Thursday, September 07, 2006

The best of Rat Girl

I’m frequently asked what are my favorite scenes from CHEERS episodes my partner and I wrote? Here’s one. It’s the last scene of “Rat Girl”. Lilith had kept her dead lab rat in her purse. This, surprisingly, has caused an argument between her and Frasier. Below is their reconciliation. Sometimes you don’t have to joke up a scene. It’s okay to let characters have a real moment. Of course it helps if you do button it with a joke, especially if you’re lucky enough to have Kelsey Grammer deliver it.

**********

INT. BAR – DAY

LILITH ENTERS AND CROSSES TO FRASIER.

LILITH
Frasier, I owe you an apology. I haven’t been myself the past couple of days.

FRASIER
No, my dear, I trivialized your grief. A husband should be more understanding. Just help me, help me, meet me halfway. Why were you carrying a moribund rodent in your evening bag?

LILITH
I wasn’t planning to take him on our date. But I knew that if I left him at the clinic they’d have given him to the undergraduates to dissect. I couldn’t let that happen to Whitey. I just wanted to give him a decent burial.

FRASIER
I’m sorry. How could I have been so insensitive?

LILITH
Of course I overreacted, but I think I know why: I was confronted for the first time with the death of someone close to me.

FRASIER
I understand, dear. It’s what we call a crisis.

LILITH
I know what we call it, Frasier. (THEN) The upshot is, I’ve never been so acutely aware of how precious and fragile life is for each of us.

LILITH
Lilith, I think everyone would agree that existence is tenuous at best. Therefore, all we can do is embrace life. And you and I, we’re very fortunate. We have a baby. The very symbol of life reborn.

LILITH
Frasier, he’s no longer a baby. He’ll be going to school this September.

FRASIER
Yes, if we can successfully negotiate a pre-school interview without being cuffed and printed. (THEN) But you’re right, Frederick is getting older. You know, Lilith, there is a way we could renew ourselves yet again.

LILITH
How would we do that?

FRASIER
We could have another child.

LILITH
We could, couldn’t we? That’s a wonderful idea! Oh, Frasier, suddenly I’m filled with a glow. Let’s start right now.

LILITH HEADS FOR THE DOOR, FRASIER FOLLOWING. LILITH EXITS. FRASIER TURNS BACK FOR A MOMENT TO REFLECT.

FRASIER
It’s all so strange. A relatively insignificant creatures lives and dies. A marriage is jeopardized. A child’s education is almost destroyed. And yet, somehow, some way… I’m getting some action out of it!

AS FRASIER EXITS WE CUT TO BLACK.

8 comments :

Anonymous said...

This was a fantastic scene (but anything with Lilith in it always is, to me). And now I have to know: Were you also responsible for any of the Frasier episode wherein Frasier and Niles think they are reading their mother's diary entries about them as children, when she was actually writing about her lab rats, also called Frasier and Niles?

Anonymous said...

I always loved how you guys could write Frasier and Lilith's interplay with each other and the other characters at such a level of intellectual detachment, and then bring them back down to earth by having them say or do something so basically human in a way that always killed me.

Reminds me of the scene in CHEERS where Frasier is taken to the first hockey game he's ever seen in his life and, caught up in the atmosphere of being there, becomes involved in a brawl. He shows up at the bar later to announce (something like) "Dr. Frasier Crane, author of of 39 scholarly papers, holder of two academic chairs... is out on bail."

Anonymous said...

Ken --

Please let me know if I am losing my mind (feel free to say that I am), but didn't the line: Yes, if we can successfully negotiate a pre-school interview without being cuffed and printed air as Yes, if we can successfully negotiate a pre-school interview without degenerating into a scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

I seem to have a distinct memory of explaining the reference to my husband and, subsequently, using it when we were on our traditional New York round of school interviews.

Or am I now hallucinating Cheers dialogue in addition to my usual hallucinations?

Julie O'Hora said...

My favorite comedic moments are real and human.

I love gags and slapstick, but comedy that makes me feel something along with the laugh resonates a lot longer.

Which would explain the longevity of shows like CHEERS and M*A*S*H (and leave me scratching my head about ACCORDING TO JIM...)

Anonymous said...

I have a question about script formatting from this example. What are you trying to convey by the use of (THEN) between the dialogue. Is it the same as (BEAT)?

Also, I was reading Script formatting on the Oscars website, and they strictly frown on doing stage direction in all caps, but that seems to be your prefered format, does TV take a different approach to stage direction?
http://www.oscars.org/nicholl/format.html

Cybele said...

alina - you're not crazy, that's what the airing script says.

By Ken Levine said...

Alina,

I believe you're right and that line was changed, I believe on the stage.

Becky,

Much as I'd love to take credit for it, I was not responsible for that Frasier-Niles run. But...

Tom,

David and I did write the CHEERS episode where Frasier went to his first hockey game. I remember we had fun making up all the fellowships and prestigeous background Frasier had.

Anonymous said...

That scene took on a whole new meaning for me since I actually started keeping lab mice. Mine are green and fluorescent... the possible gags are endless (and mostly disturbing).