Personal flashback: I saw the very first STAR WARS in a preview screening. I had no idea what it was about going in. Within ten minutes I was knocked on my ass. It was maybe the most fun I ever had watching a movie. The film was so fresh and exciting that even the clunky dialogue and Carrie Fisher’s ear buns didn’t bother me. The next few episodes were highly entertaining, but nothing matches “your first time.”
Once Jar Jar Binks and Natalie Portman and trumped up absurd plots started filling the IMAX screen my zeal for the franchise subsided. Way more fun was to go on the Star Tours ride at Disneyland than watch a new installment.
This final chapter should be called STAR WARS: EVERYBODY LOVES REY. Daisy Ridley stars again as Rey, leading a politically correct very diverse crew on yet another journey to save the world. (Droids Lives Matter) Adam Driver is along to provide actual acting in the film. And Oscar Isaac tries his best to be Tom Cruise.
I apologize to all the STAR WARS faithful who will doubtless watch this chapter a hundred times, but for me it was one long string of every cliché and battle scene from the franchise. What makes a sequence thrilling is not the CGI effects, it’s the fact that we’re seeing something NEW. And in this picture there was NOTHING new. Meticulously staged and filmed but NOTHING new.
And worse, several of the same scenes were repeated over and over. How many characters can be told they have what it takes by wise (and often dead) elders? How many times do they have to remind each other that if they don’t succeed with this mission that everything that has gone before will have been for nothing? I’ll answer that question. At least ten.
Now for a lot of fans, they don’t care. That, in fact, is what they want. But after a half hour I was already yawning.
And this time the clunky dialogue DID get to me. “What are you most afraid of?” “Myself.” “Don’t tell me what you think. Tell me what you are.” “Don’t blame yourself.” “I will always be here. I will live within you.”
Ugh!!!
And to hammer home these trite nuggets of overwrought palaver, John Williams score is so intrusive and on-the-nose you want to ask for two of his Oscars back.
Again, none of this matters if you’re a STAR WARS fanatic. I’m sure it was gut wrenching to have to say goodbye to these beloved characters. But for the rest of us, this final chapter was the dinner party where the guests should have left two hours ago.
34 comments :
I'm a special effects geek. So I enjoyed the hell out of it. The dialogue did blow; it was so bad that as they're spouting the lines I was giving the answering response by a character almost vebatim. C3PO, at least to me, has finally gotten so annoying that I wish he would have been taken out by the bad guys or maybe by some "accidental" friendly fire. Of coures then his "boyfriend" R2D2 might have jammed his eletrical spark discharging rod thingie up some Rebel pilot's ass and caused his testicles to explode. In all though I just thought it was just a fancier redo of the very first one or I mean fourth one.....fuck, whichever one came out in 1977 before they decided to do all the numbering crap. I guess Baby Yoda [don't tell Jon Favreau I called it that] will be the next character to het a spin off movie of his own...."Bad, yes, will it be."
I am yet to see a 'Star Wars' movie. I have read that the first movie was path breaking and everyone talks about it.
I don't know.... I never was keen on sci-fi movies.
There is one thing that I loved in this review Ken, that you hate John Williams as much as I do.
His music is basically the same repeat in all movies. Unlike Hans Zimmer where you can tell which movie as soon as you hear the track.
And since he scored music for some famous movies, he is deified, when in fact, his best music will be for just a brief moment like for the unseen shark in Jaws or the American superhero Superman's theme. That makes it memorable for some people and they shower him with awards.
"final STAR WARS (final as in Cher’s “Final” tour)" :)
Something I meant to ask as a Friday Question or Oscar related post question :
Do you think Cher's acting was better than Glenn Close's brilliant performance in 'Fatal Attraction'?
It always pains me that she never won even when she gave her best, especially last year.
Cher's win and Art Carney's win over Al Pacino's Godfather II performance is one of the most talked points on many movie forums.
My wife and I are binge watching Frazier. We are loving them. My question, how were the guest callers lined up? And how were they recorded? We always watch to the end to see who they were. Thank you
Haven't seen the movie yet, but probably will. I enjoyed the first in this recent trilogy as an opportunity to revisit the original characters, but I agree that nothing will ever match the impact of the original Star Wars seen for the first time on the big screen. I don't know if it was better or just different, or maybe we as an audience were less jaded and more ready to be amazed. The reason doesn't matter and I'm not going to make digs at either the acting or writing because I don't think they are at fault. The original was some kind of magic moment and I'm just happy that I was around for it and had that experience.
Typing this has me recalling that you are not a big fan, Ken, of the recent spate of action movies, but it also has been remembering seeing the first Superman with Christopher Reeves and the audience reaction then. The audience, a room full of adults, many of whom remembered the George Reeves version, actually cheered.
So Hollywood could do better, but is it the movies, or is it us? Okay, maybe a bit of both?
Lemme guess. It should have been 30 minutes shorter.
Thank you. My take was "It's ok. Eh."
Non-stop action (especially the same repeated non-stop action) is just boring after a while. And there's no action movie in the world that should run longer than two hours.
Martin Scorcece made a stink over calling the Marvel Movies theme park rides. I believe the same criticism can be made of the Star Wars franchise. It is like they do with Spiderman now, they just keep rebooting the same story. Star Wars is the same story over and over: Plucky young pilot finds the force and blows up a death star. How many fucking Deathstars are there anyway? And when will they fix that exposed port to the self destruct button?
Elizabeth Banks blamed men for her crappy movie flopping.
'Charlie's Angels' - the terrible re-boot, that no one asked for, bombed at the Box office.
What do you think Ken? Men hate chicks action flicks or just a pathetic loser blaming men?
Well said sir. I likened this movie to hearing a cover band do the Beatles' best hits.
All the notes are there, but it's just not the same and you know it.
I found the movie meh. There was a lot there, but it just laid there.
I too remember seeing Star Wars when it came out. The movie originally opened in 32 screens for the entire U.S.in May of 1977. My city had one theater showing it across town and I was way too young to drive and there was no way my parents were going to drive 45 minutes to a theater, wait two-and-a-half hours for the movie to run and then drive 45 minutes back home. They had lives too.
So when the film released on a much wider scale in July my brother, next door neighbor and I made sure to get to the theater half an hour before show time. It was sold out and there was a huge line for the next showing. We bought tickets, killed three hours and then waited 30 minutes in the line for people who had their tickets for the next showing. I never had seen anything like that before and the film lived up to the hype.
This film, not so much.
I've read an opinion that "The Mandalorian" TV series is the future of the franchise instead of the movies. It's pretty good, and I hope you give it a try. The first and final 2 episodes are very good, even though it slows in-between. In fact, the final episode opens with a quiet character development scene between 2 storm troopers that I can't imagine appearing in the movies.
Same villain, same Jedi story (wants to go into hiding), same evil weapon (now in ship size!), same wiping of a droid's memory, same 'surprise lineage' reveal, etc.....
I found the first hour tedious and sort of boring. It seemed better the second hour but it almost seemed they waited until an hour in to actually start telling the story (not exactly true, but it sort of felt that way).
John Williams' greatest achievements were the 'Lost in Space' themes. It has been all downhill since then.
At the end of The Rise of Skywalker, the Skywalker family has all been wiped out.
Rey is the living grandchild of Emperor Palpatine, while the dead Skywalkers are all up in Force Heaven or whatever.
To compound things, Rey even takes the Skywalker name. She can't say she's "Rey Palpatine," can she? But that is what she is.
As time goes on, more moviegoers will realize they've been hoaxed.
The one with Drew B, Lucy L, and Cameron D was wildly popular as was the series.
Two words:
Darth Zayde
The main reason I never saw E.T. a second time was Williams' music. But I do believe he did some good work, including the 1977 and 1980 Star Wars movies, Close Encounters (1977), and Presumed Innocent (1990).
Kosmo13: Your implication is that the two Lost in Space themes are equally good. I think the 1965-67 theme doesn't hold a candle to the 1967-68 theme (which marching bands still perform, to great effect).
Once again -- morons are blaming others for their mistakes. Because in reality, the public is not buying when the stuff starts getting stale or just lousy, no matter what the budget or how many big names are involved.
The Mandalorian's success should not come as a surprise since it's the first Star Wars offshoot in years that is just plain fun. Often a lower budget, like this show obviously has, is an asset because it requires more character and story. Money can cover up dross with special effects and social messages. Big budgets also being with them executive interference, and as you constantly explain as this site Ken, that is the real Death Star to creativity because everyone has a say in everything making the end result say nothing.
The other thing that has crippled all of these recent franchises is there frantic need to be socially responsible--not because it's the right thing to do but because it's good for corporate PR, sells products, makes headlines and fulfills demographic needs. IT's not sincere, and the public can tell, especially young (and yes, female) audiences, as this video illustrates:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=woke+disney
I don't think the Star Wars fanatics are on-board with this movie.
However, kids seem to be enjoying the movie just fine, and really Star Wars is just a kids movie. The problem was in Last Jedi and the whole series, having a girl hero keeps boys from rewatching like the other movies.
' Rey even takes the Skywalker name. She can't say she's "Rey Palpatine"'
This is not new. Indira Gandhi was born Indira Nehru, her husband's name was Khan, and she is not related to Gandhi. But it earned her family some goodwill that put another 3 generations close to power, though her son forfeited that by marrying an Italian girl.
A 42-year-old franchise whose best line is "I am your father" is probably not to be expected to wow the audience with sparkling dialogue, and the films are pretty consistent in this respect.
I didn't know there were so many people out there who disliked John Williams, but I have to agree with Ken that this was a rather ham-handed effort on his part. As I watched, I wasn't even sure he was the composer because it seemed like such an awkward pastiche of all his previous motifs, much as Ken Thorne did with Williams' original work in the Superman sequels.
I'm a Star Wars fanatic. And these movie is a train wreck! I'm amazed that Disney didn't sit down and plan the trilogy beforehand. But it's obvious that they didn't. This film is plainly a "we're sorry about episode 8!" from Disney. Too bad, because that movie, for all of its fault, did actually try to deliver something new.
To me this movie had too much to do so it seemed rushed. I largely blame that on The Last Jedi being so bad that they had to act like it never happened. Certain plot lines that should have taken two movies to wrap up only got one. But overall I liked it.
Saw Saturday with my wife and teen son. I am guessing he is the target audience. He loved it. I felt sentimental throughout; knowing the never-ending trilogies were finally about to finish and seeing Carrie Fisher. I really wonder what the story would have been if she had survived for the filming. She was a formidable presence in the prior one. I missed her having a primary role this time.
Less sentimental: I might be the only person who thinks Adam Driver can not act. He was the biggest weakness in episodes 7 through 9. I wish they had spaced out the return of the dead people more. It was like three back to back to back in at most fifteen minutes. By the time Luke reappeared it was almost laughable in its predictably. Finally, it was great seeing Billy Dee Williams but the passage of time and perhaps a little work has left his face mostly frozen. There was a close-up near the end where he presumably was meant to show delight which unfortunately was physically impossible.
You can't go home again.
"Sequels are whore movies." -William Goldman
Andy Rose said...
A 42-year-old franchise whose best line is "I am your father" is probably not to be expected to wow the audience with sparkling dialogue
Exactly my thoughts. I still love the original trilogy so I'm not criticizing. But watching it all these years later I have to admit a lot of the dialog is a bit cheezie. But it worked at the time! So while I'm not letting Hollywood off the hook for bad movies, I do think we as an audience have become jaded.
I don't have a problem with a kick ass female protagonist, and considering the original movies included an intergalactic cast of characters that looked like something out of a nightmare … and those were the good guys … I don't have a problem with more diversity, either. They were all strong characters with good actors, so why shouldn't StarWars have a female lead and a diverse cast? Maybe it only feels ham fisted because we aren't as "woke" as we pretend to be.
Maybe the problem is that we changed.
"…leading a politically correct very diverse crew…"
Having read your blog for several years now, I know comments like these are a dime a dozen. You seem to have a real bug-a-boo about non-white people existing in (what you seem to believe to be) white spaces, calling it "politically correct" when they appear on screen.
What you do mean non-white people can exist in fiction outside of Star Trek? That's Politically Correct!
You must have been highly annoyed by Disney's live action Cinderella.
It hurts when a favorite believes you don't belong in most stories, even if only in the background. But, as Wesley said to Buttercup, 'life is pain'. I'll continue to read the blog knowing that you find my existence – at least as it could be represented in fiction – to be an anathema.
On a lighter note, this was my least favorite of the most recent trilogy and ranks somewhere in the middle of the 11 films overall (didn't see Solo; will forever be annoyed by the Lucas' prequels; Rogue One was good). It was enjoyable enough in the theater, but I probably wouldn't put it on when I need something in the background while folding laundry.
May you continue to have good fortune with your plays, your podcast, and any other endeavors you seek in the coming New Year.
Kosmo13 said...
John Williams' greatest achievements were the 'Lost in Space' themes. It has been all downhill since then.
I take issue, sir (or ma'am)!
Have you forgotten the stirring strains of the incidental music from "Gilligan's Island?"
Da DA da-da, DA da-da, DA da-da, DAAAA,
Da DA DA, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da DA...
I refused to buy any more tickets for this hayride after "Phantom Menace." I wouldn't have gone that far if my first wife hadn't dragged me to the sequels. I wish I'd quit after "Return of the Jedi," when I noticed that they were expending more effort on introducing cutesy stuff to merchandise to kids (the Ewoks) than in thinking up a new plot ("The Death Star needs to be blown up? Didn't they already do that in the movie before last?") I fast-forwarded through the next two prequels on library DVDs, where I learned that my house has less wood in it than Lucas' dialogue does. And that was it for me. Now, from what I hear, we're nine movies in, and apparently, they're still building Death Stars, only smaller and more efficient. They're the smart phones of doomsday machines. Also still having light saber fights, still revealing "shocking" family histories, yadda yadda yadda.
I think the problem is that the first movie was a self-contained classic that said everything about this yarn that needed to be said, but there was too much money to be made to leave it alone. They've been regurgitating and rearranging the same handful of plot elements ever since, with ever-diminishing returns. Even a cow knows not to chew the same cud for 40 years.
YOUR HELPFUL GUIDE TO STAR WARS
First movie: We have to destroy a Death Star!
Second and third movies: Guyz, they're building an even bigger Death Star! We have to destroy it! Also, family stuff!
Fourth, fifth, sixth, eighth and tenth movies: Like, there's lots of backstory to all this!
Seventh movie: Seriously, guyz, this time it's like a REALLY big Death Star! Probably at least twenty ... no fifty, times bigger. I mean, if we destroy THAT, that'd grab your attention, right?
Ninth movie: Okay, the death star thing is played out. No death star this time! But lasers and space stuff!
Eleventh movie: Right, that last one was a mistake! This time, the Death Star is SMALL! Ha! How's that for a twist?
"non-white people existing in (what you seem to believe to be) white spaces, calling it "politically correct" "
The issue is that the studio has gone out of it's way to bring in this diversity. Take a look at Kathleen Kennedy and her 'The Force Is Female' shirts.
Every studio throws in Chinese characters to get the movie approved to play in China, but there is a difference between Rogue One and Rose in The Last Jedi.
The only problem with Finn other than Rose is they didn't do anything with his history, and instead he's just having fun killing stormtroopers.
While Ken has had several all-white casts, he also did Becker.
Long before Star Wars, there was Star Trek.
And before that, there was Science Fiction Fandom.
My older brother was a part of SFF for most of his life; I was not, largely because of him.
SFF has always treated this genre as a sort-of off-brand religion, and roundly disdained non-followers as the Great Unwashed.
When Trek first hit TV, SFF regarded it as the 3rd Source Of Revelation, and its initial absence of popular success as an indicator of their own Superiority as a subspecies of humanity.
That Trek subsequently attained Cult Status was seen by SFF as Justice Triumphant.
When Wars came along, the rules had changed a bit: its super-inflated box office numbers were regarded by SFF as proof that the Genre was indeed superior to all else in the world (never mind that much of those numbers consisted of the same guys seeing the movie 10 or 20 or even more times).
Today, in Movie World the franchise is King, to the exclusion of all else; you can't get your non-brand-name movie into a plex that's already crammed with this CGI machine or that SFF fanfest - at least for more than a week or two at the start, and then it won't make nearly the BO numbers of the Franchises.
Add to that the internecine blog wars over which SF Franchise is superior/inferior to that one, and the internal wars over how this Franchise has improved/deteriorated (usually the latter) over time.
When I retired from working (?), I had the idea that I could go to movies in theaters every day if I had the notion to do that.
In 2019, I doubt that I paid my way into more than ten movies all year long.
I don't see that changing in 2020.
Off the main subject, but concerning this from Mike Doran: "Long before Star Wars, there was Star Trek."
One of my favorite speeches is William Shatner at the AFI event for George Lucas, where he behaves as if he's at a Star Trek convention, and then sings Sinatra.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZVwQptvWw
Perhaps it was due to the lowering of my expectations from reading Ken's negative review, but I just came back from Episode IX, and I had a grand old time. And I especially enjoyed the music, which, with its leitmotifs and almost constant presence, was beautifully rooted in the Golden-Age scoring tradition that the series has always evoked. I particularly liked the hidden-in-plain-hearing musical hints, begun two films ago, that presaged the plot revelations in this one. I've already written my admiration for Williams on these comment pages, so I won't belabor any other point but this: to those people who think he's always writing "the same music", I say, as politely as possible, nerts.
The Star Wars fanatics abandoned the franchise when Lucas said "All that backstory and extended universe stuff? Screw that, I'm ignoring all of it." At that point the fans knew that there was nothing in it for them; Lucas simply wasn't interested in them. Which would have been fine if he'd have made a new series, but he didn't. He chose to slap us in the face.
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