Sunday, February 14, 2016

Thanks for liking me on my birthday

Happy Valentine’s Day.

As longtime readers of this blog know, it’s also my birthday. I’m getting closer and closer to 40.

But having your birthday on Valentine’s Day has its drawbacks. You can’t go out to dinner because everyone is going out to dinner. And restaurants jack up the prices. Or they have special menus AND jack up the prices. Four course gourmet dinner at Applebee’s, that sort of thing.

And you share your birthday with a holiday. I remember in the second grade when we had to give out Valentines to everyone in class, I didn’t get one from Charlene Uranga. Not only did it bum me out because I had a big crush on her, but it’s distressing when the pattern for your love life becomes quite apparent at six.

So I’ve never really loved my birthday. A few years ago I went to a SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWUIMSUIT party and one of the chefs came down with Hepatitis. So we all had to get emergency immune globulin shots from a needle they use on horses.

And then there was this happy celebration one year.

But now, thanks to social media, my spirits have been lifted. Like (I’m assuming) most people on Facebook, I’ve been receiving lovely birthday greetings from friends and family members far and wide. Even people I don’t know are wishing me Happy Birthday.

One year I wrote back individual notes. That ate up 90% of my birthday. Now I just write one status update thanking everyone who remembered me on this anniversary of the day a bunch of Al Capone’s gangsters mowed down other gangsters in a Chicago garage.

But I sort of feel guilty because I don’t check Facebook every day and as a result very rarely reciprocate when someone wishes me a Happy Birthday. I know it's horrible, but it’s nothing personal. I love each and every one of you and wish you all the happiest of birthdays, but Jesus, you people have birthdays EVERY SINGLE DAY. This would be so much easier if, like racehorses, everyone just aged another year on January 1st.

So again, to all of you – thank you and Happy Birthday either in advance or belatedly. And I mean that.

And I already wished you a Happy Valentine’s Day. Charlene Uranga, if you’re out there, it’s not too late.

28 comments:

LouOCNY said...

Happy Birthday Ken!! Your prescience on this planet gives joy to thousands..if not millions every day!

Glenn E said...

You won’t believe this, Ken, but I swear it happened just like this. I’m waiting at the pharmacy behind this woman and her daughter. Their conversation apparently centered on “the ones that got away” as the older woman said in passing, “I wonder whatever became of Ken Levine.” Now, of course, there’s many Ken Levines roaming the world, I thought, what are the odds...and then the pharmacist raises up a bag and calls over “For Honoria”. I was stunned - it must be her! Unbelievable, to be standing right there with Honoria. My thoughts raced, should I speak up and tell her of Ken; the TV shows, the great blog, the baseball announcing, so much to mention in the fleeting moments. I turned then to the younger woman and asked, “Are you her daughter?” “Why, yes I am.” she replied. I continued, “Pardon my asking but what is your name?” She answered, “Analia” and, with that, mother and daughter exited the store. I didn’t have the nerve to ask any more questions. Maybe it’s just as well.

Happy Birthday Ken! and Happy Valentine’s Day to all the ones that got away.

Rich Shealer said...

I see Google search trending on "Charlene Uranga" today.

Happy Birthday Ken

Glenn said...

One good thing, Ken...heart-shaped cakes. Have a great birthday!

AlaskaRay said...

Happy Birthday. You and Shelby and Beth and I should make plans.

Tudor Queen said...

Happy birthday tone of my favorite bloggers! If it makes you feel better (it probably won't), my mom shared her birthday with Christmas Eve.

Matthew Kugler said...

Happy Birthday, Ken! Hope you have a wonderfully happy and healthy year!

B.A. said...

Have a happy, Ken. I look forward to buying discounted candy the day after your birthday.

Mike Barer said...

You share birthdays with a current Mariner broadcaster, Dave Sims! Happy Birthday to both of you!

kent said...

Happy Birthday, Ken.

You can reciprocate on April 24 when Barbra Streisand, Chipper Jones and I have ours (or not).

My Dad's was on St Patty's Day so only the bars were over crowded. At least it was festive.

Serially, enjoy yours, Ken.

BrettJ said...

And I happen to know Dave Sim of "Cerebus" fame, the coinkydinks continue. Have a happy birthday Ken (which was my dad's name, incidentally)

The Bumble Bee Pendant said...

GLENN! Very funny


Happy birthday Ken. Hope it's filled with laughs and smiles.

Wendy M. Grossman said...

Happy birthday.

wg

Charles H. Bryan said...

Happy Birthday, Ken! I recommend just staying 39.

In the world of coincidence, Valentine's Day weekend this year is also the beginning of the Westminster Dog Show. Let's face it -- the same evaluation structure is applied to most dating relationships -- Does this specimen represent an ideal of form? Is behavior appropriate? Is he or she housebroken? -- although getting to the haunch grabbing might take a little longer in some cases.

And we all know people who have trained their mates, and are proud of it.

Jeff Maxwell said...

Third grade, I loved Mary. Valentine's Day was also her birthday, so I gave her a birthday card instead of a Valentine. She sent me a note: "Meet me at the swings at 2:00." Mary kissed me at the swings because I was the only one who thought to give her a birthday card. Mary and I went our separate ways, but it was nice while it lasted.

Happy Birthday, Ken. Go have a nice swing.

Kirk said...

Happy birthday, Ken. My late father's was two days ago. He shares it with Lincoln and Darwin. Different year, though.

404 said...

Happy birthday, Ken!! Like Kirk's father above, mine was also two days ago, so I share mine with Lincoln's birthday. Not quite as festive as sharing with Valentine's Day, but you'd be surprised at how many people just assume you know everything there is to know about Abraham Lincoln because of it. And my parents used to tell me that they almost named me Abraham Lincoln because of it. I'm still not entirely sure if they were joking about that or not.

Diane D. said...

I read your blog for the first time about 3 years ago, and have not missed a day since. It has given me so much pleasure. I have learned so much that helps me to enjoy film/TV even more than I did before. I have laughed, cried, been shocked, been inspired, been dispirited---in short, I have felt all of those emotions that remind me how rich and varied and fascinating life can be. On your birthday, I would like to thank you for that gift. Unfortunately, I can't reciprocate.

Stephen Marks said...


Charlene Uranga said...

And you areeeeeeeeeee???

wackiland said...

Happy birthday, ken. THanks for all the laughter and lessons over the years and I hope our paths cross someday.

Rowan said...

Happy Birthday Ken, and I hope you and your wife have a lovely Valentine's Day.

I also have a Friday question - With your recent (and accurate) comment about how television audiences don't want to see a traditional variety show with singing and dancing and the like, what are you thoughts as to why NBC just greenlit a new Variety show from Lorne Michaels starring Martin Short and Maya Rudolph? Do you think someone there really does believe that variety show can work today, or is was this a put pilot so they had to air this as a series (however limited) or pay a large penalty? Just wondering what your thoughts were when you heard about this the other day.

Myles Warden said...

Happy birthday man! Also bdays not on holidays can be just as bad. Mine is a week after New Yrs so who wants to party hard again right after New Years? The biggest party day of the year. Plus, I have to share it with Beyonce's child now and even for my friends Blue Ivy is more important. Lol. *shrugs*

D. McEwan said...

You just know that Billy Wilder had the great Some Like It Hot begin on your birthday solely to honor you. And rightly so. Sure, you were only 9 at the time, but that sort of foresight was what made Wilder a genius.

Cap'n Bob said...

I feel your pain, Ken. My birthday is on the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. Tray and buy a top hat and fake beard on that day.

And as I said yesterday, happy birthday.

Steve Morris said...

You and Jack Benny, huh? While I sympathize, I gotta say, I'm a finalist in the pity party competition. January 2nd. Try spending 3 months listening to ads that say, "But you'd better come in now, because the fun ends on January 2nd." =)

Paul Duca said...

I just found out I am day, date and year (2/10/64) with Glenn Beck...

Jon H said...

Happy belated birthday, Ken! A coworker of mine also has a Feb. 14 b-day. I told her that made things nice for her husband, since he'd never forget her b-day. :)

urdu poetry said...

That's so awesome