Sunday, October 03, 2010

The Duke F*CK list

Hey there aspiring writers, Karen F. Owen has found a new way to get an agent! And here’s the good news – you don’t have to write a spec script! Why slave for months over that pesky spec 30 ROCK or kill yourself over that original pilot? Ugh!! That’s the old way. That’s for saps! You want the William Morris Agency to come after you? It’s simple! Just fuck a bunch of guys and critique them. What could be easier?

Karen F. Owen was a student at Duke University. For four years she went to the local bar and slept with just about everyone in the athletic department except the Volleyball equipment manager. Sometimes in stairwells, sometimes she was so drunk she didn’t remember, sometimes two teammates in one night. Now you know what the F. stands for.

For grins and giggles she wrote out a thesis detailing her conquests in intimate and revealing detail, naming names and sizing sizes. She sent this tome to a few close friends and big surprise, it wound up on the internet and went viral in less time than that it took Subject #12 to complete.

To be honest, it’s quite entertaining in a “boy, this sure isn’t the way it was for me in college” way. And as a writer, she does a pretty fair job of describing the blowjobs she gave. Those passages did hold my interest.

The merit of writing this unauthorized thesis is certainly up for debate. On the one hand it’s an egregious invasion of privacy. On the other, this has to be great for Duke recruiting.

But now the Morris office is coming after her and already there are book and movie offers on the table. If this had come out a month ago Karen would probably be one of the AMERICAN IDOL judges today.

So put down that spec HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Start writing that HOW I FUCKED YOUR FRIENDS. Representation and riches can be yours!

It does my heart good to be able to help young writers.

16 comments:

Meredith said...

I love nothing more than seeing Duke portrayed this way...again.

XO,
Your Friendly Neighborhood UNC Alum

Anonymous said...

Fairly entertaining for a few pages, but not the least bit believable. It's a load of hooey, but erotically semi-entertaining hooey.

lucifervandross said...

Wasn't a book just like that, written by a 15 year old of all things, a subplot of Kevin Smith's "Mallrats"?

amyp3 said...

And her parents couldn't be prouder.

I recently resolved to get my twitter account made into a TV show. Now I see I can combine these two recent crappy ways that people broke in.

I'm changing my tweets to: !^*&ing I Did at College.

I definitely can fit that into 140 characters.

Tim W. said...

This reminded me of watching the Social Network last night. Very good movie, but you know you've reached a certain point in your life when, instead of enjoying watching the hedonism happening on the Harvard campus, I kept thinking about my daughters going off to university and how much I now dread that. They're still at least 10 years away, but when you see the pretty girls on screen not as sex objects, but as someone's daughter, you're now officially old.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Too bad she didn't attend Oral Roberts.

Kaleberg said...

Two MIT women did something like this, publishing A Guide to Sex with MIT Men in the school "underground" paper Thursday. Basically, they reviewed the guys, and a lot of them didn't sound promising. There was a bit of a scandal, since they named names, but the general reaction was of surprise that anyone at MIT had time for sex, reviewed or unreviewed. No one got an agent out of the deal as far as I can remember.

Doug, About 20 Miles from Duke University said...

Wonder if she graduated Summa Cum Louder?

Mac said...

The struggling artist in me deplores how this woman has been financially rewarded, despite her obvious lack of creative integrity.
The rest of me wishes I'd been in the athletics department of Dukes University, and could've met this chick in a bar.

Debby G. said...

Her "thesis" was smutty, degrading, and appalling. And I read every word of it.

Anonymous said...

Soft porn author?

Lou H. said...

I was at MIT when Roxanne Ritchie and her friend published the sex reviews. Far from getting a publishing contract, Ritchie and the newspaper's staff were rather reviled on campus for a few months, and MIT had a PR problem on its hands once the story made it into national news magazines. Ritchie's name lived on in ignominy for the entire time I was there.

The upcoming movie MEGAMIND has a character with that name. Don't studios do Lexis or at least Google searches to see whether a name has some kind of history? I remember reading in Making of Star Trek that legal looked at every full name that they wanted to use in the show.

D. McEwan said...

Guys My Mom F#*&ed, with Betty White instead of William Shatner.

Dylan said...

You should really watch the movie this show is based on. The movie is pretty much everything you want the show to be. It's sad how badly they manged to f*ck things up. It's also better acted and they actually filmed it India, which helps make it look you know like they are actually in India.

Michael Zand said...

Or maybe an entirely new and original sitcom titled: "How We Fucked Your Mother"

DirkJohanson said...

Owen is a model for me, except I'm trying to get an agent by doing a lot of hookers and writing about it.

OK, I actually write about a lot more than doing hookers, but somehow the hookers almost always tie in!

Check out my blog, "The Balls Monologues", the Guyinism website.