Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'll never make fun of Ryan Seacrest again

Last weekend I co-emceed the Hollywood Stars softball game at Dodger Stadium. Over fifty celebs participated including former slugger Larry King. Lots of movie, TV, NFL, and music stars. Even a couple of contestants from last season’s CELEBRITY APPRENTICE so you know they’re celebrities.

My job was to interview the stars during the game. It fulfilled my dream of always wanting to be Ryne Seacrest. I had been given bios of everyone. Rob Lowe’s failed to mention he had once passed on a pilot of mine but otherwise they were very complete. The Dodger staff is first rate.

The assignment did not start well. My very first interview -- I said, “I’m here with Joel Madden, the lead singer of Creed.” He then says, “Uh, Good Charlotte.”


In addition to feeling two hundred years old at that moment I also felt like a complete idiot. I had read the wrong thing. Would it shock you to learn I do not own a Good Charlotte CD?

I covered as best I could and got him to agree to add Dodger organist Nancy B. Hefly to the group because she always wanted to be in an emo band. But there was no getting around my gaffe.

Having done live radio and TV for years I can tell you it wasn’t my first. But what I’ve learned is this: own up to it. And if possible use it to your advantage.

My next interview was with Kate Flannery from THE OFFICE. I introduced her as the lead singer of Creed. In fact, I pretty much introduced everyone as the lead singer of Creed except for Scott Stapp.

It’s a time honored comic device -- turn your goof into a running joke. You can’t buy it back; you might as well have some fun with it.

I named my baseball book IT’S GONE… NO WAIT A MINUTE! after my signature blown home run call in the minors. And when I did play-by-play for the Seattle Mariners, we had a feature in the post game show – “the Mikeda Power Tools Play of the Game” where we replayed the game’s most exciting moment. If I muffed a play or had a pitcher “throwing up” in the bullpen that’s what I would reprise as the Play of the Game.

It just occurred to me, if President Obama starts saying Congress acted “stupidly” and the press acted “stupidly” and the cabinet acted “stupidly” I’ll know he reads my blog. Cool!

Thanks to Jon Soohoo of the Dodgers for the top photo.


J.J. said...

I'm guessing your new BFF Katherine Heigl didn't make it to the Hollywood Stars game. Wouldn't it have been a special moment (and efffing hysterical if you ask me) when you introduced her as the lead singer of Creed.

Craig said...

I had the job of announcing the starting lineups at my junior college basketball games. We announced their height, number and name. Seemed easy enough until I got to a guy who was exactly 6 feet tall. I said "At 6 inches, number 34, Joe Smith." Thirty years later my friends still tease me.

YEKIMI said...

I used to do cable sports and was broadcasting a soccer game when one of the players got clobbered by an opposing player and blasted back about 10 feet from where he was. and my line was "Oh my, [players name] just got knocked up on the pitch". To this day I still get asked who knocked him up and why couldn't they see it happening on the pitch.

Matt said...

Makita Power Tools, just like the former hockey player, who also spent some time as the lead singer...

Michael Tassone said...


As far as I'm concerned, that was no gaffe but comedic gold.

Creed and Good Charlotte are not abused nearly enough.

Joe said...

I am quite bitter you did not heap any public abuse on Panic At The Disco.

WVW is liteawlw, which is awlw for people on diets

John said...

Ken, if you were really 200 years old -- or roughly Larry King's age -- you would have gone on to ask Madden where Charlotte was.

Mike Bell said...

I had an interview early on in my "career" with Eric Bloom of Blue Oyster Cult. I didn't do my homework, didn't have a f**kin clue who Eric Bloom was. He knew it and said so. Live. On the air.

"You don't know f**k all whom I am, do you?"

So I just started calling him by different names. Eric Idle. Eric Clapton. Eric Braedon.

He stayed on the phone a lot longer than I expected.

WV: Prestl - toothpaste for magicians.

bevo said...

When told that he is the lead singer of one-hit wonder Good Charlotte, you should have replied "do your fans know this?"

Or, "Creed, Good Charlotte, Coldplay, Panic at the Disco, does it really matter who the lead singer is?"

If the guy was that famous, then would he would be slumming at a celebrity softball tournament? Did MTV Rock 'N Jam not call? Explain to him that he would be great as Guy at the Table #4.

Steve the Creep said...

I love Kate. I did lights for her show 'the Lampshades' for a year. She's awesome.

Anonymous said...

It's easy enough to do this in any setting. A number of years ago our Service manager was paging our title clerk on our clunky old phone system. You couldn't talk to someone on the intercom unless you paged them to basically join you there. But what came out was "Carolyn, Intercourse please" and then he repeated exactly that. Our page system had to go thru our store at both ends of the block and people across the street came over with all there jokes for days. His only defense was "it means to talk, too". I think he was blushing for a week.

blogward said...

They're both post-grunge, so you were in the ballpark. Ker-tish!

Paul said...

You also called his band emo? I'm surprised you didn't get slugged. However, it's okay because his band sucks ass.

Tallulah Morehead said...

I can not relate, because I have NEVER made a misatke!!!

Well, there was that one time I introduced Glenn Miller as "The lead singer of of The Tommy Dorsey Band," and then asked him to play "your big hit, 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy'."

Was my face red.

Cap'n Bob said...

Never heard of him or either of those bands, just as there are fewer than 10 people in the world that could tell you that I was the original lead singer of The Violations.

Tallulah Morehead said...

Ah but Cap'n Bob, were you a MOVING Violation?

WV: unsin:
1. Repentance.

2. A good deed.

3. Washing off "My Sin" purfume.