Wednesday, September 03, 2014

See MIckey Mouse beat the shit out of a guy

Here’s another edition of Short-Attention-Span-Blogging.

100 A-List actresses’ nude photos have been hacked and posted on the internet. This has sparked much debate over violation of privacy, free speech, etc. Be honest. Did you try to find them? Of course you didn’t. However, “Jennifer Lawrence Photos” was the most searched item on Google yesterday. So you didn’t look but someone did.

Poor Kirsten Dunst was only 9th.

I do not have anything in “the Cloud.” Nude selfies of me I don’t mind getting out. But I don’t want anybody downloading my Gwyneth Paltrow Sings album.

This is HILARIOUS. From Russia. The greatest case of road rage EVER. Don’t fuck with Mickey or Spongebob.


I think the bobblehead craze is finally starting to run its course. The Dodgers gave out a Magic Johnson no-look-pass bobblehead and had a bunch left over. And now they’re planning a Babe Ruth-as-a-Dodger-coach bobblehead giveaway. Jesus. Why not Dodger Stadium parking lot attendants bobbleheads?

I’m flying to New York tomorrow. Really looking forward to it now that there have been three – count ‘em, three -- separate incidents of in-flights fights over reclining seats. The Friendly Skies, my ass. Note to airlines: This isn’t peanuts. You can’t eliminate legroom.

It’s a good thing Mickey Mouse wasn’t on one of those flights.

When someone Tweeted to Anna Kendrick that he was happy her iPhone wasn’t hacked in the nude scandal she tweeted back: Don’t worry, bro. It would just be photos of food and other peoples’ dogs anyway.

Here’s my fantasy football team: The Los Angeles Rams.

NOVEMBER MAN was not bad. It’s Pierce Brosnann playing James Bond as Daniel Craig but looking as old as Roger Moore. The plot is somewhat familiar – Ex-CIA agent pulled back in. Denzel’s done one, Kevin Costner’s done one, Liam Neeson has done six. There’s one coming out every month. This must be November's.  

The Labor Day Telethon is not the same without Jerry Lewis.  Where's the faux sincerity?  Where's the cheese?  Where's Wayne Newton?   

The Toronto Film Festival is this weekend as Hollywood flies 3,000 miles to see movies they could watch at their desk.

I’m sorry to all my Facebook friends – I don’t check for birthdays. So let me now just wish you a Happy Birthday (whenever it is) and remind you that mine is February 14th.  And I'll be hurt if I don't hear from you.

Labor Day ratings: HOUDINI whipped SAVE BY THE BELL’S ass. But that’s understandable. HOUDINI was on THE HISTORY CHANNEL and SBTB was on one of those fringe networks – NBC I think it was.

The most played song this year on oldies radio stations is “Sister Golden Hair” by America. And for the first time ever, the Eagles have been played more than the Beatles. Too bad Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t record in the ‘80s.

I’m very excited. Next week I’m directing an episode of INSTANT MOM written by Annie Levine & Jonathan Emerson.  It's a great script and my Fellini touches will only make it better. 

Retiring shortstop, Derek Jeter is being honored this Saturday at Yankee Stadium. As all Yankee fans know he leads the franchise in hits, games played, stolen bases, and also was the first man to walk on the moon, discovered penicillin, painted the Sistine Chapel, founded Apple Computers, and hosted THE TONIGHT SHOW for 27 years. I hope they get a good crowd.  Just to play it safe they should give away Babe Ruth-as-Dodger-coach bobbleheads. 

Talk about “too soon” – This is what comedian Max Alexander posted on his Facebook wall yesterday: As of now funny lady and comedic pioneer Joan Rivers, is on life support…So is her daughters career.   YIKES.

I’m the only person in LA who has not touched the Stanley Cup. Guys on Death Row are trading it for cigarettes.

I hate that the first week of college football, powerhouse nationally ranked teams play opponents like Death Valley Jr. Community College and Duncan Hines Cake Decorating Academy and beat the crap out of them 85-3. That’s not football. That’s organized bullying with a marching band.


Networks are starting to buy pilot pitches again. So if you’re a successful actor run in and sell your amazing life story about growing up in a family that lived in a house. Once all the actors have sold pilots, then writers are invited to pitch – probably in late November.

Now that Labor Day is over, let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas.   Get those lights up.  It's already September 3rd. 

And here's the best part of Christmas:  Allison Williams as Peter Pan for a live NBC special.  No wonder the Lost Boys are lost -- they're going to have a lot of confused excited hormones.

28 comments:

Hamid said...

Fellini's cool but throw in a Kubrickian steadicam tracking shot and I'll be in visual heaven. Nobody did tracking shots better than Kubrick.

Stoney said...

Apparently Ken, you didn't follow the Syracuse-Villanova game. Local sportscasters and writers predicted it would be an easy win for the Orange. Turned out to be a one-point squeak-by in 2OT.

Please don't talk about football for L.A. There's some fear here in upstate New York that a new owner for the Bills could mean bye-bye Buffalo.

As far as oldies on the radio goes, Little Steven Van Zandt is right; the sixties are slowly disappearing.

Did you see Houdini? Terrible!

rockgolf said...

"The most played song this year on oldies radio stations is “Sister Golden Hair” by America."

As a chart music fan, I love trivia like this. Is there a source available on the net, Ken, that shows the top 10 or more oldies? I tried a search for "Sister Golden Hair" in Google News, but couldn't find anything relevant.

IT Guy said...

Not too get too dorky, nerdy, semantic, but no one's phone got "hacked" in this case; the celebrities had their passwords stolen.

Hacked suggests some sort of security breech that was exploited.

Anyway, carry on.

Thomas said...

IT guy: As a fellow pedant, social engineering is absolutely a form of hacking. Brute force would be hacking, as is exploiting a flaw or exploiting a terrible verification system on the part of Apple.

Dan Ball said...

TruTV should have a show dedicated to Russian dash-cam footage. It's never a let-down.

Ken, here's a Friday/anytime question:

Amazon Studios (yes, THE Amazon) is having open submission season for both series and features. What are your thoughts on that and would you rather recommend it to friends or enemies?

VP81955 said...

Got one of the Magic Johnson bobbleheads last night before Clayton beat my Nats (perhaps Washington will have better luck in today's lunchtime finale). From what I understand, Dodger officials found focus groups simply didn't go for their original plan to give away Stan Kasten bobbleheads.

BTW, I like the idea of the Rams returning to their one-time home (and I don't mean Cleveland) -- on the condition that they go old-school and return to the royal blue-and-gold uniforms and ram's horn helmets they wore in the Waterfield-Hirsch glory days. Leave the metallic gold behind in St. Louis for the Jaguars after they relocate.

Todd Everett said...

Backlighting works well for Spielberg. Or you could go all George Lucas and shoot alternate scenes for each rerun.

Tim W. said...

Directing an episode of the show your daughter writes on? Man, you people that just leech off your more successful family members bug me.

Thomas Mossman said...

Alison Williams as Peter Pan looks like Sacha Baron Cohen as Bruno.

MikeK.Pa. said...

EVen though it was directed at her daughter (and God knows how protective she is/was of her - watch Celebrity Apprentice), I think Joan would have appreciated the timeliness and tastelessness of the joke. She threw down more than a few in her time.

Regarding the Syracuse 1-point win over Nova. It was the result of the Wildcats going for a 2-point conversion and the win, rather than the more conventional and safer PAT and tie. For smaller programs, such as Delaware, who took a pasting from Pittsburgh, the money they get for such beatings goes a long way to footing the bill for their program. Delaware might be a poor example given all the DuPont money floating around the state.

Glenn E said...

Today’s animated Russian road-rage recalls a classic Levine/Isaacs moment from Cheers and a new question. In Airport V (Season 6, 1988), Eddie LeBec’s phone call is overshadowed by a hilarious mascot brawl behind him. One mascot knocks the other’s mask in a perfect 360 degree spiral – was this spiraling mascot mask business part of the written script, perfected after multiple swings/takes on the set, or perhaps, a piece of improvised magic by the grumpy Russians in the mascot costumes? Anyway, it remains one of the biggest laugh-out-loud moments in all Cheers’ history. Thanks.

AlaskaRay said...

Don't you dare touch your Fellini!

D. McEwan said...

Wake me when they hack and post nude selfies of hot male celebrities.

Victor Velasco said...

Re: Dodger bobbleheads
If were gonna go all historic, how about a double-bobble? Dave Stewart, standing with arms folded, serving as lookout for a crouching, snorting Steve Howe?

Mike B. said...

I read that as Anson Williams as Peter Pan

cityslkrz said...

What are you doing in NYC, signing something we should buy?

Dave Olden said...

@Mike B

Potsy Pan?

sanford said...

If you don't want your nude pictures floating around then don't post them on instagram or some where else. Are people that stupid that nothing is private on line.

As for November Man. I read the books. I am sure they have screwed up the story. I read these books years ago, but as i recall, the Brosnan character was sort of an older guy who was pulled back in.

Gail Lornes said...

"Networks are starting to buy pilot pitches again. So if you’re a successful actor run in and sell your amazing life story about growing up in a family that lived in a house. Once all the actors have sold pilots, then writers are invited to pitch – probably in late November. "

Bitterman, party of one?

cadavra said...

As it happens, my birthday IS tomorrow. So thank you!

Daniel said...

Regarding the celebrity nudes: Cellphones put Polaroid and the U.S. Postal Service out of business, and now they're going to bring them back.

Chris said...

@Dave Olden:
Potsy Pan
Funniest response in ages. I'm stealing it.

Charles H. Bryan said...

Related to nothing in particular here: I listened to Gilbert Gottfried's podcast where he interviewed Bill Persky, and by interviewed I mean that Gottfried said "Bill, do you have any stories?" and Bill Persky told stories for an hour or so and could have gone longer. A very funny guy. I know that Gottfried is not everyone's favorite, but he really doesn't say much during the show - his respect and affection for Bill Persky was obvious.

Charles H. Bryan said...

@ D. McEwen -- depending on one's assessment of Justin Verlander's hotness, he is supposedly included in the Kate Upton combo secret-selfie pack.

In a strictly baseball sense, based on his start last night in Cleveland, not so hot.

The Comedic Ghost of Joan Rivers said...

The last time somebody named Williams played Peter Pan, it didn't work out well for him in the end.* So Allison (and perhaps Anson) should always keep that in mind.

*: Too soon?

chuckcd said...

But it is a payday for those small schools, who sometimes get half their budget in that one game.

mike said...

Last I looked, the USPS was alive and well. If they have a deficit it is because of more gop insanity--a 2006 law that required them to pre-fund employee pensions of the next 75 years! Imagine UPS having to do that by federal mandate? Conservatives would never stop whining about the Big Bad Feds, but since they want to privatize the postal service and break the union, somehow this nuttiness is ok. Oh, and never ever mentioned in the 'liberal' media.