I kept the audience in the show better. I kept reminding them what was going on in the story, I answered a lot of questions about the show, and in general just kept the audience more focused. And now that I think about it, he wasn’t that funny either.

Each warm-up guy has his own schtick. I did about a five minute intro. And from the reaction to the jokes I knew whether we had a good audience or 200 cadavers. A multi-camera sitcom filming generally takes two or three hours. You have to fill time between scene and costume changes and during conferences on the stage when the writers decide to change the script on the fly.

Some warm-up guys would have games and contests or do magic tricks. I answered audience questions and did a play-by-play of what was going on on the stage as if I were a golf announcer. I’d whisper, “There’s a two-writer/one-actor comfab. The last time there was one of those was July 23, 1978 on THE JEFFERSONS. You’re witness to history, ladies and gentlemen.” Nonsense like that.

A few shows will also hire a small band to play between scenes. On ALMOST PERFECT we had a lot of Carole King’s band. Needless to say, they were hot. I kept hoping Carole would sit in but she never did. I stole a bit from Jay Tarses. Whenever the band would finish Jay would make up the song title.  “That’s the theme from DUCK, YOU SUCKER.” “Music from a book: LBJ – THE WHITE HOUSE YEARS.” I think I even stole some of his actual song titles. No, wait. I didn’t steal them. It was an homage.

One of the reasons I liked doing the warm-up was that I felt I was really contributing to the filming. Actors feed off the energy of the audience and if I could generate a hot crowd then maybe the cast’s performance level might rise a percentage point or six.

Tomorrow: More on the subject with a guest blogger who’s an expert on the subject. But for now, let’s give a big hand for today’s blog post. I’m going to take a break, but in the meantime, here’s the band to play one of your favorites: “Love song from SAW IV: JIGSAW’S BAR MITZVAH.”

Warning: I'm feeling snarky today

So here are some random topics...

Now that the MODERN FAMILY adults have gotten a pay raise, the kids want to negotiate pay hikes as well.  I'm not making this up.  Did they not see how hard it was to replace Lilly? Have they not noticed that on MAD MEN every year there’s a different Bobby Draper? Ray & Debra Barone had kids too. How often did you see them? If Haley is shipped off to college she’s back to doing Olive Garden commercials. At what point does this become silly?

At one time you tuned into the Olympics and there was Jim McKay. Now it’s Ryan Seacrest. That’s like saying once we had Brando, now we have Rob Schneider.

I don’t care what anybody says. I love THE NEWSROOM. This week’s was terrific. If we're not going to see Olivia Munn naked at least we get to hear her speak Japanese.  And Sam Waterston finally blew a gasket. For ten years I was waiting for him to do that on LAW & ORDER. Just once I wanted to see him grab Tovah Feldshuh by the neck and swing her around the courtroom like a rag doll.

In 1995 Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss had a sitcom on Fox called PARTNERS. Here’s the premise: two architects are partners. One of them gets engaged, which strains their relationship. They also have an off-beat secretary and the pilot was directed by James Burrows. Now CBS has a sitcom premiering in the fall from David Kohan & Max Mutchnick (WILL & GRACE) called PARTNERS. Here’s the premise: two architects are partners. One of them gets engaged, which strains their relationship. They also have an off-beat secretary and the pilot was directed by James Burrows. If you look real hard you might see similarities. When Jeff Greenstein cried foul Kohan & Mutchnick were baffled and claimed they’re two very different shows. I’m interested to see how this plays out because I have a pilot I’m developing about a straight girl living with a gay guy and they each have a kooky friend. What do you think of WILL & GRACE as the title?

THIS JUST IN:  My book is now available in Audiobook form!  I narrate it myself.  Here's where you go to order.   Imagine me sitting next to you on a 7 hour & 23 minute car ride to Bakersfield.  I'm very excited about it and hope you will be too.  Even if you bought the book, it's different listening to it.  I correct all the typos.  

Actual Huffington Post headline yesterday: MAN SHOOTS FIREWORKS OUT OF HIS BUTTOCKS, GOES TO AUSTRALIA HOSPITAL.

At the CBS session with TV critics, new daytime talk show host, Jeff “Wanna know what you’re playin’ for?” Probst said this: “If you’re looking for Jerry (Springer) or Maury (Povich), this isn’t your show. We aren’t looking for people fighting onstage or paternity testing. If you’re looking for something new, that’s where we are.” He goes on to say his role model is Phil Donahue. Phil’s daytime yak show ran from 1967-1996. What could be newer than that?

I will say this: as much as I love THE NEWSROOM, I can’t imagine watching it in closed-captions.

More book news:  I'm planning some book signings for THE ME GENERATION… BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE ‘60s). You peeps in LA and Seattle – any interest in coming out for something like that? I’ll read, I’ll sign, I’ll explain the Infield Fly Rule. For updates, reviews (got a bunch of really nice ones), photos, and insane videos just visit my website – megenerationbook.com. And please buy the book! There’s no guarantee the public will watch a show called WILL & GRACE.

At 38 Ichiro lowers the average age of the Yankee line-up.

Based on how AMERICAN HORROR STORY finagled its way into Emmy nominations, NBC should enter their Olympic coverage as a mini-series next year.

Why I prefer the Summer Olympics to the Winter Olympics:

Ever have dreams of being a sportscaster? The Houston Astros are looking for a young radio reporter who would be a regular part of the broadcast, interviewing players, and filing reports. The contest is open to everybody willing to live in Houston. Here’s where you go to sign up.

Have you heard the great news? Bristol Palin is going back on DANCING WITH THE STARS! The last time she was on, a man in Wisconsin was so angry he shot his television set. I fear for his microwave. Not only is Bristol a Clydesdale on the dance floor, this time she’ll be competing against four former winners. As if ABC cares. By the way, Bristol’s qualification for being considered a star (besides being the daughter of attention monger Sarah): she’s a paid speaker for teen abstinence. I can’t tell you how many young girls from Ohio get off the bus every day in Hollywood with stars in their eyes and dreams of becoming the next paid speaker for teen abstinence.

The acquisition of Hanley Ramirez will really help the Dodgers… until he turns into Manny Ramirez.

And they wonder why STEP UP REVOLUTION was such a boxoffice flop this weekend. They left in a scene where the dancers break into a party wearing body vests and gas masks and use gas grenades to threaten the guests. Now you might say, how could they be so fucking stupid in light of Aurora? Hey, they did pull the scene from the TV ad.

For all the people in Great Britain who thought it was just fine that the Olympics Lid Lifter was geared just for them and who cares if the rest of the world is left out? --  The Brentwood Cheesecake Factory on San Vicente is closing in September.

Receiving a Television Critics Award

Just as swallows return to San Juan Capistrano every March, television critics flock to Los Angeles every July for their bi-annual convention. For several weeks they’re trapped in the Beverly Hilton Hotel as networks parade out their newest shows, stars, and showrunners for panel discussions. Last year the producers of HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN went on for an hour about how great their show was. I can only imagine the balloon juice at the WHITNEY session.

Between these thinly disguised sales pitches and cocktail parties put on by networks hoping to secure good reviews for providing crab puffs are the TCA Awards. These are given out based on quality not popularity so there is rarely any overlap between them and the People’s Choice Awards.

CHEERS won the Heritage Award this year and I was honored to accept on behalf of the show along with casting director, Jeff Greenberg. I was a little disappointed the Heritage Award didn’t go to BIG WAVE DAVE’S but I was able to put aside my deep hurt and appear chipper.

The ceremony was held in the Grand Ballroom. It’s where they stage the GOLDEN GLOBES and the far more prestigious any-other-award shows. The TCA Awards were not televised. NBC opted for the Olympics instead. But that made the evening a little more intimate and the comments a bit more freewheeling.

The night started off with a cocktail reception and a number of food stations. One was carving roast beef for sandwiches on little rolls. I asked the server (slicer? What do you call those people?) to cut the bun and as he did his knife snapped in half. How tough is a bun if it can break a carving knife?

My wife and I hob-nobbed with a gaggle of critics. Over the years and over the internet I’ve become friends with quite a few. I think we bonded years ago with our shared love for MAD MEN and hate for KATH AND KIM.

The cast of BREAKING BAD was there. Reunited with Aaron Paul who had been in a failed pilot of ours. Kat Dennings was in that same doomed project. We’re like the Broadway Danny Rose of television.

Rarely am I awed by celebrities but Claire Danes was in the room. For my money, she’s the next Meryl Streep. I sooo love her in HOMELAND. I was too nervous to go up and tell her I’ve watched that scene where she’s given electro-shock at least a half dozen times.

The ceremony was about to begin. We all repaired to the main ballroom where we sat at large tables. Just like the Golden Globes except that instead of George Clooney sitting there, you had the TV critic from Kalamazoo. We shared a table with the producers of LOUIE. Louis CK was not in attendance. He was picking up his kid from camp in Albany. But it was great to get the inside scoop on just how Louie puts that show together. Very impressive. 

Bryan Cranston was the host. He did a monologue that got off to a rough start with a Whitney Houston joke. But along the way there were some funny lines, and what can I say? That guy can do no wrong… save for maybe the Whitney Houston zingers.

The winners are listed below. LOUIE won twice and Claire Danes thanked her writers. (Later I met one of them.  Meredith Stiehm who penned the extraordinary “Weekend” episode of HOMELAND. With all due respect to MAD MEN that deserved an Emmy nom.)

Jeff Greenberg and I accepted the award for CHEERS. Several of my jokes went over well and at one point I made Claire Danes laugh really hard so I can die now.

More cocktails and schmoozing.  A yummy-looking dessert table was set out, but I did not indulge.  After the bun incident I worried that I'd have a creme brulee and chip a tooth. 

Still, a good time was had by all. Thanks again to the TCA for having me participate, Claire Danes for laughing, and congratulations to all the winners. Hopefully next year BIG WAVE DAVE’S will get the recognition it deserves, but I’m not holding my breath.

Here’s the list of very worthy winners:

Program of the Year: Game of Thrones

Best Drama Series: Breaking Bad

Best New Program: Homeland

Best Miniseries/Movie: Downton Abbey

Individual Achievement in Drama: Claire Danes

Individual Achievement in Comedy: Louis C.K.

Outstanding Achievement in Reality Programming: So You Think You Can Dance

Outstanding Achievement in Youth Programming: Switched at Birth

Heritage Award: Big Wave Dave's (I can dream)

Career Achievement: David Letterman

More Olympic Controversy

As the stories begin emerging, it is more and more apparent that we Star Spangled Americans were treated to a distorted view of the Opening Ceremonies. Based on your comments, it seems the rest of the world didn’t have Paula Abdul babbling throughout the spectacle like we did thanks to NBC. And the rest of the world didn’t see a selectively edited version.

Word now surfaces that there was a section devoted to people who had died, and not only did NBC not air it – they replaced it with an insipid Ryan Seacrest interview. Set aside for a moment that Ryan Seacrest has no business being there in the first place. I’m sure his only exposure to sports is playing Marco Polo in the pool with the Kardashian sisters. But why should NBC decide which parts of the ceremony we see and which we don’t? I can even understand if it’s a time issue but they spent the first half hour showing us filler bullshit. And we must’ve watched David Beckham riding in a boat for ten minutes.

And it gets worse.  When asked to account for this, NBC Sports spokesman Greg Hughes actually defended their decision. "Our program is tailored for the U.S. television audience," he said. "It's a credit to (ceremony director) Danny Boyle that it required so little editing."

A credit to Danny Boyle?!  Really?  A credit?! That’s maybe the greatest “You look fabulous for a fat girl” left handed compliment ever.

I wonder just what NBC’s thought process was to edited out that segment. It was too much of a downer?  They had a promo for new Matthew Perry sitcom scheduled and it just wouldn’t fit? Meredith made a joke over it?  Ryan Seacrest had it in his ridiculous mega-deal? It was a compromise – half the executives wanted to cut Paul McCartney instead?

Here's a link to that section.  (Thanks Sam Simon for finding it.)

Is there any way we in America could watch the Closing Ceremony from Denmark’s feed? Or Costa Rica’s? (Thanks to reader Kathleen, apparently there is.  Here's that link.)

One thing is for sure, and as an Oscar-winning director, Danny Boyle should know this: Never direct anything without first getting the final cut.

THE DARK KNIGHT review RETURNS

Yes, this is a re-post.  It's my review of the DARK KNIGHT from August, 2008.  Like I said earlier, I thought the latest one was okay but not as much fun as the previous two.   But the second film inspired me to write this: 
Why would anyone live in Gotham City? Jesus! You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting six mob bosses. And then there’s the town’s super psycho villain – they couldn’t find someone a little more aesthetically pleasing? Children watch those televised truck chases too, y’know. And Juneau appears to have more daytime in the winter than Gotham City. Does it get dark everyday at noon?

The skyline is harsh and impersonal. All that’s missing are smokestacks and an American Girl Place Experience.

No wonder a suped-up roadster/tank can get around in relative ease and drive at 100 mph through heavily populated city streets. Until Allstate offers “explosion insurance”, who wants to drive at night there?

Not that I feel sorry for the citizens. They have this superhero who seems to save them from annihilation every few weeks and he’s less popular than Andruw Jones with Dodger fans. What does a bat have to do to get some love in that kooky town?

And how stupid are these criminals? Why not just move their operations to Scottsdale. Let’s see how well Batman and Spiderman fly around when the tallest building is a four story Holiday Inn.

I don’t know what’s a worse job – Police Commissioner of Gotham City or President of their Tourist Bureau. Note to summer sight-seers: stay off the ferries.

Quick aside: Wouldn’t you love to see AMERICAN IDOL open auditions in Gotham City? Paula would be mistaken for the Joker.

I used to think the Joker was a brilliant mastermind until I realized a number of his fiendish plots were a direct lift from SAW.

DARK KNIGHT was a fun ride and Heath Ledger steals the movie (and everything else). But is it just me? I’m reaching the superhero saturation point. I’ve sympathized enough with tortured reluctant caped crusaders. And these movies all seem to turn on the heroes’ inability to kill the mass murderer psychopath villain because of some “code”. That doesn’t seem real. Oh… wait. We’re talking about guys who wear spandex suits and can fly – strike that last objection.

DARK KNIGHT is worth seeing but please Hollywood, no more comic books. The only character left is Bazooka Joe.

The Olympics Opening Ceremony: Review

First, some disclaimers.

I have no idea what I would have done had I been given the assignment to create the Opening Ceremonies.

Danny Boyle, who did have that herculean task, is one of my favorite film directors.  

The logistics must have been an unbelievable nightmare. Just coordinating all the dancers, costumes, sets, molten steel, LED screens, special effects, etc. was a miraculous feat in itself.

The TV coverage was amazing. A gazillion cameras. I can’t imagine directing that show – live yet.

I was looking forward to this.  I went into the show wanting to be moved, wanting to be awed, hoping to be overcome by emotion,  dazzled by the spectacle – and if you were I am happy for you and somewhat envious.

All that said…

I thought the Opening Ceremonies were the world’s longest graduation ceremony combined with the most overblown Orange Bowl Halftime Show ever.

I’m sorry. I was soooo exhausted after four-and-a-half hours of being bombarded by pomp & circumstance, and costumes, and running commentary that by the show’s end I felt like I had run the marathon.

I did however, love the faces of the young athletes. I know how hard and long they’ve trained for this and what an extraordinary accomplishment it is for them just to be there. I could feel their pride and was thrilled for each and every one of them, regardless of country, politics, or quality of their foreign films. But Jesus, there were over 200 of these countries. By Italy I was spent.

The show was seen around the world, and depending upon where you are the coverage might’ve been quite different. I can only speak for NBC and the U.S. feed.

Now NBC paid more for the rights to these games than the national budget of probably 136 of the competing nations, so it’s understandable that they'd want to squeeze in as many commercials as they could. So the program began at 7:30 with the first half hour being nothing but filler. Bob Costas talking to Tom Brokaw about security. Long filmed pieces about London. Zzzzzzzz.  Noted sports authority, Ryan Seacrest interviewing athletes. I was sure he was going to ask one, “So what are you going to sing for us tonight?”

Then the ceremony began hosted by Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera. If NBC loves Savannah Guthrie so much how come she didn’t co-host instead of Viera? Matt was his usual smooth polished self. Meredith was a ditz. Every five minutes she was saying, “I didn’t know that.” Well, you’re the commentator. You’re supposed to know!

If you’ve taped the show and haven’t seen it yet, here’s a fun drinking game: Take a swig every time someone says, “This is a moment he/she will always remember.” You’ll be smashed in an hour.

The presentation began with a bloated history of Great Britain complete with children’s choirs, Kenneth Branaugh doing a dramatic reading from THE TEMPEST, Brigadoon mountain, and my favorite – a salute to smoke stacks. Everything all night long was symbolic. Everything “represented” something. So what do you think giant poles rising to the sky might possibly represent?

I thought the burning Olympic Rings hovering over the stadium was a cool effect, marred however by the NBC logo in the corner of the screen. At least they didn't also have a crawl that read "WHITNEY MOVES TO FRIDAY."

Funny bit with Daniel Craig as James Bond supposedly fetching the Queen and then the Queen making her entrance via parachute. But that was the last laugh I got from the entire evening – including the tepid Rowan Atkinson bit.

I did love the subtle message Great Britain sent to the United States by doing an entire production number on the value of National Health Care. Otherwise, I don’t know why the bit was there. Billed as a salute to Children’s Literature, we saw thousands of children jumping on beds. Who cares? And at one point villains of Children’s Literature appeared – Captain Hook, the Queen of Hearts, Cruella de Vil. Knowing NBC, I was surprised they didn’t slip in the monsters from GRIMM.

Then came four decades of British music along with a boy-meets-girl scenario surrounded by dancers that felt like a half hour Dr. Pepper commercial.

Once it was time for the Parade of Athletes, NBC mercifully replaced Meredith Viera with Bob Costas. He and Matt tried their darndest to find interesting things to say about each passing country but after awhile everything blended to where I thought they said kids from Jordan speak Korean.

Finally the torch was lit. Thank you NBC for just showing us the last two miles of someone running with it and not the entire 12,000. I know that was tempting. Think of all the extra Matt Perry GO ON promos you could have shown!

And what better way to end this overly-long show than by having Sir Paul McCartney sing the longest Beatles song they ever recorded, HEY JUDE? As he was singing, I was thinking – a week ago Ringo Starr performed at Humphreys, an outdoor lawn venue in San Diego. Meanwhile, Paul McCartney sings at the Olympics Opening Ceremony for one billion people.

Let the games begin… already.

What did you think? I’d be especially interested in hearing from readers in other countries. What was your coverage like? Whoever your co-host for the Opening Ceremony was, we’ll trade you Meredith Viera for her.

The MODERN FAMILY cast holdout

This is a Friday Question I've received so often this week that I want to devote the entire post to it.

Among those asking was Rock Golf.

It sounds like the cast (at least the adults) on Modern Family are working together (well, actually NOT working together) in an effort to renegotiate their contracts (and did I use enough parentheses in this sentence?).

What are your thoughts? As a showrunner, what effect does this have on planning? Do they get support from the writers?

First off, I have no dog in this race. I feel bad for the producers and writers because of the inconvenience. Under the best of conditions, when things are going swimmingly, it’s still a bitch to knock out a good product every week, much less Emmy-winning quality. If this holdout stretches, then showrunners will have to scramble.   There's the possibility of missing air-dates.  Some scripts might have to be rewritten.  It sucks.

But in this case, that's not going to happen.  This will be settled soon, maybe even by the time you read this. 

Some backstory: When an actor signs on for a pilot he agrees to a seven-year contract. There are salary increases built in but they’re usually 4-6%. In a previous post I explained just how hard it is to even get hired in a pilot. (You can find that post here.) And if you are the lucky one, you have to sign your life away.

Two questions you might be asking:

Why seven years? So actors can’t do what the MODERN FAMILY cast is doing.

Isn’t signing a seven year contract a good thing because it means security? No because it’s not a guaranteed seven years. If the show gets cancelled that’s it. If the studio, producers, or network wants to replace you, or kill you (a favorite of TV dramas) they can. You however, can’t just say after year three you want a big raise because the show is making billions or you're tired of being a Klingon.

Not so fair, is it? And this is on top of committing seven years to producers you don’t know in most cases. They could be assholes. They could be insane. Or they could be great guys but they’re replaced in two years and the new producers are assholes.

There’s also the danger that playing one role for seven years could typecast you and ten years from now your career consists of appearing at the Nostalgia Show at the Burbank Marriott signing pictures of yourself next to the table where the robot from LOST IN SPACE is signing way more photos than you are.

So I’m torn. On the one hand, I do see their beef. On the other, there’s something to be said for the integrity of signing a contract and living up to it. Maybe I just spent too much time with John Wooden.

But here’s what the MF actors did: Sofia Vergara, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, and Ed O’Neill filed suit against 20th to void their contracts. That’s pretty unprecedented. Partly, they did that for protection. They didn’t show up for the first table reading of the season on Tuesday and the studio could sue them for breach of contract. “Out of good faith”, the cast did appear yesterday for the table reading.  And that olive branch re-opened the negotiations.

Hollywood fact:  Deals get done when the studios and networks feel they need them to get done.   If there's no imperative negotiations can take months or years.  If it behooves the studio or network to close the deal the negotiations can take ten minutes.   The MODERN FAMILY cast had been renegotiating for months.  Now suddenly, the studio presidents and top agents and lawyers found time in their busy schedules to meet yesterday afternoon. 

And something else you should know: Studios are making horrible deals these days. Why? Because they can. If an actor doesn’t agree with the studio's offer for the pilot, there are fifty others who will. Same for writers’ deals. The money is way less than even ten years ago. It used to be your agent could negotiate with the studio. Today the studio says “these are the terms and you have until 5:00 to agree to them, or we move on.” There are enough out-of-work writers that studios can get away with that now. And unlike the actors, writers have no leverage should the show become a smash hit. If actors don’t show up there’s no show. If writers pull that stunt there are seven new writers in the room tomorrow. The public isn’t going to know. But they sure will when they tune in MODERN FAMILY and it’s just Haley and Lilly.

The FRIENDS cast used this ploy and ultimately got a nice settlement. That’s what will happen here too. There will be some compromise. The cast won’t get what they’re asking for but they’ll receive a nice hike – way more than 6%. Everyone will kiss and hug and by the Emmys it’ll be one fucking lovefest.

(Note to the cast of WHITNEY: Don’t you be getting any ideas now.)

Meanwhile, 20th will go to ABC to try to get them to offset the salary increases.  Everyone will cry poor, and everyone will make gazillions.

So what do I ultimately think?  Like I said, this will be resolved soon if not already. I wish the actors well.     Hey, it’s not my money.

I'll be discussing this topic along with several others and plugging my book on the John Phillips Show on 790 KABC in Los Angeles and KABC.COM from 11-noon PDT. 

Because you asked for it

Since Friday Questions are so popular I thought I’d sneak in a bonus day. So here are Thursday Friday Questions.

Stephen starts us off:

What do you do with live studio audiences for new shows? I don't mean the pilot, but those first 4 or 5 (or more if it's debuting at midseason) episodes before the show premieres. How do you get them up to speed so that they understand the character humor? For example, was the live studio audience for episode 3 of Cheers made aware prior to taping of the circumstances that put Diane in the bar two episodes earlier?

A timely question since new shows are beginning to go into production right now. Usually, you’ll assemble a ten minute version of the pilot and screen it for the audience during the warm-up. And if there are key story elements the audience needs to know the warm-up guy will brief them.

But yes, certain jokes are not going to work because the audience doesn’t know the references. Yet, on the air, they might, and ultimately you're making the show for the television audience, not studio audience. 

A case in point was the Norm entrances. They bombed continuously until the series started to air. But we kept telling George Wendt not to worry about it. The audience didn’t know it was a running bit. Flash-forward to season eleven:  the minute George enters and says, "Afternoon, everybody" the place goes absolutely bonkers. 

A bigger problem is filling the bleachers with people who would watch this show anyway. Often groups have to be herded in. Imagine a busload of 90-year-old codgers filling the seats at WHITNEY. Or a group of high schoolers in the audience of HOT IN CLEVELAND.

Eventually, fans of a show will write in for tickets so by the end of the first season you can stack the house with ringers.

Mike has a question about the CHEERS spin-off, THE TORTELLIS.

Having never seen an episode, I was wondering: why do you think the show failed? Nick was one of my favorite recurring characters on Cheers. He lifted every episode he guested in. Do you think, though, he was best seen in small doses, and a whole show built around him was too much? Just what do you think happened here?

I may have told this story before, but David and I wrote an episode of THE TORTELLIS. We met with the Charles Brothers one afternoon to break a story. We spent all day trying to come up with an episode. Nothing seemed interesting. Finally, we decided to table the discussion until the next day. I asked Glen Charles, “What number episode is this?” He said, “Four.” And I said, “Four? We can’t come up with episode four? You are in shit shape with this show.”

And in truth they were. There was no real theme or premise. It was just a collection of characters living in Las Vegas. Add to that Nick & Loretta were fairly two-dimensional (funny as hell but two-dimensional) so it was hard to build a show around them. Compare that to spinning-off a far more fleshed-out and real character like Frasier Crane.

I remember there was a married couple who were writers on THE TORTELLIS. One day they got into an argument over a script they were writing for the show and it escalated to the point where they got divorced. They may have even come to blows. Over THE TORTELLIS. That’s when you know you’ve got a show in trouble.

From Artie:

I've been writing professionally in another creative medium for a couple years now, and thinking about trying my hand at writing for TV. One of the skills I've developed is the ability to fix or improve already existing work of other writers.

I hear about people in Hollywood who primarily work as "script doctors," and it seems like that tends to be part of a career as a more generative writer. My question is: Is that the kind of role that someone can legitimately use as an entry point?

Not to be blunt, but no. You don’t get script doctor jobs (“creative consultants”) until you’re a proven writer in your chosen genre. And unfortunately, those jobs are almost non-existent in today’s economy even for seasoned writers. Gone are the days a scribe could command a handsome fee for coming in one or two nights a week. Sigh.

But if editing is your gift I would suggest you explore entering the executive ranks. Networks and studios are filled with people who will graciously give script notes, whether they know shit or not. If you are truly good at fixing existing scripts you would be a real asset.


Johnny Walker asks:

How long do you spend a day (or week, if you don't work on it every day) on your blog? It's amazing to me that you keep coming up with fresh content!

Thanks.  It probably averages to an hour or so a day. Sometimes I’ll be inspired and bang out a couple posts at one sitting. Other times one post will take me all afternoon and then I'll still throw it away because it sucks. The hard part is coming up with topics. Once I latch onto a good topic I can write fairly quickly.  Sometimes. Occasionally.  Once last spring. 

And finally, from Susannahfromhungray:

Do you know if the character of Frasier's agent, Bebe Glazer, was named after Bebe Neuwirth?

I do know and the answer is no.

More questions tomorrow. If you have one, leave it in the comments section. I’ll try to get to as many as I can. Thanks.