Monday, February 11, 2013

Let's play Over-Under!

It’s always fun to involve you readers in a blog post. Today let’s play Over-Under! Over-under is a betting term. A certain number is assigned (like the total points for a particular football game) and people bet whether the final score will be either over or under that number.

But the category doesn’t have to be sports. Here are a few over-unders. I’m the self-appointed odds maker. Get your bets down.

THE OVER-UNDER…

…on Steven Soderbergh coming out of retirement -- 3 years. He’ll find a script or project that he just “had” to do. Or his investments will tank and he’ll run to OCEANS 16.

… on the number of new steroid charges implicating Alex Rodriquez – 5. If investigators dig deeply enough they’ll probably find his name among the Watergate burglars.

… on the number of stupid questions Sam Rubin will ask during the Oscars red carpet show – 25. The show is only an hour and he has a co-host.

… on the number of years Lena Dunham is the flavor-of-the-month – 3. Since she writes, directs, and acts you have to take Diablo Cody’s flavor-of-the-month tenure and multiply by three.

….on the number of years Seth MacFarlane hosts the Oscars – 1.

…on the number of shows Chuck Lorre will have on the air next year – 4. He’s the Dick Wolf of CBS.

…on the number of years before big movie star Nicole Kidman winds up on television starring in the spinoff, NCIS-WALLA WALLA – 3.

…on the number of times NBC develops a reboot of THE MUNSTERS – 37.

…on the number of years before big movie star Jennifer Aniston returns to television starring in RACHEL & ROSS – 2.   They have a baby and must deal with first-time parenthood.  NBC is going to do UP ALL NIGHT if it kills them. 

…on the number of years until Justin Bieber is performing at Six Flags Magic Mountain: 6. It would be 5 but he’ll be touring for a year in the national roadshow of BOOK OF MORMON.

…on the number of times Lindsay Lohan is arrested this year – 8. And none of them will be her fault.

…on the number of TWILIGHT sequels that will be released this year – 6. They hope to surpass the James Bond franchise of 50 films by June.

…on the number of years before Hugh Hefner leaves his latest wife Crystal Harris – 1. That’s when she turns 25 and will be too old for him.

…on the number of guys who look forward to Valentine’s Day – 0.

Feel free to weigh-in on these or offer your own.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

...on the number of seconds until Ricky Gervais offends someone - 13

...on the years since Lindsay Lohan was sober - 9

...on the number of deaths the NRA attributes to videogames next year - 4855

ScottyB said...

• Number of weeks before 'American Idol' says fuck it all and hires Will Ferrell to be a judge: +2
• Number days a week Lindsay Lohan wishes Ed Wood was still around making movies: +7
• Size of the fleet of drones already amassed by 'TMZ' to hover over Jennifer Aniston and fat actresses at the beach: +8,742
• Number of new celebrities the Church of Scientology will pick up this year: +6
• Number of impoverished Third World orphans the Kardashians will sponsor this year with Christian Children's Fund: -867,472
• Number of people who will still have no fucking idea who Katt Williams is no matter how many times he gets arrested for any reason: +Practically everyone

Curt Alliaume said...

By the time Aniston and David Schwimmer do the Rachel & Ross spinoff, the kid from Friends (Emma) is going to be a teenager. Which opens up all new possibilities.

Mac said...

"….on the number of years Seth MacFarlane hosts the Oscars – 1."

Well if these trailers are anything to go by... unless he's deliberately lowering the odds, and he's going to be Billy Crystal on the night.

...on the number of sequels to movies starring Russell Brand - 0.

Johnny Walker said...

Steven Soderbergh -- OVER. But I have no doubt he'll return. (And I'll be very happy when he does.)

Seth MacFarlane -- Um... UNDER? (I can't pick OVER!)

Chuck Lorre -- UNDER. Surely I'm not the only one tired of Chuck Lorre?

Jennifer Aniston -- OVER. David Schwimmer is already running for the hills.

Justin Bieber -- OVER. Don't forget the years he'll lose as a crack addict!

TWILIGHT -- UNDER. Sequels? How passe! Isn't it time for a reboot?

Pete Grossman said...

On the number of women looking forward to Valentines Day - how long is the newest prime number again?

benson said...

Number of men looking forward to Valentine's Day (0). I'll take the under.

I know the concerns about McFarlane, but I thought he was fine announcing the nominations. He might turn out to be like Luis Gonzales (one or two great years, perhaps juiced, perhaps not).

benson said...

OT,

Ken, would love to hear your thoughts on Mark Evanier's post today about KHJ.

Mike Barer said...

NCIS-Walla Walla, now that's funny!

Daniel said...

...on the number of years in a row any celebrity hosts the Oscars - 1

Paul Duca said...

I think there's ONE guy who looks forward to Valentine's Day...or at least February 14th.

Anonymous said...

Just a minor correction....50 *years* of Bond movies. 23 films (or 25 if you count early Casino Royale & Never Say Never Again)
-sammy

mike bell said...

NCIS - Wall Walla absolutely HAS to have a character that was a former LA Radio Production genius named Howard that helps Nicole out by analyzing audio recordings of different crimes. But he has to be a little quirky. Maybe randomly shouting "NINE" for no reason whatsoever.

Jest Jake said...

The number of times Ken Levine will:

Pimp his book (20) by the time baseball season starts...

Mention (12) the greatest announcer (that's Vin Scully, in case you're wondering) in all of baseball during spring training...

AND

The number (1) of no-hitters Ken calls during the Mariners season.

Cap'n Bob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cap'n Bob said...

Since Ken won't be announcing for the M's this season, the answer has to be 0.

YEKIMI said...

Number of years before Justin Bieber is caught in a "compromising situation" with Andrew Rannells, Zachary Quinto & Jonathan Groff - 8.5

Number of years before Dennis Miller is actually funny again - infinity.

Breadbaker said...

NCIS Walla Walla is less unlikely than you may think. My dad did his basic training for the Navy during World War II at Moscow, Idaho, which is further inland than Walla Walla.

BigTed said...

My guess? Within five minutes of starting his opening monologue, Seth MacFarlane will discover to his surprise that when you make jokes intended to offend gays and Jews -- and this time you're not hiding behind animated characters or a teddy bear -- gays and Jews actually get offended.

Mike Barer said...

Yea, (regarding NCIS--Walla Walla) but although the town has a penitentiary, that many murder would wipe out the entire city.

chuckcd said...

I'll take the under "six feet under" on the Munters reboots

chuckcd said...

Munsters, sorry.