As we are knee-deep in the travel season, I wonder whether I’m neurotic or normal.
I’m on a flight (this was before the latest COVID surge). The plane lands. Everyone is trying to get off. If I’m up front and have a bag in the overhead compartment, I can not get it out fast enough. Why? Because I am aware that this procedure is holding up 150 people, and that drives me CRAZY. Who am I to inconvenience 150 people?
And yet, I wonder — am I the only one who thinks like that? Because I see folks take their sweet time, adjust their hair, finish their text, and slowly extricate their bag as if they had all the time in the world.
Well, you might say it’s only another thirty seconds. But thirty seconds here and twenty seconds there and passengers in the back of the plane get off ten minutes later. Should they be trying to make a connection those ten minutes could be key.
Same is true when I’m ordering something at Starbucks and there’s a long line behind me. I figure my order beforehand, have my credit card ready, and complete the transaction as fast as I can. I don’t get to the counter and then look up at the menu. I don’t ask seventeen questions. I don’t pay in pennies and meticulously count them out. I don’t change my order four times.
Now I recognize that this could just be my own OK Boomer hang up. I should just chill. This is merely the new normal. But I’m the guy you want to be on the plane with or in front of you in line. Hopefully I'm not the only one.
60 comments :
I'm the same way. With respect to our elderly brothers and sisters, there's nothing more annoying then being stuck behind someone in a grocery line while they fight and argue for ten minutes over a coupon to save two dollars.
I feel the same way. People are waiting on me, so I need to make sure I get this done as quickly as possible. I *plan* my escape.
Years ago, I was behind a woman at the front of the checkout line, who wasted everyone's time on her incessant phone conversation. In mid-conversation, she laughed at the expressions of annoyance on the faces of everyone behind her, then went back to her phone conversation.
I suppose most of the inconsiderate behavior is just thoughtless, but that particular checkout experience was almost adversarial.
FYI, I'm not a boomer (although I'm Gen X, so not too far behind).
Impeccable timing. The Beloved spouse and i flew back to Maryland from New Orleans on Christmas Day after spending the week with our daughter. I remember commenting on how slowly people were disembarking, even to the point that there was no one ahead of them in the aisle and they were stoll sitting there as if still taxiing.
Back in the day, when we wrote checks everywhere, it used to drive me crazy when the (sorry, but usually) lady in front of me waited until all her items were checked in, THEN she would dig through her purse, find her checkbook, fill out the check, and finally give it to the clerk. I always had mine all filled out (except the amount) before I got to the front of the line. So yeah, we boomers appreciate people like you who don't inconvenience others.
Same doctrine at a stop light.
If you are the first car, your only job is to keep your eyes on the light.
If you are the second car, you have to keep one eye on the light, one eye on the first car, and a hand on the horn.
If you are the third car...
It's called "society" and we all have our assignments.
How about the people who wait in line for some time and then search for their wallet when the get to the front.
Your not. I hate to inconvenience others. I'm very aware of that when I drive. I often make moves to accommodate the drivers around me knowing it will never occur to them that I did so. I just think life is better when people consider the interests of others. Being thoughtful is a good thing even when it goes unrecognized. So good for you!
I tend to feel the same way. When I'm crossing the street, I hurry through the intersection so as to not block it, and get impatient with people who just slowly drift through it.
There is one thing I will plead guilty to, though, and that is waiting to figure out what I want until I get to the counter. If I can read the menu while I'm in line, I'll figure it out ahead of time, but often you can't see it clearly when you're a few customers back (especially in drive-throughs). Businesses could probably speed up their lines a little by having a second menu a few paces back.
I pride myself on anyone waiting behind me in line not having to wait long. I like to think it's because I have consideration for others but it might also be because I'm very impatient. I do what I need to do and step aside. I've never actually done this but many is the time I've wanted yell out, "Thank you SOOOOO much for holding up this line!" I call people holding up lines in fast food places Columbos. They always want one more thing.
At the drive-thru Starbucks...how about those people who DON'T PULL UP ALL THE WAY...!
It's a LINE...let's keep it moving.
I think Larry David did a bit on 'line moving' last week.
It ain't a Boomer thing---as George Costanza said, "we're living in a Society."
Ken: We are brothers from different mothers since I feel the same way. When grabbing my bag out of an overhead compartment I try to do it as fast as possible to avoid holding anyone up. I was raised to open & close the fridge as fast as I could since according to my dad, "I was letting the cold out." Also, working the garbage disposal was to be done for a short a period as possible since the grinding sound was obviously harmful to the machine. When I am in line at the bank, everyone's transaction ahead of me takes a few minutes each while mine takes 15 seconds. My latest pet peeves include people pushing shopping cards erattically while on their cell phone and I have always found it to be disrespectful when someone stays on their phone while receiving service.
Same thing with your debit/credit card. You don't have to wait (usually) to insert your card and then enter your PIN number, you can do it before the cashier finishes tallying your order, and voila, you're done!
A while ago I saw a news clip of a group of dumbfuck anti vaxxers screaming in a school meeting. One of the women shrieked "I'm an American citizen and that gives me the right to be as rude as I like!"
That's the kind of cunt who'll hold up everyone else in a line, goes to church and votes Republican.
Spot on here, Ken.
Just flew from Indianapolis to Seattle and back for the holidays. Direct flights, thank God. But I was stuck in the back row aisle seat on both flights, 737s where there are three bathrooms at the rear. I swear, at least half the passengers must have gotten up to piss, many of them twice. As soon as that seat-belt light goes out, ten people get up. Of course, when that line develops, you're stuck with these people hovering over your shoulder, looking down at you, leaning against your seat (which then leans correspondingly), coughing, etc. Then, when they flush, you get that wonderfully loud sound behind you because the sound of the engine wash wasn't loud enough already. This...allllllll the way to the destination, until the flight attendants mercifully lock the bathrooms for descent. I'm shocked that people can't hold their bladders for four hours.
By the time we arrived on both ends, and the speaker above me started blaring Christmas music (because WHERE else was I going to hear...oh wait, never mind), I had turned up my earbuds as loud as they'd go and was frazzled just from the sounds. Cue up your comments and of course that meant another 10 minutes+ of watching people stuff shit in their bags that they can't carry to the terminal in their other hands.
All in all, Alaska provided me with a decent service. But it certainly is the airline for the incontinent.
Robert Benchley’s
“Kiddie-Kar Travel” from “Pluck and Luck“ (1925) begins:
“In America there are two classes of travel—first class, and with children. Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third-class in Bulgaria. They tell me there is nothing lower in the world than third-class Bulgarian travel.”
For the entire book:
https://archive.org/details/pluckluck0000benc
I've learned a lesson from decades of trying to get out of the way, step aside and change lanes to avoid inconveniencing other motorists, pedestrians, de-planers, etc. No matter where I move to in trying to be considerate, I'll end up being more in somebody's way than I would have been if I'd just stayed where I was. It is an eternally-losing battle.
Every flight I’ve been on for years has the same four people on it:
1) Guy who insists on trying to ram a bag that clearly won’t fit into the overhead, who then spins around and looks annoyed at the flight attendant, as if to say ‘why is this plane inconveniencing me?’
2) Guy who has backpack on as he boards the plane and walks down the aisle, oblivious to the fact that he is hitting every person with the bag who is already sitting down.
3) Guy who gets up as soon as the plane lands and is going to try to race off the plane before everyone else, even though he’s in row 37. Why do you think you are entitled to get off before everyone else in front of you?
4) Guy at baggage claim who will come and stand RIGHT IN FRONT IF YOU as you’re waiting for your bag so you now can’t see which bags are coming off.
Bob Paris! Bob Paris! Bob Paris! I forgot about "letting the cold out"! That was one of my mother's many weird hang-ups. She also had an issue with putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher after it had been run and emptied out after dinner. She seemed to think that if a dirty dish sat overnight in the dishwasher, it would trigger a chain reaction leading to the destruction of the Earth. The same applied to sitting on the beds and leaving water droplets in the bathroom sink.
People can be pigs. I have no comprehension of that behavior. I was raised to be prompt, and considerate. I also move quickly whenever possible. People who wait until the END of a transaction to pull out their wallets are just awful fuckers.
People have started avoiding baggage fees, by dragging everything but the kitchen sink onto the plane. I only carry my computer bag, which goes under the seat.
If I am sick, I cancel my trip. There is nothing worse than sitting next to somebody with a cold, on a plane. They fucking sniff every twenty seconds, for the three hour flight. I also carry tissues when flying, and offer the package to them, so they get the hint. WHO doesn't know they are fucking sniffing every twenty seconds. It's gross.
Oh, and the bastards who take off their shows. WTF is this, Greyhound in the sky???
I remember my first flight - Thanksgiving 1980 - first year at Tulane in New Orleans. Flew to Memphis. I wore a coat and tie, and there were only two people on the jet. Forty-one years ago, flying was still special. It wasn't a goddamn Uber trip. (And, yes, I am super-considerate to Uber drivers.)
You try to be considerate of others. There are still some of us out there.
Darwin's Ghost sometimes seems — from his language — to have more of a problem with women than with anti-vaxxers. His political posts might be more effective and appreciated if he focused his ire on the source of so many of our problems — the wealthy. They’ve, for instance, created and spread Covid lies — and fought masks and mandates — for their own financial and political interests.
An egregious example: billionaire Ken Griffin, who has donated $10.75M over the years to anti-mandate/mask Gov. DeSantis, also is a $37M investor in Regeneron, a potion made much less necessary where masks and the vaxx prevail. DeSantis’s immune-suppressed spouse —cancer —even appears with the Gov. — mask-less — in his endless public appearances. What price Presidency?
I'm with you. Between living in NYC at a tornado's pace I worked in film where time is money. I really hate waiting in line for anybody.
Ken, I often think that way as well. I believe it's the result of many years of format clocks, tight boards and no dead air. We're a different bread, even though we haven't done it in 25 years. It's still in there. :-)
A re-edited, shortened, but still unfunny, comment :
Two travel improvements would be:
• to limit passenger carry-ons to a single lap-held Hefty bag filled only with soft items
• to build planes sideways, so that there’s just one row, 150 seats wide
The time saved by implementing these two simple steps would allow airlines to schedule ten more cancelled flights daily.
Clearly it is not just you!
I apologize any time I'm holding up the flow of whatever, and have been known to apologize at a checkout station even if there's no line behind me, which probably takes it to a new level of neurosis!
But I really think you're just considerate of other people's time and that's golden in today's rush-rush culture.
This is an easy one. When you open a swinging door, be aware of anyone behind you and hold the door--don't let it slam in their face. Maybe some people assume the door closes slowly enough for the next person to grab it, I don't know. You have no idea what that says to a human being. If you forget and the door does close in someone's face, do the thing that magazines, "expert" websites and other media tell you NOT to do, apologize.
Ken, you might get a kick out of this slice of groovy airline whimsy from the late sixties, featuring someone you worked with on "Frasier"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHVS19_vO2A
It all falls down to consideration. Many people believe they are first, should always be first, and everyone else should be behind them. It is their right. Me me me.
This is the same mentality with shots, it is my right not to get it, because it is my right. Even though it hurts others, my rights.
But there has been, and will always be, rude people. As well as considerate people. Hopefully in the future there will still be more considerate people than in-considerate.
Ever stood behind someone in a long line at a convenience store who is buying scratch-off tickets and treating the place like its his personal slot machine? "I won five dollars, now give me two of those pink ones, one of those, wait a minute, what are these? I'll take one of them, and then I want a, no, I think I'll have better luck with a . . . ."
Helen, given that my recent political comments were all about the orange turd and a MAGAT man who said "Let's go, Brandon", your accusation of sexism doesn't hold water.
Your general point is partially correct. It's wealthy Republicans who are helping in the dissemination of deranged conspiracy theories and misinformation.
Besides agreeing with all that Ken said, I'll throw this in. When I come to a traffic light, if I am at the front of the right lane, I try to get over to the next lane so that people behind me can turn right if I am not going to. I think it's just being nice. Naturally, someone pulls up and sits there while a bunch of people behind them wait to turn right.
Person halfway through checking out their groceries remembers they forgot pretzels; expects the checker and those in line wait patiently while they go back to fetch a couple bags.
Long line at Baskin-Robbins. Instead of reading the list of flavors posted on the wall, they wait until they get to the front of the line to ponder their purchase, often requesting samples as they do. In the meantime, the line continues to extend.
Second in line at the wholesale club last week. The person in front of me had four items. Once rung up, the person said they couldn't find an item they wanted. The checkout person told them where it was. The person proceeded to leave the line, go back through the store, find their item and return.
But wait, there's more.
They then asked about a second item, which they also went back into the store to find. At that point the checkout person sheepishly said "Sorry" to the rest of us. I sighed, went to the self-checkout and rung up my 15 items in less than a minute. As I rolled by the other line, that person still hadn't check out.
I would never do something like that, but some people are just oblivious.
Been there 🤣🤣🤣 https://xmastime.blogspot.com/2005/11/alls-i-want-is-freaking-paper-people.html?m=0
I feel like some people just have a brain that's closer to a dog's.
They have low awareness and are barely conscious.
The thought that they might be blocking someone will never enter their consciousness. They have zero ability to predict the future.
There used to be this protocol: if you have a connecting flight, and you are worried you may miss it-explain that to your fellow passengers then as soon as allowed get out of your seat, grab your carry-ons, and exit the plane. If you're arriving at your final destination, then stay in your seat and let others get off the plane first.
On airplanes, I wait for everybody else to gather their stuff and leave before I grab my carry-on and stand up. I've noticed that once the first ten rows or so have cleared, it's smooth walking to deplane with no standing.
This also works on passenger trains. I took the VIA Rail between Montreal and Ottawa, and the guy on the other side of me and I decided to wait for the slog of people to clear. During our wait, he and I were joking in French along the lines of, "What's the rush? The line clears when the line clears, why stress yourselves out?"
As for Baskin-Robbins and the like, I always hang back while looking at the menu, and don't approach the counter until I've made up my mind. Easier for the employees and other customers.
I'm the same way. My motto is, "you're not waiting on me..."
Hate to say it because it sounds mean, but I use a person's awareness of their surroundings (and their awareness of how they're impacting others) as a surreptitious intelligence test. In fairness, I do feel bad for the obtuse people who "fail" my little test. And I use the results of my test to feel sorry for them, and put up with them, not get too upset with them. I think that it's ignorance, not arrogance, on their part. At least I tell myself that!
On a related note, I saw redesigned model to make the middle seat the most comfortable and roomiest on an airplane. The middle seat is wider than the window and aisle seats, and it's set a couple of inches back to reduce armrest competition. COVID has probably delayed implementation of this system, but when/if normalcy returns I'm interested how travelers take to it, and if might also help speed up boarding procedures.
https://thepointsguy.com/news/molon-labe-new-staggered-economy-aircraft-seats/
The "OK Boomer" aspect is not applicable. This sort of rudeness cuts across all ages.
My misery is going to the supermarket. It usually seems to be virtually all or nothing in the quality of my fellow shoppers. One trip will see an army of oblivious nitwits, pushing, stopping, turning their carts without any apparent idea other people could crash into them. Standing in front of the soup section, idly pondering what can to buy, uncaring that they're blocking view and access for everyone else. And when I say "Excuse me", they turn in baffled indifference that I should interrupt their bovine contemplation.
LUCKILY, the are the other trips where shoppers are aware of their surroundings and fellow humans, apologize, scooch to make room, and occasionally engage in friendly small talk. Those trips are such life-affirming bliss.
No, Ken, I realize that this may shock some people in this day and age, but what you are demonstrating is what we at least used to call "courtesy" and "thoughtfulness."
Those, sadly, have become increasingly rare commodities these days.
Darwin's Ghost: Did you previously post comments as Troy McClure? I've not seen his name in the comments section for quite some time and yet your comments appear to be very, very similar in style to what he use to post?
Just curious.
This is one of the reasons I love living in the Twin Tiers area of upstate New York and northern Pennsylvania. I was born here and have spent most of my life here. Currently, I'm in Binghamton, just a few miles from where I was born in 1966.
This area is always just a bit behind the times, but that's not such a bad thing. People are courteous to each other in public. I can't begin to keep track of how many times someone with a cart full of groceries has offered to let me go ahead of them in line when I have just a few things. I do it, in return, whenever I can.
Waiting for a B.C. Transit bus and not sure if you've missed it or not? No problem. Just ask someone else at the bus stop or call the office to ask. Your chances that another person has a copy of the schedule is better than fifty-fifty. If there are several people waiting to board the bus, most everyone lines up neatly and waits patiently. The same goes when a bus reaches the Junction, which is where most of the routes begin and end. No one pushes to get off the bus, nor does anyone hardly ever take too much time.
And just about everyone says "Thank you" to the driver when getting off the bus.
I won't name names, but there's a city just about an hour from here in Pennsylvania
where I lived for just over a year and people there were the rudest and most inconsiderate of any place, I've ever lived in. And that includes San Francisco.
I’m with you, Ken! I also have my stuff together any time I am on any kind of line, especially at store check outs. I always tend to emd up behind someone (usually a woman) who remembers that she had forgotten to get something and disappears to the back of the store in the middle of the transaction, holding everyone else in line hostage.
I found this gem on YouTube when I was searching for something today.
You were the cover story on "Major League Baseball Magazine" 30 years ago.
https://youtu.be/1-vcuv5ZROw
I'm that way, too. I hate holding people up.
I'm like that too. If I'm in line at Target or Walmart with people behind me and I have a gift card or coupon and there's even the slightest problem, I say just forget it and pay with my credit card. Never has anyone in front of me done that.
I blame it on this bullshit statement that "the customer is always right". The new owner of the theater I work at is absolutely against that crap. In my rapidly advancing age I find I have no patience for morons holding up the line, in general just being in my way. I had one guy who is a regular that came into my theater and basically just pulled up to the box office and parked his car there as he asked a series of questions that were just designed to waste my time. He just kept looking back to see how many cars were behind him and as the line stretched further and further, you could see his wife just getting embarrassed. Finally told him "I know what little bullshit power trip you're on so pick a show or get out!" He quickly chose a movie and roared off. Come back to concession stand and he's in the line there asking "How much is this, how much is that? What do you mean I have to put the condiments on?" etc. etc. etc. He didn't see me, standing off to the side and as he's smirking at all the people he was holding up and laughing about it I stepped up and told him" I told you at the box office I wanted no more of your crap so leave the building" Told the kids not to serve him and threw him out while he was sputtering all the way. He came back later and never had a problem with him after that.
At a grocery store [rhymes with TallFart] cashier rang up an old lady and after the final ring up she gets the receipt and starts pulling stuff out of her bag, one at a time, and demanding to know why he charged her THAT price for the item. After she started on a 2nd bag I threw my shit down and walked out of the store. Life is too short to put up with such complete bullshit like that. There were people literally yelling at her and she just ignored it and kept up with the interrogation of the cashier. The poor guy was just about ready to break down crying.
I can put up with it if it's some little kid having a hard time deciding what he wants or somebody a little older and a bit confused. But for the most part I'm done being Mr Nice Guy if stores, plane trips, etc. want to treat me like I am dog shit or if it's some customer at my place being on a little Hitler power trip.
Oh, and day after Christmas one grocery store had ONE, just ONE cashier to ring up everybody. Manager had done a disappearing act. They had turned off the self serve registers cause "we don't have anyone to monitor them to make sure customers aren't ripping us off." They made customers that were in line move to DIFFERENT registers three times when the ones she were on malfunctioned. Several of them left full carts of groceries and walked out of the store. The poor cashier was so frustrated that she was crying. The company decided that they're not going to pay any of their workers anything more than the mandated state/federal law minimum wage [and this is a union store]. Meanwhile other stores are paying anywhere from $12-$18 an hour now. And I was told one cashier quit in the middle of ringing up a customer when they began yelling at her and management just stood there watching it happen. She Basically said "I am NOT taking shit from you. Screw you, screw this store, I quit!" Supposedly drove right to Walmart and was hired on the spot for double what she was making at the union store.
My mantra has always been get in, get my stuff and get out ASAP. Don't dawdle, don't kibbutz, get done, get to my car so I can rip my fucking mask off.
YEKIMI = Howard Beale
I'm so courteous I let everyone else comment ahead of me. The worst is at Costco when people show their ID and then once they're just inside the door they'll stop to put their ID away and ponder just what they'll be purchasing in the store while everyone behind them has to come to an immediate stop, backing out to the parking lot.
Max, you've never had a dog, have you? Because your comment is very mean. Comparing dogs to low awareness, barely conscious, brain deprived, so-called humans. Dogs are miles above!
There was the time I was on a flight that was making a stop ... somewhere. I had a DVD player and was watching Hollywoodland, the then-recent Ben Affleck film about Superman actor George Reeves's death. There on my screen was Ben running around in the blue and red. I noticed a guy who was waiting to get off the plane and was standing just behind me in the aisle. He was looking me in the eye and smirking; I guess he thought I was watching an actual Superman movie or TV show. I paused the film, rose halfway and said, "Problem?" I'm really tall and can be really scary. No, there was no problem, thank yew veddy much. Away he went, faster than a speeding bullet.
And let us not forget those thoughtful souls who plunk down 25 items on the checkout counter that clearly displays a lighted sign that says 7 items or less.
I also love it when I hold a door open for a woman. Some will walk by you as fast as possible without thanking you because if they're quick then that negates good manners, or so they think.
The joy of letting another car in ahead of you and the person doesn't acknowledge you at all with a thank you wave.
Yep Ken, good manners are in short supply these days.
Kevin in CC- I grew up in Binghamton. I used to turn off people's car lights when they left them on, back in the day when people's cars were unlocked. I live in Albany now and often give people bus info via the navigator app. "The 182 is coming in five minutes." Said that to someone today.
In general, I think that 90% of the difficulties in life are caused by oblivious people. Being the third car in line and honking at the car in front of you, waiting because the first car doesn't want to run over a pedestrian just adds to noise pollution and ill will.
And yes, three years younger than you, Ken, and I'm actively looking to make the world kinder and easier. So yes. Not so much on planes since I've only been on one set of flights since 2009, but the premise is the same in other venues.
It is disappointing to see the use of the "C" word in comments on this fine blog.
I always always ALWAYS try to be one of the last ones off. (Although if I am making a connecting flight and it's relatively close, I do try to take my place "in line.") And the only carry-on I take fits under the seat. I avoid putting things in the overhead bins.
Ken, I'm like you. And not just when getting out of the aisle of a plane. I think I stress myself unreasonably by being this way. It's not as if there's a fire anywhere, but I seem to be in such a hurry to get the job done, whatever it is, and get to the next moment that I pressure the hell out of myself. I'm trying to stop doing that. -Kate
Interesting conjecture about consumers' bad behavior in an Atlantic article:
AMERICAN SHOPPERS ARE A NIGHTMARE
Customers were this awful long before the pandemic.
By Amanda Mull
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