Friday, February 05, 2010

Amanda Seyfried's Breasts Predict The Snow

I love the HuffingtonPost. I’m a contributing writer. But I am forever amused at their headlines. What follows are word-for-word actual headlines in Friday’s edition (along with a thought or two from me).

Amanda Seyfried's Breasts Predict The Snow When the witch's tit gets reeeally cold...

Anne Hathaway Strips, Talks Angelina Jolie's Kissing Angelina is the only actress with lips big enough for Anne.

Keira Knightley Reacts To Being Called A S*** Actress S*** must mean "starved".

Brittany Murphy's Husband: She Didn't Seem That Sick And poor Brittany thought he was a doctor.

NBC's Black History Month Menu: Fried Chicken & Collard Greens And repeats of DIFFERENT STROKES.

Sarah Silverman's Mom Saw Her Sex Spanking Bruise And mistook it for a tattoo.

Colin Firth: I'm Part Of Hollywood's Gay Problem I didn't know Hollywood had one but okay.

Wing Bowl Winner Eats 238 Wings In Half Hour Brittany Murphy's husband thought he didn't look too sick.

Rush: 'I Love The Women's Movement, Especially When I'm Walking Behind It' Which is as close as you'll come.

Candy Crowley: Would I Have Gotten 'State Of The Union' If I Didn't Lose Weight? Rush Limbaugh said the same thing.

Steve Phillips Out Of Sex Rehab, Going On 'Today' Show He's available again, gals.

Nick Jonas: Bob Dylan Can't Sing And who knows better than a fucking Jonas Brother?

Porn Star Unhappy With 'Tiger Woods Mistress' Golf Balls All her other boyfriends pay her real money.

Mel Gibson Calls Interviewer 'Asshole' Code for "Jew".

And there's no way to top this so I'm not even gonna try.

Joy Behar Asks Andrew Young: What's Rielle Hunter's Vagina Like?


Bob Summers said...

True story-The chef who came up with NBC's Black History Month special items is a black woman.

I'm not black, and I like fried chicken and black eyed peas.

Ref said...

Let's see.

Jonas Brothers: Vocal quality

Bob Dylan: Instrumental mastery and out-of-this-world songwriting.

Two beats one last time I was checking.

Unknown said...

Silverman is getting 40 this year.

I mean look at her. 40! She's looking as if she were 25 or something.

Finally those jew genes pay off I say!

R. W. High said...

Huffington Post IS amazing. Paired with your commentary, it's phenomenal. Way to go on Hathaway/Jolie and Jonas/Dylan!

Paul Duca said...

Ms. Seyfried's breasts might do a better job than Puxatawney Phil...he's now buried under a blizzard.

Anonymous said...

I like the "Snookishop" they are doping, where you photoshop a pic of Snooki somewhere strange...

YEKIMI said...

Amanda Seyfried's Breasts Predict The Snow

If her boobs predicted all this snow we had on Friday & Saturday, I'm surprised they didn't explode!

jbryant said...

What's Reille Hunter's vagina like? John Edwards' johnson, of course.

Zach said...

Saw "Mean Girls" last night. In that Seyfreid's character says her breasts can predict the rain. She then clarifies it to be that her breasts can predict when it's raining. The ever after shot shows her reporting in a downpour by feeling her breasts and predicting there was a 30% chance it was already raining.

Richard said...

"Amanda Seyfried's Breasts Predict The Snow"
Is it possible that the station's weather guy browses the Internet a lot for photos of Amanda Seyfried?