Monday, November 22, 2010

Winter Movie Preview -- Part One

As we head into the holiday season, here's my annual Winter Movie Preview.  To be fair, I have not personally seen all of these.  Actually, I haven't seen any of them.  But that never stops me from having an opinion.  

THE TOURIST – Angelina Jolie almost ruins a guy’s life. The role she was born to play.

BURLESQUE – Cher, who now has become Jack Lord with hair extensions, and Christina Aguilera team for a movie musical. Sounds like CABARET without Nazis.

COUNTRY STRONG – Gwyneth Paltrow as a country-western singer. Doing her big hit, “I’ll love you tomorrow if you cleanse tonight”.

BLUE VALENTINE – Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling in a gut-wreching drama about a failing marriage. Gwyneth Paltrow recommends salads and smoothies but that won’t save it.

TRON: LEGACY – Imagine the original with a better script and effects. Now that Jeff Bridges has his Oscar, he’s willing to go back and make fun stuff.

BLACK SWAN – Natalie Portman in the ballet. This is why every Jewish mother enrolls their daughters into dance class whether they like it or not.

THE KING’S SPEECH – Getting amazing buzz. Colin Firth as stuttering King George VI. “Abadee, abadee, abadee, th-th-th-that’s an Oscar, folks!”

THE FIGHTER – Every actor who wants to be De Niro has to do his boxing picture. This is Mark Wahlberg’s.

ALL GOOD THINGS – Ryan Gosling suspected of killing his wife. Might be the sequel to BLUE VALENTINE.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS – PART 1 – Just cause the book was 700 pages doesn’t mean the title has to be.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER – And that’s the short version. Original title: THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER AND THE DAWN OF THE SON OF THE BRIDE OF THE RETURN OF THE REVENGE OF THE TERROR OF THE ATTACK OF THE EVIL, MUTANT, HELLBOUND, FLESH-EATING SUBHUMANOID ZOMBIFIED LIVING DEAD, PART 3

The Winter Movie Preview continues tomorrow...

11 comments:

Jon J said...

Wonder who first came up with the name "country-western" music. You don't see the "Country-Western Music Awards" or the "Country-Western Music Association" do you?

What if everyone simply called it "Country Music"...as they should?

Baylink said...

'Country' and 'Western' are related, but separate genres of music; "old country" (pre about 1985 or so; think "Before Garth") had much more in common than "new country" (think "Shania and Taylor") does.

lucifervandross said...

The Black Swan is good, but i watched 127 Hours the night before and actually found scenes in the Black Swan MORE disturbing.

People I know that have already saw Blue Valentine recommended taking your antidepressants before so you'll make it out alive.

Tron is hopefully going to be awesome.

Jen said...

The film's title is actually COUNTRY STRONG.

Corinne said...

Friday Question:

Over the course of your career, research would have changed quite a bit. From library and phone calls to internet.

For example: Researching university fight songs over 25 years ago before Google and YouTube.

What are the advantages/ disadvantages over time in how access to information has changed things? Does make it harder for plot surprises? Poetic license?

Thanks Kindly.

Mac said...

I'm excited about Tron:Legacy - it's written by two guys who wrote for LOST and it's going to be on Imax 3D.
Big bucket of popcorn for that one.

Phillip B said...

A wonderful line from the Blues Brothers film, describing Bob's Country Bunker -

"We've got both kinds of music here - country and western."

estiv said...

Jon J, country-western is the original term, dating back to the thirties. You should show more respect for traditional values.

Paul Duca said...

Will Annie be doing a guest column about HER stint in dance school?

Matt Patton said...

You really shouldn't mention Porky Pig in the same sentence as George VI -- Pork was a LOT smarter

D. McEwan said...

I find it impossible to get excited about the new Tron movie. I haven't forgotten how terrible, and extremely ugly-looking the original was. That they could make a movie with Jeff Bridges when he was about 30, when he was beautiful, and vandalize and hide his beauty, in a movie that looked awful from beginning to end, was a dubious achievement at best. And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the original Tron lay a huge egg at the box office?