Monday, November 13, 2006

More Holiday Movies Preview

Here’s the conclusion of my Holiday Movie Preview. If you haven't read the first part it's the post below.
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CHARLOTTE’S WEB – Version number twelve. This one is live action with Julia Roberts, Thomas Hayden Church..and I never thought those two names would ever appear in the same sentence. I look forward to revival theatres playing this on the same bill as Roberts’ “The Closer”.

DREAMGIRLS – The ads and trailers would lead you to believe this is a big deal event. Based on the Tony winning musical about a Supremes-like group. I’d give a nickel for everyone under 25 who’s even heard of the Supremes.

THE GOOD SHEPHERD – Matt Damon as one of the first CIA recruits in this Robert DeNiro directed Cold War drama. Teens love the Cold War so it should do boffo.

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM – The exhibits of the Museum of Natural History come to life at night during Ben Stiller’s guard duty. Cautionary tale on drug use.

ROCKY BALBOA – Dear God, why?????

BLACK CHRISTMAS – Slasher film with a holiday theme. Those aren’t toys in Santa’s sack, Virginia.

NOTES ON A SCANDAL – Cate Blanchett as a London teacher who has an affair with one of her students. He breaks it off upon realizing he would have gotten an A anyway.

MISS POTTER – Rene Zellweger as author Beatrix Potter who has an affair with her editor. She breaks it off upon learning he would have published Peter Rabbit anyway.

PERFUME
– “Eating Raoul” but with perfume. People walking around literally wearing “Scent of a Woman”.

FACTORY GIRL – 60’s “it” girl Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol. “Capote” but groovier.

THE DEAD GIRL – Certainly the catchiest title of the holiday season. Not to be confused with DREAMGIRLS. Brittany Murphy stars as the corpse.

CHILDREN OF MAN – Sci Fi yarn has Clive Owen protecting Julianne Moore who is the only pregnant woman on the planet. Rod Stewart of course is the father.

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See ya at the movies.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wait, how is Beatrix related to Harry Potter? Do you think the confusion factor will lure in unsuspecting patrons??

Some Guy said...

Ken:

You really know how to sale a movie season. It's a wonder the studios haven't turned to you to write ad copy for all their movies. I can almost imagine Don LaFontaine reading your words now.

Incidentally, did you (or anyone of your devoted readers) see Stranger Than Fiction? I'm not generally a Will Farell fan but 'Fiction' looks like an interesting premise if they can pull it off. And for my taste Farell is most likable when he is playing the earnest doofus, as he did to good effect in Elf.

Thanks for the rundown. Now I know what I don't want to see.

Don LaFontaine

Ger Apeldoorn said...

I went and had a look at the trailer of Stranger Than Fiction. In fact, this post prompted me to look at a lot of trailers, wich was Nice. But anyway, Stranger Than Fiction looked potentionally funny and smart and weird... but somehow it also tried to hard and it looked like they used up all their jokes in it. So I am curious how it turns out.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Ken:

I love your movie guides!

I'll even excuse you for getting the plot line wrong for Children of Men.

Herb Popsfarter said...

Black Christmas is a remake of a 1970's flick. I remember my friend's older sister snuck us into the drive-in when I was 11. Scared me stupid. (been that way ever since) Ironically, I see both versions star Andrea Martin. I hope she wears leopard skin. - That would be funny.

Tom Quigley said...

Ken, you forgot about BOBBY, the movie that will finally answer the question "Can Emilio Estevez ever become as big a left-wing liberal as his old man is?"....

Paul Duca said...

Tenspeed...that is the same synopsis ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY gives for "Children of Men".

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Paul:

Julianne Moore isn't the pregnant one.

Joseph said...

Stranger Than Fiction starts off well, but by the middle it’s just a romantic comedy and a predictable one at that. The jokes stop about half way through. And I had heard that Farell’s performance was supposed to be wonderful (an perhaps even worthy of an Oscar nomination) but it’s nothing special. He was better in Elf. Overall Stranger Than Fiction isn’t terrible, however, I do wish that I had waited for DVD.

Seymour said...

Conspicuous by their absences from your postings are CASINO ROYALE & FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, ironically, the only movies this season that I am looking forward to seeing.

Ken Levine said...

Those were included in my Fall Movie Preview from late August or early September.

Mr. McBastard said...

Where's my nickel?

Seymour said...

Sorry. I'll check the back post.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it "Closer", with "The Closer" being that Kyra Sedgwick show on cable. Right?