Academy voters don’t exclude people because of their race. They exclude people because they’re friends they don’t want to see do better than them. Get real.
I boycotted the Oscars for the same reason Will Smith did. I wasn’t nominated.
And Jada Picket Smith boycotting the ceremony had the same impact as Sarah Palin boycotting the Mensa convention.
Chris Rock’s opening monologue was scathing and quite funny. If only the show’s producers had left it there.
I’m very empathetic to the cause, but by the time they did that montage with Whoopi Goldberg entering JOY bemoaning the lack of black actors in movies I screamed at the screen: I GET IT!!! I FUCKING GET IT!!!
No Oscar review would be complete without first checking in on the KTLA Channel 5 Red Carpet Show hosted by Sam Rubin (the man who put the “hyper” in hyperbole) and Jessica Holmes (prom night in Biafra). Plus, fashion expert, Lawrence Zarian (whoever he is). Eagle-eyed Lawrence critiqued the stars on the red carpet, somehow mistaking Mindy Kaling for Joy Mangano. That’s a common mistake. When they finally did show Mindy he gushed: “I love when a television actress looks like a movie star.”But you can’t beat Sam and Jess for sheer insipid babble. How’s this for a segue? Sam: “The award season has been described as an endless slog, beginning in December, going all the way into February, but here’s Sam Smith!”
Jessica to Louis Gossett Jr.: “You’re here to be a presenter.” No, he corrected her; he was there to introduce the In Memoriam segment. Jessica covered beautifully by asking: “I’m sure, you being in the business so long yourself, have lost someone you love. We all have friends that unfortunately… we all have friends – so many have passed.” Where's Tawny Little when you need her?
But nothing tops Sam Rubin’s interview with Jacob Tremblay, the kid from THE ROOM. First Sam asked if he brought toys with him. When Jacob said no but he brought candy, Sam asked: “Do you like mints?” But then he asked this towhead, who is 9, whether he wants to direct? You can’t make this stuff up.
Over on another network the woman host asked Saorise Ronan, “Is that your dad?” to which she said, “No, that’s Nick Hornby.”
But I digress...
New this year: a running scroll at the bottom of the screen with the names of people the winners wished to thank. How many folks in the south turned it off thinking they were watching the Chabad Telethon? Heck, at one point there was even a tote board.
And you didn’t have to be anti-Semitic to cringe at Sarah Silverman’s routine. Funnier was Joe Biden’s speech.
Still, the low point was Chris Rock introducing Stacey Dash. Next to Bill Cosby, I can’t imagine a person of diversity that crowd wanted to see less.
Big night for MAD MAX. It won most of the technical awards. I was quite happy because (a) it deserved them, and (b) the Australian’s speeches were refreshingly free of thanking the Gersh Agency.
A black man almost won an acting award. Sylvester Stallone must’ve spent the entire month in a tanning booth. He was darker than Lou Gossett Jr. That Sly lost to Mark Rylance was the upset of the night. But Rocky Balboa will be back I’m sure, this time coaching Abraham Attah.
Writers were honored by showing examples of their screenplays. These are among the dialogue snippets they chose: “Cool.” “Yes.” “Why?” “Yeah.” “OK.” I hope moviegoers can now finally appreciate what we do.
Best Supporting Actress winner Alicia Vikander looked spectacular in a strapless lemon-yellow gown. Now I’m sorry I used my screener of THE DANISH GIRL for a potholder. How many years has John Williams been nominated for writing the same damn score?
R2D2 was funnier than Sarah Silverman.
The random aerial performer during Weekend’s singing of “Earn It” gave that number a real “Carnival Cruise line” feel.
Other than thanking her “team”, Brie Larson sounded genuine and humble. Glad she won. Although a little part of me was hoping Charlotte Rampling would win and be booed.
Did you notice how every actor thanked his “team?” Three years ago they’re telling you the specials at Buca di Beppo and now they’ve got a “team.”
“Sexiest dress of the night” award went to Rachel McAdams – a shimmering green gown with a long slit up the side. I now have a right leg fetish. Jared Leto made a merken joke, acknowledging that most people don’t know what a merken is. If Rachel McAdams’ slit were any higher she could have given a demonstration.
Was there ever a bigger lock than Leo DiCaprio? First win in six tries. Too bad he gave all six acceptance speeches.
Expect Will Smith to be sleeping in an animal carcass come next Oscar season.
SPOTLIGHT winning Best Picture said to me the Academy not only doesn’t have enough diversity; it doesn’t have enough Catholics.
How great was Louis CK? Funniest presenter speech by far – championing the short documentary filmmakers who will never get rich and just make films that are important. Then the winner got up and the play off music began almost before she reached the microphone.
Olivia Munn’s make up person must’ve been the same guy who did Joel Grey in CABARET.
EX MACHINA won for Best Special Effects yet they played them off with the STAR WARS theme.
Distinguished movie actress Sofia Vergara (HOT PURSUIT, MACHETE KILLS, THE 3 STOOGES) was there to once again do her tired Charo act. She couldn’t even pronounce “Saul.”
Not cool. They played off the director of SON OF SAUL (a Holocaust movie) with Wagner. When Margot Robbie walked out, I thought there was going to be a salute to GOLDFINGER.
The Girl Scout Cookie bit didn’t work when Ellen did it with pizzas a couple of years ago.
Meanwhile, the last thing Patricia Arquette needs is more Girl Scout cookies.
I found Ennio Morricone’s speech very touching, even through a translator. It must’ve been excruciating for Lady Gaga to see a standing ovation that wasn’t for her.
When they don’t even perform your nominated song, don’t even bother writing a speech. Same if you’re up against Pixar.
Cate Blanchett’s gown looked like a couch she was sitting on exploded.
Ellen K. did a great job as the booth announcer.
Since when do they give the Best Director award before the Best Actor & Actress awards? Congratulations to Alejandro Inarittu, truly an artist. With this win he is now pre-approved by CBS to direct an episode of SUPERGIRL.
Am I the only one who thought Lady Gaga’s performance was just a tad overwrought? Seeing all of those survivors was very moving, even if their entrance did remind me of the kids from OLIVER. But cutting back to Lady Gaga alternating between Celine Dion and Jerry Lee Lewis was a little much. Does she have to upstage everybody? Always?
Congratulations to all the winners. Well deserved every one, although I have no idea what Sam Smith was singing. Something about breaking a fall, suffocating, and Spectre hires too many whites, I dunno?
All in all, this year’s Oscarcast was 3 ½ hours of being lectured, harangued, and blamed for the world’s ills by the people who brought you TED 2. Weren’t we were supposed to be celebrating movies? I think Idris Elba is a great actor and I bought three boxes of Girl Scout cookies, so leave me the hell alone!
58 comments :
"Weren’t we were supposed to be celebrating movies?"
Not at all.
You were supposed to be celebrating american movies.
I think Louis CK should host next year.
'If Rachel McAdams’ slit were any higher...' errrrr... Okay, it was late. And maybe that doesn't quite mean the same thing in the US it means in the UK...
'When they don’t even perform your nominated song, don’t even bother writing a speech.' Anthony Hegarty didn't even turn up.
Was the Oscars on last night? I really should try and reconnect....
"All in all, this year’s Oscarcast was 3 ½ hours of being lectured, harangued, and blamed for the world’s ills by the people who brought you TED 2."
Brilliant, Ken.
Great review, Ken. Yes, that girl-scout-cookie bit was not only annoying, but weird. As with Ellen with the pizzas, I guess that's the, "hey, we're just like you folks watching at home," part. I switched the channel in the middle of Sarah Silverman's speech - somewhere in between, "I get it," and "What the fuck is she talking about?" Didn't catch the Wagner thing - Ouch! Something tells me that Leo had another speech in mind but when he saw everybody going political he felt he had to say something too. But if you think John Williams has been writing, "the same damn score," I suggest you sit down and listen to his score of SCHINDLER'S LIST. I dare you not to gush tears.
I was rooting for Stallone to win best supporting actor, as I'm a fan of the big lug, and had it gone to Christian Bale, Mark Ruffalo or Tom Hardy, it wouldn't have been such a bad loss. The fact that it went to Mark Rylance sticks in the gut, not just because his was a one note performance but because he has views that belong in the sewer. I doubt Steven Spielberg knew when he cast Rylance in Bridge of Spies and his following film, The BFG, that he's part of the BDS Movement which has boycotted plays by Israeli theater groups and has gone on protest marches in London where he likened ISIS to Nelson Mandela and said they're not bad people, just angry.
https://twitter.com/iainmartin1/status/670975483530641414
Isn't it funny how Rylance wants to boycott Israel but is happy to collect a big fat paycheck to be in a film directed by an Israel supporting Jewish filmmaker. Spielberg has been quoted in the past as saying he'd die for Israel, so I believe he genuinely didn't know about Rylance's stance when he hired him. Judging by the kiss he blew Rylance last night, he most likely still doesn't know about his comments on ISIS either, or the fact that Rylance is a member of a rabid group of lunatics in the UK called Stop the War, who tweeted after the massacre of 130 people in Paris that they'd "reaped the whirlwind" of Western foreign policy. Stop the War have stood on many platforms at rallies with members of jihadist groups who have spouted anti-Semitic and homophobic comments.
Rylance, his acting ability aside, is the worst kind of hypocrite, associating with vile people and spouting vile comments himself, while having no problem picking up lots of money to be in films directed by someone who the "angry" members of ISIS would happily behead just for being a Jew. For me, that makes Rylance a scumbag.
Oh and Chris Rock isn't funny any more.
If you really want to see Alicia Vikander looking spectacular, just watch her in "Ex Machina" instead.
Two Best Pictures in a row starring Michael Keaton. If you want Oscar Gold, hire Keaton!
Great review as usual. So glad to hear you had the same politically-incorrect reactions I did. Chris Rock's monologue was great, but after that, they should've moved on. The nadir of the white guilt had to be the closing credits, when they actually played the gangsta rap anthem "Fight The Power." News flash: you people in the theater ARE the power! If you think it's outrageous that more black people weren't hired or nominated, then hire more and vote for them. Problem solved.
Thank you for pointing out that Lady Gaga's performance was "overwrought," which is an understatement. After giving us a Super Bowl National Anthem that included every affected vocalist tic up to and including a Celine Dion "pound your chest with your fist," she topped it by demonstrating how horrible rape is by raping that song.
And I loved being lectured about how humanity will die due to CO2 emissions on a show that flew Joe Biden in all the way from DC on his private Boeing 747, then tied up traffic for hours with his motorcade so he could give a one-minute intro for Lady Gaga that he could've done from DC on satellite. Or were they hoping he would demonstrate unwanted sexual advances by giving Lady Gaga an unsolicited shoulder rub? And how much global warming can be attributed just to all the smoke and exhaust from "Mad Max" alone?
I'm glad you also noticed how "sex change operation" became "sexual reassignment surgery" and is now "gender confirmation surgery." We need an operation that can bring George Carlin back from the dead to comment on that ever-expanding verbiage.
On the plus side, Louis CK's bit was great, and I didn't think Sarah Silverman was any less funny than she normally is.
Since comedies get shut out of the oscars, well mostly, I wondered what comedies over the past few years you feel should have won. Including actors and directors. Rewrite history, Ken!
"All in all, this year’s Oscarcast was 3 ½ hours of being lectured, harangued, and blamed for the world’s ills by the people who brought you TED 2."
This sums up why I didn't bother to watch this crapfest, and instead had a movie night with my kids.
Thank you for making me look up what a Merkin is.
Here is a wonderful picture of one. http://tworogers.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/puppy1.jpg
This is so fucking awesome! You should be hired to MST3K the Oscars next year DURING the ceremony.
Wonderful Ken! "I get it, I fucking get it". This had to be said, it absolutely had to be said. I'm sorry African-American community if it offends you, but what happened last night will never be better articulated in any review of the Oscars then Ken's 7 words. 7 words Carlin was never able to say on BET.
"New this year: a running scroll at the bottom of the screen with the names of people the winners wished to thank."
THAT'S what that running scroll was! I thought ABC was giving us initial exit polls from Super Tuesday.
I remember politics and Oscars mixing ever since I started watching in the Bob Hope and Johnny Carson days. This year I'll spare you the Bob Hope Passover joke.
Thanks for watching and sparing me the agony.
Shame on Chris Rock (and the media's response to his speech) for viewing diversity strictly in black-white terms. Strangely, the LA Times had a splendid story Saturday on problems facing Hispanic actors, featuring some splendid quotes from Rock himself (albeit from 2014). But Hispanics and Asians still don't count for much in Hollywood. Ridiculously simplistic.
Elsewhere on another site, someone mentioned that both Geoffrey Lewis and Abe Vigoda were left out of the In Memoriam montage. As Rosanne Rosannadana would say, "It's always something..."
Spit-take funny, Ken. This is the review P.C. Hollywood wouldn't dare write.
Sorry you are wrong about the Oscars being 3 and half hours long. I set the DVR to add 30 minutes to the 3 hour show and it stopped on a freeze frame of Morgan Freeman as he said "the winner for best picture is..." Now I will never know who won best picture.
Great review Ken. The hypocrisy of that group of entitled layabouts has reached new heights. And how about them giving the 'size doesn't matter' joke to one of the child presenters? Classy. I only watched this year to see how they would handle the backlash. They didn't disappoint. What a train wreck.
To Pat Reeder: Very funny. The Gaga line was classic.
Me and my team have to go to work now.
Aloha
To paraphrase Sam Goldwyn, "If you want to send a message, use Twitter."
Chris Rock's opening monologue was hilarious, but it would have been nice he had mentioned art or the movies or the real reason for this event--it's not held just to insult black people.
Rock or his writers or both are true pros. They got in their solid punches and then leavened them with jokes that went in the other direction, e.g slamming Jada Pinkett, the importance of receiving an Oscar vs the importance of receiving a noose, etc. And how can you hate a man who brings out a pack of little Girl Scouts.
The hardest job of the night? The presenters who had to follow the jesters and the clowns with somber intros about Art or Film. Impossible to do.
My acceptance speech if I won? "I apologize for being white and winning an award. Now Jada is mad at me and Will is mad at me. Well, actually...Will's gonna be made at me at soon as Jada tells him to be."
-30-
Just as I expected. The awards show was three and a half hours of cracker jokes.
Although I was impressed by the first award. Hollywood is notorious for acting on guilt so I thought Compton would win for screenplay. So glad it didn't. I saw it and thought it was mis-titled. Should have been Straight Outta Compost.
Oh well, I hear that the Academy is solving the non white thing next year by instituting quotas. And you thought the awards were political and not about achievement now!
I've been a fan of short subjects from the days of silents through the Columbia shorts (Stooges, Buster Keaton, Charlie Chase etc) but I have no idea where the current crop of shorts can be seen. We don't have "art theaters" here in Vegas. Is there anywhere on line that current shorts can be seen?
Always love your Oscar recaps. Ugh so true...I felt harangued "by the people who brought you Ted 2."
Hopefully, this wake-up call is just the beginning, and we'll be seeing boycotts held by angry Jews, Asians, Hispanics, and yes, Whites, who feel underrepresented in the NBA. I want to see a Lakers game full of EMPTY SEATS!!
The NBA does NOT represent America!
-Forced to be Manager of My High School Basketball Team
I have a question: Prom night in Biafra? I remember Biafra as an African country which hosted a civil war in the '60s.
Thank you Ken and all the commenters here. Because yeah, why did the Academy Awards spend the whole night yelling at me, watching at home in my bunny slippers and jammies? None of that mess was my fault!
The whole thing was just another example of how the masses must suffer for the sins of the elites. (Am I allowed to say, "Feel the Bern!" No? Okay.)
Message to the Oscars Team: Just make better movies, you guys. That's your whole job. And figure out how to do it on your own time, don't make the rest of us waste a whole Sunday night while you bitch and moan about it.
The Oscars are one big circle jerk...and there are plenty of jerks to circle.
Peter Sellers 's Adlai Stevenson character in Dr. Strangelove was named President Merkin Muffley.
That is not a coincidence.
Spectacular review! Stacey and I are still laughing!
Spectacular review! Stacey and I are still laughing!
Didn't they do a bit last night that actors of any color or ethnicity could play any part? Yet, a lot of people are upset about a white guy playing Michael Jackson. Can't have it both ways, kids.
Why can't the show be just about movies? Oh, yeah, because ABC pays a lot of money and needs this.
Watching last night made me miss Seth MacFarlane. And that guy from Spiderman and woman from the starving movie.
At least they remembered Stan Freberg. But they put in one Godfather guy and left out another (Abe Vigoda). Doesn't anyone think? Sorry, stupid question.
Enjoyed your review. In my opinion, the Oscars are largely just a narcissistic mediocrity festival, with prima donnas and their male equivalents strutting on a red carpet, which should be reserved for heads of state and royalty, not mere entertainers. Add a load of politically correct claptrap about racism (an American pastime, it seems; if they solve the problem, what are they going to whine about?), bad singing, cliche-ridden speeches, presenters with double-figure IQs (those fawning sycophants who did the interviews) and there it is. I wanted Charlotte Rampling to win, too-- and I even saw the film. A three minute trailer of Di Caprio chewing the scenery put me off his film, although Sakamoto's music was excellent.
ANNOYED AND BORED BRIT FROM CANADA
My problem with the last few telecasts is simple. They spend 3 hours of the telecast on awards nobody cares about -- the guy who helped Leo grow his Revenant beard or the obscure documentary from Eastern Europistan. Then, at 11:30pm Eastern, they go into sprint mode and start shoving all the big names we WANT to see off the stage in 90 seconds so they get the show done by midnight.
Who sits down and times out the show? Is it SO hard to figure out that maybe you cut some of the fluff and start the Big Name segment at 8:15pm (theater time), or even at 8, and give it room to breathe?
It's not THAT hard to time out a live show. Really.
My biggest problem with the last few Oscarcasts is this: after spending 3 hours on fluff, nonsense, and manifestos -- not to mention long-winded speeches by Leo's hairdresser and the documentary filmmaker from Eastern Europistan -- we reach 8:30pm Pacific and someone realizes the show has to end by 9 for the East Coast.
So those last 30 minutes are a mad sprint to the finish line, with the biggest names in Hollywood getting shoved off the stage after just a minute or two in order to hit that midnight Eastern ending time.
Who times this stuff out? Why is it so hard every year?
I only learned what a Merken was about a week ago. I felt so in-the-know!
I am not a Gaga fan.. there, I've said it out loud. Overwrought? She'd have had to bring it down a notch to be overwrought.
Thank God! I thought I was the only one who doesn't think Sarah Silverman is funny. I was sure I must be missing something.
Louis CK, excellent
Overall, I enjoyed Chris Rock
And, I always enjoy your snark Ken. You get right to the heart of things and then rip it out by the ventricles!
Fight the Power isn't "gangsta rap" just FYI. Lol. More like conscience rap.
where's the review of all the Oscar parties you were invited to? :)
My suggestion for the Oscars next year?
It's a 2 part suggestion: 1) Make Movies in 2016 that real People want to see that are entertaining and memorable (and not just super hero flicks) 2) Nominate them.
I haven't seen The Revenant but I keep hearing how DiCaprio deserved Best Actor because the conditions were was so difficult. Since when is enduring difficult working conditions the same a good acting? For that matter if it was that miserable how do we even know he was acting? Wasn't he playing a character who was miserable for the whole film? And finally if surviving tough conditions is good acting then surely Bear Grylls and Les Stroud are due Emmys for best acting, no?
Attended an Oscar-watching party of about 16 people. There were black people, white people, gay people, yellowish people (maybe just ill) some Jews, couple of Catholics, and some Heinz 57 Varieties. It was a mixture of showbiz and civilians. We all laughed at Chris Rock's monologue, agreed that diversity is good, and immediately turned our attention to the host's chicken and cupcakes...also good.
The Oscars were just an excuse for some very nice, diverse people to laugh and enjoy each other and our differences. And we had a great time doing it.
My wife was sick so she watched from home. She had no fun, no laughs and no chicken.
Ken,
Miss McAdams dress was just as revealing in all directions --
http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2016/stylewatch/blog/160314/rachel-mcadams-600x450.jpg
God bless you (and everyone else) for being able to sit through the entire ceremony, something I haven't been able to do in ages.
Jeff Maxwell Said:
"There were black people, white people, gay people, yellowish people (maybe just ill)"
I'm sure your friends of asian heritage will just love that description, Jeff.
Why is it that those who would most vehemently argue in defense of their racial sensitivity, are the ones who make statements like this at happy little parties full of diversity, where everyone enjoyed themselves and their differences?
==Phil
http://deadline.com/2016/02/charlie-tuna-dead-los-angeles-disc-jockey-tv-announcer-1201711853/
In case you didn't hear, Charlie Tuna died. RIP.
Hey, Peter, Alan Rickman directed a play about Rachel Corrie. Therefore he should have been omitted from In Memoriam, right? Yes, I'm being sarcastic.
Speaking of Louis Gossett, many Egyptians were outraged when he was cast as Anwar Sadat. Racism is not a purely American phenomenon.
Who's starting the online petition to have Louis CK host next year?
Although each complains about the other Hollywood and Washington, DC, are mirror images. Lot of hot air and self-congratulatory platitudes with little to show for it. Media (Beltway media, entertainment press) that swallow any news that's delivered their way with little questioning. Quick to criticize, but thin-skinned to critiques.
I'm a Baby Boomer working with a lot of millennials. None of them watched the show and what little highlights they saw, left them unimpressed. Curious what kind of ratings this sagging annual showcase had.
Lady Gaga reminds me of Christina Aguilera. They have great voices and love to show you how hard it is to be that great. I've always enjoyed artists like Tony Bennett, who had great voices and made it look like anyone could do it.
I heard the "swag bags" for the presenters were worth over $200K. Isn't representing their "art" enough? They have to be bribed to read bad lines off a TelePrompter for two minutes?
I'm glad the writers of SPOTLIGHT and THE BIG SHORT were rewarded. Both excellent films. I fell asleep for the middle 90 minutes - missing only Stallone's reaction to not winning best supporting actor and the In Memoriam segment, which I caught online. I woke up in time to see best actor/actress/director/picture.
Jason,
I will be devoting tomorrow's post to Charlie.
I'll try another question:
What's everyone's beef with Jenny Beavan?
"Don't be scared. It's what non-Hollywood people look like." #diversity
Ken: Almost everything you said is true, but I still enjoyed the heck out of it.
DW: I've been making Biffle & Shooster shorts for the past couple of years, and we hope to have them out on DVD soon. Not putting them on YouTube yet because I'd like to at least try and get some of the money back!
Anonymous Said:
"I'm sure your friends of asian heritage will just love that description, Jeff."
Aw gee. This is Ken's space, so I won't take up time defending my post. BUT, I never said anybody at the Oscar party was asian; that's your projection. I have no idea what country of origin or physical condition may have made them yellowish. My wife was at home sick and somewhat yellowish, too.
Racial divide in Hollywood. All because Will Smith's movie was drek.
Love the snark, but very inappropriate to body shame Patricia Arquette.
I think the show plans on missing people in the in memorandum. Then people talk about the show more, "Hey, they left out....". About 1/2 of the people on the screen I didn't recognize. Who REALLY in the public knows about publicists?
Skipping Abe Vigoda gave him more publicity, but skipping others (Mr. Lewis) is more of a slap. But hey, cant forget those script readers
The variation I've been using is, "In a related story, the Chicago Cubs announced they're boycotting the World Series."
Jacob Tremblay is the kid from ROOM, not THE ROOM. Cast members from THE ROOM would be unlikely to be invited to the Oscars.
The lecturing and haranguing is why I don’t bother with awards shows anymore. Gotta be honest, there’s no one whose opinion on politics and life I care about less than rich celebrities. Sorry, you don’t live in the same world the rest of us do and can’t even relate. Talk about entitled attitudes...
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