So it’s the middle of the week and you feel like seeing a movie. Let’s grab the paper and see what you’ve got.
MR. BROOKS – a confusing mess of a serial killer movie starring Kevin Costner. Face it, his range is he can play both a major league ballplayer and a minor league ballplayer.
HOSTEL, PART II – Women being brutally tortured. If this is what passes for entertainment these days we’re in big trouble. Even the He-Man Women Haters Club from the Young Rascals would find this movie vile.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN III – Reviewers and audiences thought Part II was a train wreck with boats. And those who’ve seen Part III are nostalgic for Part II. Please, Disney Corporation, don’t make the movie version of IT’S A SMALL WORLD.
SPIDERMAN 3 -- Long, stupid, and not a moment you haven’t seen four times and were bored by in the first two. Even Imax doesn't help. Unless the next super villain is Dick Cheney I've seen my last SPIDERMAN.
SHREK THE THIRD – Another franchise movie, going to the well one more time and proving that is IS easy to be green. You’ve probably seen it already…whether you’ve been to the theater or not.
SURF’S UP – Another Hollywood attempt to jam as many successful elements together to make a formula boxoffice hit. Penguins and animation. If HOSTEL II does big business next summer you will be seeing cartoons penguins being mutilated. With a Randy Newman score.
KNOCKED UP – You went the first weekend. A two-hour-plus comedy is not something you want to sit through again.
28-WEEKS LATER – The latest “gorno” to tank at the box office. Could be a victim of genre "overkill". I dunno, I haven't seen it, but audiences are staying away in droves. That's usually a sign.
OCEANS THIRTEEN – Like eating recycled food.
Before you throw down the paper and decide to clean fish instead, might I make a suggestion? If it’s playing in your area go see ONCE.
If I tell you the premise you’ll go “Huh? So? That’s it?” A young street musician in Dublin meets a girl who is also a musician and together they put together a recording session so he’ll have some demos. But within that slight scenario is packed more charm, humor, heart, romance, and great music than ten big Hollywood movies put together. I bet I’m going to get a bunch of comments echoing my enthusiasm (along with four saying I’m an idiot for not appreciating HOSTEL II).
Go see this little art house sleeper. For ONCE I can make a recommendation.
And if they ever do a sequel, I've got the title -- TWICE.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
By Ken Levine at 10:57 AM