Monday, January 16, 2012

My review of the Golden Globes

So that was the big deal? Eddie Murphy jokes? Thirty-year-old Madonna “Like a Virgin” jabs? Mel Gibson shots? Justin Bieber zingers? Wow! No sacred cow was spared. Not James Cameron, Adam Sandler, not even Kim Kardashian! After staging a full-on media blitz to proclaim how daring and offensive he planned to be, Ricky Gervais was a giant bust. MODERN FAMILY’s Steve Levitan was funnier in his three-minute acceptance speech than Gervais was the entire night.

For all the promise that this was going to be the best Golden Globes ever, it still fell way short of 2008, which is still its pinnacle. (That’s the year the show was canceled due to the Writers Guild Strike.)

What we were left with was a smug host who most Americans still only know as “Who is that guy?”, nominated movies that aren’t even playing in 90% of the country, and shots of Dustin Hoffman falling asleep in the audience.

I was very glad THE ARTIST won. If it ever comes to your town go to the one theater showing it and get tickets. It’s easy to see why the Foreign Press loves it so. It’s an American film not in English.

Let’s face it, people watch this egopalooza to see their favorite stars. That’s why the Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy category was so exciting this year. Which one of these household names did you root for? Shailene Woodley, Octavia Spencer, Janet McTeer, Jessica Chastain, or Berenice Bejo?

Personally, I was thrilled Octavia Spencer won for THE HELP. The first part of her speech was very touching. The last ten minutes when she thanked everyone but Cedric the Entertainer was insufferable.

The big highlight for me was HOMELAND’S Morena Baccarin. I’ve never seen a gown that was both backless and frontless. She has now starred in the TV series and dress named V.

More on the ceremony in a moment, but first a look back at NBC’s Red Carpet Arrival Show. First, it started without sound. Then it was hosted by the least talented person on the planet – Carson Daly. When interviewing Leo DiCaprio he had to look down at his card before asking the following question: “So how are you doin’?” Why is this lox on TV? I never got the names of his two magpie co-hosts (because there was no sound). I just know they were Natalie (?) and Jeannie (?).

Natalie (?) asked everyone the same question. “Are you nervous?” But unlike Carson, did it without the benefit of a card. Seth Rogen said to Jeannie (?) “I’ll just read exactly what’s on the teleprompter” to which she replied, “Right. Free styling it.”

There must be a Red Carpet Interviewer IQ test and if you score higher than 60 you’re disqualified.

The ceremony itself was held in the glittering Beverly Hilton Hotel Ballroom, site of the Temple Emmanuel Purim Ball.

Did HOMELAND win because it is the best drama on television or because it originally was an Israeli show and there’s that foreign connection? I was surprised OUTSOURCED wasn’t named best TV comedy.

As usual, the TV awards went to slumming movie stars. Kate Winslet and Laura Dern each got their third Globe, and Jessica Lange copped her fifth. If Tina Fey and Amy Poehler want to win for Best TV Comedy they need to do WAR HORSE II first.

Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore had to vamp when their teleprompter malfunctioned. Lowe handled it deftly, ad libbing, “When was the last time you did a cold reading in front of Steven Spielberg?” Carson Daly in the same situation vomits on himself.

My daughter Annie thought Charlize Theron’s dress got caught in her underwear.

Do seat fillers get to eat the meals of the people they're substituting for?

Dustin Hoffman is starting to look like Bob Uecker.

I love Clair Danes. If you haven’t seen HOMELAND, add that to THE ARTIST, LUTHER, BOSS, EPISODES, A SEPARATION, and all the other Golden Globe winning projects you haven’t seen.

Seth Rogen paid his co-presenter, Kate Beckinsale, the ultimate compliment. He announced he had an “enormous erection”. That’s his idea of just reading the teleprompter?

When Ludovic Bourne won Best Original Score for THE ARTIST, I was hoping he’d thank Kim Novak in his acceptance speech.

Debra Messing came as Tin Tin.

Tilda Swinton came as David Bowie.

Another deserving winner was Asghar Farhadi for A SEPARATION, although Annie's writing partner Jon called out, “Okay, Iran, we gave you a Golden Globe. Give us back our drone!”

With big stars like Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman in the audience, why were they cutting to Piper Perabo for reaction shots?

Since Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese were there the HFPA had to give them awards. Same for Madonna, George Clooney, and Meryl Streep. Otherwise they end up with the stars of MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS and the cast of SUBURGATORY.

And Meryl darling, you had more than enough time before the get-off music started. You have more people to thank? Thank them next month when you win something else.

There was some debate at our house whether Jessica Biel came in her wedding dress or bubble wrap.

Who was more revved up on stage, the dog from THE ARTIST who was humping legs or Jimmy Fallon? Both needed leashes.

They keep touting BRIDESMAIDS as a serious Oscar contender, but all you ever hear about the movie is that women shit all over themselves.

A lot of actresses look like they’d been hit by a car. Reese Witherspoon had been hit by a car and looked exquisite.

Nice tribute to Morgan Freeman. He’s made 50 movies. In half of them Ashley Judd gets kidnapped.

Sidney Poitier’s introduction to Morgan was elegant. Helen Mirran’s was balloon juice. Annie kept yelling, “Un-knight her!”

Kenneth Branagh was nominated for playing Sir. Lawrence Olivier who once won a Golden Globe and the statuette literally broke apart in his hand during his acceptance speech.

Since Leo DiCaprio was there for J. EDGAR, Annie's partner Jon thought it would have been great if he had shown up in a gown.

Wow! THE ARTIST’S Berenice Bejo is beautiful in color.

The ceremony took place one mile from my house. Albert Brooks should have known he wouldn’t win when his table was on our front lawn.

After the Tim Tebow debacle on Saturday, Jesus Christ was no longer on the guest list of the Weinstein Co. after party.

Jessica Lange's hair looked like a Monet haystack. She thanked all the writers, which she should, since they’re killing off every character on her show but her.

Paula Patton looked like the world’s yummiest yellow Peep.

Happy that Matt LeBlanc won. Not surprised though because it was for a show made in England. But he was very funny and showed more range playing himself than I thought he had.

Instead of screeners, voters got vouchers for free appetizers at Jennifer Lopez’s Madre restaurant in Pasadena.

70 year-old Jane Fonda looked spectacular. I love the new hip, Janie!

The Golden Globes are the only award show where Maggie Smith and Sofia Vergara are nominated in the same category.

Madonna is starting to look like a female impersonator.

Glad she took shots back at Ricky Gervais. No witty retort from him of course. He was probably too busy offstage writing an article for ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY about how fearless he is.

Angelina Jolie looked chic and stunning. I loved the patterned sleeves. Oh wait. Those were tattoos.

Madonna beat Glenn Close for Best Song. How does that happen???

And then Glenn lost to Meryl Streep. Considering the part, Ms. Close would have had a much better chance if she put herself up in the Best Actor category.

Congratulations to Kelsey Grammer who won for that show he’s on on the network no one can get. I’m sure he was very deserving. He’s a gifted actor. But the STARZ network has eleven subscribers total in all of America. So did he win on merit or because ex-wife Camille was so rude to all the voting members of the Foreign Press when they waited on her at Jerry’s Deli?

And did THE DESCENDENTS win for Best Drama because it’s set in Hawaii and many foreign voters didn’t realize Hawaii is part of the United States?  

So ended another endless Golden Globes ceremony, filled with tedium, Harvey Weinstein, and Jodie Foster beaver jokes. I’m guessing Ricky Gervais won’t be asked back. Knowing the Academy, next year’s host will be Carson Daly.

On to the Oscars!


Danielle Solzman said...

In any other show, Viola beats Meryl.

Breadbaker said...

I never knew Harvey Weinstein was Tim Tebow's dad.

Stephanie said...

That's why I watch the E Red Carpet Show. Their hosts can actually say "Who are you wearing>" without a teleprompter.

Birdie said...

I'll take Streep's drunk speech over Davis's self important, weepy ones any day. Was happy and surprised she won, not the least because it adds unpredictability to the best actress race.

Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore looked like the black and white duo. Or at least the orange and white duo.

While part of me will always root for WoodyvAllen to win something, because it means he's still relevant, I don't get why MiP's screenplay is winning all of these awards, because to me half of it seemed like a first draft.

Another dig at Albert Brooks. Damn, Ken really dislikes him, doesn't he?

Why didn't Kelsey Grammer just say f u to his ex wife? Oh, wait, he kind of did.

Clooney's Fassbender dong joke (the golf one) reminded me of a Golden Girls volleyball joke; "is that a legal serve?" He guested on the show; I bet he's a closet fan and ripped it off.

Was the second part of Gervais's beaver joke generic or a hint about Jodie being a lesbian. I couldn't tell. Anyway yay for her for having a sense of humor.

Are we done with the Mildred Pierce awards yet? It seems like it aired 3 years ago.

Chris said...

Here's a friday question: What do you think about writer trademarks such as Aaron Sorkin's walk and talk, do you think it can turn into lazy writing once you get the hang of it?

Barry Traylor said...

I have a Friday question for you. I just read that "Work It" has been cancelled after two episodes by ABC. Is that a record for cancellation?

Cheryl S said...

I liked Julie Bowen's new hairstyle. Not much else in the awards show.

404 said...

Birdie, Mel Gibson did a movie recently called The Beaver that was directed or something by Jodie Foster.

Ken, I was disappointed by Ricky too, after all the threats, but I wonder if he did it on purpose? There was no way he could recreate last year--last year no one was in on the joke and he really shocked people. This year, people were expecting it, it was part of the act, and he was a part of the machine, in a way. So rather than give in to the expectations that could not be lived up to, he went a completely different way. That's my guess, anyway. It was alright, but definitely not what I was hoping for.

Michael said...

Birdie - Mindy Kaling tweeted during the show that Rob Lowe's skin was darker than hers.

Birdie said...

404 - I get that- I was actually one of the 20 ppl who saw it! Those jokes have been done to death. But the second part of the joke, where he says few men have seen it, I was not sure whether that was a hint at her glass closet lesbianism, or merely an extension of the generic joke. Hope that makes sense.

Btw what the HELL was Paula Patton doing in the front row???

Jeff said...

Best moment (by far): Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy harmonizing their witty banter.

deanareeno said...

The only reason I watched was because of Gervais. That said, there was no way he could've bested his performance of the prior year, as back then he had the element of surprise, as well as some memorable zingers ("Ashton Kutcher's dad" and Bruce Willis' subsequent reaction come to mind). This year, expectations were too high and everyone was anticipating the potential blows. Which never really came. As Public Enemy would say, "Don't Believe the Hype".

I still think he was funny at times (e.g. getting Johnny Depp to admit he still hadn't seen The Tourist, describing Colin Firth as a huge racist behind the scenes, etc.), and I'm willing to cut the guy who gave us The Office, Extras, and An Idiot Abroad/Bucket List some slack.

Other "highlights" were: Levitan's bit, Willam H. Macy & Felicity Huffman's singsong introduction of whatever category they were presenting, Morgan Freeman, Seth Rogan's comment but more Kate Beckinsale's reaction to it, and...not much else.

Maybe 5 minutes of entertainment in a 3+ hour show? Terrible. At least we all know we should never watch another GG ever again (which we all knew to begin with, really)...

Mike Botula said...

Up here in Stockton, CA (formerly Tuleburg, CA) some of us really look forward to the Golden Globes as an entertainment source somewhat equivalent to the April Asparagus Festival. If Rick Gervais was to appear on local TV here, he'd have Central Valley subtitles. Carson Daly would get the same reaction he did in your blog.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Agree with all you said. And let's face it, Steve Levitan is pretty damn funny. I wish they'd cut to his wife, though. Her cuts at the Emmys made that show.

I do love Peter Dinklage and enjoyed his thank-you speech.

bettyd said...

madonna won for a song - not her movie. She accepted it like it was for the movie with all the thanks to actors, etc. I couldn't wait for her to shut up.

Kelsey Grammer is great in that role, but it really is b/c the writers give him good, long dialogs that he nails. That show is directed strangely (to me) with so many really tight close ups and on high def, I know more than I need to about Kelsey's nostrils.

jbryant said...

The show was definitely a dud. Even if Gervais had been 10 times funnier, it would have only pointed up how dreadfully dull most everything else was.

Birdie: FWIW, I thought the second part of Gervais' beaver joke was clearly a reference to Foster's reputed lesbianism.

Ken: I think the director gave Piper Perabo some extra face time to make up for the announcer introducing her as "Piper Pera-BOO."

Nathan said...

I had two favorite moments.

1. Gervais introducing Colin Firth as a racist and an kitten puncher. (Except the director cutting to a shot of the cast of "The Help" was a TRULY courageous choice [/sarcasm]).

2. The entire 2nd hour, during which I switched to PBS and watched "Downton Abbey".

ElizabethH said...

What about Natalie Portman's dress??? It looked like she took a cue from the Carol Burnett show "Went with the Wind" and stuck a curtain rod in there.

Rachel said...

It really annoys me how 'Bridesmaids' is only referenced as raunchy. To me it was so much more than that. It was funny with a good story and good characters. I know some people didn't care for it, but it shouldn't be compared to the likes of 'The Hangover' because it was vastly different. Why can people only remember the shit scene?! Or choose to only reference that one...

jbryant said...

Hear, hear, Rachel. I know people who actually avoided BRIDESMAIDS because it's so often been characterized as a raunch-fest. A handful of scatalogical gags (none of which are visually explicit) seem to have blinded many folks to the remaining two hours of content, and jokes like those last night are just going to keep more people away -- not that the producers are disappointed in the box office to date, of course. :)

BigTed said...

Last year, people found Gervais "shocking" because he made fun of celebrities -- but it was really because the jokes were bad. He bravely made jokes about Robert Downey Jr.'s addiction troubles, years after Downey had actually cleaned up his act and become a major star again. What was the point?

Gervais' references this year were similarly dated. (Ha-ha, Madonna likes sex -- just look at that song she released 25 years ago.) People were making better jokes at their home viewing parties.

I think Gervais can be funny -- I liked a lot of his last stand-up special, and of course he's created some great TV. But he's not half as funny as he thinks he is, which makes him a lousy awards-show host.

Watts said...

@Barry: If "Work It" made it to two episodes, that's twice as long as a few other shows. I recall Glenn Frey starring in a series in the early '90s called "South fo Sunset" -- or rather, I don't, since only one episode aired. And unlike "Work It," it didn't look *horrifying,* although it didn't look particularly good, either. (Part of what did it in may have been being opposite "Home Improvement" and "Melrose Place.")

RCP said...

One great line after the next - thanks for the laughs.

Jane is actually 74 - any wonder I'm aces at Trivial Pursuit?

Carson Daily said...

Hey I'm way more talented than that stupid dog from The Artist who can't even talk or read cue cards!

Roger Owen Green said...

The dog in The Artist can talk. In dog, to be sure, but at least the character was able to convey a sense of urgency.

Phillip B said...

Was startled with the unexpected thought that awards segregated by gender now seem a little outdated. Combining the sexes in the acting acting categories would create some interesting discussion..

Or does it make more sense to go the other way, and create a new category for a script by a woman writer?

jbryant said...

I liked when Carson Daly asked Angelina Jolie was it was about the subject matter of her film that "resignated" with her.

Anonymous said...

From Jan:

I liked the Felicity Huffman/William H. Macy bit and Peter Dinklage's speech, but am I the only one who thinks Angelina Jolie looks skeletal?

cshel said...

Good post, Ken, especially considering there was not much to work with. What a big, overly hyped disappointing GG show that turned out to be. The horrible red carpet people were an omen of things to come.

I love Ricky, but he was off his game. Not much funny stuff, and no controversy. I was thinking it may have been a combination of him drinking too much, them running short on time, and not enough bad celebs there to make fun of. When Robert Downey Jr. came out and started all of that annoying posturing before he spoke, I thought he was going to say something about Ricky. I was praying there would be a fist fight or something. But no.

What is Tilda Swinton's deal, why does she always want to look bizarre?

Madonna needs to lighten the eff up and stop taking herself so damn seriously.

Clooney's joke about Fassbender was dumb, but you can bet women all over the world were rushing to their Netflix accounts to put Shame at the top of their lists.

Yeah, Levitan and Vergara were definitely one of the few highlights of the show.

The Artist people were fun. Good for them.

That post about Mildred Pierce cracked me up. Every year there is some serious made-for-TV movie or mini-series that I haven't seen that seems to get nominated at award shows for what seems like three years. When I first saw Claire Danes, I thought Temple Grandin was nominated again.

Next year I think some combination of Tina, Amy, Kristin, Jane, Melissa, and Sofia should host the show. Heck, they should host the Oscars after Billy does this next one. Unless he comes back. : )

Tallulah Morehead said...

"Birdie said...
While part of me will always root for WoodyvAllen to win something, because it means he's still relevant, I don't get why MiP's screenplay is winning all of these awards, because to me half of it seemed like a first draft."

And he won't win anything because he is not still "relevant," whatever that means in this context, but I agree with you that half of Midnight in Paris seemed like a first draft, and the rest of it seemed like the outline. My scathing review of it (Midnight in Paris, not the Golden Globes, which I could not work up the energy to write about.) is up over on my flog.

Cap'n Bob said...

I caught some of the show, mostly because I knew you'd be commenting and I wanted to see what you were talking about. I found it as boring as all award shows. Then Hanoi Jane came on and I switched the set off. I have no desire to see that stupid Quisling.

Kevin said...

"Sidney Poitier’s introduction to Morgan was elegant."

You misspelled "boring."

Where was the get-off music when you needed it?

mcp said...

To answer Barry Taylor's question, the record for cancellation belongs to "Turn-On" a sketch comedy program on ABC that aired on February 5th, 1969. According to Wikipedia, the Cleveland ABC affiliate canceled the show in progress.

Other useless fact checking: The co-hosts for NBC's Golden Globes arrival show were Natalie Morales (Co-Host of NBC's Today Show) and Jeannie Mai (Style Network and the hottest dress on the red carpet).

D. McEwan said...

"Barry Traylor said...
I have a Friday question for you. I just read that "Work It" has been cancelled after two episodes by ABC. Is that a record for cancellation?"

I can tell you "no" to that. At the height of the success of Laugh-In, George Schlatter's spin-off, Turn-On, aired on February 5, 1969 and never again. It was cancelled by the time its final credits rolled. It's notorious as the first series ever cancelled during its first broadcast. Robert Culp and France Nuyen were listed in TV Guide as the hosts for the second episode. No one ever saw it. Culp died happy.

I happened to be on the set of Laugh-In on 2/5/69. I saw Schlatter and co. troop off the set at 8:55 PM to go watch it. I headed off for a bite to eat. (I thought I'd see it next week. Silly me) At 9:35 I saw Schlatter and co. come filing back into the studio to resume the inturrupted Laugh-In shoot.

No one was smiling.

"Nathan said...
I had two favorite moments.

1. Gervais introducing Colin Firth as a racist and an kitten puncher.

2. The entire 2nd hour, during which I switched to PBS and watched 'Downton Abbey'."

I thought that was the funniest moment of the show also, and he was a puncher of blind kittens. Just plain regular kittens aren't helpless enough. It really was the word "blind" that made the joke work so well.

As for your second favorite moment. I recorded Downton Abby to watch, well, today. No one has to choose between shows anymore. Recorded Desperate Housewives as well. If twere now, I'd have seen Turn-on when I got home.

Madonna made me hit the fast-forward button (Watch live? No. You can't fast-forward live. I no longer watch ANYTHING live. During the broadcast I was reading Dickens or watching porn. Something "elevating"), as I also did once Octavia Spencer started getting "sincere". I've been switching Madonna off on TV talk shows all week. On Saturday she was the sole guest on The Graham Norton Show, so there was no relief from her, and Norton was clearly not going to stop smooching her ass, so, for the first time ever for me watching Graham Norton, I switched it off 10 minutes in.

"[re: 'The Artist']It’s an American film not in English."

You know, I thought that if anything at all about The Artist was clear and obvious last night, it was that The Artist is a French film not in French. No wonder they shot it silent: cheaper than dubbing or subtitling.

Steve Levitan and The W. H. Macy's were the highlights of the evening, after Firth's abuse of blind kittens.

Peter Dinklidge asked everyone to Google "Martin Henderson." I did. He is a dwarf in England who was quite recently crippled for life by being "dwarf tossed" by a a drunken asshole. And not in a formal pub Dwarf Tossing where the short folks are being paid and participating voluntarily, and some sort of safety measures are, one hopes, in place. Henderson was assaulted by a drunk outside a pub who thought it was funny to pick him up and slam him down again on the sidewalk, never mind that it left him permanently disabled. Basically, he was "Short Bashed."

D. McEwan said...

"Cap'n Bob said...
Hanoi Jane"

Wow, a forty-year old right-wing slam on Jane Fonda. What's next, Cap'n? Hippie jokes? Complaining about the other "damned hippie Vietnam War Prtestors" (like, well, me)? Hey, I can still rail against that Evil murdering bastard Nixon and his corrupt thieving sidekick Agnew and the rest of that evil and corrupt crew also. Shall we open 40 year old wounds now, or just get over it already? Have you perhaps noticed in those 40 years that Fonda was RIGHT about the war then, and is still right about that war now? No, obviously you haven't.

DW said...

"Give us back our drone." :-)

Johnny Walker said...

Here's a theory: Gervais said the only reason he said yes this year was because the press said he wouldn't be asked back after last year. Doing a mild show this year and not going back next year shows it was completely his choice.

Also to show that, despite how the press portrayed it, people WANTED him to roast the celebs.

An annoying thing for the audiences to have to sit through, though.

Mary Stella said...

And Meryl darling, you had more than enough time before the get-off music started. You have more people to thank? Thank them next month when you win something else.

I thought it was funny that she tried to motion to her husband to bring her her glasses so she could read her speech. They showed Clooney trying to pass them up closer to the stage but the guy he handed them to didn't keep going.

Loved Colin Firth's comeback about protestors wishing pestilence upon them and not understanding that they already had Ricky Gervais.

DJ said...

On Saturday she was the sole guest on The Graham Norton Show, so there was no relief from her, and Norton was clearly not going to stop smooching her ass, so, for the first time ever for me watching Graham Norton, I switched it off 10 minutes in.

By doing so, you missed the second half of the show, when Norton brought on the stars of Madonna's new movie. It was quite funny when Norton had Andrea Risebrough read cheesy dialogue in character as Madonna (which she did in an excellent American accent). There also was a musical guest.

Brian said...

Why so bitter?

D. McEwan said...

Okay, I stand corrected. The Artist is a French movie shot in America, in neither English nor French.

DJ, thanks for confirming for me that I was right to turn off Graham Norton. You see, you didn't say "In the latter part, Some interesting people came on and Madonna LEFT!. Your comment indicates that Madonna was there for the whole hour, so I'm really, really fine with turning her off, as she and her massive ego have been turning me off for 30 years.

sephim said...

Barry - How about shows that had been made and ready to go before being cancelled?

sephim said...


Pat Reeder said...

Agree that Ricky Gervais was disappointing (and I'm a fan who loved what he did last year). Also don't understand these categories, like movies that aren't musical or humorous being nominated for Best Comedy or Musical (which one was "My Week with Marilyn"?) and categories that pit Sophia Vergara in "Modern Family" against Maggie Smith in "Downton Abbey" and Jessica Lange in "American Horror Story." Or Peter Dinklage in "Game of Thrones" against the chubby gay guy in "Modern Family." That's not even apples and oranges, it's like comparing watermelons to motorcycles.

One quibble, though: I would have voted for Glenn Close's musical output over Madonna's. If you want to know why, watch and learn:

Pat Reeder said...

PS - My wife actually watches "Boss" and thinks it's the best thing on TV, so I guess we're among the dozen or so people who get Starz.

VW: "flymi" - Nicer preface to the phrase "to the moon" than "One of these days, Alice!..."

Roger Owen Green said...

I found this infographic far more interesting than the GGs usually are (didn't watch this year - viewed the recorded Giants-Packers game instead.

Nathan said...

@D. McEwan,

You're right. I left out the "blind" part and that made it funnier. Would adding "quadriplegic" have been taking it too far? I think not.

Also, I know I'm soooo mid-20th Century, but I doggedly holding onto watching shows when they're actually on. The truth is that if I watched anything and everything whenever I wanted, I'd never leave the house.

@ Pat Reeder,

I was completely unaware of that part of Glenn Close's career. I hate you for telling me about it and someday, I'll make you suffer.

Paul Duca said...

I knew Glenn Close has a musical the 1960's she and her then-husband were member of Up With People (for those who don't know it, think Hooray For Everything).

fuffsayi said...

I have a question for Ken and all the other writers here:

Do you think Madonna's comeback at Ricky was scripted?

cadavra said...

"Do you think Madonna's comeback at Ricky was scripted?"

Is Jackie Mason Jewish?

BTW, "How do you say 'yes' to NORBIT and 'no' to the Oscars?" is comedy platinum.

Dr. Leo Marvin said...

"the least talented person on the planet – Carson Daly"

This can't be said often enough.

D. McEwan said...

"Nathan said...
@D. McEwan,
You're right. I left out the "blind" part and that made it funnier. Would adding 'quadriplegic' have been taking it too far? I think not."

Try "legless". More people will get the joke, and actually, "Colin Firth punches blind legless kittens" IS even funnier.

Cap'n Bob said...

McEwan: There's no expiration date for traitors. If she'd pulled that stunt in WWII she would have been lined up against a wall and shot. As for hippies, I was one myself. Don't make assumptions.

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D. McEwan said...

"Cap'n Bob said...
McEwan: There's no expiration date for traitors. If she'd pulled that stunt in WWII she would have been lined up against a wall and shot. As for hippies, I was one myself. Don't make assumptions."

Well you're not a hippie any more, as the parade of reactionary right-wing, occasionally offensive, often-revolting, postings you've been putting here recently show.

But if you were really an ex-hippie, you'd have been supporting Jane Fonda back then.

But I'm glad to see that you will never rest until George Bush stands trial for Treason, no to mention War Crimes.

john hauge said...

we were all taken for a ride on the 'what will ricky do wagon' that's for sure. i'm thinking it was a boat load of cash. yeah, they paid him off so goons like me would watch the crap fest. reese witherspoon was my highlite. thankfully.

Alice said...

I watched every episode of Boss in aw of Kelsey Grammer. I am absolutely thrilled he won and the series is good, but he is wonderful.

Sky said...

Favorite Carson Daly moment: After congratulating Elton John for his nomination, Twiddledum then asked (paraphrasing) "Have you seen who else is in this category?" and read the names off a notecard. Seriously? Like Sir Elton had made it all the way to the red carpet with no idea who else was nominated in his category?

Least favorite Ricky Gervais (of so many to choose from): When he introduced the "Queen of Pop", and then told Sir Elton it wasn't him. Yep - calling a gay man a "queen". So very clever and edgy. So funny I forgot to laugh. Ooooh - see, I can be clever too!