Sunday, October 14, 2018

My life from A to Z

One of those dumb personal quizzes circulating the net. I'm admitting things here even my shrink doesn't know. Of course, he doesn't care.

• A-Available/Single? Not according to my wife
• B-Best Friend? My partner. I'd be a lot poorer emotionally and financially without him.
• C-Cake or Pie? I'll have to go with Elvis and say cake.
• D-Drink Of Choice? Makers & ginger ale but only after 7 a.m.
• E-Essential Item You Use Everyday? My Pocket Fisherman.
• F-Favorite Color? Green. They asked me this for the Dewar's ad, too.
• G-Gummy Bears Or Worms? Whichever one is not banned from commercial flights.
• H-Hometown? Los Angeles
• I-Indulgence? Irene Jacob movies even though I can't understand them.• J-January Or February? February. Pitchers and catchers report.
• K-Kids & Their Names? Matt, Annie, and maybe some in Bakersfield.
• L-Life Is Incomplete Without? Laughter.
• M-Marriage Date? July 8. Same date that crime boss Soapy Smith was shot to death in 1898.
• N-Number Of Siblings? 1
• O-Oranges Or Apples? Apple, if we're talking pies or computers. Orange if we're talking women's prisons.
• P-Phobias/Fears? Mimes.
• Q-Favorite Quote? Enough is as good as a feast to an idiot.
• R-Reason to Smile? Linda Eder singing
• S-Season? Bob Gaudio
• T-Tag Three or Four People? I don't know four people.
• U-Unknown Fact About Me? I touched Jackie Kennedy's knee.
• V-Vegetable you don't like? Fucking Republicans
• W-Worst Habit? Sweating the small stuff
• X-X-rays You've Had? Teeth, chest, and what kind of stupid question is that?
• Y-Your Favorite Food? Lobster...but must not still be alive.
• Z-Zodiac Sign? Aquarius man.


Peter said...

"Vegetable you don't like? Fucking Republicans"

Uh oh. Here come 20 comments by readers asking if they're still welcome to read this blog because they have different political opinions. People, it's Ken's blog and he's entitled to express his views!

MikeKPa. said...

Mimes as so misunderstand. Four years of Julliard plus a two-year residency at the Marcel Marceau Institute. All for what, pocket change from uncaring strangers on a SF corner and the ensuing abuse.

On behalf of mimes everywhere I'd just like to say

Janet Ybarra said...

Very amusing. I think it's quite sweet that after all these years, you can still call David your best friend.

That's not something many married couples--nevermind average professional partnerships--can say.

It's after 7 am here, so I'll have a Makers and ginger ale for you and David.

Loosehead said...

Your wedding anniversary is my birthday. Totally meaningless coincidence.

estiv said...

"Bob Gaudio" - thanks for giving me a laugh to start the day. I loved the Jersey boys before the Beatles reached our shores, and years later, when hipness became less of a burden to me, admitted to myself that I still did.

Janet Ybarra said...

I'll just say Ken's comparison between vegetables and Republicans is an insult to brussels sprouts and legumes everywhere. ;)

Anonymous said...


Jackie Kennedy's knee? Huh?

Actually I just wanted to say thanks for the recommendation of NANETTE on Netflix. I wouldn't have found it and I certainly wouldn't have watched it without your having vouched so strongly. Words fail me; it was that powerful. And haunting. Bless Hannah Gadsby. Have you considered having her as a podcast guest? That would be interesting.

As always, thank you.


Wendy M. Grossman said...

Re pie or cake. I expected you to pick pie. Better for throwing.


Jeannie said...

You touched Jackie O's knee? Future post, please.

Eric J said...

Loosehead said..."Your wedding anniversary is my birthday. Totally meaningless coincidence."

Maybe, but your birthday is the same as Soapy Smith's murder. Meaningless coincidence...?

Anonymous said...


Had to come back and comment again because something was bothering me.

"Enough is as good as a feast to an idiot."

Isn't that the motto of the party of planetary destruction aka the &^%$ing Republicans?

Just sayin...


Mister Charlie said...

Favorite Season? Bob Gaudio


Patrick Wahl said...

Peter - sure, but he doesn't have to act like an intolerant angry punk all the time when he brings up politics.

Rita said...

Siblings 1. Never heard anything till now.

Come to think of it, nor about your spouse or her involvement/support of your work.

I do remember long back Annie was a guest blogger. Would be great if she wrote a blog about her work at "Kevin can wait".

Anonymous said...

Bob Gaudio is the best!

Peter said...

Jeannie, Ken wrote about his brief brush with Jackie a couple of years ago.

Mike Bloodworth said...

Gee,Ken. Am I "still welcome to read this blog because I have different political opinions?" JUST KIDDING. I'll read it anyway.

Its a good thing you didn't say "cherry pie." Or the feminists would be all over you.

Dewar's? I'm more of a Johnny Walker man myself.

A Pocket Fisherman, eh? What do you use for bait? Gummy worms?

I glad you didn't pick "homophobia" as your favorite. Too many people in the mainstream media incorrectly use that term in place of anti-gay. They're NOT interchangeable.

You touched Jackie Kennedy's knee?! I hope wasn't when you were in highscool. Something like that could come back to haunt you later in life.

LOBSTER?? Not kosher, Ken. Yet, its a good thing you didn't say a "fish taco" or the feminists would be all over you. By the way, the next time we're out to eat I'd better not catch you ordering a salad! (Vegetables, get it?)

How about sometime in the near future you do VANITY FAIR's Proust Questionnaire? I'd love to see your answers to that. GO DODGERS!!

P.S. You may have noticed just a hint of sarcasm in my post today.

Frank Beans said...


Diane: He's a meem [sic], Woody.

Woody: Meem?

Sam: It's normally pronounced "mime"

Woody: [confused as ever] Mime?

Janet Ybarra said...

Was it when Jackie was Jackie Kennedy or later when she was Jackie O?

Janet Ybarra said...

You know, if you don't like the way Ken brings it up, you don't have to read.

YEKIMI said...

I'll give this a shot:
A-Available/Single: Yes and will remain so in my crotchety old age ways.
B-Best Friend: Friend? What is/are these "friend" people keep talking about?
C-Cake or pie: Chocolate Pie stuffed into a chocolate cake. Another fave pi 3.14159265359......
D-Drink of choice: Used to be Rum & Coke. Now it's water. I can thank my liver for convincing me to change.
E-Essential item I use everyday: Toilet Paper. Otherwise no one would ever shake my hand again.
F-Favorite color: Plaid.
G-Gummy Bear or worms: Neither. What creature of Satan ever created these things?
H-Hometown: Saint Petersburg. Florida, not Russia. Kicked out at birth, not allowed back in till I turn 85.
I-Indulgence: Fried Chicken. It may clog my arteries, but I'll die happy.
J-January or February: Feruary. Less days which means it's closer to spring.
K-Kids: Unless you're talking about baby goats.....none that I know of.
L-Life is incomplete without? Milk. Cinnamon Life is even better.
M-Marriage Date: Sometime when I turned 13 when my right hand discovered my.....well, never mind!
N-Number of Siblings: Can't count that high.
O-Oranges or Apples: Apples. Can no longer eat something the same color as the Not-My-President.
P-Phobias/Fears: Cockroaches! Wanna see me break the sound barrier? Have a cockroach crawl towards me.
Q-Favorite Quote: "Get Off My Lawn!"
R-Reason To Smile?: A Isaac/Levine written sitcom.
S-Season: Thyme. Oh wait....that's a seasoning.
T-Tag Three or four people: No people, I just tag myself.
U-Unknown fact about me: Fired/failed from/at more radio stations when the format changed IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SHOW! [Bastards!]
V-Vegetable you don't like?: Karen Ann Quinlan. Or tomatoes cause it can't decide if it's a fruit or vegetable.
W-Worst Habit: Farting in crowded elevators.
X-X-rays you've had? Literally every single body part. I am surprised I don't glow in the dark when you turn off the lights.
Y-Your favorite food?: Toss up between Peanut butter & grape jelly or fried chicken. Since the earliest picture of me is showing me holding onto a chicken drumstick before I had teeth and could even walk and slobber was dripping off it, I'd have to say fried chicken. Foghorn Leghorn better look out if I am around.
Z-Zodiac Sign: Virgo. The fitting!

Anonymous said...

Patrick Wahl

Back to Harry Truman. "The thuglicans think someone is giving them hell when anybody tells the truth about them." Paraphrase.

As for Peter you are right. Never met a toxic brussel sprout but have (unfortunately) met a lot of toxic thuglicans.

Anonymous said...

Mea Culpa meant Janet Ybarra when I spoke of veggies v. thuglicans.

Johnny Walker said...

Where does "Enough is as good as a feast to an idiot" come from?

Mike Barer said...

We have the same anniversary date, even though we were married in 1995.

Lyn Nuttall said...

>Season? Bob Gaudio

Mine too.

Bronson said...

In three years the B answer has morphed into a potential joke:

"B-Best Friend? My partner. I'd be a lot poorer emotionally and financially without him."

It goes from "Oh that's sweet, his wife is his best friend" to "ooooooh right... the traditional word definition of 'partner'"

The reversal is at the very end. "My partner (awwww). I'd be a lot poorer emotionally (AWWWWWWW) and financially (AWWWWWW!) without..... him (pause. confusion)