Sunday, July 01, 2007

Okay I'm weird but everyone is weird

I've been tagged. Challenged to list five of my weird habits. The real challenge is to hold it down to five.

1) In a restaurant, theatre, or any public place I can’t be seated anywhere near a child. This made it very difficult when I had my own small children. It’s not that I don’t love kids. I just love them more when they’re locked away in your home.

2) I don’t like anyone looking over my shoulder when I’m writing, be it a script, email, or love letters to Jessica Alba or Sandy Koufax.

3) I listen to 60’s music when I write. And this includes radio station jingles from the era and Joanie Sommers Pepsi commercials. I love Joanie Sommers.

4) I can’t watch an old black and white movie from the 30’s or 40’s without thinking “everyone I’m looking at is dead”. Not that this spoils my enjoyment.

5) I go through breakfast phases. I eat the same thing every day for a couple of years and then switch. Currently it’s macadamia nuts and raisins. If I ever switch to Lucky Charms get “old Betsy” off the wall and shoot me.

6) I have no blood so I always dress warm. Stop making fun of Cosby for wearing those sweaters. They look cool.

7) I'm afraid if I install any computer program I'm going to hit the wrong button and crash every computer on the planet. I call this Y2Ken.

8) As a former disc jockey, I still talk-up records in my car. Right up to the vocal. I’m a master at this. It’s maybe my greatest skill…which is unfortunate since it’s also utterly useless. KHJ Boss Radio is not coming back anytime soon.

9) I try to read “Confederacy of Dunces” once a year for inspiration.

10) I watch HOUSE and believe I have whatever mystery ailment the patient of the week has. My wife then assures me that bleeding out of my eyes is normal, just drink a glass of water.

Okay, so what are some of yours?


Mego said...

Mego's 5 Wierdest Habits:

a) I cannot drink milk if there are only 3, 2, or 1 more days until it is due. I am super paranoid of due date on EVERYTHING.

b) All my towels, facecloths, dish towels, clothes, etc. have to be folded in 3's. It drives me crazy when they are folded in half.

c) I hate when our society decides to eat pineapple as if it is a vegetable rather than a fruit. Pineapple does NOT go good on pizza guys.

d) I am unable to watch even previews of scary movies, without being scared of the images for the next week.

e) I am young, and I date guys that are within 7 years of my age, but I more often than guys in my range, think that guys 30 years older than I am are HOT HOT HOT.

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Andrew Steven Harris said...

Drew's 5 weirdest habits:

1. When I eat at a restaurant, I can't sit with my back facing to the door that I came in. If that's the only seat available, I actually have to go find another door to walk into the room from.

2. I can't wear white socks. My feet won't sit still until I change them. Black's a favorite, but green or brown or grey will do just fine.

3. I can remember lines from movies I've seen only once 10 years ago. My wife might flip through channels, land on one, and I'll say the next line. This happens about once a week. I continue to be unable to make money off of this.

4. Almost all my dreams have a celebrity in them. Usually someone having nothing to do with me, or the dream. The most recent one was Tim Robbins, who walked into my dream and hit me on the head with a briefcase, then ran away.

5. I once urinated next to Walter Mondale, and looked. How could you not?



Anonymous said...

I love full ice cream tubs and the same goes for milk, orange juice, cereal, Cheez-Its, and any other packaged foods. But I don't finish them. I always leave them almost empty and someone else in the family finishes them.

Anonymous said...

My five weird habits/things:

1- No matter how short or long a distance I'm walking, I need to get on the same side of the street as my destination as quickly as possible.

2- I can name several dozen songs from hearing just the first note or two (anyone wanna bring back "Name That Tune" so I can make some $$$ from this talent?)

3- I own some dvd's with old drive-in intermission shorts on them, and play them in between movies when friends and I are watching two in a row.

4- I refuse to listen to "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" in anything other than the original mono mix.

5- None of the songs on my I-Pod are from any later than 1980.

Richard Cooper said...

I have no weird habits, addictions, or peccadillos.

Unless you count muting the tv whenever Madonna has dialogue that doesn't involve singing the words.

blogward said...

Ok, I'm going out right now to buy 'A Confederacy of Dunces'.

Anonymous said...

a) In a restaurant I like to be in the farthest seat and facing the door. Also, if I'm in a restaurant with booths, I have to sit at one--normal tables julst pale in the presence of booths.

b) I can only use teaspoons for stirring; for eating they just waste my time--give me a damn tablespoon for my ice cream and cereal. The exception being yogurt from it's package, but in this case you gotta have a plastic teaspoon.

Anonymous said...

I guess the door thing isn't so wierd after all.

1) I have to be seated facing the door or exit in whatever public place I'm in.

2) I noticed within the last year- went I'm on the phone with someone that I don't want to talk to... I start rubbing the back of my neck with my left hand as I try to wrap up the call

3)I'm a freak for Banana Nut Crunch. I will eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner until its gone.

4) I can NEVER listen to an entire song. I always hit the next button when it gets to the end.

5) I don't carry a purse.

6) I'm a freak for edamame

7) I am obsessed with Jason Mraz.

8) I have only one sex dream a year and it always involes a celeb. It's usually someone I'm not attracted to when I'm awake.


Ger Apeldoorn said...

1. Psychological: I can't close a door behind me without a concious effort.

2. Clever: I crack all of the egg shell before pealing it.

3. Afraid to ask if it's weird, but it's certainly different from what I have learned: I clean my ass from the front.

none said...

hey lucky charms are wonderful!

Anonymous said...

1. I also MUST face the door in a restaurant. It's so bad, when I see someone in a corner table facing the wall, it makes me nervous for them!

2.on the odd occasion that I have them, these days, I dip my french fries in my chocolate shake.. it's delicious.. no, really...

3. I put mayo on hotdogs

4.I can name that Broadway musical in one note!

5.I must read Ken's blog and Doonesbury on line every day

Benton Harbor said...

Whatever happened to Joanie Summers? Talk about someone who disappeared off the face of the entertainment world. My knees would get week just looking at her picture on her album cover!

om said...

interesting :]

Rob said...

Rob's Weirdest Habits

1) In honor of Mego, I can't spell weird or sadly, intelligent.

2) I'm stealing this one.... I don’t like anyone looking over my shoulder when I’m writing, be it a script, email, or love letters to Jessica Alba or Sandy Koufax.

3) I like to read in the bathroom. I like reading off the internet. I need to sterilize my laptop.

4) I put classic music on my mp3 player (NO IPOD FOR ME!) that I know I should like but that I immediately zip past every time it comes on.

5) I buy CDs of classic albums I know I should like then never listen to them.

6) I check this absolutely hysterical blog every day, but only on my cell phone. Think Clerks at Wal-Mart:

7) I tend to eat all of one food before moving on to another food on my plate.

8) I play the same numbers week after week in the Lottery, and if I miss a day, I check the lottery numbers as though I'm defusing a bomb, covering them with my hand and moving across, as though checking them slowly will keep my numbers from showing up.

Some courtesy of my wife:

1) I am anal about parking inside the lines in a parking space and being equidistant.

2) I cannot listen to more than 30 seconds of any song before moving on.

3) I insist on playing drums on the steering wheel and singing every song that comes on.

L.C. said...

Hmmm, finding just a few weird things I do is not easy.
1.) When I eat cornbread I like to put ketchup on it. I think I learned that from my Dad when i was too young to know better.
2.) I check my shoes for spiders before I put them on, even if they've only been off my feet for a short time.
3.) I like to watch (cringe) old episodes of shoes like "Father Knows Best" and "The Facts of Life."

There are so many more, heh.

Anonymous said...

1. When with my daughter, I pretend to know what Jane's Addiction is...

2. I married my wife for the sound of her voice...(the other stuff is neat, too)

3. I live out-of-sync with the rest of the world. I stay home on holidays, hit the grocery store at night, all because I hate crowds.

4. Hope there's a heaven for everyone else's sake, but in my head I really don't think it exists. Really like the concept as believed by the Muslim extremists, tho...

5. Have a slip of paper under my computer screen that reads, "Be kind."

Anonymous said...

We are an ... interesting bunch, aren't we? :-)

1) If I am eating a piece of cake or a cupcake, I always eat the cake first and save all of the icing for last.

2) I prefer to use a tablespoon for soup only - for every other "spoon-worthy" food (e.g., ice cream; chili), I much prefer to use a teaspoon.

3) I tend to re-use paper dixie cups at the bathroom sink for about a week, instead of tossing them in the trash after a single use. It always seems like such a waste to throw them out after using them for only a couple of sips of water. (My husband hates this, and tends to do reconnaissance missions to throw my cup out when I'm not around.)

4) I, too, hate to write ANYTHING on my computer if someone is looking at what I'm typing.

5) When I exit the shower, I position my towel so that the tag is at the bottom left corner of the towel as it's facing me.

6) I tend to proofread everything, whether I've written it or not. Grammatical or spelling errors bug me, I spot them easily, and I tend to proof even my own postings on message boards and my emails before I hit "send".

7) Even in the warmest weather, I can't sleep if I don't have some semblance of a cover (blanket, sheet, or comforter) on myself.

8) I almost always have some song or another going through my head - even when I wake up. It's not even necessarily I song I like.

Anonymous said...

1. I work on a computer all day, and I hate when people walk by and see my screen. I even installed a program, so if I hit both left and right mouse buttons, my browser will hide itself.

2. I purposely set my alarm an hour before I need to get up, so I can hit snooze a bunch of times and go back to sleep over and over.

3. I time getting out of bed in the morning, so I can hit the ground running, meaning I can eat, shower, get ready for work, and leave one right after another. If I even have five minutes of doing nothing in the morning, it throws off the rest of my day.

4. I hate tucking my shirt into my pants.

5. I get nervous driving in the far left lane, because if my car breaks down, I have to get all the way to the right.

Mary Stella said...

Hmm, since some of these are things I choose not to do, I don't think they can be called habits, but here goes...

1) I read Gone with the Wind once a year. It's like visiting an old familiar friend. I first read the book when I was 13 and read it a few times a year in the "early days". So, I've read it from beginning to end over 40 times.

2) I won't sit in the first row of an airplane. Guess I can cross "getting a pilot's license" off of my things to do list.

3) I don't eat seafood of any kind. (Yes, that includes lobster.) I'm not allergic. I don't like the taste, the texture, the smell. I love to go fishing but gladly turn over the catch for someone else's dinner. I haven't eaten a fish meal since Vatican II and even back then I limited the intake to fish sticks loaded with ketchup.

4) Since everyone else mentioned seating preferences in restaurants -- I don't like sitting with my back to the rest of the patrons. Maybe in a previous life I was shot in the back in a saloon, but I prefer to sit with my back to a wall. When seated at a table in the middle of the room, I solve the dilemma by choosing the side that's closest to a wall, even if the advantage is largely psychological.

5) I can't think of a 5th thing to list. Perhaps my other weird habit is denial. *g*

I hope Tallulah shares her list.

Brian Scully said...

1. When helping someone carry a piece of furniture, I always make THEM walk backwards.

2. I just know that I'm allergic to any food that looks funny.

3. I'm more afraid of a bee in the car than a terrorist on an airplane.

4. I want to kill any salesman who has ever tried to sell me a service contract after having convinced me to buy his freakin' tv or appliance because it is SO dependable. Yeah, I'm talking to YOU, Circuit City.

5. I think sandwich shops toast the bread because they don't want you to know it's stale.

Anonymous said...

God, it seems my list is infinite. These are nowhere near my weirdest habits, but among the few to which I will admit.

1. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people by age. Such as, when I was 32 I realized I was the same age as Alexander The Great was when he died. And I hadn't accomplished nearly as much. This year I realized that George Orwell died when he was my age and my literary career pales in comparison to his (and virtually anyone else's).

2. When I was a teenager I taught myself how to a continuous 180-degree reverse spin-turn to forward without stopping in a car (commonly called a "Rockford" since private eye Jim Rockford was proficient at them on "The Rockford Files"). If I don't do that a couple times a week, I'm a complete mental wreck. It's hell on tires.

3. For a solid year I couldn't fall asleep unless I was playing the DVD of the 1970 film "Airport" on my TV. For the next year it was 1982's "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn." Currently I'm addicted to 1977's "Slap Shot."

4. I started collecting Hot Wheels when I was seven years old. I still by a couple dozen a month. And I have more than 5000 cars.

5. I collect digital pictures of aircraft, cars, ships, and women off the internet when I'm wasting time to avoid work. I currently have 20,000 photos in that folder and use them as my rotating screen saver.

6. I wear an Eddie Bauer T-shirt every day. If I have to wear a dressier shirt, there's always an Eddie Bauer shirt on underneath it.

7. Even on the hottest summer days, I wrap and tie a sweatshirt around my waist and wear it all the time.

8. When ever I fly on an airplane, I write down the registration number and then check the FAA online data base to see what year it was built.

9. For most of my life I've been an obsessive nail-biter and have picked at my toenails until they've bled. Last year my wife suggested I get a pedicure to cure myself of the toe nail picking (it was driving her nuts). It worked splendidly! I've been getting them every two weeks ever since... and currently my big toe nails are red, white and blue and all the other toe nails on my left foot are painted blue and all the other toe nails on my right foot are red. You know, to celebrate the fourth of July. Now my wife wishes I'd go back to picking at my toe nails.

Anonymous said...

1. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people by age.

I forgot about that one. I do that too, especially comparing myself to Roger Ebert, only because he started writing about movies at 27 and I'm 23 (started at 14, but wasn't very good at it, though I kept at it), so I consider myself ahead a bit. Not much money in it, but just the experience is good.

shaz said...

1)Not wanting to be seated next to kids isnt weird ...its a purely survival .
Whether its for the kids survival or not depends on how much they wail "why do i have to sit next to the weird stinky woman mom ".

2)I stopped looking over peoples shoulders when they write the day i overseen my mom writing "shes still single and we cant get rid of her ass for love nor money " in her christmas family update letter.

3)Now listening to 60's music is NOT weird in itself but Joanie Sommers jingles may just about get you in the ballpark of weirdsville but hey this is coming from a woman who writes jingles in her head for her own imaginary products.
"Orang-away Orang-away takes hair of your hands so it wont stay "
I never said they were good .

4)Black and white movies always make me think " everyone im looking as was dead BEFORE i was born "

5)A marlboro light and gatorade is my breakfast ...i probabbly wont live long enough for it to become a phase.

6)Im Glaswegian ...we are born with ten layers of rain proof blue skin to keep out the cold ...dressing warm isnt weird for us ...its our birth right .

7)Im lucky if i can hit the on switch of any electrical good without a trip to ER following ...Y2KEN meet YSODUMB !

8)Dj talk ups used to really screw up my mixtapes ...thanks for that !

9)If try to read once a year ...full stop ...any more than that and i start to feel an utterly incompetant writer everyone else always says it better and worse funnier.

10)I like weird,weird is just normal with someone elses opinions attached to make it sound nuts la weird !

I tell you what though weird for me is finding out the blog i discovered by chance tonight is written by someone whos work made me want to be a comedy writer ever since i was a child .
Now THATS weird ...and yes ive failed so far hehe

Unknown said...

Umm I'm pretty sure you own the sweater in that picture. Please don't wear it when my friends come over.

maven said...

I think we all have some Adrian Monk in all of us!

ASMan said...

I just have 1 thing to say I'm a weird person from hand to toe. I'm so change it has actually given me a case of writers' block. I apologise if this seems like spam but I had say something. Sweet post.

Anonymous said...

- I have to rearrange my sandwiches at restaurants: spread out the contents so it's all even instead of a giant lump in the middle and nothing but bread at the sides.
- At breakfast I must eat all of the egg, then the bacon, then the hashed browns, then the toast.
- I hate it when people pimp their websites without cause.
- Check out!

Greg said...

1. I hate onions....with a passion.
2. When I buy milk, it must be at least 10 days prior exp date
3. In general, I don't like gardening,
4. I try to bring my own pillow/towel when staying with friends.
5. I rarely listen/watch to local radio/tv.
6. I have no trouble hearing, I love closed captioning.

Anonymous said...

• I hate labels on my fruit
• I order the same thing at any restaurant, but always insist on reading the whole menu first.
• Love tomato sauce, hate tomato seeds
• Will not throw out a pair of underwear until they literally disintegrate in hands.
• I've been cutting my own hair for 2 years now, but have never taken a mirror in hand to look at the back to see if it looks like shit.

metswalkoffs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
metswalkoffs said...

Ken, as a tv/radio person you might appreciate these

* Before I go to sleep, the TV in my room has to be tuned in to the lowest possible channel. When I go to visit my parents in NYC, that would be Channel 1 (NY-1 News) in CT, it's Channel 2, which I believe is PAX TV.

* If I'm listening to the radio, when I get out of my car, I try to time my shutting it off so that the last thing I hear is a full, not partial word.


Théo said...

If Ignatius and his pyloric valve ever get old, Home Land by Sam Lipsyte might be the new Confederacy.

Anonymous said...

Only 5!!!


I'm up to 50 and I've only got started...

Anonymous said...

One of my brothers actually has one of the diseases that was featured on "House." Fortunately, he is not suffering any adverse effects from it, but he did get to go for all sorts of special tests and I think he gets to walk in to the Mayo Clinic for a checkup now when he wants to.

Anonymous said...

Reading all of these made me realize that a few of my quirks are not so unusual after all.

1) I also hate having someone read over your shoulder while on the computer, but what I hate immensely more is someone being in the room when I'm on the phone.

2) I, too, am annoyed by poor grammar, spelling and punctuation. I know I missed my calling as a book editor.

3) I also eat the food off my plate in phases.

4) I almost never open and watch a new DVD right away. Could be months or years before I do.

5) I hate having cars come up behind me on long two-lane roads. Always paranoid that they're going faster than me and are gonna tailgate me until I move over.

6) I often prefer hearing instrumental music over songs with lyrics, because in some instances I find lyrics distracting. What do I listen to? Background music from game shows, theme parks, production music libraries, etc.

7) When watching an old sitcom rerun, I find myself listening intently to the laugh track so I can tell what year the show was produced.

webbie said...

Webbies 5 Wierdest:

1. In the category of TMI...I wear my panties inside out.
2. I don't listen to music while driving, if I don't have a book on CD I listen to talk radio. Yesterday I listened to a show on Christianity and deer hunting.
3. I love peanut butter, bacon, and jelly sandwiches.
4. I sleep without cover. I keep the house warm enough in the winter to not require even a sheet.
5. I read A Tale of Two Cities every year...just because I love it.

Me! Gene! said...

Ken, as another ex-deejay, I recall "talking up" being referred to as "horny cuing". Am I just imagining that? Did you ever hear the term?

And yeah, I still find myself doing it from time to time. To the others in the car, it's usually good for a laugh... once.

Anonymous said...

4) I can’t watch an old black and white movie from the 30’s or 40’s without thinking “everyone I’m looking at is dead”. Not that this spoils my enjoyment.
I do this with animals. Like with Asta in the Thin Man series, I always sigh and think "Asta's dead now".

Wasn't the author of Confederacy of Dunces a struggling writer who killed himself before meeting with success?

My oddities:

1) Though mostly athiest, I tend to growl and mutter "God Hates Me" .

2) I have dreams where a shirtless shoeless Tom Welling appears out of nowhere sitting on a bed, and asks me how I'm feeling.

3) I take long walks in L.A.

4) I'm now concerned that a poster named "Dippy Hippy" is cramping my style, though I am neither Dippy nor a hippy and am therefore misrepresenting myself. From now on, I'm to be pronounced "Da happy", which when I'm doing weird thing #1 is also a misrepresentation.

Anonymous said...

I forgot this one: I make up dances to television theme songs. My Odd Couple is legendary, and my X-files kicks Mark Morris' ass.

howie said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I, too, have Ken's "everyone I'm looking at is dead" syndrome. I often go to the Internet Movie Database just to see where and when and how.

The only other weird habit that I can think of now is that I never, ever watch Matt Stover kick a field goal at a Baltimore Ravens home game. My head stays down as though I'm kicking it myself until the crowd cheers or groans.

I also only watch my 9 year old son pitch little league from 400 feet away.

This Girl said...

I have that House thing too... actually, any doctor show. If I have half of one symptom, I think I might have it.

My husband and I have gotten into fights because I won't let him read what I've written when it's in the unfinished stage (well, he picks at me, I get mad and yell)

I have addictions, like one year, I ate only crunchy cheetos as a snack, one year, Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, one year, cheese pringles and for a year and a half, I would eat (at least weekly) a 1 lb bag of peanut butter m&ms.

I didn't have sex until I was married, 3 years ago when I was 28 years old.

I clean obsessively when I'm not comfortable, whether I am upset, tired, whatever. If I am comfortable, I am lazy and watch tv all night.

I was a tomboy all my life until I got married, where I suddenly took up knitting. Now I spin my own yarn and will probably soon wear dresses with bonnets and a big butt and show people how to hand spin with a spindle. I also didn't go through puberty until I was 26, where my voice got deeper and I grew breast.

My husband can tell a song just by the silence before the first note.

I smell everything I eat. Everything I come in contact with, if I can smell it without being rude, I do so. clothes, yarn, food, beer, bars, people... My husband calls me bloodhound because of my sense of smell. I like Dule Hill's Gus from Psych's description of his nose: Super Sniffer.

I listen to old records and opera when I write at home. I listen to booty music when I write anywhere else (by iPod of course although I have the Flower Song from Lakme on my iPod to get me started).

I'm obsessed with organic or locally grown fruits and veggies, but I will eat an entire box of little debbie snack cakes when I'm writing.

I bought the iPhone.

Anonymous said...

When Ken Levine posts a new entry in his blog, I only read the comments from that entry and never go back to the comments on old entries.

This is the only exception.

Gridlock said...

"4) I can’t watch an old black and white movie from the 30’s or 40’s without thinking “everyone I’m looking at is dead”. Not that this spoils my enjoyment."

I thought that was just me - and it's not just death, I was watching "The Big One" last night and kept wondering where all the laid-off LEAF workers are now..

I'm going to open a string of restaurants in which every seat faces the door - not only would I make a killing, apparently, but David Chase could then use them in any future series finale.

Because I'm not egotistical, interesting or time-rich enough to have my own blog, here's my list:

a) I love buying "Coke Light" from dodgy corner shops and cafes, which is the imported version of Diet Coke that apparently is cheaper than UK-native Diet Coke, and then working out where it's from. What kind of fucked up planet do we live on where it's cheaper to import small tins of sugar-water from South Africa, India or Guatemala (seriously, seen them all) than from Coke's UK plant just 10 miles from here?

b) For the last 2 weeks I've been having a serial dream in which I'm Hillary Clinton's PA. Our relation is now so close that I call her "HRC" to her face (help me, please).

c) I can't eat anything deep-fried without some sort of dip, preferably one pilfered from a fast-food place.

Unknown said...

1. I drive around wishing there was a station that featured nothing but Ken Levine talking up the vocals of my favorite songs. I have no desire to hear the actual songs as they will always be the same. But a Ken "Beaver Cleaver" Levine talk-up has so many possibilities.

2. When looking for an unfamiliar address, I turn the radio down. It makes it easier to recognize the address.

3. Even though my mother passed away seven years ago, I will NOT step on a crack.

4. I still watch every new Michael Bay movie released in hopes that he finally has final cut.

5. I miss Dalt's.

6. I miss the guy on old laugh tracks whose snorting laugh sounded as if he were shouting "Hank!"

7. I like to have the occasional lunch at Art's Deli and play "Who's the old agent, and who's simply old."

8. When driving down the grapevine from L.A. I still look for the old KERN tower, even though it hasn't been there for 25 years.

The Jersey Bookman said...

It's midnight and I just stopped working at the computer while Joanie Sommers's "Positively the Most" played quietly at the edge of my consciousness. Before turning in I couldn't help wondering whatever happened to her. I Googled her and saw that Ken Levine also once fell under her spell--and still likes the voice of the 1960s Pepsi commercials. She had a cute, sexy voice, especially when she remade "Heart and Soul" into a steamy torch song. Wow. So where is she today? The Jersey Bookman

Anonymous said...

I leave the captions on while I watch television and it drives everyone nuts.