Sunday, November 22, 2009

Random thoughts about stuff

People were camped out in front of the theater in my neighborhood for three days to see the first showing of NEW MOON. Uh, it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime event or concert. It’s a MOVIE. It stays the same. It’s not like if you wait until next week Nancy Pelosi and Joe Lieberman will be playing the title roles.

Similarly, a gas station on Moorpark in the valley was charging $2.85 for regular last week. A block down a station was charging $3.19 and they practically had a line. It’s the same gasoline, morons! There’s no such thing as Techron!

Our one rule for when our kids wanted to go off to college: there must be a direct flight home. How many of you or your kids will be stuck in airports this week trying to make a connection?

In a break from the long-standing tradition of having a major network broadcast the Primetime Emmys, they will be on NBC next year. Maybe they could get Jay Leno to host them. He gets so little exposure over there.

Anyone else notice that 30 ROCK’S ratings are absolutely in the toilet this year? Fire Tracy Morgan. Use Brian Williams more. Heck, let Brian Williams host the Emmys.

Is there even one week a year that the World Series of Poker isn’t going on?

Someone is following me on Twitter now who is also following 37036 people. I’m so honored.

My partner David reports from Soho where our "Dancin' Homer" episode of the SIMPSONS is selling briskly on a Spring Street vendor's table. I hope David collected our .000000000000001% cut.

How soon until Blue-Ray becomes obsolete? Answer: Now. I just got a Blue-Ray player.

And this might just be that new thing: Scientists are researching biodegradable, silicon-silk devices that could be implanted inside the human body for various applications, potentially including the development of "LED tattoo" skin displays. You could invite friends over and show IT’S COMPLICATED on your ass.

A great recent headline in the news: Gang Killed People To Extract Their Fat

Oprah told her studio audience last week “Much prayer and months of careful thought” led her to shut down her syndicated show in 2011. By “prayer” she meant: “I’ll now have more money than God”.

It’s always odd to see what people searched on Google to get to my site. Recent searches include:

Total Drama Island Nude
Sonya Walger masturbation
How bad to teacup pigs smell?
David Lloyd pants
Erotic Nudity on Netflix
Jump Rope girls
How many F words are in the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3?
Steve Martin plastic surgery
Happy ending message (he probably meant massage)
What songs does Sinatra mention Jilly?
Another Christmas of agony
Japanese girls in white socks (I'm certainly the go-to site for that)
Hotter than two rats in a wool sock author
Arclight popcorn
Sharpay nude
Best porn star site (why did they come to me???)

For anyone in my generation, November 22nd is our September 11th.


Alan Coil said...

"For anyone in my generation, November 22nd is our September 11th."

Yes, it is. And that is why I can see the mental harm that has been done by the events of 9/11.

At some point, the mental healing will begin. For each person, it will be at a different time. For me, the horror of 9/11 began to fade early on, as I had lived with the horror of Kennedy's assassination for 30 years before I began to heal. It took reading an article about letting it go before I even realized that I had been paralyzed for those 30 years.

Will Teullive said...

Oprah told her studio audience last week “Much prayer and months of careful thought” led her to shut down her syndicated show in 2011. ...Why can't the gals from The View practice this same prayer and careful thought??

WV: Ginest- The knockoff of Guinness that can be bought in any downtown Shanghai pub.

rob! said...

I'd rather have a vampire in the Senate than Joe Lieberman--at least vampires only f**k over one person at a time.

TAG said...

Wait... Steve Martin has had plastic surgery??

Anonymous said...

Wow, search terms are almost as fun to read as word verifiers. Speaking of which...

PROMEN: a portent of things to come in a professional's career.

John Leader said...

FYI. "Techron" actually does exist.

Emmett Flatus said...

Mebbe 30 Rock's in the toilet because it belongs there.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Emmett above.

"30 ROCK" is one of those shows like "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" that critics and members of the TV academy seem to want to shove down people's throats. Guess what? Many of us regular folks have sampled it and just plain don't like it.

If I want to watch a cartoon, I'll watch "THE SIMPSONS".

gwangung said...

In other news, Ken's favorite actress is really pissing off Korean adoptees...

Max Clarke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Max Clarke said...

About Blu-Ray.

Apple has not put a blu-ray drive in the Mac. Steve Jobs was quoted as saying the reason had to do with Blu-Ray licensing, but Apple may be skipping Blu-Ray because they know the future of movie purchases is downloading. Why buy a disc when you can get it through iTunes or Amazon or another download service.

Anonymous said...

Uh, when HAVEN'T 30 Rock's ratings been in the toilet? Who cares anyway- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is way funnier, all w/out the "benefit" of such comedic savants like Oprah Winfrey and Al Gore...

Tim W. said...

Apparently I'm not a regular person, since I actually like 30 Rock. Note to self, more fibre in diet.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Brian Williams should worry less about being funny and more about being a, you know, journalist?


James said...

A common catchphrase in our office between me and my boss, usually regarding some foolishness at corporate headquarters, is "that may play in the sticks, but this is Capital City!"

Great episode.

Tim W. said...


I didn't realize the two were mutually exclusive.

Kirk said...

For anyone in my generation (the 1970s) the day the radicals took over the U.S. embassy in Iran is our November 22 or September 11. Except that nobody I talk to can remember the exact date that happened. For that matter, they can't even remember the exact month.

That's the way it was back in the '70s.

D. McEwan said...

"TAG said...
Wait... Steve Martin has had plastic surgery??"

Naaah. It just took 60 years for his Chinese Ancerstry to start showing itself on his face.

Max Clarke said...
Why buy a disc when you can get it through iTunes or Amazon or another download service."

So I can watch it on my large TV, instead of my little computer.

Apaprently I'm an irregular, because I love 30 ROCK.

Mike in SLO said...

Count me with the irregular folks out there. I, too, like 30 Rock. I even liked Arrested Development. I must really be whacko!

But more Brian Williams? I think I'll gouge my eyes out now...

WV=redom: A communist mantra.

Roger Owen Green said...

Kirk- November 4, 1979: seriously without looking it up. It was 444 days before the Reagan inauguration which "mysteriously" ended the crisis. It was the event that sparked the ABC News program Nightline with Ted Koppel.
For some reason I always remember Nov 4 was Walter Cronkite's birthday.

Mike Barer said...

Having gone through Nov 22 and 9/11, I'd have to add 12/8/80 to that day of imfamy. The day John Lennon was shot.

danrydell said...

If 30 Rock gets canceled, I don't know what I'll do. I love that show, one of the few comedies I can't miss.

...and I don't really care what that says about me. I think it means I appreciate comedy.