Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Leo DiCaprio called me!

I was excited. Sure, it was a recording but it was really him! He was plugging some candidate. But still. Leo DiCaprio! I was supporting the other guy but now that I know that Leo DiCaprio, an Oscar nominee for Godsakes, is supporting his opponent I have to switch my vote. How can I not? You saw Leo in INCEPTION. He’s really SMART! Plus, who studies the issues more diligently than Hollywood actors?

Later I got a call from the great Martin Sheen! Wow! He also had a candidate recommendation for me. And remember, Martin Sheen was the president once. You saw WEST WING. He was such a knowledgeable and compassionate leader. I could study the candidates myself, read their positions, watch their debates, analyze their records but I’m just a layman. Martin Sheen is an actor. And not just an actor. A father. One just has to look at how well his sons turned out to be supremely impressed.

Susan Sarandon has called twice asking me to vote yes on legalizing marijuana.  She's an Oscar winner so not only am I going to vote yes, I'm going to get some marijuana!
 
And then there’s Sally Field. Mama Gump herself called! I’ve seen her quite often at the gym and she’s never said a word to me in five years. I had no idea me and Sal were this close.

These stars are providing a great public service – giving of their recorded time to set us straight on the complicated issues of the day. And it’s scary out there. You’ve seen the commercials. It seems every candidate really wants higher taxes, has no experience and will destroy our way of life, is a serious criminal, is a puppet to corporate greed, is in bed with the terrorists, and every proposition will bankrupt us, cost us our jobs, and is really supported by tobacco growers and the oil industry.

In the past we’ve voted, life has moved on, we’ve been pleased or displeased with the results and have voted accordingly next time. But this time, if we make even one bad decision then it’s Armageddon. So it’s clear. The stakes are waaaay too high to not listen to actors, especially ones who can open a movie.

I hope you’ll get out and vote today. But of course, who am I?

The Flying Nun hopes you’ll get out and vote.

25 comments:

Vermonter17032 said...

Hey, the celebrities who agree with my politics are geniuses and people should DEFINITELY listen to them. The ones that disagree with me are utter morons and should be mocked at every opportunity!

steve macdonald said...

They took Ronald Reagan seriously, fer crissakes. Sally Field should be AT LEAST as credible.

brian t said...

What the heck is going out there in La-La Land? In the Senate race you have a choice between a candidate with no business experience and a candidate with experience destroying businesses. Perhaps Guvmnt is the safest place for these people, they can't do much damage there. Right?

Josh Heggen said...

Ken, you failed to answer the real, burning question! Did any of them offer you a seat on their private plane?

;)

Happy Election Day!

iain said...

I'll trade you Leo for Al Sharpton, who's called us every night for a week.

Seriously, whoever decided on this particular robo-call, the Rev. Al doesn't play well with white-folk, even lib-rul elitist white-folk like my wife & me.

Eduardo Jencarelli said...

Regarding the private planes comment, I should mention Leo DiCaprio flies commercial airliners like everyone else out of concern for the enviroment.

Matt Patton said...

Here in Florida, every Democrat running for office is alleged to be a mindless pawn in Nancy Pelosi's Evil Plan to Take Over The World. Since you live in her home state of California, is she being built up as the Boogiewoman to end all Boogiewoman out there as well?

AlaskaRay said...

I would never listen to an "actor". However, I would vote the way a writer suggests. When can I expect your call?

Ray

WV: sublepth, as in I sublepth my apartment last month before I lepth from the window.

Ben said...

Ken, that's nothing. I got a personal phone call from Chuck Yob.

I know, can you believe it? The honest-to-goodness Chuck Yob, former midwest regional vice-chairman for the RNC. Ooh!

But here's the best thing: it was an actual phone call and not a recording. It was on my machine when I got home, but I could tell it hadn't been a recording, as he stumbled over a couple of lines and you could hear things going on in the background. Plus, his actual home phone number showed up on my caller ID.

Definitely the strangest political phone call I've ever received...

thomas tucker said...

Yeah, Leo flies commerical planes just like everyone else. Everyone else except Nancy Pelosi, Bareny Frank and Al Gore, that is.

Devlin Thompson said...

You're lucky... all I got was Pat Boone. Which, by comparison, is a real Charlie Brown "I got a rock" kind of moment. He was pimping for crazy old Paul Broun, and he cited his credentials thusly: "Hi, friends! This is Pat Boone... (chuckle) that's right, the old "Love Letters In the Sand" boy." And that song is one of his worst! If he'd cited "Moody River", I might have been willing to hear him out. That one's okay, except that Pat is singing it.

Mac said...

That's excellent. It reminds me of the quote from 'Team America' that goes (something like) "If only people would pay more attention to Hollywood actors, the world would be a better place."

SeattleDan said...

The President called me!
BTW, I think Sally avoids you because she went to Birmingham High, and, well, you went to Taft. I'm sure that's it.

Anonymous said...

I rec'd a real live phone call (not recorded) from someone who identified themselves as Newt Gingrich's first cousin. Before he went a word further, I had to ask, "Newt G's first cousin?" Yes, he said.

I politely thanked him and hung up immediately, as I do all political calls, but I said to myself, "Wow, NG's first cousin!". What a world we live in.

Tom Quigley said...

You lucky people! All I've ever received were calls from Hillary Clinton, trying to track down her husband....

VP81955 said...

I wonder if Melissa Joan Hart is doing robocalls in the Delaware election, either for (or against) the "witch"...

P.S. Pat Boone did a nice cover of Ivory Joe Hunter's "I Almost Lost My Mind." He almost sounds soulful.

Bob Summers said...

The past few electioin cycles in Oklahoma, the great football coach Barry Switzer has done robocalls. When people see his endorsement, they go running to vote for that candidate. However, I think that has come to an end this year. People just aren't ready to elect an ugly woman to the governor's office, no matter her qualifications.

BTW, what do you suggest doing in Anaheim or LA for vacation?

tb said...

Danny Glover called me, urging me to vote yes for marijuana legalization. Ok Dano, no sweat

Anonymous said...

"I closed my eyes, I held my nose....then I voted (love potion #9"

D. McEwan said...

Leo is so active politically! When he called me back on Sunday, it was to ask me to vote "No" on Prop 23, which I was doing already, so he wasted a robo-dime there.

I didn't hear what Danny Glover called about, as I hung up on him four words in, as he called me at 9:30 AM on a Sunday when anyone with any brains is asleep. (And the others are in churches.)

They've forgotten the first rule of campaigning: Don't piss off the voter.

Greg Ehrbar said...

June Allyson left us far too soon. In this new technical age, she could have called us at home to chat about Depends.

barnez28 said...

I think it's funny celebrities try to get there voice into politics, even though most don't know that much about it in the first place, haha. I won't mind a celebrity calling me about what party to vote for, as long as it's not Matt Damon or Ben Affleck. I just don't know how much they know or really care about politics and I always wonder how much money that party paid them to represent them.

Brian said...

Too bad Opie and Fonz and Andy didn't do a comercial again! But seriously, I voted for my dry cleaner for Congress. He only lost 54% to 46%

Matt Patton said...

Instead of annoying everybody by making robo-calls, how about a few of these liberal celebrities go out and run for office? You may or may not like Al Franken's politics (I do--my heart has been bleeding since birth), but you can't deny that it took a fair amount of guts to put himself out there against the nasty Republican machine in Minnesota--and win. The same for Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger (who, unlike Reagan, was a REAL movie star), George Murphy. Heck, back in the 1940's, Albert Dekker, hardly a movie star but certainly a respected character actor, took time out from his acting career to become a State Assemblyman in California, and Melvin Douglas slowed down his acting career to help his wife, Helen, to achieve her political ambitions. Of course, that was the era when Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda put their acting careers on hold to join the service and fight in WW II (while movie he-man John Wayne went God knows how many rounds with the draft board to avoid service). Maybe things were just different then.

David K. M. Klaus said...

Speaking of celebrities who did military service, I wanted to mention the little-known fact that Oliver Stone won the Bronze Star for heroism during the Vietnam War.

A lot of people have a lot of criticism for Mr. Stone, but nobody can say he didn't do his duty for his country. He deserves respect for that alone.