And now comes something new. And I'm almost embarrassed to write this.
Concierge firemen.
Things are still touch-and-go in certain areas in Southern California with regards to the recent horrific brush fires. The winds have died down and containment is more within the fire department's grasp, but there are still flare-ups. (Where's the Justice League when we need 'em?)
We've all seen footage of heroic homeowners who have ignored evacuation orders and stayed behind to vigilantly protect their homes. They're on their roofs with hoses. They're single-handedly slaying fire breathing dragons, risking their very lives in the process.
Well, now there's a better way it seems.
Concierge firemen.
Last week many residents of the chic LA neighborhood of Bel Air were forced to evacuate. It was a boon for luxury hotels in the area. But as everyone held their collective breath some of these wealthy residents breathed a little easier. Why? Because they had concierge firemen, freelancers hired to guard and battle blazes that might affect their homes specifically. I suppose in a town where there are dog psychiatrists, why not?
Still, it seems a little weird and uh... entitled to me. But my big fear is someone in Congress is going to hear of this and say, "instead of the government providing this service why don't we encourage people to hire their own firemen and we'll give them vouchers?" You laugh but today -- nothing would surprise me.
27 comments :
Concierge safety personnel?
Nothing new. How many gated communities have rent a cops that patrol? It will be the next big selling point, our own fire department.
Also, many businesses already have their own fire department, so the laws and regulations are already on the books to manage it.
You laugh but today -- nothing would surprise me.
That'll be the Ivanka Trump campaign promise in a few years.
In other news, Christopher Plummer has been nominated for a Golden Globe for All The Money in the World. Imagine being Spacey. Not only is your entire performance removed from the movie, but your replacement gets nominated for an award too! LOL! If you compare the trailers with the two of them, Spacey's performance looked stilted and affected, whereas even just the way Plummer says "Nothing" in his version is far more natural and powerful. I hope Plummer wins and gets an Oscar too as the icing on the cake!
Nope - yer right. Wouldn't surprise me.
It brings to mind the time on Jack Benny's show that he was robbed, grabbed the phone, and said, "Operator, get me the Beverly Hills police department!" Then came the great Benny pause, followed by, "What do you mean, it's an unlisted number?"
Yo Ken, another reaction video you might dig - DO COLLEGE KIDS KNOW 70s MUSIC? This will no doubt have some of the songs you played as a DJ in the 70s. Groovy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5XhtmhvCnk
And damn, that girl Madison is a honey!
Actually, that's pretty much the way things used to be. Complete with some very nice plaques that you could put on the front of the building to say that you were covered.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_insurance_mark
This article explains it in a bit more detail: https://qz.com/1151346/californias-wildfires-the-lifestyles-of-las-rich-and-famous-include-concierge-firefighters/
Why would it be that unusual to have private individuals who are hired by other private individuals to put out fires? Companies and individuals do the same thing for security all the time. That's why there are private investigators, private bodyguards, and private security forces. Probably the only reasons it hasn't extended to fire protection is because of (1) the relatively larger cost of maintaining a fire protection force, (2) the fact that fire protection is more naturally suited for numerous parties (because fires can spread across property), and (3) fires are less sporadic than other potential personal safety harms.
And once you accept that a service can be provided by the private marketplace, why wouldn't vouchers at least be on the table? I mean, that's what we do for food (food stamps for use at private stores) and housing (Section 8 vouchers for use at private housing), and, in some areas, schools (vouchers for use at private schools). Obviously there are supply/demand issues at work in any particular context, but the idea that a public service is provided by private actors and funded through government vouchers isn't that bizarre given precedent.
Why would it be that unusual to have private individuals who are hired by other private individuals to put out fires? Companies and individuals do the same thing for security all the time. That's why there are private investigators, private bodyguards, and private security forces. Probably the only reasons it hasn't extended to fire protection is because of (1) the relatively larger cost of maintaining a fire protection force, (2) the fact that fire protection is more naturally suited for numerous parties (because fires can spread across property), and (3) fires are less sporadic than other potential personal safety harms.
And once you accept that a service can be provided by the private marketplace, why wouldn't vouchers at least be on the table? I mean, that's what we do for food (food stamps for use at private stores) and housing (Section 8 vouchers for use at private housing), and, in some areas, schools (vouchers for use at private schools). Obviously there are supply/demand issues at work in any particular context, but the idea that a public service is provided by private actors and funded through government vouchers isn't that bizarre given precedent.
During the drought and water rationing, I saw lots of wealthy celebrities keeping their lawns in tiptop shape. If they have all this water, then having their own firefighters makes sense.
Bob Newhart did a classic routine on this subject years ago. Your house is on fire. You call a private fire company and they offer to send someone out to give you an estimate.
Of course, all members of Congress would get their own free department...
In the Canyon II fire, I almost lost my house and everything my family owns, but thank God, my wife and kids were safe. It's weird to have police cars drive on your block and have loudspeakers say to leave immediately. We had some things we had put aside from the Canyon I fire so we were better prepared, but we still forgot some family photos and videos and could not go back to get them.
If anyone saw the movie "Panic in Year Zero" with Ray Milland, the feeling of driving your loved ones away from a blood red sky until the smell goes out of the air is eerily similar. I was calling people to tell them where we were along the way but didn't know where to go until we got out of the scent. We eventually stayed at a motel north of the area (I think Ray did that too). We couldn't go back until the authorities said so, and a lot of our neighbors were in shelters like London during the Blitz. It's weird to watch the news and see houses that look like yours and wonder if one of them its yours, in flames.
You have to start thinking about life without your "stuff." In some ways, it simplifies things. George Carlin was soooo right. But beginning again is tough too. The on-again, off-again emotions are similar to knowing someone is in the hospital, but not knowing how they are.
Some people on my block and neighborhood were not as lucky as we turned out to be. Some houses were lost within a block or two of our house. A few homes were badly damaged only a few feet from us. When it is all said and done, and you're faced with losing your physical and your "stuff," you have to think about the reality of it, and how you're going to have start over.
But again, my family was safe. The ordeal was a kind of bizarre "family time" The TV news, in its earnest but melodramatic efforts, described all of us as "fleeing" from the fires, as if we were flapping our hands and screaming as Mothra descended upon us. That made us laugh, and we needed a laugh.
You can have all the schmancy pantsy fire boutiques that money can buy. All anyone really needs to save are the people you love. Aside from them, when you shut your door at the end of the day, you're only surrounded by a bunch of crap. Oh, it's wonderful crap, but tomorrow it can all be taken away from you with one breath from the Santa Ana winds.
Sadly, Ken, I wasn't laughing at all. A good number of political figures in this country think everything could and should be privatized (meaning 'for profit'). So I won't be surprised if at some time in the discernable future we go to privatized fire departments. Can't afford to pay the premium? Well, gee whiz, we hope your house doesn't catch on fire.
I found newsreel footage of the 1961 Bel Air fire, with Richard Nixon hosing down his roof. He saved the house--Zsa Zsa lost the one she got from Conrad Hilton.
That brings to mind this news story from 2013: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/justin-purcell-fire_n_4242734.html
Ken,
Your fears are fully justified. The NYT ran an excellent piece titled "When You Dial 911 and Wall Street Answers" last year. It outlines the problems when you privatise emergency services. The stories in this piece are nothing short of grotesque. You can find the article here:
www.nytimes.com/2016/06/26/business/dealbook/when-you-dial-911-and-wall-street-answers.html?_r=0
Actually, some insurance companies will send out private firefighters to protect a customer's home in the case of a widespread fire like this -- it's cheaper than rebuilding the house. I learned of this during the recent months of forest fires here in the Northwest. You should check your policy, Ken, or at least call your agent.
As noted earlier, people had to subscribe to fire protection in order to get it in the olden days. Firemen would watch a place burn if the owner didn't belong to their protection plan, or perhaps they could buy a policy on the spot at a slight markup.
But the point that Californians are screwy is nevertheless accurate.
I can easily see hiring supplementary personnel for personal protection, including property and fire, but I hate to think that they'd replace our tax-supported services. I assume that today's tax-supported services evolved owing to the inadequacies of these private schemes.
I've just had a flashback to 1961 - to The Bob Newhart Show.
I mean the first Newhart show, the sketch show that won a Peabody Award and an Emmy, but couldn't hold on to a sponsor.
Each week, Newhart would do what he called a "monodrama", which was usually one of his telephone monologs, with a mild amount of production attached (a basic set and props).
The spot was usually introduced by Dan Sorkin, the Chicago DJ who godfathered Newhart's career, and was rewarded with the job as the show's announcer.
On one of the early shows, Sorkin did the set-up with a serious pronouncement of the satirical premise - a privately owned fire department.
"Phil's Fires, Grady speaking ..."
Preposterous, right?
All it takes is time ...
Why no link to the concierge fireman story?
I googled it and nothing came up?
In fact, fire departments, like lending libraries and other cooperative community enterprises come to us courtesy of Philadelphia, Quakers, and maybe Ben Franklin, who claimed credit. Like insurance, it is a way of getting haves and have-nots in the same boat. The evil of libertarianism, adapted by modern republicanism into its platform and legislative initiatives is in promoting selfishness and the triumphalism of being well-off as a virtue. Selfish doesn't equal self-sufficient: Ayn Rand spent her dotage on government assistance in a subsized care center. Because she needed it after all. Private initiative is fine, so long as one continues to contribute to the common good.
>promoting selfishness and the triumphalism of being well-off as a virtue.
It's not about promoting selfishness as a virtue, but recognizing that people are greedy, and trying to make use of that for the public good instead of trying to wish it away.
Not, strictly speaking, "concierge," I think. It would be little use if they just lived down the hallway, like French concierges.
To add a little Euro perspective on this, I should point out that the most bewildering thing an over-the-pondie discovers about LA (and this is general middle class neighborhoods, not just Bel-Air) is that you lot seem to love having private "police" forces. It's not something I have ever experienced, anywhere else in America. Driving down a deserted street at midnight with a black-and-white behind you for no obvious reason is quite worrying, until you realise that the b&w in question is just a rent-a-dork.
I'd assume that concierge firemen are simply another manifestation of the same strange low level paranoia that the better-off LA residents seem to embrace. Hey, it boosts employment for blue collar types. Don't knock it!
A friend of mine said her sister owns a few rental houses in the fire zone. She has already lost one house, but her insurance company called her and said they were sending out some people to make sure the other two were 'protected' and will keep the fire at bay. Seriously?
Only in California.
Pam, St. Louis
You could have just stopped at the people prepared to die for their possessions. That’s crazy enough.
The private Firemen are a bleak preview of what’s to come if the world continues to slide in favour of the wealthy: Privatised public services. Private police. Private fire brigade. I hope you can afford them, because you don’t want to rely on the underfunded public ones to protect your family. Scary.
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