Thursday, November 16, 2006

Random Ax

Wow. I’m BLOWN AWAY by all the nice comments from yesterday. Thank you all. I'd much rather tell all these stories to you than the grizzled comedy writers who commandeer the back booths at Nate N' Al's. So thanks again...and on to year two.

From last Sunday’s LA Times CALENDAR SECTION. Page E3, a teaser for an article that says: “Shawnee Smith gets to stretch her range in her latest flick – SAW III.” I doubt if Shawnee would find that insulting since in the article itself she considers the SAW series as her “coming out” as an actress.

Hormel Meats, the fine folks who make Spam are upset that the word is used to describe junk email. They believe it’s derogatory to their most excellent product of chopped pork shoulder meat, salt, water, sugar, and Sodium Nitrite.

Neil Patrick Harris is gay??? No????

Carrie Fisher has a one-woman show at the Geffen Theatre in LA. It’s worth seeing. She discusses her rather colorful life. It’s called WISHFUL DRINKING but could easily be renamed WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU FUNNIER. And more good news: The Princess Leia wig still works on her.

Times are a’changin’: ESPN’s Monday Night Football occasionally out rates NBC’s Sunday Night Football. A cable station kicks a major network’s ass. Of course NBC does ESPN a favor by counter-programming with STUDIO 60. (Was this Monday night’s episode the worst??? Sorkin is turning into Captain Queeg.)

Plans are underway for a SEX AND THE CITY movie. Film it fast! In another minute it’ll be MENAPAUSE AND THE CITY.

When Justin Timberlake is a big pop star it’s time to coax the Hanson Brothers out of retirement.

The Boston Red Sox have a national fan base. So the term “Red Sox Nation” makes sense. But now the L.A. Clippers have adopted the term. “Clipper Nation”?? They’re not even the most popular basketball team in Los Angeles. In fact, they’re not even number two. UCLA has that honor. Instead of “Clipper Nation” it should be “Clipper Senior Quad”.

Speaking of the Bosox, after a brief hiatus my son has resumed his highly entertaining Red Sox blog, Dirty Watah. Check it out. But don't mention the "Clipper Nation" thing. It'll really piss him off.

Nine -- count 'em, NINE Christopher Walken impersonators perform at the Paul Gleason Theater in Hollywood every Monday night through December 18th. But what separates the men from the boys? The ones who can dance on walls.

When you think of great movie moguls, you naturally think of Louis B. Mayer, Irving Thalberg, Jack Warner, Darryl Zanuck, Harry Cohn, and Tom Cruise.

I’m still waiting for my invitation to his big wedding. It’ll be aboard the Scientology luxury yacht, SHIP OF FOOLS 2.

Al-Jazecra, the Arab news network launches an English language channel this month. More competition for CW.

New York Yankees Public Address Announcer, Bob Shepherd is 96. He had been lying about his age, saying he was only 90 I assume so he could still get chicks. No one has ever introduced a player better. Hearing him call your name is like Hirschfeld doing a caricature of you. I hope he’s behind the mic for another 96 years.

Will somebody tell ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY that in their SOUND BITES feature, it’s not the actors who come up with these nifty quotes, it’s WRITERS. Have any of you ever heard Teri Hatcher speak??

VARIETY has a new feature: “The Knife”, clueing you to where celebrities dine. Allow me to do the same. Spotted at the Gardens on Glendon in Westwood: Art Linkletter. Otherwise known as Bob Shepherd’s wingman.

25 comments:

Diane said...

Bostonians fleeing their city for warmer climes does not equate to the Red Sox having a national fan base. Neither does giving tickets to Ben Affleck to attend your games at every stadium in the country.

Ger Apeldoorn said...

Re: Neil Patrick Harris. Let's look at his roles backwards. He plays a womanhating womanizer on How I Met Your Mother, a prissy book editor on Stark Raving Mad, a 'reformed' gay guy on Will and Grace and a not romatically involved doctor on Dougy Houser... hmmm. Or he could be just one of the best comedy actors around.

Grubber said...

"Nine -- count 'em, NINE Christopher Walken impersonators perform at the Paul Gleason Theater in Hollywood every Monday night through December 18th. But what separates the men from the boys?" Thought there was going to be a reference to watches and live performance. Happy one year anniversary Ken. Missed it yesterday, work seems to be getting in the way of important things lately.
cheers
Dave

Spencer said...

Maybe it was just me, but was the plot of this week's Studio 60 barely coherent? Either that or Justice Glenallen Walken has some sort of Sherlock Holmesian ability to pick on the insignificant detail and extract the entire narrative from that.

Flimsy wouldn't have even done it justice.

GARY said...

"Studio 60 on Sunset Strip?"
SHOOT THAT RABID PUPPY...

Tom Quigley said...

I was in a made for TV Christmas movie back in 1998 starring Debbie Reynolds, Neil Patrick Harris, and Naomi Watts as his love interest (go figure!) called "The Christmas Wish"... Reports are that now a new title is being considered for the film... Frontrunners include "The Christmas Swish," "The Other-Way Holiday," and of course, the old standby "Don We Now our Gay Apparel".... But it'll always be just "A Very Doogie Christmas" to me....

Joshua James said...

Ken!

I missed the big chime in yesterday, but you know I got nothing but love for you and your blog, sir, nothing but love . . .

Joshua James, Daily Dojo, aspiring writer.

You hit year one, congratulations, I've been with you that whole year, but the first post onward.

In a week, my blog hits two . . .

Steven said...

Hearing Bob Shepherd pronounce Henry Cotto's name back in the mid-80s was always a pleasure. The C and the two t's were hard enough to cut glass.

EditThis said...

Wow that's a lot of information for one blog. Pace yourself, or you may not make another year.

I actually thought the "Clipper Nation" thing was just thought up by Dave on KROQ when he made up the theme song. I seriously didn't think a "Clipper Nation" actually existed.

Anonymous said...

I realize you don't like Studio 60, but what I don't get is why you're still watching it 8 weeks in if you don't like it. Personally I'm a big Sorkin fan and while I know Sorkin is capable of better, I think the show has improved and will continue to improve until the end of the season when they cancel it. It's still better than 80% of the rest of what's on.
-Jack

Slubgob said...

Missed all the comments yesterday, but I wanted to add my praise for this blog. It's fun reading.

On another note, just watched a repeat of "The Ice Woman Cometh" this morning. One of my favorite two episodes of Frasier - very funny episode. It makes me laugh every time I see it.

Incidentally, the other is "The Ski Lodge," which played just before it.

Tom Dougherty said...

I was excited about Studio 60, but I guess I thought that weird, unnatural way the West Wing characters spoke was unique to that project, and was more of a situational thing, since the fate of the country was usually at stake to one degree or another. Studio 60 having that same voice and tone doesn't work for me at all. It's only a matter of time- it'll either get better and get an audience or it'll be sent to the farm upstate like my old dog Rusty.

floretbroccoli said...

"Leo B. Mayer"

Is he Louis B. Mayer's brother?

The Curmudgeon said...

Art Linkletter is still ALIVE?

Mr. Levine, you say the darndest things....

Danny-K said...

The naming of unwanted emails as SPAM is an intriguing point.

We, the people,(notice I didn't say 'end-users'), had no say in the matter. By the time computers were made fit for human consumption the computer nerds had named everything. And as everyone went on a steep learning curve, (moving up from a calculator), we slavishly followed the 'windows' and 'hard copies'. I mean, once we had all learnt enough to get by, the nerds got stuck at 'floppy disks'. Would we EVER have called a floppy disk a floppy disk? That's why the nerds have failed to find a daft name for CD disks and failed again when DVD disks came out. They know, we know, what they're yapping on about, and up with the baby-talk we will not put! Let the meat companies reclaim their Spam.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Thank you for SHIP OF FOOLS 2. Truer words were never spoken. And isn't it ironic that the first threee letters of my word verification code are WOG, the name L. Ron Fatfraud calls non-cultists.

Dhppy said...

"What doesn't kill you makes you funnier". I like it.

RE Sorkin and Studio 60: It must be nice to have fans so loyal that they'll stand behind you no matter what you serve them. I aspire to that level of abuse.

Seymour said...

Curmudge,
Yup, Art Linkletter is still alive. I saw him with my own eyes attending one of Dame Edna's stage shows in Los Angeles, walking without help, and looking older than the pyramids. Apparently he wanted to hear someone who really does say the darndest things. What's scary is that many of the kids who said those darn things on "House Party" have since died of extreme old age, but Art soldiers on.
Check out the 1950 movie "Champagne For Cesar" with Ronald Coleman, a very funny comedy about a game show which includes a wonderful comedy performance from Vincent Price as the Quiz show's greedy sponsor. Art of course plays the game show host, but in the most unlikely bit of casting ever, he becomes the secondary love interest, romancing Coleman's sister and marrying her at the end. It was Art's ONLY performance as a romantic lead. Art had (still has) all the romantic/sexual heat of cold spaghetti.

VP19 said...

I recall being at a M's-Yanks game at the Stadium in the early nineties when Seattle had both Griffeys...it was a gas hearing Bob Sheppard giving the batting order, referring to "Ken Griffey Senior" and "Ken Griffey Junior," giving it that unique Sheppard twist.

doggans said...

//Hormel Meats, the fine folks who make Spam are upset that the word is used to describe junk email. They believe it’s derogatory to their most excellent product of chopped pork shoulder meat, salt, water, sugar, and Sodium Nitrite.//

To be fair, it's their own fault for inspiring such a classic Python sketch.

Slubgob said...

Whoops. I meant the Frasier episode entitled "Room Service." I guess "The Ice Woman Cometh" was just one of the title cards.

My mistake.

Still, fantastic episode. Thanks for the laughs.

Herb Popsfarter said...

“Clipper Senior Quad” Haaaaha! Genius!

Baldini said...

hey, the whole "Red Sox nation" thing was blatantly ripped off of the St. Louis Cardinals. It was "Cardinal Nation" for years before anyone began to use it about Boston. A clear channel 50,000 watt behemoth like KMOX actually MADE it a Cardinal Nation. More listeners to one station, in more places around the country, than anyone else dreamt about.

J Lee said...

Al Jazera's highest profile announcer for its new English language broadcast, former ABC newsman Dave Marish, shared a bit of a side hobby with you Ken -- he was a subsitute announcer for Marv Albert on New York Knicks and Rangers games back on WNBC in the early 1970s (and if you think hockey is a chellenging game to watch at the Staples Center, you should have heard Marish try to do play-by-play of it in Chicago Stadium. Putting a happy face on Al Jazera should be a breeze compared to that...)

Kate COe said...

What I love about Spam, is that on G-mail, whenever I delete something as Spam, I get a little Google Ad with a recipe.