Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter: the celebration of bad candy

I don't quite get the correlation between Easter and sweets.   And I really don't get the correlation between Easter and really bad sweets. 

Those chocolate bunnies are uneatable.  They're made of wax.  And God knows the preservatives in those things.   My guess is the chocolate bunnies you buy today were made in 1967.   The warehouse is down to only ten more years worth. 

And why must everything have a marshmallow center?  Or be made of marshmallow?   If there's a religious connection I'm missing it.

How many yellow Peeps can you eat before getting sick?   For me it's two, although, if I'm being honest, I like the first one.   

Easter is not a holiday for people who can't tolerate sweets, are allergic to dye, like to sleep late on a Sunday, or hope to keep their teeth.

However you celebrate it, Happy Easter.  I'm going out for pizza. 


B.A. said...

Good drinking game: take a drink (or bong hit etc.) every time a character says "Moses, Moses, Moses!" during THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. They all exclaim it at various times, except maybe the Burning Bush.

MikeK.Pa. said...

"How many yellow Peeps can you eat before getting sick? For me it's two, although, if I'm being honest, I like the first one."

That's one more than I can eat. They're made about 60 miles up the turnpike from me.

In case you didn't feel like takeout for pizza, and want to do it yourself, I found a recipe - kind of an Easter pizza - just for you.

1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 c. butter, softened
1/2 c. peanut butter
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
1 1/2 c. Pillsbury Best all-purpose or unbleached flour
2 c. miniature marshmallows
6 oz. pkg. (1 c.) semi-sweet chocolate chips
Heat oven to 375 degrees. In large bowl, combine sugar, brown sugar, butter, peanut butter, vanilla and egg; blend well. Lightly spoon flour into measuring cup; level off. Stir in flour. Press dough evenly over bottom of 12 or 14 inch pizza pan, forming rim along edge.
Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Sprinkle with marshmallows and chocolate chips; continue to bake for 5-18 minutes or until marshmallows are puffy and lightly browned. Cool; cut into wedges. Store in tightly covered container. 20 servings.

Tip: Self-rising flour is not recommended.

Chris Muir said...

At the risk of being totally pedantic, high quality dark chocolate bunnies are available. Why pay less?

Cap'n Bob said...

Send me your chocolate bunnies. I'll eat them. Never was a Peeps fan, though. You forgot jelly beans. I love them, except for one that tastes horribly like coffee.

D. McEwan said...

I am an incurable chocaholic with a sweet tooth a mile wide (Which is why none of the teeth I have now actually grew in my mouth). But I have never even tasted, let alone eaten, a "Peep," and I have no desire ever to try them. Ew. Why are they successful.

What's the correlation between candy and Easter? Simple. The only reason Jesus came back was that there was no chocolate in the grave.

Klee said...

Should try Brazilan chocolate eggs, they're usually huge filled with chocolate truffles or some other type of chocolate bars. They're expensive though but kids love them. Here's a typical grocery store during Easter season. Just look at the ceiling. These are usually the medium size.

RCP said...

As a child I'd gnaw on anything made of sugar - including those big solid 'chocolate' bunnies that cost 99 cents at Woolworths. Jelly beans, speckled (malted milk) eggs and dark-chocolate-covered coconut eggs - all good. Never liked peeps or those weird oblong eggs with the hard day-glo shells and gluey white centers. Although I'm not religious, it still disturbs me to see chocolate crosses.

BluePedal said...

Robin Eggs Candy - yuck!

Not much more I can add to that...

Igor said...

Ken wrote: "I don't quite get the correlation between Easter and sweets."

And to that I say - Sweet Jesus.

The End

Brian Phillips said...


This has nothing to do with Easter, but looks who is guilty of a Sorkinism:

Pat Reeder said...

I gave my wife a Dove dark chocolate bunny. That's good eatin', as my Texan sister-in-law used to say about actual bunnies.

I bought some Peeps several years ago as a photo prop, but couldn't bring myself to eat them (here's a new reason not to put a Peep in your mouth: as a rescuer of birds, I find they look too much like actual chicks). I still have that package of Peeps in the cabinet, and I can't tell that they've aged a bit. I'm now just keeping them around as a science experiment to see which lasts longer, them or me.

Studio Briefing said...

Easter is likely the only time of year when you can buy spicy jelly beans at the drug store. I picked up four pounds of them at Rite Aid last week (they'll last me until next Easter) and noticed that there were no black ones in the bags. Years ago when I gave my daughter a handful of the spicy assortment, she'd invariably return the black ones. Well, I have a certain fondness for licorice, so I didn't mind, and I was kind of disappointed that Rite Aid had now eliminated them. (I figured that the company must have put together a focus group of kids, who agreed that black jelly beans are yucky.) So you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that the white jelly beans in the bags were licorice flavored. Will the kids notice? Oh, and just to top things off, for my birthday this week, my daughter gave me an entire one-pound bag of black jelly beans.