You’re thinking, “What country?”
No country. It’s my personal Thanksgiving Day.
On October 15th, many years ago, I had to report to US Army Basic Training at Ft. Leonard, Missouri (way up in the delightful Ozarks).
And since that day, every year on this date I give thanks that I’m no longer there. Basic Training was brutal for me. I was skinny, uncoordinated, couldn’t hit a target with a bazooka, couldn’t build or fix a fucking thing, and I’m Jewish. I was truly, as my Drill Sergeants graciously reminded me hourly, a “fucking dud.”
So no matter how bad things are for me on October 16th, they’re still better than that year.
I made a vow to myself when I graduated Basic Training (there was actually a ceremony and some parents actually attended), that as time goes by and you start to remember only the good things and new friendships and eventually start to think “it wasn’t that bad” – no matter what I remember or forget it WAS that bad.
My draft number in the lottery was 4, which meant I was off to Vietnam unless I got my ass into a reserve unit QUICK, which I did. At the time I thought that draft number was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
But in truth it was a blessing.
I met my writing partner in the reserves. Having knowledge of how the military worked I was able to write MASH. MASH launched my career. Who knows where I would have ended up had I never been a grunt?
So I have that to be thankful for too.
Happy Thanksgiving Day! Blow up the giant Snoopy balloon.
14 comments :
Happy Thanksgiving Ken!
Happy thanksgiving!
You're actually just one day off of Canadian Thanksgiving, which was October 14th this year (the second Monday in October every year).
You should celebrate by slathering yourself in cranberry sauce and then diving into a vat of gravy.
M.B.
My dad was drafted in 1963, but basic training was cut short because of JFK's assassination. They shut the base down for a week and never made any real attempt to make up the time. As a result, my dad was possibly the worst shot they'd ever seen. (He probably would have been anyway, since my dad hates guns even more than me.) But he was never going to make it as a soldier, so he never got sent overseas. He spent a year behind a desk in an office in Virginia and was discharged.
Not to quibble (OK I'm quibbling) it's Ft. Leonard Wood. Leonard Wood was a physician and general officer who, among other things, organized the Rough Riders with Theodore Roosevelt during the Spanish American War.
Ken, did you see SNL's brilliant parody of Joker? It's an origin story for Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kqpak5lFxvs
Thank you for your service.
We're all glad you didn't "deploy," Ken. This is exactly why the generals hate draftees. They prefer soldiers who really want to be there.
Of course, you could have come down with bone spurs, but as a decent human, how would you live with yourself?
Bob Newhart turned 90 this month.
Ken, did you have the good fortune to work with Bob Newhart???
I'm thankful that the Vietnam draft ended before I was born, and that the first Iraq war ended before I was of selective service age. Happy Thanksgiving.
And also, fuck the American military-industrial complex.
At the risk of opening the floodgates, I'd like to share a terrific tweet I just read that was written by Bishop Talbert Swan, an African American pastor. I'm atheist but a great tweet is a great tweet.
"Obama celebrated 27 yrs of marriage to his wife Michelle. They have 2 daughters.
Trump marked his 22nd rape allegation during his 3rd marriage. He has 5 children by 3 baby mamas. Mistresses aborted another 10.
Guess which one evangelicals say represent their 'family values.'"
https://twitter.com/TalbertSwan/status/1181235107337822209
Be glad that your basic training was in October. Summer in Arkansas is brutal.
Sean
I didn't fire a bazooka during basic training, but I did during AIT, which, by the way, I took at Fort Leonard Wood. I was there in Jan-Feb and it is the coldest place I've ever experienced.
::: Friday Question :::
In the episode you and David wrote "None Like It Hot", Hawkeye and B.J.'s tub came from "Abercrombie & Fitch." Later, in "Dear Uncle Abdul" (John Rappaport & Jim Mulligan), Winchester wears a hunting coat and hat also from "Abercrombie & Fitch."
Wondering why "Abercrombie & Fitch" vs., say, "Sears & Roebuck"?
Then again, this could be filed under "oh who the hell cares?!"
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