The Emmys have become the Grammys

What do I mean by that? 

On several occasions someone bursts upon the music scene and wins sixteen Grammys and two years later is completely forgotten.  Norah Jones, anybody?   The Emmy competition for Best Comedy is now very similar.  Shows are now really “the flavor of the month.” 

Remember all the hype about GIRLS?  And then FLEABAG?   The zeitgeist has moved on.

Now partly this is because these series are not long lasting.  They make 20 episodes not 200. Also because they’re on cable or streaming platforms and don’t have the overall exposure that a broadcast network can provide. 

But I also think today’s sitcoms tends to be so of the moment that when the zeitgeist moves on they’re left by the side of the road.  That’s not a knock on them.  It’s the current trend.  But it may come with a price of standing the test of time.

For much of the 1970’s the nominees and winners were ALL IN THE FAMILY, MASH, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, SANFORD & SON, TAXI, and BARNEY MILLER.  All are beloved shows today. 

In the 1980’s the shows that battled each other year after year were CHEERS, GOLDEN GIRLS, THE COSBY SHOW, FAMILY TIES, and THE WONDER YEARS.  Pretty good for 40 years ago.

The 1990’s featured these shows that duked it out yearly: SEINFELD, CHEERS, MURPHY BROWN, THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW, HOME IMPROVEMENT, FRASIER, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, and FRIENDS.  MURPHY BROWN suffered from topical references but was still enough of a "thing" that CBS chose to reboot it. 

MODERN FAMILY dominated the ‘00s and teens but competition was LOUIE, MASTER OF NONE, GLOW, THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL, RUSSIAN DOLL (why that’s a comedy I don’t know) among others.  There were stand outs like VEEP, and CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM but again, how many of them will mean anything in another ten years?  Or three?  Some don’t mean anything already.

Obviously, when making a sitcom you don’t spend a lot of time wondering what audiences will be watching in fifty years,   But it seems there are fewer of them now, and one factor in a great sitcom is its ability to leave a mark.   I guess what I’m saying is will somebody please create the next FRIENDS?  

9-11 and David & Lynn Angel

This is my Weekend Post.  It's 9-11.  I re-post this every year on this date and always will. 

9/11 affected us all, profoundly and in many cases personally. Two of my dear friends were on flight 11. David and Lynn Angell. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of them, missed them, and not felt grateful that they were in my life.

David and I worked together on CHEERS, WINGS, and FRASIER (the latter two he co-created). We used to call him the “dean”. In his quiet way he was the one we always looked to for final approval of a line or a story direction. He brought a warmth and humanity to his writing that hopefully rubbed off on the rest of us “schickmeisters”. And he could be funny – sneaky funny. During long rewrite sessions he tended to be quiet. Maybe two or three times a night he’d pitch a joke – but they were always the funniest jokes of the script.


For those of you hoping to become comedy writers yourselves, let David Angell be your inspiration. Before breaking in he worked in the U.S. Army, the Pentagon, an insurance firm, an engineering company, and then when he finally moved out to L.A. he did “virtually every temp job known to man” for five years. Sometimes even the greatest talents take awhile to be recognized.

I first met David the first season of CHEERS. He came in to pitch some stories. He had been recommended after writing a good NEWHART episode. This shy quiet man who looked more like a quantum physics professor than a comedy writer, slinked into the room, mumbled through his story pitches, and we all thought, “is this the right guy? He sure doesn’t seem funny.” Still, he was given an assignment (“Pick a con…any con”) and when the script came back everyone was just blown away. He was quickly given a second assignment (“Someone single, someone blue”) and that draft came back even better. I think the first order of business for the next season was to hire David Angell on staff.

After 9/11, David’s partners Peter Casey & David Lee called me and my partner into their office. There was a FRASIER script David Angell was about to write. (It was the one where Lilith’s brother arrived in a wheelchair and became an evangelist. Michael Keaton played the part.) Peter & David asked if we would write it and for me that was a greater honor than even winning an Emmy.

David’s wife, Lynn, was also an inspiration. She devoted her life to helping others – tirelessly working on creating a children’s library and a center that serves abused children.

My heart goes out to their families. To all of the families.

I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

So tragic, so senseless, and even twenty years later, so inconceivable.

Friday Questions

I haven’t had a Natalie Wood photo for awhile so thought I’d just sneak one in.  More FQ’s from vaccinated readers.

RyderDA is up first.

You mention how much is riding on the pilot of a series to you personally in order to keep watching for the long haul. Can you think of examples of weak pilots that turned into killer shows? How about strong pilots that became even better in Episode 2 and beyond?

The one that leaps to mind is PARKS AND RECREATION.  HAPPY DAYS is another show that really took off after its pilot.  

When characters break out, shows then take on a life of their own.  The Fonz, Alex Keaton, Urkel all were happy surprises and their shows benefited greatly.  

I’m sure you guys could name a bunch of weak pilots that became hit series.  Most shows need time to grow since it’s not uncommon.  

From Brian Phillisp:

You've mentioned favorite writers, actors and directors. Who were/are some of the favorite people you've worked with that are not one of the above?

I could list almost everyone on crews I’ve worked with.  These dedicated craftsmen are the absolute backbone of the industry and don’t get nearly the recognition they deserve.  I salute each and every one of them.  

I would like to single out writers assistants we have had, however.  David Isaacs and I wrote in a very unusual way. We dictated scripts to an assistant who took down shorthand.  That was quite a skill (probably an obsolete one today) and we had some great assistants.  So in no particular order: eternal thanks to Sue Herring, Lana Lewis, Nancy Kopang, Ruth Horne, Sherry Falk, Linda Silverthorn, Ginny Olah, Barry Zajac, Donna Wheeler, Katy Penland, and Roz Jacob.  

Mike Bloodworth wonders:

Do you have notebooks, old napkins and/or computer files with potential jokes, premises, situations, etc., that you saved because you felt that you could use them someday? Sort of the comedy version of hoarding.

Follow up. If yes, have you used any of that archived material in, for example, in any of your recent plays?

I keep a manila folder of ideas — either for plays, TV series, or movies.  Sometimes they’re rather detailed, other times they’re just a scrap of paper with one sentence.   Most of these notions will never see the light of day, but every so often I’ll come up with something and realize a notion I had stashed away would work well with this.  

But I never keep a joke file.  My jokes come from character and attitude and are customized to fit the situation.

Long ago there was a comedy writer who traveled with card catalogs.  The room would be looking for a joke on used car salesmen and he would rifle through his files to find “used car salesmen” jokes.  

One time he was hired to write on a variety show being taped in London.  His card files was in luggage that got lost.  For three days he was absolutely useless in the room until the luggage was recovered.   He's maybe the last writer I would ever hire.  

And finally, from Steve McLean:

Just as 'Cheers' was becoming a huge hit, Ted Danson took a role in the TV movie 'Something About Amelia' playing a father who has been sexually molesting his daughter. The movie did well in the ratings and Ted won a Golden Globe for his performance but do you remember if the producers or the network were initially worried about him taking such a controversial role and its potential impact on the show?

I believe he filmed that before CHEERS.  He also did a guest appearance on a show called TUCKER’S WITCH, which ran opposite CHEERS one night.  We gave him a lot of shit for that one.  

What’s your question?   And at the risk of pissing off people because I want you all to be safe and healthy — get vaccinated.

EP241: Meet Character Actor, Paul Willson

Paul Willson has been on over 120 shows and movies, many as a recurring character, including CHEERS. He’s also been in OFFICE SPACE. It’s a unique journey through show business as told by one very funny actor.

More podcasts at WAVE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/artist/wave-podcast-network/1437831426

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

The greatest sign-off ever

Here’s another Friday Question that became an entire post. 

Joseph Price filed it.

Ken, I remember you told a hilarious story on your podcast about a radio DJ who attempted to prevent his firing by playing a specific song... (trying not to spoil it for your blog audience). Is it possible for you to share it on this blog? I couldn't find the story again.  

Okay, some backstory:  Radio in the ‘60s and ‘70s was a great time.  All local stations, all local DJ’s. 

But it was also very unstable.  Top 40 radio was a constant revolving door.  New program directors, bad rating books, new owners, new format, new directions — they all contributed to maybe the most insecure job on the planet.   DJ’s were nomads.  My disc jockey career, for example:  I was a jock in Bakersfield, San Bernardino, Detroit, New York, San Diego, San Francisco, Chicago, and Los Angeles. 

I’d be hard-pressed to name a jock from that era who didn’t get fired at least three times.  It was four for me.  And that’s over a period of a few years.  I was a TV writer for 40 years and was never fired once (show cancellations don’t count — that’s not personal). 

When you’re fired in radio, rarely do you have any warning.  I think my final sign-off on several stations was “See you tomorrow night.” 

If we got advance warning it was usually because we saw the trade papers advertising for our jobs, or the PD was constantly on your case.  All of a sudden you could do nothing right. 

Now, getting to Joseph's request. I believe this happened in Kansas City in the late ‘60s.  The morning DJ got wind that he was about to be fired.  Then ten minutes before his shift ended the program director stuck his head in to say “Please come to my office when you’re done with your show.”  He didn’t need tea leaves to know he was about to be canned. 

So he had ten minutes to think of something.  

Some DJ’s in that situation bad mouth the station on the air.  That usually comes back to bite them when they try for other jobs.  This gentleman was far more shrewd.

Just before his sign-off he went on the air and said this (I’m paraphrasing): “I want to end my show today by playing a record.  The management does not want me to play this record.  In all likelihood I’m going to get fired for playing this record, and this is the last time you hear my voice.  But I feel so strongly about it, that I don’t care.  Even if I do lose my job, there are certain beliefs that are more important.  So here’s the record this station does not want you to hear.”

And he played the National Anthem.

The station phone lines blew up.  There was outrage in the community.  He was still fired of course, but not before causing the station a world of grief. 

God, I miss radio.  

The present downfall of comedy

WARNING: RANT AHEAD

I was watching an HBO documentary on one of my idols, Mel Brooks.  It was actually a compilation of BBC interviews done over the years.   In an earlier interview he was talking about THE PRODUCERS and “Springtime for Hitler” and how audacious that project was.   He was saying it was a great time for comedy because there were no limits placed on your imagination.  You could go as far as you wanted to go.  

And my response to that was, “Boy, not today.”

I can’t think of a worse time for comedy.  Everybody has to be so sensitive, no one can ever be offended ever again.  The slightest slight can label you a racist.  The most innocent physical description can brand you as body shaming or sexist or objectifying.   

I showed my 5 year-old granddaughter, ALADDIN on Disney + and it now comes with a long disclaimer warning of all the horrible callous racist things this cartoon contains.  We’re not talking BIRTH OF A NATION.  We’re not talking AMOS & ANDY.  This is ALADDIN with Robin Williams.  What once was whimsy is now “inappropriate.”   But I guess not inappropriate enough since Disney still has the stage version and is raking in money hand over fist. 

On my podcast, Joe Buck asked if I still do award show reviews?  The answer is no. How do you do a snarky review when you can’t make fun of anyone’s appearance?  When you can’t make fun of any of the addled celebrity presenters?   If one of the red carpet commentators happens to be BIPOC you can’t point out any moronic thing he might say.  Even if you just transcribe word for word his idiotic question or comment you’re still a racist.   So why review them anymore?  Who needs the pushback and outrage over… well, nothing?  

Not to mention how a slightly insensitive joke or Tweet from 25 years ago can now get you fired. 

I look at the wondrous body of work we have from Mel Brooks and how today he couldn’t make any of his movies.  None.  He fearlessly made fun of everything.  He had free license to take his imagination to the farthest limit.   What young Mel Brooks is self-censoring himself today?  Or not even bothering?  

It’s not a matter of sensitivity.  It’s a matter of lightening up.  The world would be a better place if we laughed more.  Especially now.  And it wouldn’t necessarily be at the expense of embracing other cultures.   As they say to the refs in the NBA:  “Just let the boys play.” 

I miss Jerry

It began locally in New York in 1966.  THE JERRY LEWIS LABOR DAY TELETHON.  They raised over a million that first year, which is phenomenal.   Eventually it went national and shifted to Las Vegas.  Jerry called upon his show business friends to perform and the telethon really became a “thing.”  Frank Sinatra got Dean Martin to go on one year and reunite with Jerry.  Norm Crosby seemed to appear every hour. 

It was the great annual cheese event — primarily because Jerry became so supercilious and maudlin.  The best part was his treacly introductions, his oozing faux sincerity. Every performer was an “incredible human being and true humanitarian.”  Every artist was “gifted,” “irreplaceable,” “a genius,” “a giant,” “a legend.”  Norm Crosby, a genius? 

Sadly, the telethon eventually ended (as did Jerry some years later).  And I really miss it.  For kitsch there was nothing like it.  Jerry singing “Rock a Bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody” towards the end of each show as if that were a big fucking deal.   And there was sidekick, Ed McMahon to chortle uproariously at everything Jerry did.  The amazing genius performers at 7 AM on Labor Day were usually dog acts from Circus Circus.   The big guns came later in the afternoon.  I don’t think Frank Sinatra was ever up before noon (unless he heard the woman’s husband coming home unexpectedly).

But the thing I miss most is THE JERRY LEWIS TELETHON was a shared national event.  And we have so few of those left.  

Labor Day is always bittersweet.  It marks the end of summer but the return of pumpkin-spiced Starbucks latte. 

Happy Labor Day.  Jerry, wherever you are, don’t go changin’.  Lunch sometime? Awesome.  I’ll have my people call your people, unless you don’t have people, in which I’d be happy to loan you some of mine.

Happy Labor Day, everybody.

Weekend Post

 I once related the story of my partner and I attending an awards ceremony looking like idiots in matching brown tuxedos and peach ruffled shirts. But that is not to suggest that I don't normally dress extremely well. In fact, I was in GQ.

No. Really.

Honest.

I’m serious.

Somehow GQ magazine got wind of my going off to Syracuse in 1988 to announce minor league baseball. They decided to do an article about me. My wife is still laughing. “You in GQ?”

I did the phone interview with Ron Powers who wrote the piece. Then I got a call from their photographer. They wanted to take pictures of me that Friday at a local baseball stadium. I said fine. The photographer then wanted to know what I’d be wearing. I said I didn’t know. This was only Monday and my mom usually doesn’t pick out my clothes until the night before. He asked my measurements and said he would bring something. Now I was a little pissed off. Just because I was a writer did he automatically assume I was a schlump? I can't believe he saw me on DON KIRSCHNER'S ROCK AWARDS. I told him I would bring my own wardrobe. Obviously his concern was not assuaged. He asked if I’d bring a selection.

I’m the same height and size as Ted Danson. The next day I went to the CHEERS wardrobe guy and asked if I could borrow some Sam Malone shirts and slacks.

Friday afternoon I hooked up with the photographer. I think I was wearing a torn t-shirt. There was already a lump in his throat. I opened my trunk and let him examine my selection. The accompanying picture is a well...an approximation. His eyes almost popped out. “Jesus, this is great stuff!” he said, astonished. “Any one of these would be perfect.” “Well YEAH,” I said as if it couldn't be more obvious. “It might surprise you to learn that most television writers are total fashion hounds. Much of the time in writers rooms is spent discussing men’s haberdashery.”

I accepted his apology and hoped that he had a new respect for how writers really felt about wardrobe.

He went off to set up his camera while I put one of the shirts on, glad that he didn’t see the “Property of Paramount Pictures” tag that was still on the sleeve.

The article came out August 1988. I see my shirt all the time in reruns.

Friday Questions

And we are now in September already.  Yikes.  Here are questions from vaccinated readers.  What’s yours?

Stephen Cudmore is up first.

MASH had a lot of anachronisms in it, like Radar doing an impression of John Wayne from McClintock. Were these goofs, or at some point did the writers decide they were okay with the show not being set in any particular decade?

I would say that 90% of the goofs, mostly anachronisms, were unintentional.  Here's one you may not know:  In our first episode, OUT OF SIGHT/OUT OF MIND in the tag if you look closely, you’ll see one of the nurses is reading the paperback of JAWS.  

But it was tough since the show lasted 11 years and the war lasted 2.  Trying to keep a timeline was impossible.  And later in the run they did an episode that all took place over one the course of one year and the completely obliterated any timeline and the existence of Trapper, Henry, and Frank. I wasn’t with the show then.  

B Smith asks:

Perhaps I haven't looked hard enough, but I've yet to see a film or TV show that acknowledges the COVID-19 pandemic (never gets mentioned, no-one wears a mask, no restrictions or anti-vaxxers). Given that it's probably not going to disappear miraculously, do you think films and TV set in the present day ought to?

There are shows that deal with it.  Two, off the top of my head, are THE GOOD FIGHT and BULL.  I’m sure my astute readers will have other examples.

It’s a tricky dance. You want to be true to the real world, but audiences don’t like seeing it.  And I think when the idiots finally get vaccinated and this goes away (years later than it should with much more hardship that could have been avoided), there will be no nostalgia for this period.  Viewers won’t want to be reminded of it.   So for a show to dwell on the current situation does so with the understanding that their shelf life might be limited.  

How I would handle it?  It truly would depend on the show and how necessary it was to deal with the pandemic.   Bring back MASH.

From MikeN:

Why are Cheers and Frasier on Paramount instead of Peacock?

Because the shows are Paramount shows and they’re owned by Viacom, which owns CBS and Paramount +.  Although those shows aired originally on NBC, they have no hold on them and so Peacock is out of luck.  

It’s one of the main reasons why networks wanted to own their own shows.   Peacock would love to have FRIENDS.  But they’re owned by Warner Brothers so HBO Max is their home.  

And finally, Darwin's Ghost has a question about the JEOPARDY host opening.

Serious question, Ken. Why don't you audition? You've got tons of presenting experience, you're funny, and you know the show inside out. And the only thing anyone could dig up from the past is Mannequin 2, and that wasn't your fault.

Call your agent to get on it Monday morning!

Thank you for your faith in me.  I think they’re looking for someone a little younger and someone who has an actual name that people know. 

But when Vanna White retires…

EP240: Name Dropping Theater

Ken drops names and tells stories about various celebrities he has encountered. Along with some tips for those who come to LA hoping to spot stars.

Become a member today by going to https://feals.com/levine & you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.

More podcasts at WAVE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/artist/wave-podcast-network/1437831426

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

Ed Asner & Misc-takes

In no order of importance except for the first item.

I loved Ed Asner and had the pleasure of working with him three times.  I directed him twice and he graciously did a play reading of mine (see above photo).  He was a total mensch, a pleasure to work with, and had a wicked sense of humor.  The last time I saw him was just before the pandemic at another memorial and in a room filled with comedy writers he was the funniest.  I didn’t write a full tribute because I really didn’t know him all that well.  Usually, I like to share some personal stories and provide a perspective you won't find elsewhere.  But in this case, I’d just be repeating what everyone else said.  Suffice it to say, he lived a good long life and spread joy and humanity wherever he went.  I don’t know about your Facebook news feed, but mine is filled with people who all had their pictures taken with Ed. I think in 91 years he met everybody in show business.  And they all loved him.

Get vaccinated.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by Hurricane Ida.  It’s times like this you put aside politics.

Get vaccinated.

Interesting how the Mets players are turning on the fans.  And Mets fans are pussycats compared to Red Sox and Phillies fans.  

Get vaccinated.

Big shocker that Mike Richards was fired as Executive Producer of JEOPARDY and WHEEL OF FORTUNE.  I’m now waiting for the axe to fall on some of the Sony executives who let this whole fiasco happen.  

Get vaccinated.

In a new poll the Dodgers are now the most hated team in baseball.  Take that Yankees! LA rules!

Get vaccinated.

Who bets on NFL pre-season games?  Good luck with that.  

Get vaccinated.

Elaine Welteroth exits THE TALK.  Who is Elaine Welteroth? 

Get vaccinated.

Hey, the network Fall Season is about to begin!!!!  Yawn.

Get vaccinated.  

When you and your friends discuss series you’re currently watching, how many of them are broadcast network shows?  I’m guessing none.

How many idiot “COVID-is-a-hoax/anti vaxer/anti mask” radio talk show hosts have to die of COVID before people wise up?  So far, four.  

Get… you know the rest. 

The stages of watching a new show

These are the stages I go through to watch a limited series on cable or a streaming channel.  Is this just me or do you follow this basic pattern too?  

First off, there are so many shows on so many platforms I just wait for people to recommend a new show.  And of course it has to be on a platform that I can get.  

Reading subtitles off of TV is too annoying.  If it’s a foreign show I need it to be dubbed.  This can be problematic, especially if the show is Danish and everyone speaks in a Welsh accent.  That said, if the show is good I stick it out.  

I sit down and watch the first episode.  I realize it’s a first episode and they’re setting things up so I give it a certain amount of space.  Better episodes are likely coming.  But if I’m bored out of my mind, or find I just don’t like the subject matter, or hate all the characters then it’s one and done.  

When the pilot is over I ask myself whether I want to see episode two? In a few rare cases I fall in love with the series right from the get-go and I am all in.  But for most I’ll be saying, “Well, it’s kinda interesting,” “It’s sort of funny,” “I like the cast,” or “There’s gratuitous nudity” and decide to watch episode two.

Same question for episode three.  Am I getting sucked in?  Is it getting better?  Is it starting to make sense?  Has this comedy made me laugh once?

But generally after episode three comes the BIG decision.  Because here is where I either get off the train and stick it out till the end.  

And if I’m still in, there’s one more question: It’s 11:30 PM.  I’ve got to get up early the next morning.  An episode ends. Do I watch one more?   If the answer is yes, then THAT’S a series I love.   Most series  I can cheerfully watch an episode a night, but when I’m totally engrossed I have to burn through it.  Those are the shows I tell others about so they can go through the same line of questions. 

CHEERS to the jokes we didn't use

I saw a CHEERS episode recently (no, it wasn’t one we wrote) and noticed a certain joke was missing.  Not worth telling you the joke; you’d have to know the context.  But it was probably cut in syndication so they could squeeze in more reverse mortgage ads.  

But it got me to thinking.  There were so many jokes over the course of a season of CHEERS that never made it to air.  Not because they were bad (well some of them were), but because the story shifted or time constraints or we just thought of better ones.  

Let’s take a typical episode.  The writer works with the staff to lay out the story.  Along the way the staff pitches possible jokes. These are transcribed and the writer may use them when writing his outline.  He uses a few, meaning a bunch are washed ashore.  He writes alternate and new jokes.

He meets with the staff again to get notes on the outline.  More jokes are offered.  Sometimes the decision is made to change whole chunks of the story.  So all the jokes in the discarded chunks now don’t apply.  

The writer composes the first draft, adding a lot of new jokes along the way.  He gets notes, more jokes are cut, new story elements are introduced and other jokes are left by the side of the road.  

Once the writer turns in his second draft it goes to the staff for the rewrite.  Scripts can change from 10-100%.  Jokes and sometimes whole storylines are thrown out.  

Once the script goes into production, there are table readings or run-throughs every day and those require rewrites.  More jokes crash and burn.  

The show is filmed and generally is too long.  Editing eliminates even more jokes, sometimes really good jokes, but you never want to sacrifice story for jokes.  

And then there’s editing for syndication.

Now imagine this happening 25 times a season.  That’s a shit-ton of jokes that never make it to air.  But we always considered that was part of the job.  To be on staff you had to be prolific.  It’s not like a comic strip where you’re required to come up with seven jokes a week.  If you were on a staff of CHEERS (and this goes for most sitcoms I’m sure), you needed to churn out seven jokes every twenty minutes.  It can be a grind, but boy, you laugh a lot.  The jokes just keep coming.  If you've got to spend twelve hours a day in a room, there are worse ones I can think of.

Happy Birthday, Annie!

Today is my lovely daughter, Annie's birthday.   She and her husband, Jonathan, are comedy writers, currently Co-Executive Producers of THE UPSHAWS on Netflix.  I thought to celebrate her birthday I would re-post an essay she and Jon wrote for this blog in 2013 about another birthday and the charming gift she received.  I think she entered the right field.  Happy Birthday, Annie.  I love you.

Everyone likes to think their coworkers respect them…

Mine bought me a Groupon to a pole dancing class for my birthday. (Based on the average age of my coworkers, I chose to take this as a sign of admiration for my functional hips.)

I didn't plan to actually use the thing until my dad demanded I do a blog post about it. Most parents tend to discourage their children entering the world of erotic dancing. Mine bought me kneepads and offered to drive.

I'm lucky to have found the place at all. There was no sign out front, no mention on any directory, absolutely no distinguishing marks of any kind. Areola 51.

I finally discovered the way in and was rewarded for my perseverance with a dimly lit studio whose windows were blacked out by feather boas. It was like stumbling into RuPaul's doomsday bunker.

The class was called Pole Diva (Level 1) and the teacher was a pocket-sized Latina woman who kept criticizing everybody's "sexy pushups."

For the uninitiated, "sexy pushups" are when you caress your body before Shamu sliding along the hardwood and pulling yourself back up. Making sure to rub your hips again for good measure. Based on how my classmates looked doing them, I think "sexy pushup" is meant to be one of those ironic terms like "FOX comedy."

Not that everyone was bad at it. The woman in front of me was clearly the star pupil, and by the end of class even I was throwing her a few singles.

The humiliation of the "sexy pushup" (thoughtfully enhanced by the floor to ceiling mirrors we performed in front of) finally came to an end. It was time to strap on our kneepads (thanks again, Dad!) and pick our pole.

They offered us bottles of alcohol to disinfect the poles before use. I requested penicillin.

We learned a few different spins over the course of the hour. They all had fun names like "the sunburst" and "the firefly." Each one a new way to wind up with my ass on the floor and legs spread wide. The actual spinning was fun, though, until my teacher scolded me for yelling, "Wheeee!"

A large part of pole dancing seems to be walking around the pole, doing a sort of Igor foot drag. I pictured Martha Graham spinning in her grave every time this was referred to as choreography.

By the end of class, I was so black and blue my dancer name would have been Hematoma. (In actuality, I would choose something a little more exotic if I ever entered the profession. Right now the top candidate is Treif Magnifique.)

The staff knew most of us were only in it for the one class. Still, they kept pressuring us to come back. On our way out, they made sure we knew that they were available for parties. I'm still not clear if they were talking about the studio or the instructors.

I'm sure if I kept at it, I could graduate to Pole Vixen (Level 2). I would love to see that ceremony. No gowns or mortarboards; just the tassels.

That said, I think it's safe to say pole dancing is not going to be added to my list of hobbies. I'd much rather bake the cake than jump out of it.

Weekend Post

I've told this story before.  But it's one of my favorites.  

It wasn’t a long meeting. But it was memorable.

Winter 1973. I’m an engineer at KABC and KLOS radio in Los Angeles. Essentially I worked as a board op for KLOS. That meant I played the records and commercials. Union rules prohibited the disc jockeys from doing anything other than turning on and off their microphoness. Oh, and they could talk. They got that concession.

It was a cool job. KLOS played what today we call “classic rock.” Album cuts and Layla. I loved the music and the jocks were all terrific dudes. I’m still friends with Jim Ladd, Marc Driscoll, and Dion Jackson from that talented staff.

Occasionally I would have to go across the hall and handle KABC talk shows. That was fun too. Talk radio in those days welcomed different points of view, not just one. Imagine such a concept – a balance of ideas. I know. It was crazy.

I’m working one Saturday night on KLOS. I’m on my break. It’s about 9:45. The 10:00 KABC talk show host was Elliott Mintz. There was a long hallway at KABC/KLOS that led to the side entrance. I step out of our studio and happen to glance down the hallway. Holy shit! There’s John Lennon and Yoko Ono buzzing to be let in. They were Elliott’s scheduled guests. ( Elliott is still Yoko’s publicist, by the way.)

I duck my head into the KABC control room and say I’ll get them. Then I barrel down the hall and usher them in. I introduce myself and shake hands with them both. Yoko’s handshake is firmer than John’s.

He’s wearing a blue jean shirt and khakis. She’s wearing a huge black fur that must weigh sixty pounds.

I’ve got about twenty seconds alone with John & Yoko as I lead them down this long hall. What do you say to them?

At the time there was a very popular album by the National Lampoon that featured a very funny send-up of John called “Magical Misery Tour.” In that song he’s forever yelling, “I’m a fuckin’ genius!”

I don’t know what possessed me but I say to John, “So… what’s it like being a fuckin’ genius?” Without breaking stride he gives me a big grin and says, “Pretty nice, actually!”

That was it. We arrive at the studio and Elliott takes it from there. I couldn’t even hang back to watch the interview. I was due back at KLOS at 10:00.

But it brings up an interesting question. If you get to meet someone you idolize and you have time to ask him just one thing, what would it be? I’m sure had I known in advance that I would be meeting John I would have prepared something a little less – how should I say it? – obnoxious, but I just had the sense he would take the question in the spirit it was asked and in fact he did.

I didn’t have time to ask Yoko a question. Which is probably good. I don’t think she would have seen the whimsy in “What dead animal is that?”

So there’s my twenty second brush with greatness… and his wife.

Here's Magical Misery Tour.

 

 

Friday Questions

If you’re vaccinated I’d love to answer your Friday Question.  Here are this week’s:

Brandon in Virginia starts us off.

In watching a lot of MeTV over the years, I noticed Paramount and MTM used supporting cast members or character actors on other shows a lot. Off the top of my head, Tom Hanks did Taxi, Happy Days, and Family Ties a few months after Bosom Buddies's cancellation. Another is Christopher Lloyd as an artist on Cheers.

Were actors simply kept in a "database" for different shows, or did producers keep actors like Tom in mind, since they were probably on the same soundstage at Paramount?

Not so much a database as the writers from all those various shows knowing each other.  We all had a pipeline and would pass along names of actors who worked out well for us.  

We also admired each other’s shows so watched them ourselves.  And we’d make note of a guest actor who really impressed us.

In the case of Christopher Lloyd doing CHEERS, the Charles Brothers and Jimmy all worked on TAXI and knew him.  So, in that case, they just picked up the phone.  

From Call Me Mike:

After recently watching a "very special episode" of WKRP in Cincinnati, "In Concert," which addressed the Who concert disaster of 1979 and the dangers of festival seating, I realized Cheers never really did an issue episode such as that. Were you ever asked to write one? Did the network ever push for it?

CHEERS was not an issue-oriented show.  I guess you could say “Boys in the Bar” was an issue episode, but we made no big deal of it.  

We were more interested in relationships.  Besides, there was Normal Lear to do all the issue shows.  It’s not like we needed to fill a void.  

To their credit, NBC never pressed us.  In fact, they totally left us alone in regards to stories.  And in those days, stories did not have to be approved by the network.

Those “very special episodes” always sounded incredibly pretentious to me.  And most of the time it was the networks who branded these episodes as “special,” not the show runner.  

Kyle Burress asks:

During the course of your career what actor/actress that you worked with surprised you the most by their performance? Who far exceeded your expectations? On a similar note, who do you think grew and developed the most over the course of time that you worked with them?  

We knew Nancy Travis was good but were blown away by how spectacular she was.  

The actress who developed the most would be Kirstie Alley, but part of that was our fault.  As originally conceived, “Rebecca Howe” was a martinet.  It was only when we discovered she was funny when she was a mental wreck that her character really took off. And she just got better and better.  

And finally, from Puck:

What is the most egregious unprofessional behavior you've seen from an actor, both a regular and guest star? How did you as a writer/showrunner/director deal with those kinds of situations?

Hard to top this one.  On CHEERS a guest actor freaked out after the dress rehearsal, got in his car, drove off the lot, and never came back for the filming.   I don’t have to tell you that was the last TV acting gig he ever got.  Remember that pipeline?

We recast the role and filmed those scenes the following week. 

EP239: Beware of Agents!

Ken has had some “unpleasant" encounters with Hollywood agents. Not many, but enough to fill an entertaining episode of dish.

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Misc - Takes

In no order of importance…

Since Pfizer has been fully approved by the FDA you now need to be vaccinated to read this blog.  

Hey, it’s football season again.  Quick!  Name the team that lost this year’s Super Bowl.  

THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM is mercifully over.  Preston Beckman, who was a network executive for over 25 years, including many moons at NBC where he did the scheduling during the Must-See TV era, wrote a dead-on review of THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM in his blog.  Check it out.   Hint: He hated it even more than I did... and I didn't think that was possible. 

As if things aren’t scary enough in the world comes this headline from the CNN website:  McDonalds runs out of milkshakes in the UK.  

Just give the damn JEOPARDY hosting job to Mayim and be done with it.  

Joe Buck got one of the highest ratings of guest hosts.  I’d like to think it’s due to my podcast.  (Okay, I’m the only one thinking that.)

Preston Beckman was also on my podcast, if you’re interested.  

THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM considered EIGHT IS ENOUGH as a situation comedy.  If so, then PETTICOAT JUNCTION was a gripping drama.

It’s a seller’s market if you got a late model car to unload.  

I’m still waiting for the movie to come out that would get me back into a movie theatre.  

Remember when “Pennant Races” were the thing to watch once you got to the Dog Days of Summer?  Now they’re meh because the team that just falls short gets into the playoffs anyway.  So the real drama comes in the Wild Card races.  And this year’s American League Wild Card chase is the fun thing to follow.  Interesting stat: The Mariners have a run differential of -60 and yet are only 3 games back.  

It used to be just billboards for TV shows vying for Emmys.  “For Your Consideration” billboards dotted the LA landscape.  And now, in addition, there are actual commercials on local stations pleading for your votes.  

Now I know why Andrew Cuomo was so reluctant to give up his office as NY governor — The TV Academy has rescinded his International Emmy.  

Waited an hour for my food at Baltaire in Brentwood, California Tuesday night.  Meanwhile, one of the women from FBOY ISLAND was at the next table and got free champagne.  Her food came right away and she didn’t eat a bite of it.  Why didn’t they screw up her order instead?  

Every time I do these “Misc-Take” posts, they’re a tribute to the great Allan Mallamud of the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner and later the Times.  

Since Dexter is coming back and was set in Florida, could he stop by the governor’s office?

The comments from yesterday’s post make it very clear — folks are quite content to miss shows, even if they’re good, if it means paying for too many services.  Streaming services are beginning to remind me of radio in the past.  If you were on a station with a strong signal (ie Netflix) people paid attention.  If you were on a station with a weaker signal (ie Paramount +) you were talking to yourself no matter how good the product.  

What I don’t understand is why Paramount + doesn’t show ALMOST PERFECT.  They own it and it’s 34 episodes.  And it's not like they've got a super great library anyway.

The hurricane couldn’t wait until Barry Manilow finished his song?  

Get vaccinated! 

THE GOOD FIGHT deserves better

For some reason, some shows never get the recognition (i.e. Emmy love) that they deserve.  One such show is THE GOOD FIGHT on Paramount +.  One reason may be that it’s on Paramount +.  If it were on Netflix or HBO Max there would be more subscribers to watch it.  Unless you're one of those people who've signed up for five or six platforms I imagine you don't subscribe to Paramount + (or Peacock).

Not to take anything away from other very excellent dramas, and because of all the platforms there is a plethora of them, but THE GOOD FIGHT seems left out of the conversation when Emmy noms are handed out.   

It’s just not in the Zeitgest, which is a little odd because I can’t think of a recent drama that references the current politics and news events as much as THE GOOD FIGHT does.  From the election to insurrection, cancel culture, inclusion, pandemic — they’re all addressed but in a human way that illustrates just how these events affect us personally.  

Episode 4 of the new season is a whole take down on how overly sensitive we are to jokes.  Among the many jokes presented, as a throwaway, was Selena Gomez and her kidney transplant.  And wouldn't you know, Selena Gomez was outraged and Twitter blew up.  See tomorrow's post when I touch more on this topic.

As for this season, I will say I miss Delroy Lindo and Cush Jumbo who left this season, but new addition Mandy Patinkin is a hoot, and Sarah Steele “steals” the show.  

The storylines are always compelling, they take big swings at the plate, and the dashes of humor are generally laugh-out-loud funny.  There are creative touches including animation and songs. They somehow manage to combine stark realism with utter absurdity.   For my money it’s the best written drama on whatever is considered television these days.  

THE GOOD FIGHT has everything but buzz.  And I guess you need that more than anything else.  Too bad they didn't set the show in Hawaii. 

"Do not try this at home."

Needless to say I received lots of comments on my weekend post about Mike Richards.  The cancel culture will actually be the recurring theme in these next few posts.  

Yes, the things Richards said in those podcast episodes were offensive.  But I have a theory I’ve yet to see mentioned anywhere else.  

People say stupid things when they try to be funny and they’re inherently not funny.  And that includes racist remarks and sexist remarks.  

They hear Howard Stern pull it off, or Don Rickles, or Richard Pryor and they think they can too.   But they can’t.  

And let’s be honest, sexist, racist jokes are easy.  Instead of displaying real wit they go after easy targets.  

We all know these people.  They’re the insufferable ones we run from at parties, usually after a few drinks (post 9:00 PM).  Women must get this a lot; nimrods trying to impress them with their dazzling sense of humor.  Inappropriate lines just spew out.  

But at least they’re not broadcasting.

When you go on a podcast you are not only broadcasting, you’re broadcasting to the entire world.  And unlike radio where you say something once and it’s gone in the ether, podcast content remains, sometimes forever.   

Same is true for posting on Facebook or Twitter or any social media site.  You may think just three of your friends are seeing your Tweet but that’s always the case.  It’s a form of broadcasting.  

Especially now, that we’re all so hyper sensitive, we all have to be careful and exhibit good judgement, and that could be a problem for unfunny people who think they’re funny because their judgement is already cloudy.   Leave the comedy to the pros.  

Reminder: No comments by anonymous or unknown readers will be posted. Leave a name.

Weekend Post

So the Mike Richards era of hosting JEOPARDY is over.  That lasted… one day of taping.  My question is who vets these guys?  If websites are able to turn up this info, why can’t Sony put a few drones on the case to check out someone’s background before you give him the keys to your Rolls Royce and say, “Sure, go off-roading”?    It’s just nuts.

So the show goes a whole year with guest hosts, some painful like Dr. Oz, getting the audience all stirred up.  And it ends like this. 

All along it was a Faustian contract because all the attention you get from the on-air audition process comes back to bite you when you ultimately make a decision and 50% or 70% of your fans are pissed because they wanted someone else.   Like I said last week, had they just installed a new host after Alex died there would have been an adjustment period and eventually the new guy would just be “the guy.”  

TV networks used to air all their failed pilots in the summer.  They had paid for them and this allowed them to recoup something while filling summer space.   We in the industry used to call it “Failure Theatre.”  One of the reasons networks discontinued the practice was people were complaining that the failed pilots were better than the shows they picked up.  Networks learned not to air their dirty laundry.

So now we get more guest hosts.  Here are my suggestions, Sony:  OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, Andrew Cuomo, and R Kelly. 

Good luck Sony, when Pat Sajak leaves WHEEL OF FORTUNE.  Maybe Harvey Weinstein could be let out for a work program? 

Friday Questions

Working our way through August FQ’s.  You have to be vaccinated to submit one. 

UPDATE:  I will discuss the Mike Richards one-day fall from grace for my weekend post. Stay tuned. 

Chris Dahl gets us started.

I was reading a blog other than your own (hard to believe, but I do read other blogs) and in the comments section of this different blog a conversation evolved around the timing of episode releases.  Netflix is famous for dropping entire seasons at once to allow for bingeing and initially people seem to have enjoyed this. It was almost a selling point for the streaming services.

But it seems a trend is starting, at least on Disney+, to now drop new series episodes weekly just like in the good old network TV days.  The argument is that it retains the best of both worlds, allowing excitement/buzz to build over a period of time promoting the series while also allowing newcomers to catch up and join the fun.  Thoughts or comments?

I can see advantages to both.  It’s very appealing to have viewers return every week instead of one time only for an extended period of time.  Once someone is on your site they’re more apt to see what else they offer and stay longer.  But there is an additional burden placed on these shows.  Are they compelling enough that viewers are willing to wait a week to watch a new episode?   Especially when so many show are dropped in batches.  

The advantage of dropping a whole series at once is that it’s something only streamers can do.  Broadcast and cable networks can’t compete with that.  And viewing habits have changed.  With so much product out there it’s nice to find a show you like and immerse yourself in it for two or three nights then move onto something different when it concludes.  

What I find interesting about binge-watching is this:  According to viewer research, people will re-binge shows they like — occasionally multiple times.  I guess it’s like hearing your favorite song over and over except the song is ten hours long.

From Rory W:

When you were a baseball announcer, did you get approached to do local radio or TV ads?

I was listening to the radio broadcast of my hometown Cleveland baseball team when Jim "Rosie" Rosenhaus did an ad for Rose Pest Control and was wondering how sponsors approach announcers?

Do you just get a random call from someone saying, "Hey, do you want to do an ad for Neverwet Basement Waterproofing in Syracuse, NY?"

I did a couple of ads when I was with the Orioles in Baltimore.   I was the voice of some Lexus dealer (for which I was given a new Lexus to drive during the season), and my partner,  Jon Miller and I went to Washington DC to record spots for Food Giant or some market in the region.  The car dealer just called me.  He probably did that a lot — free spokesman for a loaner car (and for me, free car for an hour’s recording), and Jon got the call for the market.

I never had an agent.  In the case of the Lexus dealer, the agent’s commission would be what, the trunk?

Steve McLean has a two-part question.

I recently heard an interview with actor/director Peter Bonerz who said, "I always made the argument for the laugh track...sitting at home you become part of a larger audience." (Interesting since he is probably best known for his role on 'The Bob Newhart Show' which did not have one.)

THE BOB NEWHART SHOW did use a laugh-track to supplement the live studio audience.

That’s the network's rationale for the laugh-track.  When you go to a theatre the laughter is a shared experience and can be contagious.  But just sitting at home alone things might not seem as funny.   That’s the theory, but I think it’s bullshit.  Hearing real audience laughter is one thing.  Hearing fake laughter is insulting.  As a viewer I resent being “told” when something is funny.  Let me decide on my own.  

And the second point I'm interested in your thoughts on, Peter said that when directing later sitcoms, "The audiences come in so hot, they have been warmed up to such a degree, that they overlaugh the show. They literally laugh at anything.”

He’s absolutely right.  Audiences of hit sitcoms come in so primed to laugh because they love these characters and are so excited to be there.  

On CHEERS we really had to fight against that.  We knew that certain laughs the last couple of seasons were not earned.  We made a conscious decision to ignore that and keep our standards high because we knew the show was going into syndication, and that after a few years new viewers would join and hold the show to its highest quality.   

A hit show can be a trap the last few “beloved” years.  And it’s easy to let down knowing you’re still going to get huge laughs.   We took enormous pride in our work, and I believe it’s one of the reasons CHEERS still holds up so well today.

What’s your Friday Question?  Again, you must be vaxxed. 

EP238: Attending movie screenings

Industry people in Hollywood don’t go to movies, they go to private screenings. This week Ken’s describes his screening adventures. Lots of inside info and laughs along the way.

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Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

Leave BEWITCHED alone

I made the mistake of watching THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM Sunday night on CNN.  I’m like Charlie Brown with the football.  Every chapter pisses me off.  It’s not a history of an art form; it’s a condemnation of television for not being more inclusive.  It's taking TV to task for things it didn't do 50 years ago.  No matter what the topic they find a way to sledge hammer home that agenda.  Oliver Stone is more subtle.  

This week’s topic was “the outsider” in sitcoms.  And metaphorically space aliens were immigrants, and the Munsters were “that family” no one wanted to move to their neighborhood.   

At one point they turned their scorn towards BEWITCHED.  Darrin insisted that Samantha not use her magic.  The strong message that the producers were sending here, of course, is that men stifle women and prevent them from realizing their full potential.  Sneaky, those producers.  

Of course, at the time there were enough domestic sitcoms where the husband clearly didn’t want his wife to work and blatantly said so.  No metaphor was needed.  From I LOVE LUCY to THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW and every DONNA REED SHOW in between, you had that scenario play out.  (OZZIE & HARRIET took things one step farther — neither Ozzie nor Harriet worked.)  

But how about this as an alternate reason why Darrin wanted Sam to not use her magic?  Without that element there is no show.  

If Sam can use her magic at will, where’s the conflict?  Any problem can be solved with a wiggle of the nose.  Darrin has a good reason for keeping her identity a secret.  It’s the same reason all superheroes have.  If word got out she was a witch who could perform magic there would be a line two miles long to her front door of people asking for help.  Any semblance of a normal life would be obliterated.  

Some women say they wish she used her powers more.  I wished Superman flew more and there was less Clark Kent.  But that's the necessary dynamic of the show. 

Oh, and someone having to hold back behavior that is very tempting is a recipe for comedy.  Remember comedy?  

They give Sam a mother who hates Darrin for this, which also is a springboard for conflict and comedy.  There have been many husband vs. mother-in-law shows, but this has the twist that the mother-in-law can turn him into a toad.  

BEWITCHED began as a spin on a romantic comedy.  It became silly and cartoonish, but we’re talking the original conception (back when the producers were “plotting their social injustice storyline”).   But if you go back to the pilot, Samanta herself withheld the information that she was a witch until Darrin had fallen in love with her.  Why?  Well, this is another point THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM overlooked (because it goes against their theory): Samantha wanted Darrin to love her for who she was, not because she was a witch with magic powers.  So there was a part of Sam that was on board with not turning their Chevy into a Rolls Royce.  

Another point:  At the end of the day when did Samantha not do what she wanted to do?   And when did Darrin really put his foot down?  

The premise gave Elizabeth Montgomery a lot to play.  She had to harness her magic, find other solutions to problems (like real people do), and she was caught in the middle between her husband and her mother.  Keeping her identity secret was also a challenge.  Sam had to contend with Mrs. Kravitz, the nosy neighbor.  These dynamics all created laughs.  

Oh, and one other point that went by so quick I missed it, but THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM equated Endora’s wardrobe to the drag culture.  But that’s what you get when the so-called experts are TV critics or authors of fan books.  The real experts — William Asher, Sol Saks, Danny Arnold, Elizabeth Montgomery — are sadly no longer with us.  I bet they’d give you a very different explanation for how BEWITCHED came to be and what it set out to achieve.  

But what do you expect from a history of sitcoms that claims that WHO'S THE BOSS? was a groundbreaking show? 

Bonnie Franklin

A recent Friday question prompted this post -- one I’m delighted to share.

kitano0 asked:

I thought Bonnie Franklin was so cute during One Day at a Time. Ken, can you tell us more about her?

We used Bonnie on two episodes of ALMOST PERFECT, playing the mother of Kim’s (Nancy Travis) boyfriend (Kevin Kilner).  

She was an absolute delight.  I was also lucky enough to direct those episodes (okay, full disclosure, I assigned them to myself).  

But Bonnie was the consummate professional with a fun positive attitude.  Her character disliked Nancy’s character at the beginning and eventually comes to appreciate her.  So she had a real arc to play.   There’s a long scene where the two are stuck together in an elevator and with cameras rolling before a studio audience they both nailed it in one take.  

She was also a good sport because the actor hired to play her husband broke his contract and took a pilot after filming the first half of our two-parter.  Yes, he was an asshole and so were his agents.  (That’s a whole ‘other story.)   So to film his later scenes we had to shoot out of order on different days and Bonnie accommodated us (which was not in her contract).  

A few years later I put together a reading of a screenplay I had written.  I got Bonnie to graciously play one of the parts.  She was absolutely hilarious and it was a very different character than you’ve ever seen her play.  

Her character had the world's foulest mouth, and hearing those words come out of Bonnie Franklin was a riot.  One of my writer friends who attended said the highlight was seeing Bonnie Franklin swear.  

She left us too soon.  I loved Bonnie Franklin.

Mike & Mayim: the new hosts of JEOPARDY

So Mike Richards got the syndicated JEOPARDY hosting gig.  Mayim Bialik will host specials and primetime editions.  

After the yearlong derby, here were my favorites:

Mayim, David Faber (I didn’t even know who he was before), Joe Buck (made the game and the show really fun… and he’s my podcast guest this week.  Check it out), Robin Roberts, Anderson Cooper, Ken Jennings, Buzzy Cohen, and Mike Richards.  

I don’t know what the excitement was about for Aaron Rogers (exceeding low expectations is not the same as “good”), and LeVar Burton (not living up to high expectations despite the hype) .  

Bringing up the rear were Dr. Oz and Bill Whittaker.   

The rest were all just sort of in the middle.  Various shades of meh. 

It should be duly noted that although Mike Richards is the Executive Producer of JEOPARDY, this was not his call.  This was the head honchos of Sony.  So it’s not like he just chose himself.   In fact, it was his job to train the other hosts and ensure they did the best job they could.  Almost to a person they have praise for Richards in how supportive he was.  He could have sabotaged them, but he didn’t.  And in this town...

Mike Richards also did an excellent job during his two-week stint.

One of the requirements was that JEOPARDY be the person’s primary gig.  That let out any of the candidates who already had sweet TV gigs.  Was Anderson Cooper or Dr. Gupta going to leave CNN?  Was Robin Roberts going to leave ABC or Savannah Guthrie NBC?   Even Mayim Bialik.  Hosting part-time allows her to continue her acting career.  For the syndicated show she would have to give up acting — tough to do when she’s currently starring in a sitcom that just got picked up for a second season.  

And finally, this:  Whenever I was show runner and we had a part for an athlete or a comedian, our philosophy was always “hire the actor.”  Yes, he may not be as authentic an athlete or comedian but he knows the ropes.  He knows how to commit to a character, how to deliver the jokes, how to hit marks and satisfy other technical requirements.  We never went wrong “hiring the actor.”   I think this is what Sony did.  Mike Richards knows how to host game shows.  He doesn’t need tutoring.  Yes, he may be a somewhat safe choice, but here’s the thing:  Whoever they picked there would be people outraged because he/she wasn’t their favorite or they hated him/her.   That’s the problem with on-air auditions.  You see the options.   If Mike Richards had been named permanent host immediately following Alex Trebek’s death it would take the audience a little time to warm to him and then he would just be accepted as the new host.  Very few people would stop watching JEOPARDY.  The year-long derby created unreasonable expectations.  But at the end of the day, this is the guy who got the job, you can grumble for a few months, and eventually you’re just watching JEOPARDY and this happens to be the guy reading the clues.  

I wish Mike Richards the best.  He deserved it as much as anybody and I think he’ll do a great job.  Would anyone do it better?  What difference does it make? They don’t have the job and Mike does.  

And Mayim Bialik will shine as well.  For her I couldn't be happier. She'll have no problem pronouncing those Yiddish clues. 

Weekend Post

Got invited to a poker game last weekend. A friend plays in a regular game and needed an extra body. Poker is an ingenious game. It involves both skill and luck. If only I had either.

I hadn’t played poker in probably fifteen years so I pretty much had forgotten everything other than I always lose.

Still, I enjoyed myself.  The players were usually a group of comedy writers or improv chums so there were always more laughs than chips (especially in front of me). I likened it to a rewrite night where you didn’t have to address network notes.

This time the only person I knew going in was my friend. But it was a low stakes game so I figured what the hell? The guys all turned out to be fun, and they all came from other branches of the industry so I got to hear all-new horror stories. Nothing breaks the ice like getting fucked over in Hollywood.

I was worried that these dudes would hate me. Since I didn’t know what I was doing I would surely test their patience. And if I won they’d really despise me. Fortunately, they were tolerant, and fortunately they took all my money. So my fears were for naught.

I needed one of those little cheat sheets that told you that a royal flush beats a pair of threes. I thought, wouldn’t it be great to watch an episode of THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER and one of the finalists has the same cheat sheet next to his chips?

Remembering what beats what is hard enough for someone who needs a cheat sheet to retrieve his messages from voicemail, but we rotated dealing and the dealer got to select the game. Holy shit!

Seven card night baseball with the next card after a queen is a wild card

Hi-lo – 5 ½ or 21

Three chip buy-in pass your garbage

Seven card elevator (not to be confused with seven card crisscross)

Seven card Texas hold ‘em, 3’s are wild and 4's entitled you to buy another card if you wanted

On and on. They know you’re not a savvy player when it’s your turn and they say, “What are we playin’?” and you begin your answer with “What’s the one where…?” As the deal was going around the table I was getting progressively more anxious. What to do when it came to me?

Finally, I was up. I decided to just fake it. “Okay, five card double-draw hi-lo Taj Mahal, pig fives are wild, threes are sevens, sevens are tens, face cards are a half, and Jews get six cards instead of five.” Everyone laughed, but one guy who asked what Taj Mahal was.

The night moved along but required a lot of concentration. More than I could muster after a couple of hours. Again, it was like a rewrite night where you just zone out. “What page are we on again?” “Who’s asking who to stop doing what when?” “Has the food arrived yet?”

The food was another reason poker night is like rewrite night. Delivered pizza that you eat off of paper plates while standing . All we needed were Red Vines for me to feel really nostalgic.

You’d think as the night went along I’d get better. But actually, I got worse. I knew I was in trouble when I won a pot with nothing in my hand. Everyone complimented me on how well I bluffed. But I wasn’t bluffing. I actually thought I had a winning hand.

They should also have a cheat sheet for poker slang. Clubs were puppy paws. Pocket aces were American Airlines. Full houses are full boats. If you have a nine and a five that’s a Dolly Parton. But why do they call kings “cowboys?” When I think of cowboys I rarely imagine Richard Burton.

But it never fails.  The minute any six guys sit down to play poker they all start talking like they're in GUYS AND DOLLS.    The Pope and his cardinals get together and the Pope is dealing saying, "No help. crabs, Kojak, bitch in the bleachers.  Pony up gents."

All in all, it was a fun night, I made some new friends, now am aware of more industry shitheads, and I think after all this time I finally figured out how to win at poker. Have Jennifer Tilly play for me while I drive around for four hours picking up the pizza. 

Friday Questions

Mid August and here we go with some Friday Questions.  What’s yours?

B Alton leads off.

Just how are parents, especially of series leads, cast? What does the casting director "work with" in determining the look (and attitudes) of the parents so that they are believable (as parents) to the viewing audience? Thanks.

Usually it’s stunt casting. Hiring actors to play the parents of show leads gives you a chance to hire  “names”  that might bring in a higher rating.  So producers try to get Carol Burnett or someone of that ilk.  On ALMOST PERFECT we used Bonnie Franklin (ONE DAY AT A TIME) in that role.  

On CHEERS we got Glynis Johns to play Diane’s mom.  (She’s now 97, God bless her.)   And Shelley Long played a mom in MODERN FAMILY. 

Danny Thomas got a whole new family in THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW back in the early '60s. 

I directed shows where Brenda Vaccaro, Linda Lavin, and Dixie Carter played mom’s.  

But for my money, the best of all-time was Nancy Walker as Rhoda’s mom on RHODA.  

Brian Phillips asks:

Did you and David Isaacs ever write a Room 222 spec script?

No.  It was before our time, first of all.  And secondly, that wasn’t the kind of show we wanted to write.  We were more about hard comedy, preferably multi-camera at the time.  

We wrote a spec MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, a spec RHODA, and two pilot specs before we broke in.  And when we did break in, we were in the middle of plotting our next spec — HAPPY DAYS.

YEKIMI wonders:

I noticed this mostly on All In The Family but seems like a lot of early 70s shows seem to have done this....a close of of say, Archie or Edith's and the rest of the actor's faces, I mean to the point were you could count Archie's nose hairs, where the face filled the whole damn screen. I found it disconcerting at best. Any reason why they would have done it this way or was it a "Norman Lear" thing?

It’s a stylistic choice I hate.  It’s almost as if an extreme close up invades your personal space.

Trust me, the actors feel uncomfortable having the camera push in so close.  God forbid they have a pimple.  

I also believe extreme close ups kill comedy.  

When I direct or run a show my close ups featured full faces and and went down past the shoulders.  That’s pretty much the standard.

And finally, from John G:

The show Mom went through a pretty drastic evolution from season one to where the show ended. In fact, only one member of the original cast finished the run. Can you think of other successful shows that changed to such a degree?

BEWITCHED got by with a new Darren (although not as good).  Charles on MASH, Woody and Rebecca on CHEERS.    THE GOOD WIFE made some wholesale changes towards the end.  It was risky but the new cast pulled it off.   I’m sure there are many other examples.  You might even perchance have one yourself.  

How many DR. WHO’s have there been?  

And finally, when a whole new cast is hired around one lead character you can pretty much call that a Spin-off.  

Stay cool out there wherever you may be.  And get VACCINATED!

EP237: Joe Buck Part 2

This week Ken & lead Fox play-by-play man, Joe Buck discuss calling NFL football, the Super Bowl, World Series, and dealing with Social Media, which is not for the faint of heart. It’s a fun, informative, and candid conversation. You don’t have to be a sports fan to enjoy Joe Buck.

More podcasts at WAVE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/artist/wave-podcast-network/1437831426

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

Comedy is subjective

How subjective?  Here's an example: 

In the early ‘70s I was a Top 40 DJ.  I was Beaver Cleaver (I wanted a name that was memorable and amusing).  My whole act was entertaining and filling my show with comic content.  One liners, crazy voices, outrageous stunts, goofing with callers on the air, making fun of the records, etc. 

All too often my program directors would say “SHUT UP! Just play the damn music.  Stop trying to be funny.  YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!”  (For the record, I thought I was funny… at least sometimes.)  

Eventually I got out of radio and became a TV comedy writer.  Very wise move on my part, wouldn't you say?

Now flash-forward to 1977.  I’m the co-head writer of MASH (along with David Isaacs) and for fun, I’m on the air on TEN-Q, Los Angeles every Saturday night spinning the hits.  

Because I was now a respected TV comedy writer, I was getting huge love from the radio industry.  It helped certainly to be on a happening station in the number two market in the country, but I was finally getting my due.   Radio folk couldn’t stop talking about how fresh and original and funny I was.  

That was very nice to hear.  But here’s the thing:

I was doing the exact same crap I did when program directors told me I sucked.  And now they were taking credit for “discovering” me.

It’s all perception, and like I’ve always said, the only way I ever got respect in radio was to get out it.   Comedy is subjective.

TANGENT: This reminds me of a story Larry Gelbart told.  When he was still a teenager he did a screen-test for director, George Cukor.  He wasn’t very good and didn’t get the role.  At a party years later Larry told him that story and Cukor's response was: “Well, why didn’t you tell me who you were going to become?