My favorite cheesy TV Christmas Special

Here's a holiday excerpt from the book I'm writing about growing up in the 60s.

I still can’t fathom why anyone watched the ANDY WILLIAMS variety show on NBC if they didn’t own a color TV. It was so wholesome your teeth ached. Whatever “edge” the show had was provided by the Osmond Family. But it was in color and production numbers always featured grinning All-American yahoos in brightly colored sweaters holding brightly colored balloons. Not having a color TV and not being gay I never watched THE ANDY WILLIAMS SHOW… except…

During their Christmas special.

It was the one time of year Andy had his beautiful family on the show and this became a 60s American tradition. Mom and dad and the Williams kinder would sing Carols, exchange presents, and their message of love and holiday good cheer would absolutely entrance you. That’s not why I watched it, of course. I wanted to screw Andy’s wife.

Claudine Longet (Mrs. Williams) was a willowy brunette with exquisite doe eyes and luscious lips. Laura Petrie but French. She was also a successful recording artist but believe me, if she looked like Charles De Gaulle she couldn’t give away one record. But I found her incredibly sexy, even when she was singing Silent Night in front of a crucifix. She and Andy would divorce in the 70s and two years later she shot her boyfriend, Olympic skier Spider Sabich to death. I still wanted to screw her, but not as much.

So as enjoyable as those holiday shows were in the mid 60s, watching them now on PBS they take on a whole new level of absurdity. Two of their kids are named Noelle and Christian. How much more seriously can you take Christmas? And yet, twelve years later, there’s mom in a different winter wonderland with a loaded revolver. She was ultimately convicted on a lesser charge and married her defense attorney.

I’ll be on parole for Christmas.

My favorite cheesy TV Christmas special

Here's a holiday excerpt from the book I wrote about growing up in the 60s (that would make a GREAT holiday gift).   Order it here. 

I still can’t fathom why anyone watched the ANDY WILLIAMS variety show on NBC if they didn’t own a color TV. It was so wholesome your teeth ached. Whatever “edge” the show had was provided by the Osmond Family. But it was in color and production numbers always featured grinning All-American yahoos in brightly colored sweaters holding brightly colored balloons. Not having a color TV and not being gay I never watched THE ANDY WILLIAMS SHOW… except…

During their Christmas special.

It was the one time of year Andy had his beautiful family on the show and this became a 60s American tradition. Mom and dad and the Williams kinder would sing Carols, exchange presents, and their message of love and holiday good cheer would absolutely entrance you. That’s not why I watched it, of course. I wanted to screw Andy’s wife.

Claudine Longet (Mrs. Williams) was a willowy brunette with exquisite doe eyes and luscious lips. Laura Petrie but French. She was also a successful recording artist but believe me, if she looked like Charles De Gaulle she couldn’t give away one record. But I found her incredibly sexy, even when she was singing Silent Night in front of a crucifix. She and Andy would divorce in the 70s and two years later she shot her boyfriend, Olympic skier Spider Sabich to death. I still wanted to screw her, but not as much.

So as enjoyable as those holiday shows were in the mid 60s, watching them now on PBS they take on a whole new level of absurdity. Two of their kids are named Noelle and Christian. How much more seriously can you take Christmas? And yet, twelve years later, there’s mom in a different winter wonderland with a loaded revolver. She was ultimately convicted on a lesser charge and married her defense attorney.

I’ll be on parole for Christmas.

Weekend Post

 This was my favorite cheesy Christmas special growing up.  I wrote about it in my memoir, THE ME GENERATION...BY ME (the PERFECT holiday gift available in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook formats.  Hint hint.) 

I still can’t fathom why anyone watched the ANDY WILLIAMS variety show on NBC if they didn’t own a color TV. It was so wholesome your teeth ached. Whatever “edge” the show had was provided by the Osmond Family. But it was in color and production numbers always featured grinning All-American yahoos in brightly colored sweaters holding brightly colored balloons. Not having a color TV and not being gay I never watched THE ANDY WILLIAMS SHOW… except…

During their Christmas special.

It was the one time of year Andy had his beautiful family on the show and this became a 60s American tradition. Mom and dad and the Williams kinder would sing Carols, exchange presents, and their message of love and holiday good cheer would absolutely entrance you. That’s not why I watched it, of course. I wanted to screw Andy’s wife.

Claudine Longet (Mrs. Williams) was a willowy brunette with exquisite doe eyes and luscious lips. Laura Petrie but French. She was also a successful recording artist but believe me, if she looked like Charles De Gaulle she couldn’t give away one record. But I found her incredibly sexy, even when she was singing Silent Night in front of a crucifix. She and Andy would divorce in the 70s and two years later she shot her boyfriend, Olympic skier Spider Sabich to death. I still wanted to screw her, but not as much.

So as enjoyable as those holiday shows were in the mid 60s, watching them now on PBS they take on a whole new level of absurdity. Two of their kids are named Noelle and Christian. How much more seriously can you take Christmas? And yet, twelve years later, there’s mom in a different winter wonderland with a loaded revolver. She was ultimately convicted on a lesser charge and married her defense attorney.

I’ll be on parole for Christmas.

The perfect holiday gift for this year

I know it sounds like just another plug for my book but hear me out. This one’s legit! With the holidays just hours away, THE ME GENERATION… BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE ‘60s) would make the perfect gift for friends and family members who fondly remember that magic era when the surf was up, gas prices were down, music was psychedelic, and we kids didn't have a care in the world except Viet Nam and total nuclear annihilation.  Seriously, it’s a fun read. And it comes in three flavors: Kindle version. Paperback version (order now so it’s there on time). And audibook.

To help get you into the mood for the season here are two brief warm and touching excerpts:

Thanksgiving finally arrived and with it the cheese-rich Santa Claus Lane Parade down Hollywood Blvd. Unlike Macy’s with giant balloons and impressive marching bands, we had Hollywood B-actors, second bananas, local fringe celebrities riding in cars with their names hand-painted on the sides, and a few 100-year-old guys from an American Legion Post blowing their livers out through trombones. The big finale was the arrival of Santa Claus; usually on a float that looked like a Cub Scout project gone horribly wrong.

I never actually attended the parade. My parents were not about to wade through a million people so I could see talk show guest Oscar Levant either waving to the crowd or having another seizure. If we couldn’t walk to it (like the 4th of July parade) my folks weren’t interested. But I didn’t care. It was a TV event anyway.

Bill Welsh on Channel 11 would interview all the “stars” as they passed. How do you ask Gypsy Boots what his upcoming project was with a straight face? Gypsy Boots was a local health nut who was part Grizzly Adams/part Bozo the Clown. His upcoming project??? Appear in next year’s parade. Back in the ’50s, Natalie Wood or Bing Crosby would be the grand marshal. Now it was Iron Eyes Cody.

***

I couldn’t fathom why anyone would watch the Andy Williams variety show on NBC if they didn’t own a color TV. It was so wholesome your teeth ached. Whatever “edge” the show had was provided by the Osmond Family. But it was in color and production numbers always featured grinning All-American kids in brightly colored sweaters holding brightly colored balloons. Not having a color TV and not being gay I never watched The Andy Williams Show… except…

When it was time for the annual Christmas special.

Andy would always have his beautiful family on the show. Mrs. Williams & Andy and the adorable towheads would sing Carols, exchange presents, and their message of love and holiday good cheer would melt even the coldest heart. That’s not why I watched it, of course. I wanted to screw Andy’s wife.

Claudine Longet (Mrs. W.) was a willowy brunette with exquisite doe eyes and luscious lips. Laura Petrie but French. She was also a successful recording artist but believe me, if she looked like Charles De Gaulle she couldn’t give away one record. But I found her incredibly sexy, even when she was singing Silent Night in front of a crucifix. She and Andy divorced in the ’70s and two years later she shot her boyfriend, Olympic skier Spider Sabich to death. I stopped wanting to screw her then.

I’ll be on parole for Christmas.

The life and genius of Robin Williams

Well worth watching is the new Robin Williams documentary on HBO. They do an excellent job of capturing his genius and delving into the man behind the mania. I felt it was balanced and fairly accurately conveyed the Robin Williams I knew.

I won’t go into details of my relationship with Robin because I’ve spelled them out many times already on this blog, but I was in improv classes with him. And after class would get something to eat with him and others in the group. Later I had a movie idea I thought he’d be great for and he invited me up to his ranch in Northern California to discuss it, but the timing never worked out -- he went off to do some other project, and I was involved with something else.

The thing I always said about Robin (and they touch briefly on this) was that he had an on-and-off switch. During class he was the zany brilliant Robin we all know, but later in the restaurant he was quiet as a church mouse. Funny but at the time I almost felt a little cheated. It’s like if you were hanging with Frank Sinatra in the ‘50s (and he couldn’t get you girls) you’d at least want to hear him sing.

But after watching the documentary I got a new perspective. Looking back, I’m now somewhat thankful he wasn’t “on.” Because my reaction to the two-hour profile was that it was exhausting. Robin was truly a force of nature and it seems almost tragically inevitable that a light that bright would burn itself out, but it was comforting to see he had quiet moments along the way and that his life wasn’t just one super intense fever dream.

The end of course is so sad. For the extraordinary gift that he was bestowed it came with a very steep price. This documentary is filled with rare footage (even stuff with my improv classmates Andy Goldberg, Wendy Cutler, Paul Willson, and Susan Elliott), and even revelations. Like everyone else, I always assumed Robin left his first wife for his son’s nanny, but it turns out he and his wife had been separated for a year before he began a relationship with the nanny.

If you love Robin Williams (and who doesn’t), treat yourself to this profile of a once-in-a-lifetime entertainer.

Imus in the Crowd

Hollywood loves to remake movies. Why watch the 1948 classic, “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House” with Cary Grant when you can now see “Are We Done Yet?” with Ice Cube? So sooner or later they’ll get around to remaking Elia Kazan and Budd Schulberg’s brilliant “Face in the Crowd”. In that film, a scathing look at America in the late 50’s, Andy Griffith plays folksy minstrel Lonesome Rhodes, a charismatic performer who captures the imagination of the country while off camera shows himself to be a hateful, evil, dangerous egomaniac. At the end of the movie (50 year old SPOILER ALERT) he trips up, the nation sees him for who he really is and his career is ruined.

This is how I imagine a conference between a Hollywood studio exec and the screenwriter assigned to update “Face in the Crowd”:

STUDIO EXEC: Loved your first draft. Couldn’t put it down…other than for that NCAA championship game. Damn, I was rooting for Rutgers. What heart those gals had. Someone should option them. Anyway, loved it, it was great. Just had a few thoughts. Lonesome Rhodes was such a folksy name. I don’t know if “Don Imus” gives us that quality.

WRITER: You said to make it more urban. And there’s the subliminal message – Imus … “I’m us”.

STUDIO EXEC: Jesus, that’s brilliant. I didn’t see it. And I pride myself on that sort of thing. Hey, I bet Don is a subliminal message for “Dawn”, right?

WRITER: What?

STUDIO EXEC: He’s a morning man on the radio. Gets up at “dawn”.

WRITER: Huh? Oh. Right. Yeah.

STUDIO EXEC: Subtext. I love it. Okay, so I’m good. Now, the script itself. (leafing through pages) Talk talk talk, lots of stage direction here, hard to wade through – just a note for the future. No one in this town wants to read a book. (more leafing) He makes it big, steps on people along the way, screws over the girl – nice. Oh yeah. He’s kind of a son-of-a-bitch right on the air. Wasn’t Andy Griffith more like…uh, who am I thinking of? … Andy Griffith?

WRITER: You said this was for Pacino but okay. I’m sure Al Pacino can play Andy Griffith.

STUDIO EXEC: We put him in Levi shirts. Maybe give him a farm. He’ll be great. Now my one big problem: the ending.

WRITER: You don’t like the ending?

STUDIO EXEC: It doesn’t work. He doesn’t say anything inflammatory enough.

WRITER: Calling the Williams sisters “animals better suited for National Georgraphic than Playboy” wouldn’t piss people off?

STUDIO EXEC: Nah… not really. It should but no.

WRITER: (thrown) Okay. Well, I was going to have him just call Arabs “ragheads” on the air but thought that might be too much.

STUDIO EXEC: Too much? Try not enough.

WRITER: Are you serious?

STUDIO EXEC: These are cynical times, my friend.

WRITER: Okay, how about this? He calls his Jewish management “money-grubbing bastards”? Look at what happened to Mel Gibson.

STUDIO EXEC: Forgotten. Over. He apologized to both Diane Sawyer AND Barbara Walters. He could run for Pope. Hey, there’s one girl on Rutgers who could block a Kobe shot. Did you see her?

WRITER: Oh oh oh. What if Imus says about the Rutgers team, “That’s some nappy-headed ho’s there.”?

STUDIO EXEC: Hmmmm. Maybe. That’s promising. (beat) I dunno. He’d probably just get a suspension for that.

WRITER: For calling lovely, dedicated, hard working African-American women prostitutes? That doesn’t send out a message of extreme racism?

STUDIO EXEC: Oh, I see. Subliminal again. Like his name. But do you think the audience would really make the connection?

WRITER: Uh…YEAH! They’d protest. Sponsors would bail. Guests would bail. This would be a big deal. He’d be fired for sure. I mean, how could people possibly let him get away with saying something that vile?

STUDIO EXEC: I don’t know but okay. Try it. I don't think a big broadcasting company would ever can a guy who makes them money, but who knows? It's movie magic.

Tomorrow: a tribute to Stan Daniels

Lamest pilot title maybe ever.

Ready for some Friday Questions?

Mr. Ace has two to start us off:

1. How do the show creators come up with the names for their shows?

They get real liquored up and play Pictionary.  Seriously, I don't know.  I'm sure each creator has his own method for coming up with titles the way he has his own way of writing scripts.

I’ve found that either you can come up with a title in ten seconds or it takes forever and often you still never find a great one. Ideally, there’s something in the subject matter that leads to a clever or descriptive title. For my money, the shorter the title the better.

Quite often titles will change between the initial pilot and the final show. The series, UNFORGETTABLE had maybe the worst title ever originally. THE REMEMBERER. Can you believe that? “I’m the lead detective on this case. For this investigation I’ve enlisted the help of a forensic expert and the Rememberer.”

2. I have read that guys like Sidney Sheldon wrote most if not all of the episdoes of his shows. I was wondering how common is that nowadays?

Rarely, but it happens. Aaron Sorkin writes practically all of his shows. So does David Kelley (even when he has two or three on the air at the same time). Larry Gelbart wrote most of MASH for the first four seasons. Carl Reiner scripted most of the DICK VAN DYKE SHOWS the first three seasons (and they did 39 episodes a year). And of course, Matthew Weiner of MAD MEN (yes, that's only 13 at a time but wow-- those 13 episodes). 

My partner and I wrote most of the 7th season of MASH. If we didn’t write the drafts ourselves we rewrote all the others. I look back and wonder: how the hell did we do that?

I’m in awe of writers like Sorkin and Kelley who can be that prolific and that GOOD week after week, season after season. One year of it and I was ready for the drooling academy.


Steve wonders:

Do you have an opinion on backdoor pilots? I remember Golden Girls did one in 1987 to set up Empty Nest, and just a few years ago Grey's Anatomy gave up two episodes of its season to setting up its spin-off Private Practice; but do you think these are cheap cheats at getting a mass audience to sample the new show or is simply a smart business tactic?

Smart business for several reasons. You save a big chunk of money on a pilot and, as you suggested, you have a built-in audience. This practice goes way back. In the early ‘60s THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW was a backdoor pilot from THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW. What’s interesting about that is that THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW was about a nightclub performer in Manhattan and Andy Taylor couldn’t have been less show bizzy or New York if he tried. Still, that character was cleverly introduced and made the necessary impressive impression.

In the ‘70s, Norman Lear used ALL IN THE FAMILY episodes to spin off both MAUDE and THE JEFFERSONS.  I'm sure there are dozens of other examples.

But to me, the most bizarre backdoor pilot was introducing Robin Williams as MORK on HAPPY DAYS. I’m surprised the expression isn’t “Jumping the Egg”.


And finally, from Andy Cook:

How is it handled when one character has to say something personal and derogatory about the appearance of another – e.g. they’re fat or ugly i.e. some nasty description that actually applies to the actor.

Do writers shy away from it? Does it make the rehearsal process awkward? How do you call for actors for the fat/ugly part and what’s the audition like?

That’s a great question, Andy. Yes, writers do have to be sensitive to actors’ feelings when it comes to slamming their physical shortcomings in front of twenty million people. It’s best to diplomatically ask the actor in question if he’s okay with it. And if he’s not, respect that. On MIKE & MOLLY the series is pretty much built around fat jokes. The actors knew that when they signed on. But on CHEERS we tended to shy away from Norm fat jokes. And we didn’t feel we were losing that much in terms of comic opportunities. There were enough other avenues for laughs that we didn’t need to resort to fat jokes at George’s expense.

On THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW a staple of comedy was Morey Amsterdam making fun of Richard Deacon’s baldness. But Deacon was a great sport.

And it’s important that whoever the target character is, that character gets to give it right back.

What’s your question?

Merry Christmas

Back in the 60s a holiday tradition was the Andy Williams family Christmas show featuring his lovely wife Claudine Longet. They later divorced and she shot and killed her boyfriend, Olympic skier Spider Sabich. So if you can put aside the fact that she's a murderer, enjoy her singing this Christmas classic.



Another way to celebrate Christmas and honor Claudine's message of peace to all mankind (except one) is to vote for your favorite Daffy Definition? Here's where you go.

Okay, you can play Christmas music now

Now that we're less than two weeks away from Christmas instead of the day after Labor Day, I think it's finally appropriate to play Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites and not-so-favorites. What are yours?

Personally, I get a warm feeling when I hear Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song”, which was written by Mel Torme. One Christmas night I saw Mel eating alone at Delores coffee shop. It was ironic but sad.

The Phil Spector Christmas album is still my favorite. Putting aside that he killed someone, we thank Phil for a real musical gift.

And Darlene Love's , "Christmastime for the Jews" which is a recent parody of her own work on the album is maybe the funniest Christmas song ever.

I fancy the oldies. Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Bobby Helm’s “Jingle Bell Rock”, and the Beach Boys’ “Little St. Nick”.

The Boss’s Xmas ditty is pretty catchy as are the King’s.

Re: “White Christmas”, give me the Drifters over Bing. (Interesting that so many classic Christmas songs were written by Jews.)

Some obscure holiday songs I recommend: “Run Run Rudolph” by Chuck Berry, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Four Seasons, “Monster Holiday” by Bobby Boris Pickett (that one always tears me up), and “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens. Super obscure but worth finding is “Lost Winter Dreams” by Lisa Mychols. And for the motherlode of bad taste fun, try to find Claudine Longet singing “Winter Wonderland”. Before she shot skier Spider Sabich in cold blood she and husband, Andy Williams, were the first couple of the season. Their annual family Christmas special was a must-see. They even have a kid named Noel.
Songs I can’t stand: “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney, and “the Little Drummer Boy” by anybody. Whey do stations overplay TO DEATH the songs that are the most repetitious? I seem to recall Paul Anka singing Christmas in Japan, which was like a drill to the head. Also, anything sung by kids usually makes me cringe.

I’m only sorry Kurt Cobain left us before he could give the world his Christmas album.

For a more vocal pop sound, you can’t beat Linda Eder’s holiday album. Her version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would bring a tear to a glass eye. Listen for it the next time you’re in an elevator. Streisand is great but there’s more ornamentation than on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Johnny Mathis is a little too sugar plum fairy for my tastes, and you can always count on “Mr. Peace and Goodwill to All Men”, Sinatra. The Carpenters have their fans too. And The Manhattan Transfer's acapella album is gorgeous.

But if I had to pick my all-time favorite Christmas song, the one that most expresses my feelings about the holiday season, it would have to be “The Christmas Song” by the Chipmunks. Sometimes the right song and the right performers just combine for sheer perfection.


This is a repost.  From July.

Okay, you can play Christmas music now

Hello from Hawaii. Now that we're only two weeks away from Christmas instead of the day after Labor Day, I think it's finally appropriate to play Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites and no-so-favorites. What are yours?

Personally, I get a warm feeling when I hear Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song”, which was written by Mel Torme. One Christmas night I saw him eating alone at Delores coffee shop. It was ironic but sad.

The Phil Spector Christmas album is still my favorite. Putting aside that he killed someone, we thank Phil for a real musical gift.

And Darlene Love's , "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" which is a recent parody of her own work on the album is maybe the funniest Christmas song ever.

I fancy the oldies. Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Bobby Helm’s “Jingle Bell Rock”, and the Beach Boys’ “Little St. Nick”.

The Boss’s Xmas ditty is pretty catchy as are the King’s.

Re: “White Christmas”, give me the Drifters over Bing. (Interesting that so many classic Christmas songs were written by Jews.)

Some obscure holiday songs I recommend: “Run Run Rudolph” by Chuck Berry, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Four Seasons, “Monster Holiday” by Bobby Boris Pickett (that one always tears me up), and “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens. Super obscure but worth finding is “Lost Winter Dreams” by Lisa Mychols. And for the motherlode of bad taste fun, try to find Claudine Longet singing “Winter Wonderland”. Before she shot skier Spider Sabich in cold blood she and husband, Andy Williams, were the first couple of the season. Their annual family Christmas special was a must-see. They even have a kid named Noel.
Songs I can’t stand: “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney, and “the Little Drummer Boy” by anybody. Whey do stations overplay TO DEATH the songs that are the most repetitious? I seem to recall Paul Anka singing Christmas in Japan, which was like a drill to the head. Also, anything sung by kids usually makes me cringe.

I’m only sorry Kurt Cobain left us before he could give the world his Christmas album.

For a more vocal pop sound, you can’t beat Linda Eder’s holiday album. Her version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would bring a tear to a glass eye. Listen for it the next time you’re in an elevator. Streisand is great but there’s more ornamentation than on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Johnny Mathis is a little too sugar plum fairy for my tastes, and you can always count on “Mr. Peace and Goodwill to All Men”, Sinatra. The Carpenters have their fans too. And The Manhattan Transfer's acapella album is gorgeous.

But if I had to pick my all-time favorite Christmas song, the one that most expresses my feelings about the holiday season, it would have to be “The Christmas Song” by the Chipmunks. Sometimes the right song and the right performers just combine for sheer perfection.

Hopefully I can get the strolling Hawaiian minstrels to sing it tonight at the bar.

I'm a guilty pleasure

Everybody is a critic goes hand in hand these days with Everybody has a podcast (or a blog). You can find critical analysis on just about everything, including, I’ve discovered, my own work.

There’s a website called THE NEXT REEL where two guys Siskel&Ebert their way through popular cinema. They are Pete Wright and Andy Nelson.

They’re currently doing a series called “Guilty Pleasures” where they select films not categorized as classics but they still really enjoy. Andy is up this week and selected VOLUNTEERS. Thanks, Andy… I think.

Because after he talks about how funny and enjoyable it was, he and his partner systematically tear the film apart. Makes me wonder what they do to movies they DIDN’T like.

My first reaction in listening was of course, “Who the fuck are these guys and what have they ever done?” But then I looked at the big picture. How very cool that something I co-wrote thirty years ago is still being discussed! There are plenty of movies from earlier this year that are forgotten and will never be heard from again. Thirty years is a long time. It’s half the shelf life of a Twinkie.

At that point I found the analysis entertaining. Some things I agree with and others I don’t. Being on the inside I had the advantage of knowing why certain creative decisions were made. I also have pet peeves with the film they didn’t seem bothered by. (Come on, guys. If you’re going to rip me, rip me for the right things.)

But overall, the discussion just made me more proud of the film, warts and all. Like I said, the fact that they even remembered it was a plus. And if comic material can still stand up and be funny after thirty years, that’s pretty satisfying. How many people are still laughing at FRATERNITY VACATION or REMO WILLIAMS: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS?

And our aim was more ambitious than most current studio raunch-fests. We had an actual story, social commentary, political overtones, and character development. We may not have succeeded in bringing it all together but I give us points for trying.

The hosts point to a Rotten Tomatoes survey to suggest that audiences didn’t care for the film. But in truth, VOLUNTEERS kicks ass whenever it’s shown on TV, and always has. You’ll generally find local stations airing it during sweeps because it consistently garners high ratings. HBO ran it again just recently. How many movies from 1985 does HBO show? So with all its faults, I’m happy to be associated with VOLUNTEERS. Oh, and I still get residuals.

I’m really looking forward to another podcast. TALK SALAD AND SCRAMBLED EGGS. Kevin Smith and his partner, Matt Mira, plan to discuss every FRASIER episode, two a week. Pretty soon they’ll get to our first Lilith episode.  And surprise surprise in this week's episode they talk about me and this blog.   They mispronounce my name but who gives a shit?  I made the Kevin Smith podcast. It starts 8 minutes in.  They don't mention VOLUNTEERS.  Too bad.  It would have been fun to compare critiques. 

My trip to St. Louis

Took a quick trip to St. Louis with the Dodgers this weekend. Long enough to eliminate the Cardinals and move on to the National League Championship Series. However, on the bus to the airport we passed the Edward Jones Dome – a gentle reminder that Los Angeles may have beaten the Red Birds but St. Louis still has our Rams.

St. Loo is famous of course for the Anheuser-Busch brewery. Although locals insist it’s not the same now that the Busch family has sold it to Germans. They claim the beer tastes different. I couldn’t tell but I did notice the Clydesdales goosestepping in a recent parade.

St. Louis in the fall is highly preferable to St. Louis in the spring when there are floods, the winter when there are blizzards, and the summer when it is so hot and humid it’s like living in Fidel Castro’s mouth. The leaves were beginning to change, there was a crispness in the air, and late day shadows from the Budweiser billboards blanketed much of the city.

The signature Gateway Arch stands tall and shimmers, still awaiting a companion arch so that the world’s first ten story McDonalds can open.

Nearby is the Citygarden with a giant statue of Pinocchio. Why I don’t know. Maybe it’s a monument to puppets… or liars.

St. Louis is the birthplace of Chuck Berry, owner of many hit and police records. It’s also the “Home of the Blues”. Several cities claim to be the “Home of the Blues” but so what? George Clooney has eighteen homes. Why can’t the Blues have six?

In nearby Hannibal Mark Twain was raised. For more information about Hannibal (and this is true, you can try it) call 1-TOM-AND-HUCK.

Sports and Budweiser are very big here (no matter how it tastes). And there are some great restaurant/sports bars. Mike Shannon’s, Stan Musial's, Jbuck's. Every major figure associated with the Cardinals other than Jose Oquendo has his own eat-and-drinkery. The pulled pork sandwich at Jbucks is delish.

I tried to get some of the players to join me for a day at Sophia M. Sach’s Butterfly House but they passed. To their credit, they could have lied and said they needed to prepare for the most important game of the season but instead they just said, “No fucking way, Mary!” It’s taken me two years to earn that kind of respect.

There are quite a few casinos on the Mississippi River. They used to be on riverboats. Now they’re inland as far as the airport. A lot of Dodger per diem is currently in their hands. Some of these casinos are open 24 hours…

… as is Steak & Shake. There must be a thousand of these in the area. I don’t know about you, but when I get a little hungry at 4 in the morning, nothing satisfies my craving like a good T-Bone and vanilla shake. Not a good place to meet Orthodox Jews however.

Saw an ad for Pulaski County that boasted “Home of Fort Leonard Wood”. This is an attraction??? An army base in the middle of the Ozarks, out where Snuffy Smith lives? Leonard Wood (known affectionately as “Little Korea” in the winter) is hailed in the ad as – "the Perfect Setting For a Family Getaway”. Yeah, maybe the Great Santini’s family.

One of these jaunts to the “Show Me State” I’ve got to get to Branson. This is the town where entertainers go to die. Theater after theater offer such acts as Andy Williams, Jim Stafford (his big hit “Spiders & Snakes” changed the face of popular music forever!), the great Yakov Smirnoff (his ad says “you’ll laugh your YAK OFF!”), Paul Revere & the Raiders (good luck getting into those red velvet suits you wore in 1966), Amazing Pets, the Country & Hobo Show, and a Neil Diamond tribute (“you’ll experience the feel of Neil Diamond”).

To the business at hand, the Dodgers were there to face the Cardinals in the National League Division Series. The winner becomes the champion of, well… nothing. But they get to go on to the next round. The Dodgers came in needing only one more win. They got a monumental break in the game last Thursday when the Cardinals were leading 2-1 with only one out to go and outfielder Matt Holliday botched an easy fly ball that ultimately led to two unearned Dodger runs and the win.

A big question was how were Cardinal fans going to receive Holliday during the player introductions? If he were a Phillie or a Yankee his house would be burned to the ground and his family would need to enter the Witness Protection Program. But Cardinal fans are among the very best in all sports. Energetic, knowledgeable, and infinitely supportive. Holliday received a standing ovation.

The Cards play in the new Busch Stadium, just a stone’s throw from the old Busch Stadium. It’s in a perfect downtown location, right near the former home of the Museum of Bowling (not enough people signed up for their ten week course on “how to score”) and the Tums factory. Beyond centerfield you can see the Arch and the Old Courthouse. Fans pack the park and all wear red. It’s quite a sight. Except in April and September when it’s freezing and June, July and August when it’s unbearably hot, I love going to baseball games in St. Louis.

No one will ever take the great Vin Scully’s chair but I at least got to sit in it for a few moments. I hosted pre and post game Dodger Talk from the spot Vin occupied. No joke – it’s one of the highlights of my life.

The Dodgers won and it was only fitting that along with the champagne, they poured Budweiser beer all over each other. And me. I walked back to the hotel smelling like Kiefer Sutherland at any given 2 a.m.

My heart kind of goes out to the fine folks of St. Louis. Winter is coming, their beloved Cardinals were eliminated, and Rush Limbaugh now wants to buy the Rams. Budweiser sales should really skyrocket this fall.

Okay, you can play Christmas music now

Now that we're only two weeks away from Christmas instead of the day after Labor Day, I think it's finally appropriate to play Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites and no-so-favorites. What are yours?

Personally, I get a warm feeling when I hear Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song”, which was written by Mel Torme. One Christmas night I saw him eating alone at Delores coffee shop. It was ironic but sad.

The Phil Spector Christmas album is still my favorite. Putting aside that he killed someone, we thank Phil for a real musical gift.

And Darlene Love's , "Christmas Time for the Jews" which is a recent parody of her own work on the album is maybe the funniest Christmas song ever.

I fancy the oldies. Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Bobby Helm’s “Jingle Bell Rock”, and the Beach Boys’ “Little St. Nick”.

The Boss’s Xmas ditty is pretty catchy as are the King’s.

Re: “White Christmas”, give me the Drifters over Bing. (Interesting that so many classic Christmas songs were written by Jews.)

Some obscure holiday songs I recommend: “Run Run Rudolph” by Chuck Berry, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Four Seasons, “Monster Holiday” by Bobby Boris Pickett (that one always tears me up), and “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens. Super obscure but worth finding is “Lost Winter Dreams” by Lisa Mychols. And for the motherlode of bad taste fun, try to find Claudine Longet singing “Winter Wonderland”. Before she shot skier Spider Sabich in cold blood she and husband, Andy Williams, were the first couple of the season. Their annual family Christmas special was a must-see. They even have a kid named Noel.
Songs I can’t stand: “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney, and “the Little Drummer Boy” by anybody. Whey do stations overplay TO DEATH the songs that are the most repetitious? I seem to recall Paul Anka singing Christmas in Japan, which was like a drill to the head. Also, anything sung by kids usually makes me cringe.

I’m only sorry Kurt Cobain left us before he could give the world his Christmas album.

For a more vocal pop sound, you can’t beat Linda Eder’s holiday album. Her version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would bring a tear to a glass eye. Listen for it the next time you’re in an elevator.  This year she recorded another Christmas album.  Worth getting too.  Streisand is great, but there’s more ornamentation than on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Johnny Mathis is a little too sugar plum fairy for my tastes, and you can always count on “Mr. Peace and Goodwill to All Men”, Sinatra. The Carpenters have their fans too. And The Manhattan Transfer's acapella album is gorgeous.   And of course there's Mariah.

But if I had to pick my all-time favorite Christmas song, the one that most expresses my feelings about the holiday season, it would have to be “The Christmas Song” by the Chipmunks. Sometimes the right song and the right performers just combine for sheer perfection.

Hopefully I can get the strolling Hawaiian minstrels to sing it tonight at the bar.

My thoughts on Robin Williams

I wonder what kind of tribute Robin Williams himself would want. I bet he’d want it to be funny. He’d say, “downplay the genius!  What would a funeral on Ork be like"? At this point he would riff, going off in fifteen different directions. Instead of grieving, Orkians would go door to door selling vacuum cleaners. They would recite the Lord’s Prayer in a Scottish accent. Mourners would sing the hits of Gary Lewis and the Playboys.

If Robin delivered his own eulogy he would do it as Kate Hepburn on helium posing as a rapper.

Yes, he won an Oscar but he’d remind you that CBS cancelled him while renewing THE MILLERS.

He’d launch into the auctioneer at his estate sale.

He’d say the title of this piece should be “Good Mourning, Viet Nam.”

He’d announce an upcoming wrestling match between himself and Andy Kaufman.

He’d report back that hell was having to sit through the Emmys. And then he would sing and dance a production number as Heidi Klum.

He would wow you with his fertile and facile mind and distract you from the intense feelings of sadness you felt for the loss of this truly original, truly brilliant comic genius.

He wouldn’t want you to dwell on the darkness he experienced; darkness so black and debilitating that it eventually engulfed him. He fought demons all his life – alcoholism, drug addiction, major depression, Fruit Punch Oreos (okay, he would want me to add that so there was at least one joke on the list) – but the laughter always won out.

Until yesterday.

Robin would turn this into a routine. He would mimic the ten best on-screen movie deaths, he would rattle off fifteen possible sayings for his headstone, he would say he’s making the ultimate sacrifice to boost People Magazine’s circulation.

But he’s not here. There’s no one to make us laugh in spite of our grief.

And so, with apologies to Robin, we remain in utter shock. We even cry. We mourn the loss of an irreplaceable talent, a force of nature, and I think more than that, we mourn the circumstances. No one should suffer such emotional pain and hopelessness. Especially one who has brought such joy to so many.

I knew Robin Williams. I was once in an improv class with him. I’ve written about it on this blog. There were even a couple of times I made him laugh. What I wouldn’t give if I could’ve saved just one of those laughs for yesterday.

Okay, this is where Robin would do ten minutes on walk off music.

DH in HD

Coincidental with the broadcast stations dropping their analog signals I finally got an HD-TV. What took me so long? It wasn’t the price, it was the weight. My previous TV was a huge Sony Trinitron that got as good a non-HD picture as you could get… and it weighed a fucking ton. Recently one of those big chain stores offered great prices, free delivery and installation, and here was the kicker – they would take away your old TV. I’d sell it or donate it but no one from the Jewish Council of Women was going to show up with a crane.

Buying one of these HD suckers introduced me to a whole new world of confusion. LCD vs. Plasma? Response time? 1081 or some other number? LCD vs. LED? Sony or Samsung or Fuzijurutakiaki? Number of pixels. Energy savers. How black are the blacks? Generic cables or Monster brand cables? 4’ or 6’ or 120’? Every time the sales person would explain something I’d nod and say, “but you’ll pick up the old TV, right?”

I finally settled on one, had to wait ten days for it to be promptly delivered. And they made the mistake of only sending two guys instead of ten. How heavy was that old Sony? The two installers looked like the burly delivery guys in the Miller Beer commercials. Just sliding the TV out of the cabinet and setting it on the ground almost gave both a hernia. But eventually they set up the new one and wheeled the old meteor out. There was nothing in the news about any freeway bridges collapsing so I guess they arrived at their final destination.

I was sooo thrilled to see it go.

Once I finally turned on the new one I couldn’t believe I lived this long without it. And for the last few days I’ve been watching anything that’s on as long it’s in HD. Give me a documentary on carbon dating with shots of the Muir Woods and I’m there! MLB-TV replayed game seven of the 2008 ALCS. I watched eight innings even though I knew who won. And was rooting for the other team.

It’s like when I was a kid and our family finally got a color TV. And by color I mean faces looked purple and everything else was bright green and red. But it was a revelation. For days we all just camped in front of that thing watching whatever was in color. I sat mesmerized at the Osmond family singing on the ANDY WILLIAMS SHOW. “Wow! Look at those blue sweaters they’re wearing! This is the greatest entertainment EVER!”

So it was with that mindset that I turned on HBO-HD a couple of nights ago to watch LIVE FREE: DIE HARD. I figured, this is going to be fun. I loved the original DIE HARD, it’s an action movie – okay Bruce Willis is too old for this by twenty years – but the visuals alone should be eye-popping enough to warrant my time.

WRONG!!

What an unbelievable piece of shit. Maybe the single stupidest action movie of all-time. Who knew you could hack into someone’s computer on-line and blow it up? And that’s just in the first ten minutes. The stunts were so off-the-charts absurd that a Road Runner cartoon was stark realism by comparison.

And then there’s Bruce. Superman in a suit of indestructible titanium armor couldn’t survive the falls and crashes and explosions that Bruce weathered with relative ease. Sure, he suffered a few minor bruises and his back stiffened the way it might if someone his age reached down to pick up a penny without flexing his knees first. Otherwise, he’s hitching a ride on a moving F-35, beating the shit out of a woman while in a truck suspended precariously in an elevator shaft, and flying a helicopter after maybe one lesson.

Television was an amazing invention; color television, a startling advance: and high-definition, an absolute wonder. But the technology has not been invented nor ever will that would make LIVE FREE: DIE HARD be worth sitting through. As I slogged through this mess I kept wondering, is there anything in the world that could kill Bruce in this movie? And then it hit me. Yes! My old TV could fall on him.

Suddenly I longed for that old Sony.

Okay, you can play Christmas music now

Hello from Hawaii. Now that it's only a week until Christmas and not the day after Labor Day I think it's finally appropriate to play Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites and no-so-favorites. What are yours?

I like Hawaiian holiday music. It's Christmas with a "K"...actually seven Ks, twelve As, and nine Es. Whodaguy Hawaii Radio will transport you to the land where dolphins replace reindeer and Santa Claus arrives on jet skies. Hear it here.

Personally, I get a warm feeling when I hear Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song”, which was written by Mel Torme. One Christmas night I saw him eating alone at Delores coffee shop. It was ironic but sad.

The Phil Spector Christmas album is still my favorite. Putting aside that he killed someone, we thank Phil for a real musical gift.

And Darlene Love's , "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" which is a recent parody of her own work on the album is maybe the funniest Christmas song ever.

I fancy the oldies. Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Bobby Helm’s “Jingle Bell Rock”, and the Beach Boys’ “Little St. Nick”.

The Boss’s Xmas ditty is pretty catchy as are the King’s.

Re: “White Christmas”, give me the Drifters over Bing. (Interesting that so many classic Christmas songs were written by Jews.)

Some obscure holiday songs I recommend: “Run Run Rudolph” by Chuck Berry, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Four Seasons, “Monster Holiday” by Bobby Boris Pickett (that one always tears me up), and “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens. Super obscure but worth finding is “Lost Winter Dreams” by Lisa Mychols. And for the motherlode of bad taste fun, try to find Claudine Longet singing “Winter Wonderland”. Before she shot skier Spider Sabich in cold blood she and husband, Andy Williams, were the first couple of the season. Their annual family Christmas special was a must-see. They even have a kid named Noel.
Songs I can’t stand: “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney, and “the Little Drummer Boy” by anybody. Whey do stations overplay TO DEATH the songs that are the most repetitious? I seem to recall Paul Anka singing Christmas in Japan, which was like a drill to the head. Also, anything sung by kids usually makes me cringe.

I’m only sorry Kurt Cobain left us before he could give the world his Christmas album.

For a more vocal pop sound, you can’t beat Linda Eder’s holiday album. Her version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would bring a tear to a glass eye. Listen for it the next time you’re in an elevator. Streisand is great but there’s more ornamentation than on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Johnny Mathis is a little too sugar plum fairy for my tastes, and you can always count on “Mr. Peace and Goodwill to All Men”, Sinatra. The Carpenters have their fans too. And The Manhattan Transfer's acapella album is gorgeous.

But if I had to pick my all-time favorite Christmas song, the one that most expresses my feelings about the holiday season, it would have to be “The Christmas Song” by the Chipmunks. Sometimes the right song and the right performers just combine for sheer perfection.

Hopefully I can get the strolling Hawaiian minstrels to sing it tonight at the bar.

RIP Charlie Hauck

 

So sorry to hear of the passing of comedy writer, Charlie Hauck.  He was 79.  One of the funniest people I knew.  

Here’s how I first met Charlie.  My partner, David Isaacs and I pitched him story ideas when he was the story editor of MAUDE.  He rejected us fifty times.  

In fairness, it was the show runners above him.  We’d bring in ten ideas.  He’d like two, send ‘em upstairs, they’d get rejected, and Charlie would ask us to come in with ten more.  I really liked him.  And if you can like someone who rejected you fifty times he has to be a pretty decent guy.  

We worked together on FRASIER and ENCORE ENCORE (the Nathan Lane sitcom).  Some comedy writers are loud and brash and desperately want to be Mel Brooks.  Charlie was soft-spoken, erudite, laid back, and funny, insightful, and deliciously sarcastic lines would come out of his mouth effortlessly.  If I had to pick one colleague who deserved a seat at the Algonquin Round Table it would be Charlie Hauck.  

And don’t take my word for it.  Charlie wrote a comic novel called ARTISTIC DIFFERENCES that is the best satire on the TV industry ever.  And I say that having also written a satire on the TV industry.  If you only have time to read one, read Charlie’s.  

Worth sharing: On one page of his book he explains how you can tell a bad sitcom.   Simple rules, worth repeating here.

Any show in which any character at any time during the life of the series says the words “Ta da!” is a bad sitcom.

Any show in which one character says to another, “What are friends for?” is a bad sitcom.

Any show in which a character says “Bingo!” in the sense of “Eureka!” is a bad sitcom.

Any show in which an actor or actress under the age of seven says cute things in close-up is a bad sitcom.

Any show in which an actor or actress over the age of seventy-five says vulgar things in close-up is a bad sitcom.

Any show that resorts to the use of Dr. Zarkov dialogue (named for the villain in the FLASH GORGON series, where one character tells another character something they both already know, for the benefit of the audience) is a bad sitcom.

Any show in which a character, in the closing minutes, says, “I guess we’ve all learned a lesson,” and then goes on to explain what that lesson is, is a bad sitcom.  

He’s also helped launch careers, including Michael Keaton’s.  

I will miss him always, but particularly this time of year.  Charlie used to send Christmas cards with his yearly “update.”  They were always spectacularly funny.  The two things I will miss about Christmas are the Andy Williams/Claudine Longet TV specials and Charlie’s annual card.  

If anyone’s reading this from the Great Beyond, do yourself a favor, invite Charlie Hauck to your next dinner party.  You can contact him at the Algonquin Round Table. 

Please give a warm welcome to Ted Nugent!

So when Ted Nugent performed at the Texas Governor’s Inaugural Ball with machine guns, a Confederate Flag T-shirt, and started shouting offensive remarks about people who don’t speak English, uh was this a surprise to anyone? This wasn’t John Davidson they hired. This was Ted Nugent, he of the biting live chickens on stage rumors.

Even if Mr. Nugent (or, as he’s also known, Sweaty Teddy, Deadly Tedly, Great Gonzos, and my personal favorite – Theodocious Atrocious) was told to just sing his big hits that would mean “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.” Imagine starting the ladies choice dance with that?

Were the Johnny Mann Singers just unavailable that night?

Had anybody in the party planning committee read any of Mr. Nugent’s quotes? Here are two of my faves:

Gun Control: “Only a coward supports gun control. You know how to stop carjacking? Shoot the carjacker. If someone is going to kill me for my Buick, I’m gonna shoot until I’m out of ammo – and then I’ll call 911.”

Feminists: What’s a feminist anyways? A fat pig who doesn’t get it often enough?”

Charming.

Andy Williams had a gig in Branson that night?

I still can’t get over it. Ted Nugent? At the Governor’s Ball? Author of “Kill It and Grill It”. Legal guardian of a 17 year old Hawaiian girl to avoid statutory charges. The man who got a draft deferment by reporting to his draft board with a week’s worth of excrement and urine in his pants (although I’m sure Texans would still have preferred he dressed for the ball like that than sport a Confederate flag). The only thing surprising to me is that THEY were surprised.

Amy Grant wanted too much money?

Personally, I find it hilarious. Mr. Nugent has said he’s considering running for Governor of Michigan in 2010. I bet even he’s smart enough not to hire himself to sing at the Inaugural Ball.

Oh no! Christmas songs again!

In every radio market at least one station scraps its regular programming to play all Christmas music. I wish it were the right wing talk station but alas it’s usually the New Wave or Celine Dion station. The ratings are always huge. I’m surprised some stations don’t keep the format on all year. But it brings up the question, which Christmas songs do you love and which do you hate?

Personally, I get a warm feeling when I hear Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song” for the first time each season. By the 50th, not so much. The Phil Spector Christmas album is still my favorite. Putting aside that he killed someone, we thank Phil for a real musical gift.

And Darlene Love's , "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" which is a recent parody of her own work on the album is maybe the funniest Christmas song ever.

I fancy the oldies. Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Bobby Helm’s “Jingle Bell Rock”, and the Beach Boys’ “Little St. Nick”.

The Boss’s Xmas ditty is pretty catchy as are the King’s.

Re: “White Christmas”, give me the Drifters over Bing. (Interesting that so many classic Christmas songs were written by Jews.)

Some obscure holiday songs I recommend: “Run Run Rudolph” by Chuck Berry, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Four Seasons, “Monster Holiday” by Bobby Boris Pickett (that one always tears me up), and “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens. Super obscure but worth finding is “Lost Winter Dreams” by Lisa Mychols. And for the motherlode of bad taste fun, try to find Claudine Longet singing “Winter Wonderland”. Before she shot skier Spider Sabich in cold blood she and husband, Andy Williams, were the first couple of the season. Their annual family Christmas special was a must-see. They even have a kid named Noel.
Songs I can’t stand: “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney, and “the Little Drummer Boy” by anybody. Whey do stations overplay TO DEATH the songs that are the most repetitious? Also, anything sung by kids usually makes me cringe.

I’m only sorry Kurt Cobain left us before he could give the world his Christmas album.

For a more vocal pop sound, you can’t beat Linda Eder’s holiday album. Her version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would bring a tear to a glass eye. Listen for it the next time you’re in an elevator. Streisand is great but there’s more ornamentation than on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Johnny Mathis is a little too sugar plum fairy for my tastes, and you can always count on “Mr. Peace and Goodwill to All Men”, Sinatra. The Carpenters have their fans too. Best new CD: The Manhattan Transfer just released an Acapella album that is gorgeous.

But if I had to pick my all-time favorite Christmas song, the one that most expresses my feelings about the holiday season, it would have to be “The Christmas Song” by the Chipmunks. Sometimes the right song and the right performers just combine for sheer perfection.

What songs do you love or loathe?

A Golden Age of LA Comedy

Here’s a Friday Question that became an entire post because I drifted into nostalgia and just kept writing and writing. So stagger down comedy memory lane with me.

BA wonders:

I saw a bowdlerized version of the NatLamp documentary on the History Channel and I thought there was a lot of comedy talent on the East Coast. What was your experience as a DJ with West Coast counterparts like The Credibility Gap, the Committee, and the Ace Trucking Company? I know there's a few alumni out there like Shearer/McKean, Howard Hesseman and Fred Willard.

I remember going to see THE COMMITTEE numerous times at the old Tiffany Theatre on Sunset in the late ‘60s/early ‘70s. Howard Hesseman, Gary Goodrow, Valerie Curtain, Richard Stahl, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Bonerz, and if memory serves, Rob Reiner (although don’t hold me to that) were among the performers. I recall Valerie distinctly because I had a crush on her.

THE COMMITTEE came down from San Francisco as did OFF THE WALL (pictured above), founded by Dee Marcus. That’s how I got involved in improv. I joined one of Dee’s workshops in 1979. That group featured many brilliant performers including Andy Goldberg, Paul Willson, Wendy Cutler, Robin Williams, Bernadette Birkett, Tom Tully, Harry Murphy, and Chris Thompson. I never performed in an actual OFF THE WALL show for one very good reason – I sucked compared to all of them.

Around the same time, a group from Minneapolis hit town with FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK. Michael McManus, Doris Hess, John Bates, Nancy Steen, Pat Proft, and Neil Thompson were among their standouts. I apologize if I’m leaving out any names.

And performing in a small theatre in Hollywood was THE WAR BABIES. Archie Hahn, Renny Temple, Mary Edith Burrell, Caren Kaye, Susan Krebs, John Welsh, Peter Riegert, and Marsha Myers were members of that great group.  I must've seen them at least twenty times. 

But the biggest local improv factory was clearly THE GROUNDLINGS. Their roster of stars is too long to list. But just a small sample off the top of my head: Phil Hartman, George McGrath, Lorraine Newman, Lynne Stewart, John Paragon, Jon Lovitz, Edie McClurg, Mary Cross, Robin Schiff, Kip King, David Ruprecht, Craig T. Nelson, Will Ferrell, Paul Reubens, Bill & Cheri Steinkellner, Cynthia Szigeti, Cassandra Peterson (Elvira), Phyllis Katz, Wendy Goldman, and that’s all in the ‘70s and ‘80s. They have a long roster after that. THE GROUNDLINGS was a feeding station for SNL (and probably still is). 

Many of these performers moved around and were in multiple groups. Although I was never in THE GROUNDLINGS I worked with just about everybody I listed. Same with FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK and WAR BABIES.

For awhile I was in a performing group called THE SUNDAY FUNNIES, featuring a lot of the names I already listed.  There were times there were more people on stage than in the audience.  I think we lasted six months.  

Around St. Patrick’s Day, Tom Tully always had a party at his apartment and EVERY improv performer in town would attend. We were just packed in. You can imagine the laughs. And amount of alcohol consumed. It’s the only time I didn’t mind being in a room where fifty people were funnier than me.

The ‘70s was a golden age for comedy in Los Angeles. That’s just the improv scene.

There was also the stand-up world. I lived near the Comedy Store on Sunset in the mid-70’s and it was not unusual on a Tuesday night to just pop in, grab a drink for a few bucks, and see Richard Pryor, who would appear unannounced to just try out material. A typical Saturday night line-up might include David Letterman, Jay Leno, Al Franken & Tom Davis, Elayne Boosler, Andy Kaufman, and Crazy Charlie Fleisher (among many others) all on the same bill.

For TV we had ALL IN THE FAMILY, MASH, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, THE BOB NEWHART SHOW, MAUDE, RHODA, and THE ODD COUPLE. Starting mid-‘70s SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE exploded onto the scene, followed shortly by SCTV.

For movies we had Woody Allen (when he was still trying to be funny) and Mel Brooks.

And for radio, LA was blessed with Lohman & Barkley, Robert W. Morgan, Hudson & Landry, Gary Owens, the aforementioned CREDIBILITY GAP, and Sweet Dick Whittington.  

Fortunately, I didn’t take all the drugs they do on VINYL so I was able to appreciate it all at the time.