Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Meghan Markle is leaving SUITS?

Just because she’s engaged to a prince?
Oh sure, leave the security of a hit TV series for the chaos that has always been the British monarchy.

What kind of agent does Meghan have? Doesn’t she know that leaving a series might make it hard for her to book a role on a coveted LIFETIME movie about teen pregnancy?

It just seems like a real step down after being on the USA network.

And there are so many hungry actors out there. Landing a part on a hit series is way harder than marrying into a royal family. Get real!

Meghan obviously doesn’t know how good she had it. Oh sure, she’ll have servants, but they’re amateurs compared to PA’s. When Duchess Meghan wants a donut she’ll have to ring a bell, the servant will have to cross to the kitchen, wait for the donut to come out of the oven, prepare the silver service, and cross the length of the palace to deliver it. On set, Mergan says “where’s my fucking donut?” two seconds later the Second AD is on the wireless saying: “Donut flying in!” and a PHD in Literature from NYU appears one second later with two donuts, just in case she wants a second one. PA’s anticipate!

But I guess she’ll learn the hard way. And wait till the prince has to cut the budget to pay for exterminators at the summer castle. Meghan will really wish she had those season eight residuals (excuse me -- "royalties").

But it’s her life.

28 comments :

Wendy M. Grossman said...

On a more interesting topic, Hollywood Reporter has published a remarkably entertaining oral history of THE SMOTHERS COMEDY BROTHERS HOUR: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/smothers-brothers-comedy-hour-oral-history-1060153

wg
PS Not that I'm criticizing your choice of topic, Ken, but I live in Britain, where the country is awash...and no one really cares.

Peter said...

(excuse me -- "royalties").

LOL! That line is gold.

I was saddened to read that she's now retiring from acting because of her marriage so that she can focus on her "humanitarian" interests. Why can't she do both? It's sad that the price she has to pay for marrying into one of the most dysfunctional families in the world is giving up her career. Grace Kelly did the same when she became Princess Grace.

I totally get that the royals wouldn't want a duchess (her title will be duchess and not princess) to be in films with sex scenes, but she wouldn't have to do those. Besides, she's already done sex scenes in Suits. So I've heard.

However, they DO look like a happy couple and I wish them all the best. And of course, she is also absolutely gorgeous, which is always a plus.

Another suggestion for a topic - Charles Manson. I actually thought you would write a post about him in the wake of his death last week, as he and his gang of monsters struck in 1969 and I'd be interested to read your recollections of that time when the news was dominated by the Manson Family murders.

Anonymous said...

Mergan

Matt said...

I can’t believe how dumb she is. Suits is a very good show. Harry isn’t even the Crown Prince. If you can’t be queen what is the point of harrying a prince.

Dr Loser said...

Point of information, Ken. The young lady will not become "Princess Meghan." This is a vulgar mistake, common to all Americans.

It's actually a fun game, though. Pick a Duchess! I'm going with Clarence, which has a nice historical tang to it. Other alternatives are Albany, which is sort of nice, and a nod to modern times. Let's make Harry Duke of Earl, and let Meghan be his Duchess of ... er ... Countess, (I'm no Debrett, but I think I have that right.)

I can't wait to see the next cast call. Who could possibly refuse a Countess?

LouOCNY said...

Shall we start a Go Fund Me for her?

E. Yarber said...

Believe it or not, when Ronald Reagan was about to leave the presidency, it was reported that a producer contacted him about resuming his acting career by starring in a remake of Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

Reagan decided that he could take over Jimmy Carter's role, but not David Janssen's.

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Howard Hoffman said...

@Peter...

Get Ken’s THE ME GENERATION BY ME book. There’s an entire chapter about the Manson family, “Heller Skelter.” And it makes a great Christmas gift.

Peter said...

Howard Hoffman said...

@Peter...

Get Ken’s THE ME GENERATION BY ME book. There’s an entire chapter about the Manson family, “Heller Skelter.” And it makes a great Christmas gift.

I might just do that! I did enjoy Must Kill TV (available on Amazon). In the meantime, maybe Ken will post an excerpt of that chapter on the blog. Hint hint.

By the way, are you Ken's literary agent? ;-)

Buttermilk Sky said...

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall when the notoriously racist Prince Philip meets Harry's future mother-in-law? I hear she has dreadlocks.

Mike said...

Bravo, Kenneth! I thoroughly enjoyed that. And it was a take of which I'd never thought.

Seriously though, those palaces aren't heated. And at breakfast, they eat Corn Flakes out of a Tupperware box. American invention has already left its mark.

For better or worse, I'll finish my version off & post that, some time. It's only fair that everyone gets to suffer.

blinky said...

#sad

McAlvie said...

I wish them well. I liked the show, although admittedly I haven't kept up because I never know what show has returned for another season or when, and I liked her character. Still, I suspect her new role will be something of a full time job in itself. Although she won't have near the pressure of William and Kate. It can't be easy making a marriage work in the limelight, so I'm giving these two crazy kids some positive vibes and good wishes.

Pete Grossman said...

And, hell! As an actor, she can move up in ranks to become a director, but since she's not of royal blood, the highest rank she can achieve is Duchess, never becoming princess! Has she lost her mind?

Ted said...

Hi Ken, what effect do you think Hollywood's steamrolling sexual-harassment crisis (just added today: Matt Lauer and Garrison Keillor) will have on behavior in writers' rooms? I believe you've said in the past that these rooms need to be a space where free-flowing, uncensored talk is allowed, and that crude or offensive language is par for the course. But do you think that's changing now? I have to imagine that the "Friends" writers' assistant who sued for harassment years ago would be taken much more seriously today, and that the male writers she said made sexual jokes about female actresses would be fired. (I also wonder if female writers who've felt uncomfortable with this kind of atmosphere, but didn't say anything about it, will start speaking out.)

Overall, I think the extent of real, serious harassment in Hollywood that's being revealed is appalling, and that it's a positive step that people are being held to account. At the same time, I wonder if the fear of repercussions will also make writers start self-censoring their thoughts and language in a way that could get in the way of creativity. As our resident expert, what do you think?

VP81955 said...

Yep, those palaces aren't heated. And at San Simeon, the closest thing America has to a castle, William Randolph Hearst used catsup in their original bottles when he and Marion Davies held their famous dinners with Hollywood royalty and visiting celebrities such as George Bernard Shaw.

Brian said...

Wonder what they going to do to poor Mike for the reason for her exit.

Mike Bloodworth said...

Never watched "Suits," so I really don't give a damn. Maybe she should get one of those DNA tests to find out her ancestry. On Finding Your Roots they sometimes discover that a celebrity is decended from the bastard of some long ago king. Finally the rest of this comment might be considered too sexist for publication, so I chose not to include it. However, what I can say is that based on some of the women I know personally, they'll take the WEALTHY guy every time.

Kayters said...

That's the best thing I've read about this!

I've a question for you, Ken: I was a PA in an agency here in London that does editing video and the job was really as you've described it. I couldn't do it anymore and I simply quit. Don't know if it was the best thing to do but that was really too much. Also, there were people there doing these things for over 2 years without any change in their career.

So my question is this... is being a PA worth it most of the time?

Thank you!

VincentS said...

Actors! Seriously, though, as the tragedies of Princess Grace and Princess Diana proved, marrying into a Royal Family (ludicrous to exist in this day and age, in my opinion, tourist industry value aside) is not always a bed of roses.

Dr Loser said...

And, appropriately, nobody has mentioned or even considered the possibility that we are sitting on the side-lines and making silly "celeb" comments about two people who are apparently deeply in love.

Call me an old softie, but there it is. Let's focus on what really matters.

Oliver Pepper said...

Hi Ken - I recently asked the same thing Ted (above) did re: writer's rooms. Guessing you're doing some serious thinking (smart!) on this and hope you'll respond. Thanks!

MikeN said...

This is a nice way to wrap up Suits.

YEKIMI said...

Maybe she should get one of those DNA tests to find out her ancestry. On Finding Your Roots they sometimes discover that a celebrity is descended from the bastard of some long ago king.

Hey! I'm descended from some long ago King of Ireland and I'm no bastard and neither was he. But they were inbreeding idiots, so I'm also related to the British Royals on one side and Russian Czars on the other side. All I know is that for me to become King of England, about 3 billion people in front of me have to die first. [Always liked that King Ralph movie, thought it could have been an auto-biographical film of me.]

Mike Bloodworth said...

No insult intended or implied. All I meant was that many royals had mistresses. Some of those mistresses bore children that weren't acknowledged by the people in authority. Without a papertrail the only way to know is through DNA.

Wendy M. Grossman said...

Ted: At Ken's seminar one year, Jane Espenson talked about the atmosphere in the sitcom rooms she'd worked in and how over-the-top some of it was. It was why she switched to drama. Now, in one sense that's our gain, but how many talented women got tired of the male writers in their room speculating on their sexual activity preferences and simply left the industry? I agree you have to have a lot of latitude to improvise and experiment, and I think the movie THE ARISTOCRATS makes plain that comics and comedians are willing to go almost anywhere, but I find it really hard to believe that the comedy will suffer *that* much if writers are discouraged from deeply personal comments.

wg

Johnny Walker said...

I just think it’s nice for someone to be leaving a TV show for another reason than being accused of sexual harassment.