Monday, February 17, 2014
I may just pull an all-nighter and then look for a rib joint that’s open at dawn. The best ones always are.
Lots of my middle-aged pals would love to have sex with Claire Underwood. I would love her to be my agent.
If I have withdrawals after finishing this season of HOUSE OF CARDS, I can always watch MITT.
Charlie Sheen is engaged to a porn star. What does she see in him?
Shirley Temple Black was a former U.S. Ambassador. Why aren’t flags at half-mast for her?
Thanks to everybody for taking advantage of my book offer this weekend. It was kinda bizarre being in the Amazon top ten ahead of Tina Fey but behind Mindy Kalin. Three people returned the book I see. How much does someone have to truly hate a book that cost $0.99 to want to return it?
Now that pitchers and catchers have reported I find myself reading endless stories about workouts. I must be really starved for baseball. Or have no life.
Happy Chinese New Year. I understand this is the year of the Whores.
There’s a channel on Sirius/XM called “Love.” It’s the all “Beauty & the Beast” station. Every song sounds exactly like “Beauty & the Beast.”
Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera are both doing a spectacular job filling in for Bob Costas. Not an easy role to fill. It’s always a pleasure to watch true pros. If only I really cared about the Winter Olympics. According to the ratings, I’m not the only one.
Bob is scheduled to return tonight. He may wear glasses. If you enjoy Bob Costas conjunctivitis updates don’t make fun of me for reading articles about pitchers throwing off practice mounds. Welcome back, Bob. Keep taking the drops and stay off your eyes the next few days.
For some reason, my wife’s server believes that any email she receives from me is junk.
More Americans would relate to the Winter Olympics if one of the events was snow shoveling.
As my friend Howard Hoffman observed, every Olympic hockey game is another NHL All-Star game.
By the way, Howard is now live from 4-6 pm EST every day on GREAT BIG RADIO. He's as good or better now than he was when he was rocking on 77/WABC. Check him out. It may bring back memories of a thing called "radio."
Now with Global Warming, if the groundhog sees his own shadow New England gets buried.
Just bought the new iPhone 5S. For the first four days, every time I turned it on it wanted another password. Why it needs the password to my storage locker is beyond me.
Congratulations to everyone at GOOD LUCK CHARLIE, which finished its hugely successful four-year run on the Disney Channel last night. The writing was always a cut above. Each episode will only be rerun another 6,000 times so if you missed any, better catch up now.
I hear THE LEGO MOVIE is really good. How soon until a porno company comes out with the ERECTOR SET MOVIE?
Hopefully, after tonight, radio stations will stop playing Presidents’ Day music and go back to regular programming.
Someone told me AMERICAN IDOL is back on. Is that true?
Happy Birthday tomorrow to my lovely wife, Debby. How come I’m the only one who gets older?
Here in Los Angeles a major freeway is under re-construction and causing huge traffic problems. So it really IS like the President is here. Hope you’re having a happy, traffic-free holiday.
By Ken Levine at 6:00 AM