If we had Facebook in 1961:
Status update: “Great speech by JFK. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
27 likes. 3 Shares.
Jeff: JFK is a dick.
Lisa: JeFF is a dick.
Jeff: Real mature.
Dan: What has Kennedy done for the country? Squt.
Lisa: It’s his first day, moron. And u can’t even spell squat.
Jeff: Well, u got a Catholic in the White House. Hope ur happy.
Lisa: What’s wrong with Catholics?
Paul: I’d fuck Jackie, that’s for sure!
Jeff: Just wait till birth control is outlawed.
Jeff: Or you.
Zeke: Hey! I’m agreeing with you.
Jeff: Oh. Sorry.
Marcy: You’re an idiot!
Dan: Whooze an idiot?
Marcy: Jeff but you 2. Whooze?????
Craig: The Pope sucks. He’s personally responsible for the deaths of 200,000 villagers in Africa.
Marcy: Says who?
Zeke: Says whooze?
Craig: Says a guy in my typing class who knows these things.
Paul: Typing 1 or Typing 2?
Jeff: I hadn’t heard that but I believe it.
Craig: He was right about Liz Taylor being a hermaphrodite.
Dan: She’s a Jew?
Lisa: And u like who Craig -- Buddah?
Craig: If Kennedy’s got to call one religious leader yeah I’d rather have him call Buddah than the Pope.
Lisa: U mean on the phone?
Paul: I hear he’s unlisted.
Seth: Whose the first lady that you’d most wanna fuck?
Lisa: Don’t you mean whooze?
Dan: Fuck you Lisa! Did I spell that rite?
Jeff: New law: Everyone must eat fish on Friday.
Lisa: U r so ignorant! What r u? A Baptist?
Zeke: I like salmon.
Marcy: Are you saying Baptists are ignorant?
Craig: Mary Todd Lincoln. I’ve seen photos. Total MILF.
Seth: She was bat shit crazy.
Dan: Probly a Baptis.
Craig: Who gets more pussy? Buddah or the Pope?
Dan: Can Baptis fuck? I forget.
Zeke: How are they gonna get new Baptists if they don’t fuck?
Craig: So by that logic there should be no more Catholics.
Paul: It’s just the priests who can’t fuck you idiot!
Craig: Then there should be no more priests.
Paul: Sellabacy sucks!
Marcy: Jackie Kennedy looks like Liz Taylor.
Jeff: Kennedy is a mafia tool.
Lisa: How about Nixon? He was personally responsible for coupes in Peru, Bolivia, Tasmania, and one or two other South American countries. The Republican Party just hushed it up.
Zeke: Can the government really pass a law that we have to eat fish on Friday?
Jeff: Kennedy will throw out the laws. In two months the US will be a martial state. There will be checkpoints at all Catholic churches and anyone who gets out of line will be brainwashed in the country’s secret brainwashing facility in … I’ve already said too much.
Lisa: How long did it take u 2 recover from the brainwashing?
Jeff: Read a newspaper once in awhile!
Marcy: Was it the Republicans or Democrats who hushed up the secret economy collapse?
Craig: What secret economy collapse?
Zeke: What if someone is allergic to fish?
Marcy: The one in 1956.
Seth: How could the economy collapse in 1956 and no one knew about it?
Marcy: Everyone was watching the Olympics.
Paul: Who would you rather fuck – Liz Taylor or Mary Todd Lincoln?
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