Remember when Linda shows up at Arthur’s engagement party and they go out to the stables? In this version after the party they go to the Plaza Hotel and end up here:
INT. HUGE ORNATE PLAZA HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
Linda and Arthur enter the room.
LINDA
(looking around) Look at this room! It’s not easy to feel cheap here.
Arthur sits on the bed.
ARTHUR
You want something to drink? Or eat?
LINDA
No.
She walks to the window and looks out.
LINDA
New York…
ARTHUR
You were expecting Pittsburgh?
LINDA
I feel like we’re a young couple from the Midwest on our first trip to New York.
ARTHUR
(lying back on the bed) Come here.
Linda goes to the bed and lies next to him. He puts his arm around her. They lie like that for a beat.
LINDA
What are we waiting for?
ARTHUR
The other girl will be here in a minute. You didn’t think this was just going to be you and me, did you? You’ll like her.
Linda laughs.
LINDA
Why do I feel so comfortable with you?
ARTHUR
Because we are that couple from the Midwest. And we’re very nice people.
He kisses her. Light at first. Then it quickly turns to passion.
ARTHUR
(breathing heavily) You’re a nice girl… but you don’t turn me on physically.
LINDA
You’re not going to marry that girl. And you know it.
Arthur kisses her again.
ARTHUR
Let’s not talk anymore. Okay?
Linda starts to unbutton Arthur’s shirt. She kisses his chest. They are both very excited.
LINDA
(while kissing his chest) I know you’re not going to marry her.
ARTHUR
She’s talking. Linda… let’s not talk.
He rolls over and kisses her again. After the kiss:
LINDA
Let’s talk for a second…
ARTHUR
I’m having sex here! Do you mind?
LINDA
Why would you marry a woman you don’t love?
ARTHUR
I have to. Can I help you with that zipper?
LINDA
What do you mean… you have to?
ARTHUR
Linda… there’s not a shower in the world cold enough to fix what’s going on here. Now… could we talk about this later?
LINDA
Just tell me what you mean… you have to?
ARTHUR
My family is forcing me to marry her.
LINDA
You asshole! Nobody gets married like that! That hasn’t happened since 1850!
ARTHUR
They’ll cut me off if I don’t! Without a cent!
LINDA
So? You’ll get a job like everybody else. How much money is it?
ARTHUR
250 million dollars.
LINDA
Try it with her for a few years. Maybe it’ll work out.
ARTHUR
Linda… you see this suite? I have to be in suites like this.
LINDA
Why?
ARTHUR
Because… that’s who I am. I’m Arthur Bach. I’ve got nothing but the money. I don’t know who I am without it.
LINDA
You’re not Winston Churchill… I’ll tell you that.
ARTHUR
(touching her face) It took me years… all my life… to find you. Just don’t compete with the money. The money is like my arm. It comes with me.
LINDA
We’re not that nice young couple from the Midwest, are we? I’ll get a cab.
Linda crosses to the door. Arthur sits on the bed. She stops.
LINDA
You can’t have everything, Arthur. If you get the potato you don’t get a vegetable.
ARTHUR
Would you turn down this money?
LINDA
Are you crazy? Of course not! I steal ties for Christ sakes! But when you look for a mistress… make it a mistress! She should speak French and give back rubs. Don’t come to me. I want to get married. What do I know about being a mistress? You’d get me an apartment and I’d want to know if it’s near a good school.
ARTHUR
Goodbye, Linda.
LINDA
Don’t pout. You’re lovely. I’ll remember you the rest of my life.
Linda exits. Arthur goes to the bar and pours a drink.
13 comments :
Extremely funny, character-driven, advances the plot. A+
I noticed that in this scene(draft) the amount of money involved is 250 million. The film mentions 750 million. Today is Billy Wilder's birthday. I looked up to see who else has a June 22nd birthday. Meryl Streep. And Howard Kaylan, who wrote the nice blurb for The Me Generation...by Me.
Just amazing. A joy to read!
I like this one better than the previous scene. But I'm still not laughing.
M.B.
An additional thought about today's post: Steve Gordon's untimely death not only deprived us of a wonderful writer we also lost a director with great potential. A screenplay of 147 pages translates to about a 2 1/2 hour movie. ARTHUR is about 90-100 minutes. Someone directing their own screenplay would be tempted to keep everything. Gordon,the director-was tough on his own screenplay. He was more Preston Sturges than Judd Apatow.
Great read. Thanks Ken.
This romantic comedy screenwriter is jealous...though I can learn from such mastery of the genre, just as I do from Robert Riskin, Norman Krasna and other legends.
Glad they cut it. I wouldn't like seeing Dudley Moore turned on and in bed. No one would really.
Sean
No question the humor is smart and well done.
I just couldn't get past the tragedy of these desperate people.
I can see why it was excised, but damn, Steve Gordon had such an immense gift!
Love that this and the other piece you posted, displays how things can always be tightened and moved to make the work sharper. As Danny Simon, Neil's older brother and mentor would say, "You've got to be ruthless! You must have no ruth!"
Ken, Warner Archive announced today that they're releasing Steve Gordon's 1976 series THE PRACTICE on DVD on July 16. It's available for pre-order.
https://www.wbshop.com/products/the-practice-the-complete-series-mod
Wow. Thanks for reminding me what a gem that movie is, Ken.
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