Thursday, September 14, 2006

My favorite weekend

The Thursday Calendar section of the LA TIMES always has a feature called “My Favorite Weekend”. A celebrity is asked to describe his or her favorite southland weekend. It’s always bullshit, but now it seems they’re running out of real celebrities. At one time it was Sharon Stone. This week it was one of the models who holds briefcases on DEAL OR NO DEAL. Like anyone gives a crap that she likes to go to Catalina with friends on Sunday then have dinner at someone’s house and let his chef prepare the meal.

Anyway, just in case the TIMES ever asks, I thought I’d post my favorite weekend. Or at least, a typical weekend for me.


Friday I like to get an early start and hit the cockfights in Tijuana. I enjoy the action and it’s fun to see all the young couples out on their first dates.

From there I’ll go to the Hotel Del Coronado for a swim to wash any blood off.

There’s a Stuart Anderson’s Black Angus restaurant in Oceanside right off Interstate 5. They have a three-course dinner for two that includes two sides. And on Friday you can get their signature clam chowder, just like the cowboys used to make.

Saturday morning I power walk from Westwood to Malibu, get the paper, then power walk home. Along the way I may stop at artist friend’s house and pose for a bust.

For lunch I’ll meet some ex car thiefs at Bob’s Big Boy in Toluca Lake. Their Big Boy hamburger is an LA classic, but I order their Super Big Boy hamburger because that one has meat in it.

After lunch and checking to see that one of my dining companions didn’t steal my XM radio, I amble over to the Twin Swallows Oriental Massage Parlor in nearby Inglewood for some pampering at negotiated rates.

Once that ends happily I head back home to work on my “project”. It’s been a ten year labor of love. I’m assembling a table I bought at Ikea in 1996.

For drinks at sunset, especially in the summer when the sky turns an awe inspiring crimson, I prefer the bar at the Shangri-La motel at the beach. Only wish it had a window so I could see outside.

If I went whale hunting the week before I’ll come home and grill it for dinner. I’ll invite some close friends I met on MySpace and we’ll eat, discuss the theater, sample fine wines, and toss water balloons at the useless neighborhood watch patrol car.

Early Sunday morning I reserve for calling back everyone who called me during the week. For some reason I usually wind up leaving messages on their voice mail. I’ve yet to reach my dentist.

For breakfast I’m cutting down on eggs so it’s back to the Shangri-La motel bar for a Ramos Gin Fizz. Those eggs can kill you.

Next I steal a horse and play polo at Will Rogers State Park. The guys love me because I usually bring the little orange juice boxes when we break for snacks.

I love star watching so for lunch I zip out to the Motion Picture Country Home and Hospital in Woodland Hills. Last week I saw the remaining cast members of MCHALE’S NAVY.

Sunday afternoon is culture time. You can’t be well informed if you don’t read. Currently I’m poring through Helen Reddy’s autobiography.

Sunday evening is sushi so that means Angel Stadium in Anaheim. There’s nothing like watching the Halos duel the Devil Rays and hearing that vendor come down the aisle yelling “Hey, sushi right here! Get yer yellowtail!”

I get home, use the neighbor’s Jacuzzi if he’s not home, watch the CELEBRITY FIT CLUB and then it’s time for bed. The great thing about LA is that it’s not just me – EVERYONE here has weekends like this.


John Donald Carlucci said...

"Friday I like to get an early start and hit the cockfights in Tijuana. I enjoy the action and it’s fun to see all the young couples out on their first dates."

I bow before you.


Anonymous said...

A weekend in Boulder begins with a cramped ride from old Stapleton Airport in Denver to Chautauqua Park cottages, onward to a bad dinner with wannabe writers, two days of teaching basics to newbies -- when we all know only the craft; not style and humor, can be taught. Alas, onward to Holiday Inn for a decent night's sleep, and - finally - back on the plane to the blessed comfort of L.A. That was your true weekend in Hell many years ago - remember?

Still here and loving it - Carolyn

By Ken Levine said...

Yes, Carolyn, I remember it well. The Rocky Mountain Writers Guild. We were supposed to speak for two hours, the rest of the guests failed to show and we had to adlib another eight hours. And then at the banquet where the governor was supposed to show, he didn't and the keynote speech had to be delivered impromptu by my partner and I.

Anonymous said...

We finally got it right: Suites at Hotel Boulderado, limo service from airport, rental cars for speakers, catered food (from the good place). Trustworthy babysitters. Sorry you had to be the 'first', but am ever-grateful for your good nature, boy-scout 'can do' mentality and ability to adlib like the pro you are. Conference days are over, but memories are priceless. Hey, am I mimicking a TV commercial? Thanks for all you've done for me over the years. You're definitely one of the good guys!

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a GREAT weekend!

I love this blog!!!

The Minstrel Boy said...

My only advice would be to drive a little further west to Tecate. The cockfights there are not all crowded with dilletante tourist types and the local hootch is truly legendary.

Anonymous said...

This is classic. You get the oscar for the best blog on Friday Sept 15, 2006.

Anonymous said...

I've always thought that "My favorite weekend" should be renamed "Hey stalkers! Here's where I'll be this weekend."