Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Holiday Movie Preview Part 2

THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE – Robin Wright as a woman who looks back at her life. I wonder if any character says to her, “Well, Pippa, you made some bad mistakes in your life but at least you didn’t marry Sean Penn.”

ARMORED – Armored car robbery by its guards. Actually I wonder why this doesn’t happen 12,000 times a year.

BROTHERS – When Natalie Portman’s husband is missing in Afghanistan, she turns to his brother, Jake Gyllenhaal for solace. Uh oh.

EVERYBODY’S FINE – Robert DeNiro as a widower. That’s what Natalie Portman’s husband is going to be if he ever comes home from Afghanistan and finds her with his Goddamn brother.

THE LAST STATION – It seems like every holiday season we get another Leo Tolstoy biography. Christopher Plummer stars this time as the Tolster.

TRANSYLMANIA – All the finest universities encourage their students to study a semester in Transylvania. Transportation and lodging is provided but students are required to bring their own crosses.

SERIOUS MOONLIGHT – Meg Ryan. Title refers to the only way to light her now.

UP IN THE AIR – I couldn’t think of a better line than the one I used for the Fall Preview so here it is again. George Clooney is a habitual airline traveler who falls for another habitual airline traveler. “We’ll always have Tucson to Detroit with a stop in Dallas”.

THE LOVELY BONES – A low budget Peter Jackson film (which sounds like an oxymoron). A 14-year-old girl is murdered and there’s no giant gorilla or magic gnomes to save her.

AVATAR – The long awaited James Cameron sci-fi $9 billion-dollar 3-D blockbuster. Judging by the trailer, it’s about the Smurfs coming to life.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? – Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant in the Witness Protection Program shuttled off to Wyoming where Brits and Jews blend right in.

POLICE, ADJECTIVE – Underground cop in Romania stakes out a pot smoking kid. Tim Lincecum stars.

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL – “Let’s do it again!” “No, no, let’s not overdo it.” “But we want to do it again!” “No, really.” “We want to do it again!” “AL-VINN!”


IT’S COMPLICATED – No it’s not. It’s FORMULA. Because it’s Nancy Meyers. Rom com for middle-agers. Expect a mixture of 60s hits, lame jokes, and cloying sentimentality. I dare you to make it through the trailer.

The Holiday Movie Preview concludes tomorrow.


Larry said...

That's "Mr. Magorium," not "Mr. Magnorium." How could you mess up a simple name like that?

Catherine said...

I've always had a passion for sitcoms, a couple of which you have written for, and I would love to make them a bigger part in my life than just an extensive dvd collection. My childhood dream was always to star on a sitcom, but now I wonder if most of the comedic talent stays in the writers room. Are actors on sitcoms generally comedically gifted, or are they more classically trained actors with good timing?
I've always loved to make people laugh, but a lot of the rush, for me, comes from coming up with what to say. Do you ever wish that you could be the one on stage delivering the punch lines?

Catherine said...

sorry this isn't relevant to this post

Graham Powell said...

EVERYBODY'S FINE is actually a remake of an Italian film starring the great Marcello Mastroianni. Not sure how they'll turn it into the feel-good picture of the year.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

No it’s not. It’s FORMULA. Because it’s Nancy Meyers.

Who also doesn't know when to end her movies. She's the female Garry Marshall in that regard.

Anonymous said...

Rory, the most perfect example of Mr Marshall not knowing when to end a movie is when Pretty Woman finishes with Julia Roberts getting into Richard Gere's limosuine. Everybody who has seen movies like these know the movie is supposed to end with the limo sitting in a burning heap after being pushed off the side of an offramp by the meth-addled driver of a semi-trailer.

Pat Reeder said...

Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky, but for all the money they spent on the 8th wonder of the world, "Avatar," it still looks like a particularly stupid video game to me. I think I'd rather watch Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep dancing around a cozy kitchen and miming to a Motown tune while using wooden spoons as pretend microphones than sit through that.

VW: "imism" - The belief that government should be structured around whatever I'M thinking or feeling at any given time; a.k.a. "Obamaism."

Michael Tassone said...

love this blog.

Unknown said...

Re: "The Lovely Bones".

Incredible book...if you are able to finish it.

The first time my wife tried to read it she made it to page 11 before bursting into tears. I think she has made to all of page 25 or so.

I made it to page 21 before I broke down. I did finish the book.

Unknown said...

A popular aggregator site I goto has this question.

"Who is playing guitar between the scenes on TV's Becker?"

Thought you might know.

Dave said...

"I dare you to make it through the trailer [of It's Complicated]."

Wife and I tried, failed.

Jim Stickford said...

It's Complicated - I dare you to make it through the trailer.

You're mean Ken, just mean. Why would you want me to see that trailer?

Will Teullive said...

"When Natalie Portman’s husband is missing in Afghanistan, she turns to his brother, Jake Gyllenhaal for solace. Uh oh."

Is "solace" slang for "penis"?

Ref said...

The death of a child, or children, is the cheesiest hook in pop literature. see the collected works of Stephen King.

AlaskaRay said...

>>The first time my wife tried to read it she made it to page 11 before bursting into tears. I think she has made to all of page 25 or so.

I made it to page 21 before I broke down. I did finish the book.<<

Sounds like the movie will be a real Chrismas hoot.


Anonymous said...

must respectfully disagree with sephim. the *perfect* ending to 'pretty woman' would have been 2 weeks later: when gere comes home early to find julia hard at work in bed airtight with 3 guys, bourbon bottles and meth paraphernalia all over the place. (quick cuts to: shot of wad of cash on top of dresser; shot of julia's panties dangling from ceiling fan; shot of the videocam on a tripod next to the bed; shot of gere's stricken face.)

it seems gere had finally gotten around to answeering his mail after the whirlwind, ultra-romantic honeymoon, where he discovered julia has A) been systematically looting his bank accounts, even while on honeymoon B) forged his signature on a POA, transferring the house and the lotus to herself, and C) infected him with 3 different kinds of STD's, and given him the crabs to boot.

as gere begins systematically gunning down julia's 3 'afternoon' clients before killing her and turning the gun on himself, (and here marshall could have gone to tarantino for pointers on the most cinematic uses of blood spatter and such), julia's final words are a ringing, stirring defense of her actions and in a very real way, the dialogue that is Truth Itself: "hey, what'd you *expect*, idiot?!? you married a WHORE!!!"

am seriously thinking of giving up my day job to concentrate on writing screenplays like this. am pretty sure william goldman would be proud to call that his own, and besides, stuff like the above just really doesn't seem to mesh well with my current job - writing children's books.

Anonymous said...

I saw IT'S COMPLICATED and loved it. You couldn't be more wrong about this film, it's hilarious and all 3 of the actors are brilliant in it.

Unknown said...

Who's seen the original "Brothers"? I'm wondering how different the new version with Natalie Portman is?

Anonymous said...

Did anybody end up seeing "Brothers"? If you didn't, you should. It was the best movie I'd seen in a long time. Nat was absolutely gorgeous, and Tobey put on the performance of his career. I bet he'll win an oscar for this one. FINALLY!

Anonymous said...

"Brothers" did a great job of keeping the integrity of the original while developing into it's own film throughout. Very impressed with the acting and the direction. Good to see the cast doing a "big" movie without the glitz, glam, and special effects ...