Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Celebrity blogs

Among the other 27,000,000 blogs I have to compete with are a number of “Celebrity” blogs. Of those, very few are actually written by the celebrities themselves, updated more than twice since the Pleistocene Era, or feature anything other than PR pap. There are exceptions. Kevin Smith’s blog is the real deal, wonderfully candid and funny. And a few like Dave Barry’s are worth your attention.

But William Shatner’s blog? Here are a few of his entries:

July 06 -- I’m thrilled to pieces about being nominated for the third time. (referring to his Emmy nomination)

June 30 – My new Priceline commercial is appearing on line before it appears on TV.

January 20 – As some of you may have heard by now, Goldenpalace.com has bought a kidney stone of mine for $75,000.

*******

Melanie Griffiths’s website is just plain creepy. It chronicles her romance and rehab, accompanied by music that Norma Desmond would find too over-the-top. She also writes letters to her inner self. Many not delivered because no one’s home.

Latest entry in Gwen Stefani’s journal: “We're back. Sorry it has been so long. We'll start updating the site more often.” It’s dated May 2.

From Pamela Anderson comes this: “I don't know if you all have heard.....if you've been watching the news you probably have.....but I'm a big supporter of PETA.”

If you go to Barbra Streisand’s blog it tells you how to order her latest TV special. In fairness, Bab’s website also has statement essays that are pompous enough to suggest they’re really from her. The picture on her home page pre-dates the creation of the internet.

Asia Carrere used to be a hot porn star. Here’s a recent entry in her journal: “The day started out so crappy but ended up okay. I took Cathy swimming at the lake, where we met a nice mommy with a son the same age as Cathy.” (It gets boring after that but picks up later with) – “When I got home my next door neighbor offered to mow my lawn.” Excuse me, Asia, but I want to know your views on our nation’s morality and butt plugs!

Al Roker’s journal is mostly pictures of Al and celebrities he ambushed while they appeared on the TODAY SHOW.

Rosie O’Donnell’s offers her poetry. GAAAA!

*******

I love celebrity blogs. I find it hilarious that they could post such items and actually think people care. Maybe instead of writing a blog they should perhaps, even just once, READ a blog.

And my inner self agrees.

19 comments:

Mary Stella said...

I love celebrity blogs. I find it hilarious that they could post such items and actually think people care. Maybe instead of writing a blog they should perhaps, even just once, READ a blog.

On the other hand, those of us who are mid-list authors and, therefore, absolute nobodies by comparison, can take heart that on any given day we can outblog Pamela Anderson. *G*

Tom Quigley said...

Maybe they feel safer blogging and writing the things they do (or not writing about the things we think they should be) on the web because fortunately for them, when we read their drivvel, in Cyberspace no one can hear you scream...

Tori Lennox said...

I'm with Mary Stella! *g*

I love Dave Barry's blog. :)

Stephen Gallagher said...

They probably regard blogging the way that Noel Coward saw television -- not for watching, but for appearing on.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

I was going to correct you when you misspelled Asia Carrera's last name but as soon as that thought entered my head, I finally understood what that lady on the subway meant when she said I was, "...creeping her out."

--Tenspeed

Jay said...

In Asia's defense, he husband was killed in a car wreck about a month ago. I don't know if she's had her 2nd child yet or not.

But, basically, yes. Celeb blogs suck with rare exceptions.

Have you read Ken Jennings' blog/site?

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

"In Asia's defense, he husband was killed in a car wreck about a month ago. I don't know if she's had her 2nd child yet or not."

Congratulations.

You've just made porn depressing.

--Tenspeed

The Curmudgeon said...

I loved the punchline.

And so did my inner self.

Scribe LA said...

Hey Ken,
Interesting take on what really a celeb blog is supposed to do: drive publicity in a way where fans aren't supposed to think they are being sold a bill of goods about a particular celeb.
One caveat that I know of at the moment: Zach Braff's blog. Not updated all that often, but often enough, and usually with enough new material to satisfy until the next update.
Scribe

Scribe LA said...

Hey Ken,
Interesting take on what really a celeb blog is supposed to do: drive publicity in a way where fans aren't supposed to think they are being sold a bill of goods about a particular celeb.
One caveat that I know of at the moment: Zach Braff's blog. Not updated all that often, but often enough, and usually with enough new material to satisfy until the next update.
Scribe

Tom Dougherty said...

I am in no way a Rosie O'Donnell booster, but her poetry is hysterical, and a good reason to check in every once in awhile.

Oh- UNINTENTIONALLY hysterical, I should add. Woman gives me the heebie jeebies.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Tom:

If you want HYSTERICAL and ROSIE O'DONNELL in moving picture form, go no further than Riding The Bus With My Sister. Easily the most ridiculous portrayal of a retarded person since Giovanni Ribisi in...well, every movie he's ever made.

I've never read Zach Braff's blog but I'm sure it reads something like:

I'm dating Mandy Moore!

We broke up.

Now I'm dating Natalie Portman!

We broke up. I wonder what Hilary Duff is up to?

Cage Free Brown said...

I.m.fine
thanks
how r things with u?

wendell said...

I have a sub-category in my bookmarks for "Celeblogs", although many of them (I'm lookin' at you, Levine) are not nearly as famous as I wish they were...
April Winchell
Dave Barry
Mark Evanier (from whom I learned of your blog's existance)
Ken Jennings
Does Wil Wheaton count as a non-web celeb?
Kent Shocknek (yeah, I know, TV anchormanequin, but he comes up with something interesting every couple weeks)
Adam Felber/Chris Regan/Mo Rocca (doing web-based satire... the next big thing)
John Scalzi (writer of trivia books who has become an emerging writer of sci-fi)
...at which point my concept of celebrity gets really fuzzy...

LTM said...

“When I got home my next door neighbor offered to mow my lawn.”

Take heart... that coulda been a euphamism for something else.

Also, check out pauleyp.com and click on the journal link. Celebrity blog stream of consiousness.

Hollywood blond said...

April Winchell has an excellent site. And her own radio show to go along with it? Long overdue.

Wil Wheaton... I checked in a few times on that one. Very weird. Infrequent updates, not the most scintillating prose and pictures of In-N-Out lunches. Possibly another visit is in order, because I missed the magic.

And as much as I disagree with Rosie's politics, some of her short-form urban 'jot 'n run' poetry is really interesting. It's totally informal. But I learn a lot when I read her. Her blogging style is pretty unique.

Anonymous said...

I know this is a little late, but I just discovered this blog. Well done, Mr. Levine. Your blogs are very interesting and informative. There is one celebrity blog that I find absolutely hilarious and well written. It is done by a Canadian named Gary Jones who appears on Stargate SG-1 on the Sci-Fi channel every Friday night. You can check it out at: http://www.gateworld.net/blogs/jones/ Gary is so funny, he should be the star of his own show. If you haven't heard of him, you really should look him up. He is really inspiring.

Patricia Stewart

Stalker Liaison Officer said...

Just thought I'd say a warm thank you to every stalker who has plagued the lives of the rich and famous, day and night, winter and summer, and twice on Tuesdays. Your bittersweet obsessions are much appreciated, but they would be appreciated far more, if you switched your attention from pop stars to wacko theatre writers and performers based in the North of England. Komedy Kollective Theatre, for instance, are crying out for some stalkers to follow them whenever they meet their fans. If anybody would like to become a Komedy Kollective Theatre Company stalker, please wear a fully-loaded tulip in your collar, a sinister gimp mask, and threaten us with menacing adult toys with those weird "cactusy" side arm things, just for kicks.

Good night, and thank you, fiends everywhere......

Anonymous said...

And do you have a list of celebrity websites? I'd like to see it. Thanks.