The key to sitcom syndication success

Here is my theory based on no evidence whatsoever (not that evidence counts for anything these days). It was formed purely on observation, deduction, and taking a wild stab in the dark.  So, in other words, it's absolutely valid. 

Why are some sitcoms big hits in syndication while others aren’t? And just because a sitcom is a big hit on a network does not necessarily mean that will translate to syndication. Likewise, certain sitcoms that got meh ratings originally do gangbusters in future runs. 

A recent example of that is LAST MAN STANDING. On ABC the show has done respectably on Friday nights. Nothing to write home about but good enough on a forgotten night of television that it keeps getting renewed. But this year in syndication that show is a SMASH. It’s getting sensational numbers. Way better than expected. Way way better than some bigger primetime hits like MODERN FAMILY.

MODERN FAMILY has not fared well in syndication (despite its ratings, accolades, Emmys). USA was hoping to build a comedy line-up around it, but MODERN FAMILY under-performed to where USA scrapped all plans for original comedy whatsoever. I know this for a fact. I had a pilot in contention that was suddenly dead along with all the other pilots they had in development at the time.

So why is LAST MAN STANDING so much more successful than MODERN FAMILY? And why is BIG BANG THEORY still a powerhouse? And EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND? Why was WINGS a middling performer for NBC but a juggernaut for USA? Why does GOLDEN GIRLS continue to outperform most comedies that came after? And why does FRIENDS continue to be a ratings monster around the world?

Disclaimer: Like with every theory you can find exceptions. I realize that. MASH would be an exception for example. I say that because if I didn’t the comment section would be flooded with people listing exceptions. I’m making a general point here.

A common denominator among these successful shows is that they’re multi-camera, but that’s not the answer. I think a primary reason they do so well is that you don’t have to watch them.

You just have to listen.

Multi-camera shows are way easier to follow if you’re multi-tasking. How many people put the TV on and then just go about their business? You’re making dinner, you’re folding laundry, checking your email, getting ready for bed. The TV is keeping you company and multi-camera shows are great companions. They make you laugh, they’re not dependent on you seeing what’s going one, and the dialogue is enough. You know what Leonard & Sheldon’s apartment looks like, you can picture Central Perk. On MODERN FAMILY you need to pay more attention. The stories bounce around, there are visual gags, subtle gags that require seeing characters’ reactions. Sure there are those elements in multi-camera shows but they’re not as integral.

And dialogue jokes play better for casual viewing. Dialogue jokes drive multi-cams because they’re playing to live audiences. James Burrows always maintained that CHEERS was a radio play. You could enjoy it just as much by listening to it.

There’s a comfort level in general to sitcoms. Multi-cams add to that comfort by making them easy to follow. And I’ve found that if you have a show with lots of jokes, fans will watch reruns, even if they’ve already seen the episodes. Maybe they missed a few jokes the first time, or something they thought was funny before tickles them again.

Yes, multi-cams, especially family multi-cams are not sexy and cutting edge. They’re usually ignored by award shows and ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. But believe me, networks and studios have taken note, and they’d gladly trade a boatload of Emmys for one LAST MAN STANDING.

They’re listening.

Jessica Harper is a great sport

This is a re-post of an article from six years ago.  But it also has a GREAT payoff.   And it's a pretty funny story.  So it's worth sharing again.  Enjoy.

In early 1975 I was writing spec scripts with my partner, David Isaacs, trying desperately to break into the business. At the time we were going nowhere fast. The spec RHODA we had submitted was rejected. Then the producer left and we re-submitted it. And the new producer rejected it. (That new producer is now my next-door neighbor. I just keep re-submitting it.)

Anyway, on the way to lunch I need to stop at the bank. I probably bounced a check. I go to the back of a long line and notice that the person directly in front of me is Jessica Harper. Ms. Harper is a fine actress and at the time was very hot. She had appeared in LOVE AND DEATH for Woody Allen and had starred in the cult feature PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE among other credits.

Oh, did I mention I had a HUGE crush on her?  

So I begin talking to her. She’s very nice. I’m asking about working with Woody Allen, her career, anything to keep the conversation rolling. All the while we slowly inch forward in line. When she is finally at the front I decide to do something I never ever do. If you know me you know this is true.

I ask her out. Right there in the bank.

She very graciously declines. A teller is free, she dashes off, and that was that.

I get back in the car and relate the story to David. He of course, gives me shit for fifteen minutes. “You did WHAT?!” Finally, I say, “Someday we’re going to be big producers casting a pilot and Jessica Harper is going to walk into our office and read for us. And then she’ll be sorry.” We laugh, go back to my apartment, and continue working on a spec that will soon be rejected all over town.  Jessica goes off and stars in another Woody Allen movie and one with Steve Martin. 

Flash forward to 1993. David and I have a pilot for CBS, BIG WAVE DAVE’S and we’re casting. Who walks into our office?

Yep.

Jessica has no idea why we both seem to be beaming the minute she enters the room. Her audition goes well. She’s a terrific actress. She wasn’t totally right for the part but she still gave a great reading.

I’m on the fence about telling her the story. On the one hand, she might be a great sport and find it amusing. On the other, if we don’t hire her maybe she’ll think it’s because of the bank and we’re the most unprofessional spiteful assholes in Hollywood. So we say nothing. I’m sure if Jessica reads this or someone points her to this post it will be the first she’s heard of it. And I guarantee you she has no recollection of the bank encounter. Ten minutes of her life with some schmuck in a line.

But it’s still one of those delicious career moments. And for the record, I still have a crush on Jessica Harper and would be thrilled to work with her. She’s now a blogger and an author as well as an actress and the least I can do is plug her books, which you can find here.

Okay, that's part one of the story.  Here's part two:  SHE RESPONDED.  

 That is one fabulous story!
I would be lying if I said I remember the bank part (I DO remember the script) but I'm sure you were a perfect gentleman or I would have cut that conversation short!...and you were very gracious about the audition...these qualities make you a rare and compelling person in Hollywood!
Thanks for your kind words, and for sharing my link with the world. Hmmmm....wonder where we'd be today if I HAD gone out with you...? Food for thought...!
All the best Ken!
Jessica

Thanks, Jessica.  You are a sweetheart. 

Overwriting and why you shouldn't say more than you need to especially if there's no reason for it

When reading a spec, one of the most common traps I see young writers falling into is overwriting.  When I receive a spec the first thing I always do is check its length. If I get a hernia lifting it, that’s not good. A comedy screenplay should be no more than 120 pages and that’s stretching it. Sitcoms vary depending on the rhythm and format of the show. But if you write a spec MODERN FAMILY and it’s 55 pages I can tell you sight unseen it will be unseen. 

The only thing worse than a TV script or screenplay that’s overwritten is a stage play. Plays have no length requirement so the playwright has free rein to torture us long into next month. When a two character piece about what to pack for a vacation is longer than NICHOLAS NICKLEBY that should be a clue.

And then there’s the dialogue.

This may sound obvious but worth stating anyway: Always remember that actors have to perform your script.

Soooo many times I’ll see full page speeches with sentences so long and complicated that no human being on earth could ever deliver them. And certainly not in one breath. Read your script out loud. If you need CPR by the end of a speech, rethink. Dialogue has to sound natural, conversational. And rarely do we speak in big whoppin’ speeches.

When writing a TV spec, writers often go overboard on character quirks. They’ll hear Frasier utter something a little flowery and think that every word out of his mouth has to be Noel Coward. In fairness, shows themselves get caught up in that trap. On MASH the tendency to give every line a spin evolved into absurdity. In a later season (after I had left the series) Potter once said to Klinger, “It was curiosity that KO’d the feline.” WTF?? Who would ever say that? And why?

There is a tendency to want to impress by working in all kinds of complex themes and philosophies – show how you’re the next Paddy Chayefsky. In truth, it’s your inexperience not intellect that’s being put on display. If long intricate theories and complicated Byzantine ideas are your cup of tea, write a book.

More often than not these long speeches have characters express in detail their emotions and attitudes. Not only is it taxing to listen to this balloon juice it also gives the actor nothing to play. Might as well go on to the next scene. Sometimes a look or a gesture can say volumes more a two page speech that James Joyce would find too convoluted.

Whenever my partner, David and I go back to polish a draft we thin out the big speeches. If the speech is 14 lines we make it 11, if it’s 11 lines we make it 9. There are ALWAYS trims.

Same is true in stage direction. A reader sees a big block of stage direction I GUARANTEE he will not read it. You could describe a sex act in detail and he’ll flip the page.

As a rule it’s better to underwrite than overwrite. We have an expression. We like “open pages”. Much more white than type. This may sound obvious too but: You don’t get paid by the word.

Go back through your script. I bet you could lose two pages.  Writer/blogger extraordinaire Earl Pomerantz always maintained that you could lose page 8 from any script.  He's right!

Friday Questions

Are you ready for the return of (a) Daylight Savings and (b) Friday Questions?

Matt starts us off:

Have you ever written for a sketch comedy show? Is this type of writing different?

Yes. My partner, David Isaacs and I wrote sketches for THE TRACEY ULLMAN SHOW on Fox. It was great fun. The trick was finding a good ending. The problem with most sketches is that have funny premises but the writers don’t know how to get out of them.

A couple of the sketches we wrote for Tracey were musicals. In one case, Paula Abdul choreographed a dance number from one of them.

What helped in our case was that Tracey and her supporting players were all terrific and versatile.   Any character we envisioned they could do.  Tracey had several established characters so that made those sketches easier because we could picture her doing it and could imagine her voice.

I imagine the writers of SNL are having a ball these days.  

From Michael:

You've mentioned being fired from several radio jobs. Did they ever let you back on-the-air after firing you? If so, did you ever do/say something memorable?

I was fired from TenQ in Los Angeles. I had been on the air doing Saturday nights for a year, but then a new program director came in and well, you know that drill. He lasted six months. His replacement (who came from out of town) was a big fan and called to see whether I’d consider doing a show on the weekends. He didn’t realize I had already been there. I was happy to return. When I signed on for my first show back I opened with “So as I was saying…”

I then did a talk show on KABC in 1981 and was fired for Maureen Reagan (who was president Reagan’s daughter). Hard to argue with that. Then in 2008 I returned to host Dodger Talk. Fortunately, Obama’s kids were little.

Paul wonders:

I was lucky enough to attend a Cheers filming and have always had a question about the set design -- the episode I attended had several scenes in Sam's office and each time the action shifted in there, they stopped filming, unfolded the set (yes, very cool to watch), shot the scene in the office, then stopped and folded it back up. The question: why not have Sam's office designed back in the pool room, which would have eliminated the need for that time-consuming folding and unfolding? Was there a thought that the office would be rarely used and the pool room would see more action? Or did they need to leave room in the studio for those occasional swing sets? Or is there no reason?

Putting the office where it was was the most efficient use of space on the stage. And anytime you switched from one set to the other there was going to be a time gap since the cameras had to move and re-set. The process of swinging the walls and bar took only a couple of minutes. We had an Indy 500-type pit crew.

And this way we could shoot right down the hallway from the bar to the poolroom, which was a very cool shot and added great depth to the set. Putting Sam’s office over there would eliminate that shot and necessitate that the pool room be smaller.

And finally, from Mark:

You mentioned the difficulty of filming outside for MASH once Fall and Winter set in. Why not have fifteen or twenty scripts ready and then do all the outside filming for all of them before moving to the set and doing all the inside stuff.

Each script required weeks of work to prepare. From idea to breaking the story, to the outline, and all the many drafts. Meanwhile, once we went into production we were filming episodes in four days. Our lead time got swallowed up in short order.

To have 20 scripts ready to go before production began would have required at least a full year of pre-production. We didn’t have that time. We only had a few months.

I like to think we were extremely organized and we had maybe eight scripts ready to go when production began. But the rest of the time we were scrambling to stay ahead of the production schedule. And by the last few shows it was reeeeeeeally tight.

Also, I think it would drive the actors insane to be shooting multiple shows at once. They’d have no idea what they were playing. It would be a confusing mess – not to mention an absolute nightmare for continuity trying to match clothes, where extras were, etc.

Single-camera comedies generally make 22 episodes between the end of July and the end of March. We made 25 episodes a season between July 4th and Christmas. I’d say we cranked them out at a pretty good rate. And first and foremost, we tried to make sure the writing was the absolute best it could possibly be. That takes time even if we didn’t have it.

What's your Friday Question?  

The making of FRIENDS

Okay, my new podcast episode is up.  Last night there was some snafu with the server and they posted the wrong podcast.  Either that I morphed into two women.  But it's up now and simple click above on the big gold arrow and you can listen.

Or you can click here to listen to all the podcasts and subscribe. 

It's one of my better shows, thanks to Jeff Greenstein.  He was one of the writer/producers of FRIENDS from the pilot through its first year, and he's got some great stories on alternate casting, network interference, alternate titles, testing, and the usual crap that goes on when making a pilot, even one as terrific as theirs.   I bet there's lots of stuff you didn't know.

So check it out and please subscribe.   There's other fun stuff in there too, like how my writing partner and I couldn't get a pilot on ABC if we were Michael Eisner.

And now back to today's regularly scheduled blog post. 

Casting decisions -- good and bad

Here are some Friday questions by reader Jim S. following a recent piece on casting.  I thought it would make a good stand-alone post.

How did you learn how to do it? What was the best bit of casting you did? The worst?

There’s no way to “learn” how to cast. It’s just a matter of judgment. You do have to develop a sense of putting an actor’s reading in perspective however. Sometimes great actors give lousy auditions and other times mediocre actors shine in auditions. You try to see through that. It's not easy. 

I don’t buy the notion that you should excuse an actor for being nervous. If he’s nervous now imagine how he’ll be in front of a camera or camera and studio audience.

But when an actor gives a tepid reading you have to determine if that’s the best he can do, or if it’s worth giving him an adjustment and letting him do it again? I’m always open to that. I just don’t want to miss someone because I was too hasty in dismissing them. You get a feel for that over time.

It's tough for actors because they they're shooting at a moving target.  They get their sides (their scene to read) and try to determine from those few pages just who this character is and how he should be played.  Sometimes they'll read and you like a certain quality the actor brings but he was off-the-mark.  You then give them an adjustment and sometimes they'll hit the bullseye.  I always think it's a good idea for actors to ask the producers before their reading if there's anything they should know, or any particular way they see this character.

But even then you have to be open.  You may see a character one way and an actor comes in who is not at all what you pictured but gives a really fascinating reading.  You have to be willing to consider the possibility that this new way to go is better than what you envisioned. 

As a producer, I try to make actors as comfortable as I can when they come in to read. I want them to do well. It’s in everybody’s best interest. I don’t understand producers who just sit behind desks scowling. But I don’t think I “learned” that. That’s just common sense to me.

Best casting? I guess Tom Hanks and John Candy in VOLUNTEERS. Nancy Travis was pretty inspired for ALMOST PERFECT. And both John Astin and Katey Sagal for THE MARY SHOW.

I’m not going to say who the worst was because I don’t want to embarrass anybody. But there have been times when I’ve had to fire actors, and in a few cases it was because I was way off-base in hiring them for that part in the first place. Like I keep saying, casting is an inexact science.

Were you ever forced to take someone that turned out to be great? Terrible?

On AfterMASH the network insisted we take Wendy Girard and she was fabulous.

Again, I don’t want to name names but a network forced us to take a certain actor to star in a pilot and he was terrible. He pretty much killed the entire project.

So it happens either way.

Did you ever consult with your wife? Your rabbi, your bowling buddies?

Not really. Unless an actor is on tape, my rabbi, wife, etc. doesn’t have the chance to see them. I may run a name or two by them to get their reaction, but generally I have to rely on my partner or the other people in the room who saw the reading.  My bowling buddies don't know shit. 

Trust me, there are many times I just don’t know and I really appreciate the feedback from others whom I trust. Having a good casting director also helps a lot. I’ve been very fortunate to have worked with some of the best. A shout out thanks to Sheila Guthrie, Jeff Greenberg, Sally Stiner, Barbie Bloch, Steve Kolzak, Molly Lopata, Sandi Logan, and Michael Donovan.

What's your Friday Question regardless of what day it is?

GOOD shows

I love that there are so many scripted shows on television these days. More work for writers. But there are downsides. One is that all of these shows require titles and eventually they start overlapping. It’s not enough that no one can keep straight which platform these shows are on and what their timeslots are (if they indeed even have timeslots), now we can’t even identify them.

One case in point is the number of shows that begin with GOOD.

THE GOOD PLACE
GOOD BEHAVIOR

And now that THE GOOD WIFE is over, its spinoff has arrived.

THE GOOD FIGHT

An ABC pilot being produced is called…

THE GOOD DOCTOR

And God forbid you check the listings and the following recent movies and series are scheduled…

GOOD PEOPLE
GOOD INTENTIONS
GOOD GUYS
GOOD GIRLS REVOLT
GOOD LUCK CHARLIE
GOOD LUCK CHUCK
GOOD TIMES
THE GOOD WITCH

What can I say except good grief (Charlie Brown)?

I worry that any future spin offs will begin with BETTER and three years from now I’m writing this same post.

On an unrelated note:  late tonight my new podcast episode arrives.  Among the topics:  the making of FRIENDS.   Lots of tidbits you probably didn't know. 

FEUD: BETTE AND JOAN -- My review

Make no mistake – I love a good Hollywood catfight as much as anybody. The bitchier the better. And if it’s a little camp, hey, that’s okay too. You can talk about your “Thrilla in Manilla” but take two over-the-hill Hollywood legends whose heyday was back when stars meant something more than contestants on a dance reality show, put ‘em in furs, give ‘em sharp claws, get ‘em both plastered, and you have the makings for a battle royale.

So I went into FEUD: BETTE AND JOAN with high expectations. (It premiered Sunday night on FX.)   Plus, it was produced by Ryan Murphy who knows a thing or two about sensationalizing showbiz cheese. The stars are Susan Sarandon at Bette Davis (complete with the requisite Bette Davis eyes) and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford with the thick signature eyebrows that could only mean Joan Crawford or Jack Elam. Both women were terrific although Joan Crawford without wire hangers is like Traci Lords with clothes.

I’d say that Susan was better than Jessica but that might start another feud.

The mini-series (or anthology or limited series or variety special or whatever they call it to maximize Emmy chances) depicts the true story of when Bette and Joan were in such sad career straits that they decided to bury the hatchet (in each other’s back) and finally do a movie together, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? The fact that these two divas hated each other from the days of silent pictures made their collaboration that much more of a powder keg. And the film itself was a schlock black-and-white horror film, geared less for Imax and more for the local Drive-In. (Ironically, the movie became a big hit. It played very well to backseats.)

So you’d figure that FEUD would be loaded with fireworks. Well, as of the pilot, they were still unlit. Maybe things pick up, but I found the first episode to be long and quite frankly, dull. There was nothing in the maiden voyage that was particularly startling or delicious. They resented each other, they respected each other, they were trying to be on their best behavior because they both needed this movie to work. We got that from the :30 second promo. 

Where’s the hair pulling? Where’s the drink spiking? Where’s the paid assassins? Joan buys ties for members of the crew so they’ll light her more favorably. Bette wears ghoulish make-up that upstages Joan. Big yawn.

So far the feud is not mean enough, not fun enough, not camp enough, not compelling enough. It’s also not lavish enough. Very few extras. There was a scene during a Golden Globes award ceremony and it looked like there were four tables. Since when did they hold the Golden Globes at Leonard's of Great Neck?  I think the most money spent on the production so far was on Hedda Hopper’s hats (which looked like a condor died on her head). Judy Davis was terrific as Hedda, by the by. And maybe my favorite character was Joan’s Nazi German personal assistant, who she called “mamacita.”

I’ll give it another try, but if I don’t call out “MEOW!” at least twice I’m gone. What did you guys think?

The trial of the Oscar snafu

Okay, so two employees of Price-Waterhouse goofed up and handed a celebrity the wrong envelope at the Oscars. Since then they’ve been outed and dragged through the press and social media. There have even been death threats. I’m not going to mention their two names. They’ve been singled out enough. But I thought to myself, what if some idiot tried to actually carry it out. For purposes of this blog and the hope that some sanity in the world still exits, he failed, but is now on trial for Attempted Murder.   Imagine being the attorney defending that moron.

ATTORNEY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Attempted Murder is a serious charge, even in the south. For one to take another person’s life, there are precious few reasons why any God fearing individual can justify it. Not just because of our laws of the land but the Ten Commandments. “Thou shalt not kill.” I don’t know if it’s the first commandment but it’s sure in the top five. Way above “don’t covet thy nanny or neighbor’s wife,” I know that.

So for me to stand before you today and ask you to empathize and even forgive such unspeakable behavior, I darn well better have a good reason. And I do. A reason that I believe any reasonable human being would understand and accept.

The Price-Waterhouse employee did something so heinous, no unconscionable, so potentially destructive to society as we know it and imagine it in the future that any rational intelligent human being would have to question whether said employee deserved to live.

For this wasn’t just running over six people in a crosswalk or forgetting to screw in a bolt which resulted in a manned rocket exploding. Oh no, this was way worse.

The alleged victim recklessly and carelessly and without any thought to the irreparable damage he would do to the world as we know it – handed Warren Beatty the wrong envelope at the 2017 Oscars. The result was apocalyptic, if I may downplay it. Before literally millions and figuratively billions of people around the globe the wrong movie was named for Best Picture of the Year.

I remind the jury of the immediate aftermath. National treasure Warren Beatty was made to appear foolish. America’s Sweetheart Faye Dunaway was duped into announcing the wrong name. Host Jimmy Kimmel was unable to get big laughs on his saver jokes. Wives were thanked who had no business being thanked. People with headsets were actually on camera. Viewers who filled out their Oscar pools in ink now had messy forms. The Academy of Arts & Science, an organization so protective of its image that it once hired Seth MacFarlane to host the Oscars, was embarrassed. There were snarky tweets and derisive comments from bloggers. The booth announcer gave the wrong statistics.  Need I go on?  I'll stop so you can sleep at night. 

This was such an egregious error that people were talking about it the next day. And remember, it was on after midnight in the east when most people were asleep already.

I think it’s safe to say that the snafu set the entire world off-kilter. This was the Best Picture award, not just Best Make-Up. Viewers develop strong attachments to these films, they live and die based on what awards they receive.  Their entire self-worth is wrapped up in their box office receipts.  What happened was a personal affront to billions if not millions of moviegoers. One can already see a permeating national depression. Sales of anti-depressants are way up, more people are starting therapy – what else could possibly cause this other than confusion over an Academy Award announcement?

So ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to reconsider, even those of you who are in the MOONLIGHT camp and resent that your producers didn’t have more time to thank their wives, I ask you to put everything in perspective, see the big picture, and find my client not guilty. Or if he is guilty, give the judge the wrong envelope. Thank you.

The dumbest new series on the web

It's called CHIC MAMA CARPOOL and it is ten minutes of absolute prattle, self-promotion, and preciousness.  Get beauty tips from MILF's.   It's one thing for James Corden to get Adele to sing in his car; it's another to get Jordana Brewster to tell you which gel she puts under her eyes.  I think it's time to go back to the test pattern when there's nothing worthwhile to watch.   Here is CHIC MAMA CARPOOL.  Count the number of times they say "like."

Radio Daze

Here’s another tale from my colorful yet brief radio career.

Among the many things missing in radio today are pranks. Back when there were live local broadcasters and actual competition between stations (one company didn’t own them all), a by-product was one-ups-manship. I was involved in one stunt during my first job.

I was a sports intern at KMPC in Los Angeles. They were the big full-service station in town. Their disc jockeys were national celebrities like Gary Owens, Wink Martindale, and Jim Lange. They carried the Rams, Angels, and UCLA Bruins. And they had helicopters and mobile units. I think their local news department was larger than CNN’s is now.  The studios were essentially in the White House.

It was the summer of 1970. I worked Monday through Friday from 6 AM – 3 PM. (Yes, the hours were long but they were paying me minimum wage.) I wrote sports reports, made coffee, and emptied ashtrays.

Meanwhile, their competitor was KGIL in the San Fernando Valley. Their signal was nothing compared to KMPC’s. If they had a helicopter it was made by Hasbro. Their "skywatch" was probably a guy on a mountain top with binoculars.  But their morning man was brilliant. Sweet Dick Whittington was (and is) one of the funniest, most inventive radio personalities I have ever heard. I was a huge fan. We had met on a couple of occasions. Okay, so that’s the backstory.

Sweet Dick

I’m at my desk. It’s about 7:45 in the morning and my phone rings. It’s some goofball who says he’s the singing newsman from some station in Denver and wonders if there are any openings at KMPC. I tell him I didn’t think so. He asks if he could audition for me. This sounds strange to me but I say okay. Who doesn't like to be serenaded about a bus plunge?  He begins singing some news story. I figure it out. It’s Whittington using a phony voice. I assume he's on the air live. I let him finish, tell him he’s great. Then I say, “Y’know, I’m frustrated that I’m not on the air. I have a pretty good singing voice. Could I audition for you?” He’s a little thrown but says okay. I then sing the KMPC jingle. There’s a pause and he says, “You’re a rotten kid!” and hangs up.

I was right.  This bit went out on the air live, my singing KMPC’s jingle included.

So I go the rest of the morning feeling pretty good about myself. Word gets around the station and a few salesmen and other employees stop in the newsroom to congratulate me.

At around noon, Stan Spero, the General Manager comes in. He asks if I was the one who pulled that stunt on KGIL? Yes, I say proudly. He tells me there’s someone who wants to speak to me. Now Stan Warwick, the General Manager of KGIL enters the room. What the fuck is he doing there? Warwick is clearly pissed. He begins grilling me. “Did I think it was funny to embarrass his station?” “Is this how I conduct myself as a professional?” Needless to say, I’m sweating buckets. I look to my GM for support. He’s just glaring at me. Fun is fun but apparently I had crossed a line.

Just at the point I was ready to hang myself with a teletype ribbon they both break up laughing. I had been punked. Orchestrated of course, by Dick Whittington. The two general managers were friends and had planned on getting together for lunch that day anyway. Both appreciated a good radio prank and appreciated even more getting back at the prankster.

Dick Whittington is one of my favorite people in the world. But I hope he’s sleeping with one eye open. Because it’s my turn.

Oh say can you STOP?!

Spring training has begun.   Play ball!

I spent years calling baseball games. That meant that every night I was treated to a different version of the National Anthem. I think I speak for the hundreds of millions of Americans who attend sporting events each year when I say to the performers…

The National Anthem is not a five-minute blues number.

It is not a Mariah Carey overwrought teen power ballad complete with runs and riffs and “yeahs” inserted in the middle. Whitney did it. You will never top it. Don’t try.

The National Anthem is not a song that needs a “hook”. Or your own “personal signature”.

It is not a sultry torch song. Do not use it to impress the chicks. The Star Spangled Banner is not catnip for horny women.

It is not opera. If you need to wear a Viking helmet to get in the mood, rethink.

Nor is it the Grand Ole Opry. Does Yankee Stadium look like a barn dance to you?

Yo! The National Anthem is also not a hip-hop jam. Do not sample “Happy Together” in the middle of it. Do not shout out “Clap your hands, y’all!” when you’re near the end.

It is not meant to be whistled, beat boxed, played on spoons, washboards, ukuleles, kazoos, or sung in Klingon.

The Rat Pack is dead. So should be all versions of the Star Spangled Banner that swing. Francis Scott Key did not envision finger popping and nowhere is the word “kookoo” in the lyrics.

And speaking of the lyrics – LEARN THEM. It’s “perilous fight” not “perilous night”, not “perilous flight”, not “perilous twilights bursting in air”.

The song has an actual melody. Just come close to it…even occasionally. That’s all I ask.

And finally, stop Stop STOP STOP trying to hold the last few notes forever. You’re not stirring. You’re a car alarm that won’t turn off.

The National Anthem is arguably one of the hardest songs to perform. But done well it’s also one of the most powerful. Just sing the friggin’ song.

And let us get on to “play ball!”.

Viola Davis' acceptance speech

Lots of debate in my comments section on Viola Davis' acceptance speech.  Here it is along with a link to my podcast where you can hear exactly what I said (plus the rest of my snarky review.) 

And here's a link to the podcast.   Or you can just click on the podcast above.

So what do you think? Yay or nay on the speech?

Friday Questions

Thus begins the March of Friday Questions.

Edward begins.

Is your IMDb profile and/or production credits accurate? Do you care? Do you check? Have you made corrections?

It’s way incomplete. Lots of credits are left off and for some reason they have me as one of the writers of a Richard Pryor movie. But that’s better than it was.

At one time they had me as the location manager for JURASSIC PARK and (believe it or not) the dialogue coach for FLIPPER.

I haven’t corrected anything. I think my daughter Annie did go in and clean up some stuff.

If she goes back in again I want her to make sure to include the episode of BRAM & ALICE I co-wrote.

Richard Pride has a question regarding the CHEERS set.

Wasn't Frasier filmed on the same set? Can you describe that set in relation to the Cheers set? Where was Frasier's apartment, radio station booth etc?

Yes, FRASIER was filmed on Stage 25 at Paramount. Here’s the way it was laid out:

If you were sitting in the audience – on the far left was the radio station (modeled originally after KABC, Los Angeles). The apartment was in the center. Designed by Roy Christopher, I think that was one of the greatest sets in TV history. And to the far right swing sets were erected. Those are sets that change from week to week. One week there could be a wine club, the next a restaurant, etc. It was harder for the audience to see, but monitors were situated above their heads for easier viewing.

Now what about Café Nervosa? Interestingly, there were two Café Nervosa sets. If there wasn’t a large swing set (say a ballroom or ski lodge) a larger Café Nervosa set was placed between the apartment and the non-permanent set. It’s the one you see most weeks. But if there was a swing set that required more space a smaller version of the Café was utilized. It’s as if Frasier took a table near the back so you don’t see a lot of depth and extras. That’s why when they used the larger set they usually placed Frasier at a downstage table so you could see all the activity behind him.

From Gary Bainbridge:

Ken, a Vulture article about the writers' room on Girls talks about the quiet and intimidating writers' room on Frasier. How did the Frasier room compare with others with which you've been involved?

Well let me first say that magic came out of the FRASIER writing room so you can’t knock success. Most of the rooms I’ve been in were a little raucous. And rated X. Actually, loud boisterous rooms are more intimidating than the quiet thoughtful FRASIER rooms. Try getting in your joke when six Mel Brooks are firing in lines all at once.

The Vulture article depicts the GIRLS room as more of a therapy session, where the writers reveal their deepest darkest secrets and fears in order to create stories that were emotionally raw and honest. I was in one room like that, for the show SIBS, produced by Jim Brooks. I found it enlightening, stimulating, and often really creepy. You talk about “too much information.” I learned things about my co-writers that were way too private and intimate. And I even revealed to them that I still talk up to vocals to records when I’m alone in the car. Now I can't face them.

Rick Wiedmayer wonders:

When actors, directors, writers etc get paid residuals for their work, do their agents also get a percentage of this payment?

No. Not a dime.

And finally, from Dave Bittner:

I wonder if you ever crossed paths during your radio career with Johnny Holliday, former DJ and current sports broadcaster for the University of Maryland?

Yes. Numerous times. We have a lot in common. Johnny Holliday was a Top 40 DJ who transitioned into sports play-by-play. Ironically, both of us were jocks at one time on KYA in San Francisco (although years apart).

Another similarity, we both ended up in the Washington/Baltimore area. I called games for the Orioles at one time and he’s still in the area. We would connect at O’s games.

We actually had a long phone conversation recently catching up.

He’s a great announcer and justifiably beloved in that area.

Another DJ who made the switch to play-by-play was Joe Angel, now back with the Orioles. How’s this for weird? When I was a Top 40 disc jockey I replaced Joe on KMEN, San Bernardino. Then, when I was a baseball announcer, I replaced Joe on Orioles broadcasts. Joe needs to become the DAILY SHOW host so I can replace him on that too.

What’s your Friday Question?

Hanging out with Mel Brooks

Here’s a Friday Question worthy of a complete post. It’s from longtime reader of the blog, Wendy Grossman and it concerns the great Mel Brooks. Wendy asks:

Ken, have you ever met or worked with him?

Never worked with him but did meet him. When my partner, David Isaacs and I were on MASH we had Ronny Graham on the writing staff. Ronny was a wonderful man, a gifted writer (and actor), and good friend of Mel Brooks’. In fact, Ronny helped Mel write some of his movies including SPACEBALLS.

At the time Mel had a production company based on the 20th Century Fox lot. And that’s where MASH was filmed and produced.

Quite often at the end of the work day Mel would pop his head into the MASH writers room to say hello to Ronny. Ronny would always invite him to hang out for a few minutes and Mel always obliged.

For the next half hour or so Mel Br would hold court. And he was HILARIOUS. We received a private performance by Mel Brooks. I was in stitches… and in awe.

We so looked forward to those evenings when Uncle Mel would come around. He told stories, launched into characters, segued into hysterical rants and kvetching – the man was a comic force of nature. Like I said, we knew we were in the presence of greatness.

One story Mel told was this (and I’ve heard him tell it elsewhere). Early in his career he had an office on some movie lot and encountered Cary Grant. Mel was awestruck by Cary Grant (who wasn’t?). Much to Mel’s extreme delight Cary asked him to join him for lunch.

For Mel it was a career highlight. The next day Cary came to his office and invited him to lunch again. This happened the next day as well.

And Mel was starting to get less enthused. Why? They had pretty much run out of things to talk about and it became rather awkward – at least for Mel.

But not for Cary. Day after day he would swing by Mel’s office to get lunch. Eventually Mel hid – anything to get out of these interminable lunches. Imagine ducking Cary fucking Grant.

Here’s why I shared that story:

One night after work we were watching the National League Championship Series. The Dodgers were playing the Phillies for the pennant. It was a crucial game and we were hanging on every pitch.

And Mel popped into the room. Normally we’d be super thrilled but the Dodgers’ entire season was on the line. Mel sat down and like he always did, launched into a brilliant comic monologue. Except this time we wanted to say, “Hey, Mel. Shut up. We’re watching the game here.” We didn’t do that of course but it sure reminded me of the Cary Grant incident.

Quite simply Mel Brooks is one of the funniest people on the planet. And also one of the nicest. I’ve seen in restaurants talking to fans who interrupted his meal. He is always gracious. Always kind. A total mensch.

Mel is now 90 and I don’t think he has missed a step. He’s a national treasure and I feel blessed that I got to spend some time with him, except during the NLCS.

'Cause you asked for it...

Okay, here it is in print -- my Oscar review (for those who even remember all the way back to Sunday).  Thank you for responding and subscribing.   I've got some cool things planned for the podcast and other cool things planned for the blog.   Anyway, if you would still like to listen to the review just go here.  Thanks much.  Enjoy the snark. 

In a year of alternate facts, congratulations to LA LA LAND for winning the Best Picture Oscar. HOLY CRAP!! Maybe the greatest clusterfuck ending an Oscarcast will ever have. They’ll be talking about this one for years. Now I wonder if I really won that Emmy.

My question is, if Jordan Horowitz, that LA LA LAND producer didn’t so graciously announce that MOONLIGHT had won and they just got off the stage and the show ended, what would have happened?

Now you wonder if MANCHESTER BY THE SEA didn’t actually win. Or DEADPOOL.

Donald Trump has to be so pissed. People are not talking about HIM.

I fully expect him to tweet: “Congratulations to the Best Picture winner: TRIUMPH OF THE WILL.”

I’m still not certain what happened. From what I understand Price Waterhouse has two envelopes for every winner. So when they handed the envelope to Beatty & Dunaway that was for Emma Stone for Best Actress rather than the envelope for Best Picture. That’s why Beatty sputtered and was confused wondering what was going on. But Dunaway could have read the Emma Stone part too and just said this is the wrong envelope. I’m also confused at how Horowitz got hold of the correct envelope.

Beatty apparently was given the wrong envelope (by a now unemployed member of Price-Waterhouse). Of course, what was it doing there in the first place?

The fact that Warren Beatty looked lost, that didn’t surprise me at all. That’s the way he is at the Beverly Glen deli. And Faye Dunaway, who announced the wrong winner, well she has an excuse. She can just say it wasn’t her. Whoever that woman was on stage she was unrecognizable as Faye Dunaway. She could claim “that was Jeffrey Tambor” from TRANSPARENT.

Jimmy Kimmel was clearly pissed – signing off with “I’ll never do this again” when actually I thought he did a nice job. I would just say next time don’t take an Ambien before going on stage.

Getting back to the fuck up of all fuck ups – I’m sure the administration will blame it on illegal Academy voters.

And by the way, snafu aside that was quite an upset. LA LA LAND was considered a lock – although no one I know actually loved that film. Most, myself included, were completely underwhelmed. The stars can’t sing. That’s sort of important in a musical.

My friend Jon Weisman had a great tweet. He said LA LA LAND just became the Atlanta Falcons.

And I don’t think Faye Dunaway is going to be hosting THE MATCH GAME anytime soon.

You have to feel for those producers of LA LA LAND that had the rug pulled out from under them, but honestly, weren’t you sort of amused after all those lofty acceptance speeches “they said we were fools to dream,” “this was a brave and courageous journey”, etc. to have someone go, “Uh, sit down. You lost.”

Considering how pissed Steven Spielberg was when SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE beat out SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, if he were in this situation, Barry Jenkins would have had to wrestle him to ground to get the Oscar out of his cold dead hands.

How much do you think the bar bill was for the LA LA LAND after-party?

On the other hand, THIS is why we watch this tedious award show every year – because every so often you see something completely unexpected and jaw dropping and you know it’s live. That’s what makes for great television. And now, one of the few shared experiences we all have… other than mass protests.

Meanwhile, the Trump bashing was kept to a surprising minimum. Not that any of his supporters were watching anyway. I bet the only show that gets a lower rating in Alabama is the Chabad Telethon.

I did like Kimmel’s line that “the show was airing in more than 225 countries that now hate us.”

The Iranian Director who won for THE SALESMAN but didn’t come because he didn’t want to spend two weeks in a holding cell, prepared a stinging statement but unless they replay it on Fox News no one who matters will have heard it.

I bet there were more Trump jokes but when the mere mention of Ivanka got an audible groan, I suspect they wisely pushed them aside.

The Creative Community faced an agonizing dilemma this year – how can you acknowledge the dangerous state of our world and not let it spoil your good time? And remember, this IS Hollywood. When President Reagan was shot the morning of the Academy Awards the blazing headline in the next day's Variety was "OSCARCAST POSTPONED." Underneath, in much smaller letters, was "President of the United States shot". Gives you some perspective of this town.

The solution this year: Wear blue ribbons for the ACLU and hit the bar.

As for the show itself:

Well, first, let me back up. A moment or two about the red carpet shows.

How many of you miss Joan Rivers? I do. How many of you miss Melissa Rivers? Hands? Anybody? Hello. Did you ever notice that Gayle King is Oprah’s Melissa Rivers?

I guess KTLA, channel 5 in Los Angeles was not allowed to really interview many red carpet guests. They did a three hour show featuring their usual hosts, Sam Rubin the footstool to the stars and dashboard bobblehead Jessica Holmes. But mostly it was canned features and not live interviews. Which is too bad. They’re usually good for at least five staggeringly stupid questions. But picking up that mantle, God bless her, was Kristin Smith for ABC’s coverage. She asked Casey Affleck why so many films filmed in Boston. And to Emma Stone she said, “LA LA LAND is about dreamers. What advice do you have for dreamers?” Emma said, “Uh, that’s a big question.” But it’s just not the same without Sam gushing, “Every star in the galaxy is here” and Jessica Holmes mispronouncing everyone’s name including her own.

The show got off to a good start with Justin Timberlake doing his nominated number from TROLLS. Except the celebrities looked so awkward clapping and dancing. They’re not there to party. They’re there to win their goddman hardware, look better than everyone else, get shit-faced, take their $30,000 swag bag and go home to yell at the help. But you know they started the show with Timberlake “to get the kids.”

Jimmy’s monologue was breezy and mostly funny. Meryl Streep was a good sport. She’s the new Jack Nicholson. It’s as if every host now plays to her.

The set originally looked like URINETOWN. But then it changed every ten minutes. Gold clamshells, Mastro’s without the steaks, shimmering blue Oscars, a giant waffle iron. Apparently, at 11:30 in the morning some giant set piece crashed to the ground. No one was hurt although I’m sure the producer wished it landed on Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.

Back in a minute, but first – I was glad that Randy Thomas was back as the announcer. Don’t you just imagine she’s announcing YOUR name?

(at this point I played a sound byte of Randy announcing that I had won as Oscar. See some of this stuff works better in audio form.)

I thought Mahershala Ali gave a very heartfelt acceptance speech. Many of the speeches were lovely. I didn’t appreciate when that one winner was rushed off the stage though as he was talking about his mother dying. And I loved the guy, I think he won for a music category, who thanked his mother for letting him get out of soccer to be in a musical.

The Best Documentary went to OJ, MADE IN AMERICA. I wonder if he thought the one about him was I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO.

Most of the women looked spectacular this year. Notably Brie Larson, Alicia Vikander (resplendent in her size zero Louis Vittan), Scarlett Johansson, and Naomi Harris.

My daughter Annie has a good rule. No movie over three hours should be eligible for Best Editing.

The first time they dropped candy from parachutes it was a cute bit. By the third time it was tedious. And it’s time to put to bed the Jimmy Kimmel – Matt Damon feud.

Janelle Monae came dressed as a TV test pattern.

And Michelle Williams came as Mia Farrow on her wedding night to Frank Sinatra.

The scariest moment of the night was when the celebrities had to actually confront real people. They did a bit where a tour bus group was ushered into the auditorium and the looks on some of the actors’ faces was priceless. Many looked panicked. Some of the stars were good sports. Denzel, who did not appear to be loaded this year, Ryan Gosling, and Mahershala Ali all had fun with it. Others sat there like they needed volunteers to take a hill.

The most uplifting moment was when Katherine Johnson, the real-life mathematician for NASA and the inspiration behind HIDDEN FIGURES was brought out on stage. That almost made up for the long-winded ponderous acceptance speech by Viola Davis. What was that all about? “Artists are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life.” So, uh, if you’re not an artist you don’t count, or just exist? Not sure. Reminds me of when Jerry Lewis had a very brief talk show and would end it by saying, “The greatest thing I could wish for you is that you have show business people as your friends.” Viola started by saying that all stories come from dead people. Huh? And ended by turning into Norma Desmond. “And I want to thank the craft-services person.” Get off the stage!

How do I describe Leslie Mann’s dress? It’s like if you tried to gift-wrap a vacuum cleaner.

And how many times did they cut to a reaction shot from someone in the audience and you said, "Who's that?" More this year than ever.

The best make-up award went to SUICIDE SQUAD for dying actors’ hair different colors.

Michael Shannon is starting to look like Jaws from those James Bond movies.

Auli’i Cravalho did a beautiful job of singing that song from MOANA. Amazing poise for a 16 year old. And very beautiful. I imagine Faye Dunaway will be in her plastic surgeon’s office Monday morning saying, “this time give me that face.”

Shirley MacLaine had the best line of the night. She said “that was the greatest reception in 250,000 years.” All those past lives and she winds up Warren Beatty’s sister.

I loved the New York Times ad.

What happened to Halle Berry? She turned into Diana Ross.

Lots and lots of standing ovations this year. It was like a Jewish High Holiday Service. After awhile people just got tired of it and you could see them wrestling with “should I? It’s only the old lady from NASA. Nah. I’ll save it for when LA LA LAND wins Best Picture.”

Amy Adams is turning into Jessica Rabbit.

Okay, ZOOTOPIA was a good cartoon but did it “make the world a better place?” I don’t think so. That would be THE BATMAN LEGO MOVIE.

Did Nicole Kidman also have her arms done?

The IN MEMORIAM piece was very moving. Sara Bareilles singing Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now” offered just the right blend of sadness and celebration. Don’t you always wonder who is going to get the pimp spot? Which death Hollywood considers to be the most significant? Well, in this case, it was nice to see that Carrie Fisher finally upstaged her mother.

Happy that Kenneth Lonergan and Barry Jenkins won the two screenplay Oscars. Leave it to writers to give eloquent BRIEF speeches without claiming that only artists can give meaning to life.

The Academy went overboard on diversity this year, and even then Will Smith can’t get a nomination.

Fox Searchlight spent $17.5 million to acquire Nate Parker’s BIRTH OF A NATION figuring it was Oscar gold for sure this year. Too bad they didn’t spend $5 and check his rap sheet.

Emma Stone looked elegant in her Roaring 20’s flapper gown. Congratulations on winning an Oscar for starring in a musical when you can’t sing or dance.

Lin-Manuel Miranda didn’t get his EGOT. But he will. Maybe he did. Who gave it out?

Salma Hayek always looks gorgeous so she’s always a presenter and she can never pronounce anything. She had trouble with “The White Helmet.”

Sofia Boutella’s hair off to one side was interesting. Very Picasso.

Yeah, the Academy says it celebrates diversity but how come not one alien from ARRIVAL was nominated?

So Mel Gibson has been welcomed back by Hollywood. I guess anti-Semite is now a diversity group.

This year’s Oscars will long be remembered. What a colossal blunder. John Travolta is now off the hook. Rob Lowe and Snow White are now off the hook. I’d hate to be Faye Dunaway’s personal assistant. Next year expect the ballots to tabulated by the accounting firm of Goldberg and Fishman on Ventura Blvd. in Reseda. And if this year the theme was diversity, next year it will be “We don’t give a shit who wins as long as we get it right.” On to the Emmys.

Okay, I'll make you a deal

A number of you have asked why I posted my Oscar review exclusively on my podcast this year.  The simple and completely honest answer is that I'm trying to build an audience for the darn thing.  I put a lot of time and effort into it and would like to not just be talking to myself (the way I do the rest of the time).  There are lots of podcasts and they're hard to launch.

But I totally get that for some, reading the review is an easier and less time consuming endeavor. 

So I'll make you a deal.  Subscriptions are huge to the success of podcasts.  So are five star reviews.  Why this is so, I have no idea.  I'm still trying to figure out Nielsen boxes.  But they are, especially subscriptions.  Even if you subscribe and don't listen that's a big help.   So I tell ya what, if enough people subscribe today (which just takes a couple of clicks) and maybe a few toss me a star or five I will post the review tomorrow in the blog.  

You just click on the DOWNLOAD ON ITUNES button above, click on "view in iTunes", and subscribe.   Or go here. 

There are also ways of doing it on your smart phone apps but I'll leave that to you to figure out (translation: I have no idea).

Thanks so much for your support of the podcast.  I'm trying to present different types of features and interviews -- stuff that I can't do in print and keep the blog content as fresh as its always been.   Oh, and have a life. 

So that's my deal.  I hope you take me up on it. 

Your obedient blogger,

me

Oscar follow-up

There’s always the second day autopsy on the Oscars after the first day’s initial reactions.

As expected (certainly by me), the ratings were among the lowest ever. I think the combination of Trump supporters not wanting to hear about tolerance and acceptance and diversity and a lackluster slate of movies that no one saw or gave a shit about caused that rating slide. Don’t blame Jimmy Kimmel.  Or the Starline Tours.

I wonder how many people on the east coast actually saw the trainwreck ending live. Lost in all the hoopla about the snafu was that the Oscarcast was way over time.

They could have dropped Mean Tweets (that’s a TV bit not an Oscar bit), cut the tour bus schtick in half, lost the tweet to Trump (it took forever and had no great payoff), and not parachuted in donuts. Or played walk-off music halfway through Viola Davis' speech.  That would have saved half an hour.

Thanks to those who listened to my review on my podcast. If you haven’t heard it yet you can go right here. And please subscribe. Subscriptions are vital in the podcasting world. I know some people prefer just the written version, but a lot of you are saying it added another dimension to actually hear me say the jokes the way they were intended. It was fun to do although I got to bed at 4:30 in the morning. I won’t be doing this with the ESPY’s.

I felt bad for Jimmy during the finale clusterfuck. He clearly was overwhelmed. This is where a seasoned pro is needed. Hope, Carson, even Letterman might have been more in control. It’s like when Al Michaels was calling the 1989 World Series and there was a major earthquake. He instantly turned into a news anchor and handled that emergency with complete assurance and grace. Give Jimmy a few years to really settle into that role and he’ll be that guy too. Remember, when you’re hosting a live event, you have to be ready for the unexpected.

Considering the money that studios pour into Oscar campaigns, when the producer of one film says he happily gives the award to another, behind the scenes the studios are freaking out! Lots of money changed hands as a result of that blunder.

Mixed reaction from commenters on Viola Davis’ speech. Also, some real nasty comments overall, some I just rejected. Again, this is a humor blog. If you want to poke a little fun at something, fine, but several times over the last few days I’ve had to put a halt to threads that were getting out of hand. Play nice, kids.

I'm sorry but I thought Jennifer Aniston's choking up during the IN MEMORIUM intro was over-the-top and fake.  

There weren’t any real fashion disasters this year, at least none that I saw.

HELL OR HIGH WATER picked the wrong year to be in Oscar contention.

Nicole Kidman is taking some internet flack. Everyone has that fine line between deciding whether an actress is still glamorous or scary. For many, that line has been crossed. I thought she is still a procedure away. 

And finally, my friend Earl had a fascinating observation. What if the snafu were reversed? What if MOONLIGHT originally won and then were told that the lily-white LA LA LAND beat them instead? I can’t even imagine the brouhaha that would have caused.

My Oscar review

Normally in this space I post my annual snarky bitchy Oscar review.  But this year I'm trying something different.  I'm doing the review exclusively on my podcast.   That way you can hear the jokes as drippingly sarcastic as they were meant to be.   And what a truly BIZARRE ending to that ceremony.  Yikes!  I talk all about it. 

To listen, just click on the podcast arrow above or right here.   Enjoy. 

Episode 9: My Annual Snarky Oscar Review

Ken reveals the most jaw-dropping Oscar ceremony in history. The winners, the losers, the blunders, the fashions, the politics, the red carpet, the facelifts, the glamour, the whole self-important ego-palooza. Join Ken for Hollywood's finest hour and most embarrassing moment.

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!