Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Some dumb turkey facts

“Turkey Lurkey Time” from PROMISES PROMISES is the worst song Bacharach & David ever wrote.  And they wrote THE BLOB.

Turkeys have been around for 10,000,000 years.  But Brontosaurus used to be the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

Turkey feathers were used to stabilize arrows.   It worked better once they were plucked.

Benjamin Franklin wanted a turkey to be the national symbol of America, not the bald eagle.   This is why Ben Franklin needed glasses.

Thanksgiving Day really began in 1863.  If you think it takes the government forever to pass legislation now

Turkeys can’t fly.  WKRP in Cincinnati learned that the hard (and hilarious) way.

Californians are the biggest turkey eaters in America.  They eat three pounds more than the average consumer.  This is all due to one Cracker Barrel in Bakersfield.

90% of American homes eat turkey on Thanksgiving.  The others don’t because they’re afraid the result will be a chip implanted in their heads.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

23 comments :

Lemuel said...

One thing I remember from childhood Thanksgivings is that I NEVER got enough mashed potatoes and gravy.

Never enough alcohol. said...

Californians are the biggest turkey eaters in America.

That's because our Legislature feeds us quite well!

Craig Gustafson said...

A couple of years ago, I was in a Christmas revue at a local theater, "Merry Mad Mid-Mod," which had the conceit of being a Dean Martin/Andy Williams/Bing Crosby style holiday special. All songs were written no later than 1969. The first act finale was "Turkey Lurkey Time." A full cast number.

Luckily, my "60s persona" - based on Phil Silvers - was also playing a character in a sketch, based equally on Buster Keaton and Jackie Gleason's Poor Soul, and I was wearing silent movie makeup. I went to the director and said, "You know, there's only one song between Petey the Schnook and 'Turkey Lurkey Time.' There's no way I can get all that makeup off and change costumes by then."

I was excused from singing and dancing in "Turkey Lurkey Time." And I was downstairs changing costumes, so I didn't even have to listen to it. It was the best Christmas present I could have received.

Buttermilk Sky said...

Canadians sensibly celebrate Thanksgiving in October before it starts to snow. This gives them more time for leisurely Christmas shopping and results in a less violent society with universal health care and a national anthem people without operatic training can actually sing. Of course, you have to know some French.

gottacook said...

Isn't "The World Is a Circle," from Lost Horizon, just as awful as "Turkey Lurkey Time"?

Joyce Melton said...

White turkeys raised on factory farms can't fly. Black and brown turkeys living wild or ranging free on small farms can fly. Not well, and not far, but our turkeys roosted on top of telephone poles away from coyotes and bobcats because the rooster wouldn't let them in the chicken house.

Lemuel said...

Gottacook: you won't run out of bad Bacharach songs when you refer to that musical. I believe it may have contributed to the breakup of the Dionne Warwick/Bacharach song partnership.

-3- said...

Don't be silly!
Eating turkey will lodge a chip in your digestive tract, not your brain.

(I like The Blob, by the way. Still know to hum or sing it while doing little chores. Though that !POP! can get awkward when hands are covered in soapy water or something)

Jeff Maxwell said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"It worked better once they were plucked.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thanks, I needed that!

Spike de Beauvoir said...

"What, no gravy?!"

https://www.topcartoons.tv/cartoon/chow-hound/

maxdebryn said...

@Buttermilk Sky - Hi ! Fellow Canadian here. I only know un petit peu French, and it gets me by. Regarding the Canadian National Anthem, my favourite renditions were sung by the late, great Roger Doucet. All the best to you !

blinky said...

We saw Tick Tick Boom last night based on your recommendation that it was good. It took about a half hour to figure out if it was just a live concert or a musical or a movie. But when it finally got going it really went well and built up to an interesting conclusion. Absolutely ironic death for such a talented person … if only he had a healthcare.…

Griff said...

"The World is a Circle" is probably a little better than "Turkey Lurkey Time." [But "Living Together, Growing Together," also from the LOST HORIZON score, is probably worse.]

For the record, Hal David did not write the lyrics to "The Blob." Bacharach collaborated with Mack David, Hal's older brother, on the song.

Mike Bloodworth said...

My cousin used to live in northern California near gold country. They have a lot of wild turkeys up there. Often they are in the street. I asked my cousin, "Aren't they a traffic hazard?" He said, "Not really. If you hit one they just sort of explode."

And yes, as JOYCE MELTON said wild turkeys can fly short distances.

Turkey Trivia 🦃 For a long time Jewish people wouldn't eat turkey because their bald heads made them look like vultures which are not kosher. But after a while it was shown that they're not related. So, it's cool now.

M.B.

Liggie said...

I was assigned to make a Thanksgiving card for junior-high art class. On the cover I drew a turkey standing on the gallows with a noose around its neck and the hangman pulling the lever. On the inside, the entire platform had crashed ... except for the stuck trap door the unscathed turkey was still standing on. Chuck Jones would've been proud, I like to think.

Fred said...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stay_Down_Here_Where_You_Belong


Though far from being his worst effort, this anti-war song by Irving Berlin became an embarrassment to him once the USA entered WWI and as he grew increasingly right wing over the decades.

Berlin’s (perhaps humorous) $100 standing offer to Groucho Marx for each eschewed public performance of the tune went largely unclaimed, as was the case for this Vietnam War era rendition on Cavett

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WTkzBRbtZA

Buttermilk Sky said...

maxdebryn: Not a Canadian, just a fan.

Covarr said...

As God is my witness, I thought WKRP was a wonderful show with more than just the one episode, and it breaks my heart that the turkey drop is the only one anybody remembers.

Leighton said...

"The Blob" trivia...it was directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr., the son of a Presbyterian minister. My father, a 90 year-old retired Presbyterian minister, interacted with the family - close to Junior's age. HELL, I once spent the night with the family, in the 80s. They were very "Evangelical." How WEIRD!! I remember that Irvin S. Yeaworth SENIOR was very critical, that I had decided to separate myself from organized religion.

Breadbaker said...

The Bakersfield joke made me laugh out loud.

Very thankful we will have six for dinner tonight. Hoping next year we'll have nine, which would be the full crew.

Leighton said...

Furthermore, the father was quite embarrassed that his son had directed the film. He told me that the "film industry" was "evil." Keep in mind, that I was staying with them, while checking out film School. His son was involved with religious programming, and with a potential religious theme park.

YEKIMI said...

I saw/heard the cast of GLEE! do "Turkey Lurkey Time". It was at that point I knew they had jumped the shark.

Anonymous said...

Turkeys are more than capable of flight. The white broad breasted turkey you have for Thanksgiving dinner can't fly because it weighs to much, thanks to commercial production. But turkey can fly at up to 55mph