I'm guesting next month on a podcast called Fire & Water. Not sure when it will drop. But it's a podcast devoted to MASH and delving into specific episodes. They had gotten to our first, "Out of Sight/Out of Mind" and that's why they invited me. But it brought back a lot of memories. Many I have expressed already in this blog. But I thought it might be fun to re-post a entry from 2012, all about that first episode and the speech that launched our career. So travel back with me...
The end result is we wrote Hawkeye a big speech. We didn’t know whether the producers even wanted a monologue. It wasn’t in the outline. But we felt (a) it was a good character moment, and (b) showed initiative on our part.
We turned in the script. Gene Reynolds, the showrunner, loved it – especially the speech. From then on he kept giving us assignments and that first script, as our new writing sample when our agent submitted us for things, was our golden ticket.
I do believe that speech was the turning point in our career. Please consider that when you’re writing your spec. Not saying you need to include a poignant monologue (especially if you’re writing a WHITNEY), but you do need to put in the effort, time, and diligence necessary to make your script just that much better than whatever else is out there. Wait. Let me amend that. Do everything necessary except blindfolding yourself and walking up Beverly Glenn. You’re not going to get a lot of job offers if you’re dead. Even Chayesfksy's phone no longer rings.
Here is that “speech”. It’s from the
episode “Out of Sight/Out of Mind”, season five. Hawkeye has been
rather manic and BJ tries to get him to settle down.
BJ: Listen. Why don’t you just settle down for five minutes? I know what you’re trying to do, and I know how you feel.
HAWKEYE: I don’t think so.
BJ: You don’t want to think about what might happen to you. So you keep running…
HAWKEYE: That’s not it. Look, when Dr. Overman walks in tomorrow and unwraps my pacage, I hope to God I’ll have my sight back. But in the meantime, something fascinating has happened to me.
BJ: How’s that, Hawk?
HAWKEYE: One part of the world closed down for me, but another part opened up. Sure, I’ve been seeing myself sitting on a corner with a tin cup selling thermometers. But, I’m going through something here I didn’t expect. This morning I spent two incredible hours listening to a rainstorm. I didn’t just hear it, I was part of it. I’ll bet you never realized that rain hitting the ground makes the same noise as steaks when they barbecue, or that thunder seems to echo forever. And you can’t believe how funny it is to hear someone slip and fall in the mud. Had to be Burns. Beej, it’s full of trapdoors, but I think there may almost be some advantage to this. I’ve never spent a more conscious day in my life.
13 comments :
I was watching this episode the other day on one of the channels which regularly shows M*A*S*H. it's great. and the imagery from the speech is perfect.
Yes, that was a very memorable episode!
Thanks for reminding me why I loved M*A*S*H, and why it was so worthy of that love.
The speech was lovely and, gee, I wonder how play-by-play recreation worked its way into the story ....
As a 9-year-old kid I didn't fully understand Korea/Vietnam, but I liked Hawkeye.
Fascinated how he could be so serious one minute and crack one liners the next.
That was a strong episode, quality kick ass television.
Always been hooked on MASH.
The lesson I got from the story was a s a little different from the time you put into the speech. What I sensed was that you reached the conclusion that a speech where Hawkeye sums up his experience was necessary to the episode and, despite having no direction as to whether such a speech fit into the terms of your assignment, added it because you really believed in it. Dollars to Donuts, Gene could sense that passion in the speech. You could have knocked out the perfect speech first draft, but it was the belief that that was how the episode had to be capped that mattered and the conviction with which you wrote what you believed.
It's good to know that Mashcast is at least recording again. They have been on hiatus for more than a third of a year. The podcast takes episodes in broadcast order and discusses them one a week. When they eventually come back your episode should be the third one played. I don't think they'll make "Bug Out" a two part episode.
http://fireandwaterpodcast.com/show/mashcast/
I guess writing a spec script for "Two Broke Girls" was a lot easier. You just had to throw in the word "vagina" every three sentences.
Hi! This is Rob, host of the podcast Ken mentioned here.
The show is called M*A*S*HCast, and it's part of the Fire and Water Podcast Network, which comprises dozens of shows on movies, TV, comics, music, etc. You can find all the episodes of the show here: http://fireandwaterpodcast.com/show/mashcast
The most recent episode is an interview with Mike Farrell, and we'll be starting our look at SSN 5 shortly.
The show is also available on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, all the usual locations!
The attaboy that really counted was Gene Reynolds' - but I'll give you another here.
Every time you refer to this monolouge, I think of something more like the Gettysburg Address - so this seemed "short".
Momma Bear would say its Just Right.
FQ topic? - Not impugning your tight Hawkeye monologue, but speaking of monologues, the '70s seemed to be the golden age of heavyhanded preachy soliloquies. Watching a few Quincy reruns recently, I was struck by one which was about some rare disease, where Quincy went on a monologue bender about "if only people would write their Congressmen to make the big drug companies fund research to cure rare diseases", and another long one about extra-flammable mattresses and (paraphrasing) "why don't people get government involved to regulate manufacturing chemicals in the beds of sleepy smokers" (that one written by Robert Crais, no slouch in the crime novel biz years later) Did showrunners of a certain era feel like they needed to soapbox their audiences about pet causes, or was it the stars who wanted to speak out about whatever cause struck their fancy? (Or maybe it was just that show and I'm overreaching...)
Great writing, and great acting on Alan Alda's part...
McTom,
I recently viewed an episode of the Golden Girls wherein Dorothy is diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Following her diagnosis -- a diagnosis that other doctor(s) couldn't make -- she is enjoying time dinner with her friends. There and then she spies one the doctors who misdiagnosed her, diagnosed her as just getting old.
She stands up, walks over to his table, and confronts him.
I suppose this was supposed to be an "attaboy" moment. "You tell him, Dorothy. That guy is callous quack. CFS is real, damnit!"
I found the moment cringeworthy. It somehow seemed, um, uncharitable.
For similar reasons I can't fall in love with MASH. Hawkeye is too right, too often. The fight never seems fair. So, he doesn't seem like a hero for taking up the fight.
I often wish Hawkeye was on that plane to Japan.
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