Sunday, February 07, 2010

SUPERBOWL XXLVIIXXLVVI

Has there been a more satisfying Super Bowl ever! What a great night for the city of New Orleans! 31-17 the final over the Colts. The celebration in the French Quarter should start winding down in June. Wish I were there to vomit in the streets with the rest of you.

Some random thoughts on the game and the telecast.

I have to say I’m pleased for many reasons. I still hate the Colts for the chicken-shit way they left Baltimore – sneaking out of town under the cover of darkness. You may know them as the Indianapolis Colts. To me they’re the Oz Lions.

Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest food consumption day in the U.S. Tied for first – every Jewish holiday.

We Americans consume 4 million pounds of fat from potato chips alone. The third leading killer of American males: Doritos.

Jim Nantz did a fine job but I still think Dick Enberg should call the Super Bowl. Jim Nantz should join of the cast of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. He was hilarious Monday night.

CBS has taken a lot of heat for allowing an anti-abortion commercial and refusing a pro-Gay spot. Here’s how they could have solved that problem. Do the same anti-abortion ad but instead of featuring Tim Tebow and his mom, just use Richard Simmons and his mom. That way everyone will be happy.

Were there any groups protesting that the game was held in Sun Life Stadium. Where were the Moon Life zealots?

Since CBS allowed the ad, why not go all the way and include it in the billboard. “The 1st quarter is brought to you by Cars.com, E-Trade, and outlaw abortions.”

My favorite commercial was the Snickers ad featuring Betty White and Abe Vigoda playing football and getting clotheslined. My second favorite: I had no second favorite.

Analyst Phil Simms is Al Gore in a coma.

Don’t you hate it when you buy two squares for the first quarter pool and get the numbers 2 and 5?

It’s time to do away with the Roman Numerals already. We’re at the point where only Spartacus can figure them out.

But if the NFL insists on the practice then I say all players’ numbers on the back of their jerseys should be in Roman Numerals too.

Oh please! Peyton Manning was misty over Queen Latifa singing America the Beautiful. Is he hoping to become Sarah Palin’s running mate?

Carrie Underwood sang the National Anthem wearing one of Elvis’ old jumpsuits. She was terrific until that last note and then yeow!!!

I hate it when the weather’s great. Much more fun to see all those CEO’s and other bailout beneficiaries getting drenched in their 50 yard line seats.

The Super Bowl is the one program where people fast forward through the show to get to the commercials.

New Orleans went to their favorite weapon to put the game away – a turnover. They’ve been scoring big points doing that all year.

Quick: name the two teams in last year’s Super Bowl?

NO MORE TALKING BABIES!!!! EVER!!!!!!

In every Super Bowl party there’s always one insufferable idiot who comments after every commercial. That would be me.

How fucked up is NBC when even Jay Leno is doing promos for David Letterman?

The Who looked ancient. I thought I was watching the Abe Vigoda commercial again.

I imagine for anyone under 60 they were the “Why?”

At this rate Little Anthony & the Imperials will be performing at next year’s Super Bowl.

Quarterback Drew Brees deserves a lot of kudos but let’s not forget Garrett Hartley and his three lonnnnng field goals, and the interception/touchdown by Tracy Porter.

I’m tired of the Clydesdales. Used to love ‘em but enough! I don’t need my heart to be tugged. I have Peyton Manning for that.

Since Pete Townsend of the Who is a registered sex offender (he was arrested in 2003 in a pedophilia sting in the UK), child abuse organizers flooded the area around the stadium with warning fliers and postcards. The fliers should have warned everybody about Carrie Underwood’s final note.

Wow! The Saints started the second half with an on-side kick. And pulled it off. The only thing that would have been more surprising is if one of the Bud Lite commercials had been funny.

A lot of anger towards girlfriends in this year’s commercials. Those bitches won’t let us buy mobile TV’s or drive Dodge Chargers!

Excitementwise, you can’t ask for much more than going into the 4th quarter with a one point difference.

The Saints’ 4th quarter challenge resulted in a reversed call and two points. See that baseball? It’s more important to get the call right than stubbornly stick to tradition.

It would have been nice had the anti-abortion spot gone right up against the Go-Daddy commercial, don't you think?

Again, congratulations to the city and citizens of New Orleans (who I’m sure are completely plastered). And what a perfect metaphor for Katrina – the Saints were down 10-0 and came back to win it all. Come on. Even you Colt fans have to admit it’s a wonderful story. Okay, well… maybe not.

Thanks to ESPN and TMZ for the photos.

43 comments :

rob! said...

Peyton Manning was misty over Queen Latifa singing America the Beautiful. Is he hoping to become Sarah Palin’s running mate?

Did he have all the plays written down on his hand?

Howard Hoffman said...

Sorry, Carrie. You're not going to Hollywood. Kinda pitchy, dawg.

GREAT game. But when did Stan Freberg replace Roger Daltrey?

Michael said...

"It’s time to do away with the Roman Numerals already. We’re at the point where only Spartacus can figure them out." LOL.

Thanks for the insightful write up, Ken.

And glad we agree about that Carrie Underwood performance. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

The giant circular stage for The Who's halftime performance was probably the exact distance required by court order between Pete Townshend and the nearest child.

Wallis Lane said...

After that bleak halftime show, The Who should consider renaming themselves The Why.

YEKIMI said...

I'm just surprised one of the members of The Who didn't have a stroke or heart attack onstage.

rexxooxx said...

Best SB halftime ever.. Prince doing Purple Rain IN THE FREAKIN RAIN!! Worst... Paul McCartney lipsinking to some of his most forgetable tunes. Music aside (and yes, Carrie was waaaayyy weak) the game was awesome. Drew's krew put a giant exclamation mark on the Big Easy's restoration efforts and God knows they still need all the help they can get. Peyton's Colts have been there and will probably be there again (they are just that good, like Brady's Pats) but this one brought 43 years of frustration to an end for the Saints and their enduring fans.

JW said...

Last year's Super Bowl? Easy. Steelers beat the Cardinals.

WV: restogen. I think that's something that Roger Daltrey takes.

Paul said...

I'm so tired of people linking Katrina with the Saints. IT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO. It's like saying the Jets deserved to advance because of 9/11.

Nat G said...

But if they do away with the roman numerals, how are we supposed to celebrate in 2016 when they would've reached Super Bowl L? I mean, can you imagine it? L!

Grant said...

If they change the uniforms to roman numerals, will Chad Vee-eye-eye-eye Vee have to pay Reebok another five million?

esme said...

Thank you for mentioning the way the Colts left Baltimore. They should have to forfeit every game to the Ravens for that move, and boy would it have made this year's Super Bowl more exciting for me if they had!

D. McEwan said...

Damn! I forgot to watch thje Superbowl, for the XXLVIIXXLVVIth consecutive time. Who was playing? The Who played football? Were The Who on first? What was on second? I don't know...

Third base!

(Is "third base" football?)

Rose Vanden Eynden said...

I'm glad someone else thinks Phil Simms sucks. He calls every flipping Bengals game every year, and I can't stand him!

Whew. I feel better now. Thanks for letting me vent, Ken.

Simon H. said...

As an Indianapolis native, I would like to share some thoughts.

1) Congratulations to the Saints. You were clearly the better team Sunday, and you and your wonderful city deserve it. I'm disappointed for the Colts, but still appreciative of the great year they had, even if they fell one game short. Most of the Facebook updates I saw from Hoosiers last night were nearly uniformally positive about what it means for New Orleans. Except for one that called them "a bunch of west of the Mississippi River Motherless Fuckers", which is clearly wrong. New Orleans is actually east of the Mississippi.

2) It's been 26 years since the infamous Mayflower moving trucks left Baltimore for here, can we just give the whole thing a rest?Yes Robert Irsay was a horrible owner that screwed over Baltimore and drank himself to death(and having lived here in the Hoosier State probably out of sheer boredom), but his son Jim has been nothing but a class act running a class organization since the late 90s. The People of Baltimore lost he right to complain after doing the exact same thing to Cleveland a decade later. Both cities have won Super Bowls, and Cleveland got the shaft. In other words, it all worked out for everyone the way it should have.

Tom Quigley said...

Ken said...

"The Who looked ancient. I thought I was watching the Abe Vigoda commercial again."...

Actually, we WERE watching a commercial... If anyone noticed, The Who played the theme songs from all three CSI shows, which of course are on CBS -- and which is probably why they got the gig in the first place...

LouOCNY said...

Ten days until pitchers and catchers.........

Alan Coil said...

Every time I see that talking babies commercial, I want to get my shotgun out and go hunting them alien creatures. It's just unnatural for human eyes to bulge like that. They must have pineal tumors.

The Milner Coupe said...

Hey, I'm no Who fan, but they didn't suck. And the light show was great. Much better than a bunch of phony paid fans like they usually do at Super Bowls.

The baby commercials are hilarious.

I agree, Phil Simms has to go. He doesn't do color, he judges every play as if his entire playing career wasn't a big yawn.

Great game. Best in years. Aloha

Mike McCann said...

>>The Who looked ancient. I thought I was watching the Abe Vigoda commercial again.

And Abe Vigoda signs better nowadays than Roger Daltrey.

>>At this rate Little Anthony & the Imperials will be performing at next year’s Super Bowl.

GUARANTEED, Little Anthony and the Imperials sing better than Roger Daltrey.

Didn't you get the sense watching Daltrey that he felt like this was "one more corporate gig" that he was just doing for a quick buck?

Roger Owen Green said...

Betty White! Abe Vigoda! Got THAT right. I even know what the product was. And yeah, the babies irritate, big time.

Yeah, Carrie - I've heard you sing a bit better. And I love The Who, but not that performance, except Won't Get Fooled Again. The segues were peculiar and harmonies dicey.

Jim, Cheers Fan said...

My favorite commercial was the Snickers ad featuring Betty White and Abe Vigoda playing football and getting clotheslined. My second favorite: I had no second favorite.
No love for Oprah's Dave and Jay Reunion Show?

WV: sedium- the feeling of boredom one has a in a run down, slightly dangerous bar

droszel said...

In response to this post, "2) It's been 26 years since the infamous Mayflower moving trucks left Baltimore for here, can we just give the whole thing a rest?Yes Robert Irsay was a horrible owner that screwed over Baltimore and drank himself to death(and having lived here in the Hoosier State probably out of sheer boredom), but his son Jim has been nothing but a class act running a class organization since the late 90s. The People of Baltimore lost he right to complain after doing the exact same thing to Cleveland a decade later. Both cities have won Super Bowls, and Cleveland got the shaft. In other words, it all worked out for everyone the way it should have."

I have to say I'm one of those Baltimore Colt fans who still holds a grudge. Less so, though, after reading that post.

Richard J. Marcej said...

The Who looked ancient. I thought I was watching the Abe Vigoda commercial again.

I imagine for anyone under 60 they were the “Why?”


In the past few days I've been hearing radio hosts complaining and reading online & newspaper writers bitching about The Who appearing on the halftime show. And much like your comment, they're bringing up their validity to most of America.

Are you kidding?

I think it's safe to say that over 99% of the viewing audience recognizes The Who's music over, let's say, most of last week's Grammy winners.

And why's that?

CSI!

When you have constant airings weekly, daily, etc... of all the CSI shows blaring out snippets of Who songs, they were a natural choice to play last night on the CBS Super Bowl Show.

Unknown said...

Oh so it's natural to have people on stage who's songs are good enough for 30 second intro sequences?

Great.

I bet you could also give a valid argument why Charlie Sheen should've been on stage playing some of his jingles on a piano.

tb said...

Had no idea Abe Vigoda was still around! Wow. And the sound mix was awful at first for the Who, but nowadays that's a GOOD thing - it means they're ACTUALLY PLAYING and not lip-synching! Same with Carrie! I want real performances-no matter how bad - not fake karaoke

benson said...

I think the Letterman promo was the best, and the Betty White spot the funniest.

And I don't know what bothers me about the Who. I guess the in-your-face reminder that we got old, and rock and roll was and is all about youth. Talkin' bout my generation.

And it would be nice to have someone perform at halftime who may've had a hit in the last twenty years, but, almost all those songs are such disposal trash. (there's a reason we don't have Celine Dion and or Whitney Houston up there, plus the last time they had someone more current up there, it was nipple time)

carol said...

Years ago I saw a birthday card, that had a cartoon drawing of a Rock Star Who Looks Suspiciously Like Roger Daltry, and the front read, 'Remember that song, "I hope I die before I get old"?'

And on the inside it said, 'Well, you didn't'.

noncanadianguy said...

On a sadder note, Ken, it looks like the game has dethroned your "M*A*S*H" finale as the most-watched program in American TV history:

http://tvbythenumbers.com/2010/02/08/super-bowl-xliv-becomes-most-watched-program-of-all-time/41392

john brown said...

My 18 year old son received a text message from a friend of his who was at the game last night.

During the Who's performance, his friend sent the first text of the night.

He said, "This show is intense".

High praise from a senior in high school.

gwangung said...

And it would be nice to have someone perform at halftime who may've had a hit in the last twenty years, but, almost all those songs are such disposal trash. (there's a reason we don't have Celine Dion and or Whitney Houston up there,

Whitney's getting long in the tooth, herself. I suppose when she hits menopause, she'll be OK for the NFL.

Howard Hoffman said...

"Oh so it's natural to have people on stage who's songs are good enough for 30 second intro sequences?"

Um...no...

It's natural to have an iconic rock band who received eighteen gold records, a dozen platinum albums and five multi-platinum albums (along with one of the most seminal works in rock history, "Tommy").

But let's not pick nits.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

Oh so it's natural to have people on stage who's songs are good enough for 30 second intro sequences?

You're not very cognizant of music history, are you?

And don't use the excuse of sarcasm. It won't work.

WV: manctrip - Either a man alone or with friends traveling to Las Vegas, New Mexico instead of Las Vegas, Nevada. Actually, that would be a "manftrip."

Buttermilk Sky said...

I'd rather watch The Who than that stupid phone commercial with Clapton. How many times can you sell out before you have nothing left?

As a Dodger announcer, Ken, you should know there are codgers in Brooklyn who still hate Walter O'Malley's guts. So you go right ahead and be mad at the Colts.

dkfwriting said...

You made one factual error. There's not a lot of eating on Yom Kippur.

Mike Barer said...

There is at the Break-fast.

Scott in H.C. said...

You got it right about Dick Enberg - my favorite sports announcer not named Vin Scully.

I think I may drive down to San Diego when the Dodgers are in town and stay in my hotel room instead of going to the stadium just to be able to hear and watch him call baseball games again.

Anonymous said...

Baltimore did the same thing to Cleveland that Indy did?

When the Colts left, the NFL turned its back on Baltimore. When the Browns left Cleveland the NFL GUARANTEED them a new team, even helped build a new stadium.

Baltimore had the best all-around package to present at two expansion meetings after the Colts left. Twice they were ignored. Only then, when we realized that the league was not going to allow us to get a new team the "right" way did we go a different route.

Modell had his reasons for leaving - he had asked Cleveland to help him build a new stadium and was denied. Cleveland then helped build Jacob's Field (baseball), the Gund Arena (basketball)and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

When he left Cleveland Modell left behind the Name, the Colors and the History. A kid growing up in Cleveland today can watch the same team his grandfather cheered for. Baltimore kids can't.


Patrick in Baltimore

Zack Bennett said...

Ken, did it make you sad to hear that the M*A*S*H finale's ratings had finally been eclipsed? Did you ever think it would happen?

Mike said...

Pete Townsend of the Who is a registered sex offender

Townshend's name was removed from the Sex Offenders Register in 2008, and his criminal record deleted.
Townshend was cautioned but never charged with an offence.
Our truth needs protection from the malicious lying of Protect Our Children.

Kate said...

Mike is right -- Townsend *isn't* a registered sex offender. Townsend explained his visits to child pornography websites as research for an essay he published, decrying the easy availability of child pornography. I also seem to remember Townsend admitting at the time that he had been exploited sexually as a child, and that too fueled his investigation. (Can I be making this up? I don't see any sign of it on the internet, but that's not necessarily proof that it didn't happen.)

If that's true, it makes the actions of Protect Our Children all the worse -- they disregard the truth AND shame the former victim of abuse. Apparently it's not worth protecting someone once they're over 18.... or 58.

Mike Bell said...

Kate - Your info on Pete T. is correct.

Alan said...

Kate has the facts right, and I'm dismayed that you let the lie live on in your post. Many blogs "strike out" misstatements of fact once they're corrected. Since most readers don't pore over the comments, the smear on Townshend's name will just continue to echo, and I'm sure you'd hate to be part of that. Please consider amending the post to include a strike-out and correction.