Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Was O.J. Simpson at my wedding?

In the recent WGA Veteran’s Retreat my fellow mentor, Karen Harris, and I did an exercise with our group. Two Truths and One Lie. It’s a great tool for dreaming up characters’ backstories. The exercise is you list three statements about your life – two are true, the other is false – and everyone has to guess which is the false one.  

So as a fun (?) blog exercise, I thought I would play the game with you. Below are nine series of three statements? One in each triplet is a lie. Guess which ones in the comments section. Tomorrow the answers and explanations for the true statements. As always, winners receive nothing so you’re going to definitely want to play. Good luck.

I was on ABC-TV covering the National Elections when I was eighteen.

I once asked Prince Charles “What advice would you give young people thinking of getting into your profession?”

I got a tour of the Oval Office from the President.

*************

For a pilot I was casting I once passed on an Oscar winner for an actress with zero experience.

Jennifer Aniston was in a failed pilot of ours.

O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.

***************

I kissed a Bond girl (when she was still young and hot).

I once announced a Dodger baseball game with Vin Scully.

I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.

****************

Former madam, Heidi Fleiss’ father was my kids’ pediatrician.

Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party.

I wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary.

****************

I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon.

I announced a Golden States Warriors game on KNBR, San Francisco.

My first girlfriend starred in a movie with Natalie Wood.

***************

Larry King said I sounded like Dick Cavett.

Al Hirschfeld made a caricature of himself just for me.

I got to fly once with the Blue Angels.

***************

Tracey Ullman hit me.

I once won the Washington Sportscaster of the Year Award.

I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.

*****************

I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.

I turned down writing for LAUGH IN when I was in college.

Tony Gwynn attended my son’s Bar Mitzvah.

****************

I wrote a musical-comedy stage show for the United States Army.

My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

I’m in Who’s Who in America.




35 comments:

Matt said...

I was on ABC-TV covering the National Elections when I was eighteen.



*************




Jennifer Aniston was in a failed pilot of ours.



***************


I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.

****************




I wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary.

****************

I announced a Golden States Warriors game on KNBR, San Francisco.


***************



Al Hirschfeld made a caricature of himself just for me.



*******

I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.

*****************


I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.



****************

My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

Carol said...

Oh, fun! My guess for the lies are as follows:

I once asked Prince Charles “What advice would you give young people thinking of getting into your profession?”

*************
O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.

***************
I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.

***************
Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party.

****************
I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon.

***************
Al Hirschfeld made a caricature of himself just for me.

***************
Tracey Ullman hit me.

*****************
I turned down writing for LAUGH IN when I was in college.

****************
My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

MikeN said...

I'm guessing you kissed a young and hot Lotte Lenya. Perhaps she was thinking of you when she was attacking Bond with the knife in her shoe.

MikeK.Pa. said...

"O.J. Simpson was at my wedding."
He drove a white Bronco in the wedding car procession.

"For a pilot I was casting I once passed on an Oscar winner for an actress with zero experience."
And Cuba Gooding is still pissed about it.

"Larry King said I sounded like Dick Cavett."
Dick Cavett thinks you sound like Larry King.

"I turned down writing the Cosby pilot."
I turned down a drink from Cosby.

"I got to fly once with the Blue Angels."
I once flew Jet Blue.

"My first girlfriend starred in a movie with Natalie Wood."
You dated Maureen O'Hara?

"Tracey Ullman hit me."
And you learned a valuable lesson - never mention The Simpsons around her.

"Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party."
Tony Gwynn sang at mine.

"I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college."
I bought a New Yorker (the car) while in college.

"My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”
So was Frasier's son.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L_vWpTAra8









Igor said...

Riffing on the name Golden States Warriors...

Could you please create a new show, "Golden Girl Warriors"?

In return, all I ask is a lunch with you and a Natalie Wood photo, suitable for framing (one of my favorite nonsense expressions) with a faux inscription by you.

Anonymous said...

Al Hirschfeld would do caricatures for hire, and some of the TV shows in LA hired him to do caricatures
of the behind-the-scenes people. So, it's possible if you hired him to do something, he would.

David said...

I was on ABC-TV covering the National Elections when I was eighteen.

LIE: I once asked Prince Charles “What advice would you give young people thinking of getting into your profession?”

I got a tour of the Oval Office from the President.

*************


For a pilot I was casting I once passed on an Oscar winner for an actress with zero experience.

Jennifer Aniston was in a failed pilot of ours.

LIE: O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.


***************

This one is a toughie... Would i insult you if I chose this one as the lie?

LIE: I kissed a Bond girl (when she was still young and hot).

I once announced a Dodger baseball game with Vin Scully.

I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.

****************


Former madam, Heidi Fleiss’ father was my kids’ pediatrician.

LIE: Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party.

I wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary.

****************

LIE: I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon.

I announced a Golden States Warriors game on KNBR, San Francisco.

My first girlfriend starred in a movie with Natalie Wood.

***************


Larry King said I sounded like Dick Cavett.

Al Hirschfeld made a caricature of himself just for me.

LIE: I got to fly once with the Blue Angels.

***************

LIE: Tracey Ullman hit me.

I once won the Washington Sportscaster of the Year Award.

I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.

*****************


I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.

LIE: I turned down writing for LAUGH IN when I was in college.

Tony Gwynn attended my son’s Bar Mitzvah.

****************

I wrote a musical-comedy stage show for the United States Army.

LIE: My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

I’m in Who’s Who in America.

Mork said...

The lies:
-Tour of the Oval Office
-Jennifer Aniston
-New Yorker cartoon
-Diana Ross
-Stephen Stills hitchhiking
-Larry King/Dick Cavett
-Virginia Sportscaster of the Year
-Laugh-In
-Norm

Todd Everett said...

I'm not sure about your sounding like Dick Cavett -- how many times had you name-dropped Groucho and Woody?

Hamid said...

OJ Simpson should've been hauled out of that courthouse and strung from an oak tree. He did it and now he is where he belongs but for the wrong reasons.

Corey said...

I'll take a stab at it....
Lies:
Tour of the oval office
O.J. Simpson at your wedding (I don't recall him being there)
Cartoon in the New Yorker
Wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary
Announced a Golden States Warriors game
Flew with the Blue Angels
Won Virginia Sportscaster of the year
Cosby Pilot
Norm

RyderDA said...

Falsies:
Prince Charles
O.J. Simpson
Kissing a Bond Girl
Diana Ross
Stephen Stills
Blue Angels
Virginia
Laugh In
Norm

Wendy M. Grossman said...

Lies:
- National elections
- OJ Simpson
- New Yorker cartoon
- Diana Ross
- Stephen Stills
- Blue Angels
- Virginia
- Laugh-In
- Norm.

But I thought you were going to ask us to come up with two truths and a lie about ourselves. Disappointed, now.

wg

Oat Willie said...

I could sort these out toot sweet if I had a good source of information. If only there was a Ken Levine biography, or a memoir, or something like that...

jcs said...

It's 7.95 USD for your full bio on WHO'S WHO. Interestingly video game Ken Levine hasn't made it yet.

Mike Schryver said...

I'll take a shot:

1. ABC-TV
2. Aniston
3. New Yorker
4. Diana Ross
5. Natalie Wood
6. Blue Angels
7. Virginia
8. Laugh-In
9. Who's Who

Mike Schryver said...

Okay, I thought "Norm" was remotely plausible and Who's Who might be something mundane you'd come up with to fool us, but evidently not.

Hamid said...

I really don't know what I did to provoke this stalker who keeps posting under my name but I just hope he gets the help he needs. Sorry to Ken and everyone else who have to keep seeing his comments. He disappeared for a while, so thought we'd seen the last of him!

tb said...

B,B,C,B,A,C,C,A,B

Roseann said...

These are the lies:

I once asked Prince Charles “What advice would you give young people thinking of getting into your profession?”

O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.

I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.

Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party.

I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon.

Al Hirschfeld made a caricature of himself just for me.

I once won the Washington Sportscaster of the Year Award.

I turned down writing for LAUGH IN when I was in college.

My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

Anonymous said...

I vote for the last one in each group

-30-

Igor said...

@Oat Willie - Well done.

Mike Barer said...

These are the lies....



I got a tour of the Oval Office from the President.
For a pilot I was casting I once passed on an Oscar winner for an actress with zero experience.
kissed a Bond girl (when she was still young and hot).
wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary.

I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.
I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon
I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.
My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

Mike Barer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kent said...

Even at two out of three you've had some extraordinary life.

Brian said...

My guesses for the non truths:
I was on ABC-TV covering the National Elections when I was eighteen
Jennifer Aniston was in a failed pilot of ours.
I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.
Former madam, Heidi Fleiss’ father was my kids’ pediatrician.
My first girlfriend starred in a movie with Natalie Wood.
I got to fly once with the Blue Angels.
I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.
I turned down writing for LAUGH IN when I was in college.
I wrote a musical-comedy stage show for the United States Army.

Johnny Walker said...

This is surprisingly tricky. Either that, or I'm tired (but I swear the mixture of your comedy brain and a very interesting life makes this really difficult -- and I've read The ME Generation!):

LIES:
I got a tour of the Oval Office from the President.
O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.
I kissed a Bond girl (when she was still young and hot). - No offence! I could easily imagine this being true as well.
Former madam, Heidi Fleiss’ father was my kids’ pediatrician.
I once picked up Stephen Stills who was hitchhiking in Laurel Canyon.
Larry King said I sounded like Dick Cavett.
I once won the Virginia Sportscaster of the Year Award.
I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.
I’m in Who’s Who in America.

LouOCNY said...

Since I have read all of your books, and have been reading this blog for God knows how many years, I will refrain from answering....and Bruce, you got one wrong.

Pleading the fifth said...

1.a) 2.c) 3.b) 4.b) 5.c) 6.c) 7.c) 8.b) 9.c)
Here's hoping for more than 3.

Roger Owen Green said...

I'm pretty sure Tony Gwynn DID attend your son's bar mitzvah

Pleading the fifth said...

Or 9.b) Damnit.

Buttermilk Sky said...

Do you write those "Most Interesting Man In the World" commercials?

estiv said...

I got a tour of the Oval Office from the President.
O.J. Simpson was at my wedding.
I had a cartoon in the New Yorker while in college.
Diana Ross sang at my grandparents’ anniversary party.
I announced a Golden States Warriors game on KNBR, San Francisco.
Larry King said I sounded like Dick Cavett.
I once won the Washington Sportscaster of the Year Award.
I turned down writing the Cosby pilot.
My daughter’s first word was “Norm.”

RCP said...

1. Oval Office
2. Jennifer Aniston
3. New Yorker
4. Diana Ross
5. First girlfriend
6. Larry King
7. Washington sportscaster
8. Cosby pilot
9. "Norm"

Hamid said...

As others have said, just the fact that two out of each set of statements is true is amazing. My guesses for the lies:


1. Tour of the Oval office. I was going to go with the Prince Charles one but I can imagine you having the guts to ask that as a brash young would-be comedy writer.


2. Jennifer Aniston.


3. Cartoon in the New Yorker. If it turns out you really did kiss a Bond girl in her youth, you'll have to tell us who.


4. Diana Ross.


5. Girlfriend was in a Natalie Wood movie.


6. Blue Angels. I have no idea who they are and I know I can google them, but I'll wait until you've done the reveal.


7. Virginia Sportscaster. Sounds too random, while Washington makes sense and Tracey Ullman hitting you sounds like one of those crazy but true Hollywood stories.


8. Turning down writing for LAUGH IN.


9. Daughter's first word was Norm.