Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Summer Movies Preview 2

Continuing our look at the movies that'll be clogging your cineplex very soon: 

MAGIC MIKE – Channing Tatum reprieves his real-life role as a male stripper. My guess is more straight males will go see TITANIC 3D than this summer tent “pole” movie.

SAVAGES – Oliver Stone lends his delicate touch to marijuana action film. Features maybe the scariest villain since Dennis Hopper in BLUE VELVET – Salma Hayek as the evil Mexican cartel leader. Farrr out, man!


SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN – Yet another Snow White vehicle. THRICE UPON A TIME.


THE WATCH – Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill protect their neighborhood from aliens. May the farce be with you.  Formerly named NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH but changed last Friday in light of the less than comedic actual neighborhood watch that went bad in Florida.  Yeah, a title change will make people forget.


MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE’S MOST WANTED – THE AMAZING RACE with cartoon animals. Probably a fun romp.

THAT’S MY BOY – Another Adam Sandler comedy. So the movie equivalent of toxic waste.

PEOPLE LIKE US – Date movie for the whole family. Elizabeth Banks falls for Chris Pine. One minor comic complication – he’s her brother.


YOUR SISTER’S SISTER – One minor comic complication – she’s her sister.

TO ROME WITH LOVE – Woody Allen’s 178th movie. At the rate he’s going through foreign locales he should be doing THREE MILE ISLAND PARADISE by 2016.


VIRGINIA – Jennifer Connelly with a Southern accent. The MILF version of Blanche DuBois.


PROMETHEUS – Prequel to ALIENS. A spaceship journeys to another planet. Not to spoil the plot but I hope the crew brought a lot of Tums.


ROCK OF AGES – the Broadway musical hits the big screen with noted singer, Tom Cruise in the lead.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER – My high school history teachers didn’t believe me! Finally, the truth is coming out!

The conclusion tomorrow.  

14 comments:

Richard Y said...

AH, AL:Vampire Hunter . I have a friend who appears as a Confederate Col. in the movie. It does sound a bit wierd.

Mitchell Hundred said...

Didn't 'Attack the Block' already cover the premise of protecting your neighbourhood from aliens? Did a damn good job of it, too.

Donald said...

A Friday "Cheers" question related to yesterday's "worst songs" post. Never mind that "Ringo" is awesome and shouldn't have been on the list, but the flip side of the 45 featured Lorne Greene singing the words to the "Bonanza" theme. I assume those are the official lyrics, but they are different than the ones sung in the classic "Cheers" first season episode cold open. Did the writers concoct their own lyrics ("We got a right to pick a little fight/Bonanza....") and why?

Keith said...

You mentioned the three main stars of "The Watch", but after seeing all of "The IT Crowd" I think Richard Ayoade might just steal the film.

Becca said...

I realize you're exaggerating for humorous effect, but "People Like Us" is 1) a drama, not a comedy, and 2) not about incest. A young man inherits money when his father dies and he must deliver the money to a sister he never knew he had. He doesn't tell her about their connection and apparently she does briefly develop romantic feelings for him, but Alex Kurtzman, who co-wrote and directed, flatly states "this is not a film about incest."

Just wanted to set the record straight.

Paul Duca said...

Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter...no wonder Mary Todd had issues. He was never home nights.

Mike said...

Tom Cruise is a great singer, as seen in Tropic Thunder.

Rudy said...

Savages is from a really good book by Don Winslow. And since good books always equal good movies, I'm excited to see it.

Frank said...

I hope Adam Sandler plays a girl again for THAT'S MY BOY.

RCP said...

"Millard Fillmore: Vampire Hunter" - doesn't quite have the same cachet.

Paul Duca said...

The irony is that the whole NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH/THE WATCH issue has to be dealt with by 20 Century-Fox Film Co, a part of News Corporation, Inc.
It was another operating division of the same company that fueled the hysteria, in its ongoing mission to informl the country that a black man is a greater threat to a nice (white) neighborhood than an alien.

Anonymous said...

I saw a trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman the other day. Somehow they manage to include battles with dudes on horseback, jousting and shit. I really don't recall that from the fairy tale. No doubt there will be a "European version" featuring doggy-style sex between Snow and the huntsman, too. And once she hooks up with the dwarves...y'know what, never mind...it doesn't bear thinking about.

Lawrence Fechtenberger said...

Donald--There are actually two official sets of lyrics to the BONANZA theme. There was the one used on Lorne Greene's record, and another that the Cartwrights sing at the end of one episode (they actually sing a cappella, but the song is obviously meant to go to the title theme).

Daniel S. said...

I have a better faith in That's My Boy knowing that Happy Endings creator David Caspe wrote the script.