Sunday, February 19, 2006

Diss 'n dat 4

If Stacey Snider moves over to Paramount from Universal expect her to bump Gail Berman out of her job. But don’t worry, Gail, Paramount appreciates your contribution and has a high level position waiting for you…at UPN.

It’s Spring Training and as usual there are fifteen players from foreign countries who have not yet reported because of visa problems. They’ve only had their reporting date for five friggin’ months! If someone was paying me $10 million dollars a year I’d show up on time even if it meant learning how to read a calendar.

The Bush Administration (i.e. “the gang that couldn’t shoot straight”) in their latest reprehensible move wants to examine millions of internet user’s search engine requests. Kudos to Google for fighting it. I’m especially worried, having recently searched for “bestiality Mother Teresa”.

Scales of Justice: They’ve once again legalized piano teachers in Burbank. Since 1998 it was illegal for them to give music lessons in their homes. Wouldn’t you love to see Vic Mackey and the strike team bust into a house and take someone down for teaching “Heart and Soul”?

A Samuel L. Jackson movie opened this weekend. That’s a big event. I think Sam has now been in more movies than Ron Jeremy. I wouldn’t be surprised if come this December he’s not one of the DREAMGIRLS.

Madame Tussaud’s wax museum has made a life size statue of Hilary Clinton. It has a better chance of being elected President than the actual Hilary.

Snowboarding is an Olympic sport but baseball isn’t? Maybe the sport was dropped because too many ballplayers had visa problems and didn’t show.

And somebody explain why Curling is an Olympic event? Did the ancient Greeks even have brooms back then? I guess the height of status in LA is having a housekeeper with a Gold Medal.

Luge is the human sperm competition.

I wonder if NBC would’ve paid its four trillion dollars and sacrificed having the NFL for years if it knew the Olympics would finish behind both SURVIVOR and DANCING WITH THE STARS?

But it does kick VERONICA MARS ass.

Michelle Kwan made a big deal to be a spokesman for Disney. Smart move to sign the deal now. In three weeks her only offer might be from THE SURREAL LIFE IV.

Forget the heartbreak of losing an Olympic Medal. Lisa Rinna was eliminated from DANCING WITH THE STARS. I blame the French.

Ever notice that the final score of the NBA All-Star Game is always West 185, East 176? It’s a joke. Just a Harlem Globetrotters inter-squad game.

Lisa Marie Presley is getting married for the fourth time. For the life of me, I still don’t understand why it didn’t work out with Michael Jackson or Nic Cage.

I hope satellite radio makes it. I know they’re hurting. Of course giving Howard Stern $500 million only to learn that people are offering free bootleg copies of his show on the internet hasn’t helped. (Pardon me for chuckling.) I have XM and swear by it. My only complaint: there’s a disc jockey on the 60’s channel, Terry “Motormouth” Young who is compelled to tell you if an artist has died while introducing his song. “Here’s Jackie Wilson. Had a bullet lodged in his heart for years, was in a prolonged coma and died. Let’s rock out with ‘Higher and Higher’!” “Sweet Soul Music by Arthur Conley who died of cancer!” “’Runaway’ by Del Shannon who had a bad reaction to Prozac and killed himself. But in 1961, boy was he cookin’!” It’s like I don’t feel old enough listening to and loving 40 year old music already? My daughter has renamed him Terry “Morbidmouth” Young.

Best reward challenge EVER on SURVIVOR was last Thursday. The “girls wrestling in the mud for the pillow”. Inspired!!! The more times I watch it the more I marvel. There’s not a bobsled competition in the world that can compete with that.

9 comments:

VP19 said...

Nancy Kwan made a big deal to be a spokesman for Disney. Smart move to sign the deal now. In three weeks her only offer might be from THE SURREAL LIFE IV.

I assume you are referring to Michelle Kwan, unless there's some major "Flower Drum Song" revival I know nothing about.

I love XM too, and recommend the "Frank's Place" channel to anyone who loves the "great American songbook." The old time radio channel also has a lot going for it.

Finally, Ken, there are reports in the New York Daily News that the Yankees want to follow the lead of the St. Louis Cardinals and Washington Redskins and purchase their own radio station next year, after their rights deal expires with WCBS. Should we fear the prospects of John Sterling, the Ted Baxter of play-by-play, 24/7?

Ken Levine said...

Good catch on Ms. Kwan. Have revised. Thanks.

XM 73 is good too but I wish there were less songs from the 40's and more from the 50's. There is only so much Buddy Clark one can take.

I'm not sure the Yankees could buy a station that would have the signal of a WCBS or WABC. I just wish another station would take up where CBS-FM left off.

littlehedgehog said...

I was really rooting for Lisa Rinna too.

Andres said...

But it does kick VERONICA MARS ass.

i hope you were talking about ratings and not actual content, because let me tell you, veronica mars could convince me to kick my OWN ass.

also, best XM radio stations: 7, 8, 27 (ESPECIALLY this one), 40

Stephen Gallagher said...

Terry Young sounds like my parents. They'd be sitting watching an old movie on TV and every time a new character walked in, you'd hear, "He's dead." "She's dead."

They also had a talent for finding places to eat that were so bad they'd make my mother throw up afterwards. They'd tell me all about one of them. Then they'd say, "And do you know, it was no better the next time we went."

g. said...

They've only had their reporting date for five friggin' months!
You obviously never had to deal with Customs/Immigration...
Lucky you! ;-)

What I found even more interesting was that not only was the initial request to Google even more broad than it is now, but AOL, Microsoft and Yahoo already complied with the governments demands and it does not seem clear to what extent.

I guess the height of status in LA is having a housekeeper with a Gold Medal.
Now I have to clean my display. :-D

it does kick VERONICA MARS ass.
I haven't seen this series yet, but I have heard people rant and rave about them on the one hand and on the other heard that as soon as someone utters the words "s/he has been convicted of..." the guy/girl in question *always* turns out to be Dr. Evil's evil twin and Veronica will be back in Daddy's arms in no-time. And all the characters are neatly segregated. So it would appeal to at least 35% of americans ;-)

Tom Quigley said...

I imagine the network brass at NBC Sports must have had a collective coronary when Michelle Kwan announced that she was pulling out of the Olympics... After all, since the ratings have been so bad, they were banking on the untold additional millions of viewers she'd attract... Those dimples, that smile, that cute butt.... God -- I just realized that I don't have any reason to watch the Olympics now either!... I suppose the first thing that NBC executives did (after the self-administered de-fib), was to ask the USOC if they would consider replacing Michelle Kwan with Michelle Wie... They don't give a damn whether or not she can skate, they just hope she looks good in Spandex while hitting monstrous 800-yard drives off the top of the ski jump....

Frank Strovel III said...

I wonder if NBC would’ve paid its four trillion dollars and sacrificed having the NFL for years if it knew the Olympics would finish behind both SURVIVOR and DANCING WITH THE STARS?

NBC's Olympics coverage is losing the TV ratings race in the 18-49 demo to American Idol but its website is outdrawing Idol's website by a 4-to-1 margin.

I think we'll be seeing bigger changes in the way we view the Olympics come 2008 and 2010.

Julie Goes To Hollywood said...

Has anyone noticed how much Lisa Rinna looks like Leona Helmsley?