Thursday, March 08, 2007

One last lost ARTHUR scene

From Steve Gordon's original draft. Part of the fun of having this blog is being able to share great writing, even if it’s not mine.

Remember when Linda shows up at Arthur’s engagement party and they go out to the stables? In this version after the party they go to the Plaza Hotel and end up here:

INT. HUGE ORNATE PLAZA HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT

Linda and Arthur enter the room.

LINDA
(looking around) Look at this room! It’s not easy to feel cheap here.

Arthur sits on the bed.

ARTHUR
You want something to drink? Or eat?

LINDA
No.

She walks to the window and looks out.

LINDA
New York…

ARTHUR
You were expecting Pittsburgh?

LINDA
I feel like we’re a young couple from the Midwest on our first trip to New York.

ARTHUR
(lying back on the bed) Come here.

Linda goes to the bed and lies next to him. He puts his arm around her. They lie like that for a beat.

LINDA
What are we waiting for?

ARTHUR
The other girl will be here in a minute. You didn’t think this was just going to be you and me, did you? You’ll like her.

Linda laughs.

LINDA
Why do I feel so comfortable with you?

ARTHUR
Because we are that couple from the Midwest. And we’re very nice people.

He kisses her. Light at first. Then it quickly turns to passion.

ARTHUR
(breathing heavily) You’re a nice girl… but you don’t turn me on physically.

LINDA
You’re not going to marry that girl. And you know it.

Arthur kisses her again.

ARTHUR
Let’s not talk anymore. Okay?

Linda starts to unbutton Arthur’s shirt. She kisses his chest. They are both very excited.

LINDA
(while kissing his chest) I know you’re not going to marry her.

ARTHUR
She’s talking. Linda… let’s not talk.

He rolls over and kisses her again. After the kiss:

LINDA
Let’s talk for a second…

ARTHUR
I’m having sex here! Do you mind?

LINDA
Why would you marry a woman you don’t love?

ARTHUR
I have to. Can I help you with that zipper?

LINDA
What do you mean… you have to?

ARTHUR
Linda… there’s not a shower in the world cold enough to fix what’s going on here. Now… could we talk about this later?

LINDA
Just tell me what you mean… you have to?

ARTHUR
My family is forcing me to marry her.

LINDA
You asshole! Nobody gets married like that! That hasn’t happened since 1850!

ARTHUR
They’ll cut me off if I don’t! Without a cent!

LINDA
So? You’ll get a job like everybody else. How much money is it?

ARTHUR
250 million dollars.

LINDA
Try it with her for a few years. Maybe it’ll work out.

ARTHUR
Linda… you see this suite? I have to be in suites like this.

LINDA
Why?

ARTHUR
Because… that’s who I am. I’m Arthur Bach. I’ve got nothing but the money. I don’t know who I am without it.

LINDA
You’re not Winston Churchill… I’ll tell you that.

ARTHUR
(touching her face) It took me years… all my life… to find you. Just don’t compete with the money. The money is like my arm. It comes with me.

LINDA
We’re not that nice young couple from the Midwest, are we? I’ll get a cab.

Linda crosses to the door. Arthur sits on the bed. She stops.

LINDA
You can’t have everything, Arthur. If you get the potato you don’t get a vegetable.

ARTHUR
Would you turn down this money?

LINDA
Are you crazy? Of course not! I steal ties for Christ sakes! But when you look for a mistress… make it a mistress! She should speak French and give back rubs. Don’t come to me. I want to get married. What do I know about being a mistress? You’d get me an apartment and I’d want to know if it’s near a good school.

ARTHUR
Goodbye, Linda.

LINDA
Don’t pout. You’re lovely. I’ll remember you the rest of my life.

Linda exits. Arthur goes to the bar and pours a drink.

CUT TO:

14 comments:

la guy said...

Funny scene, I wonder if they decided it was a little too steamy to be in the film? It may have made their characters a little less sympathetic too because it crosses the line from innocent flirtation to nearly cheating on his fiance'.

IQCrash said...

I really love these scenes you're posting. The dialogue is so sharp that it makes me want to crawl into a dark hole and never leave, forever working on that perfect piece of dialogue that simultaneously pokes fun at jews and the war on iraq.

Grubber said...

Really appreciate these scenes Ken. Many thanks to you and to Steve Gordon. With writing like this it is a terrible shame that he was not able to be with us longer to contribute more of this quality work.

cheers
David.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely bloody brilliant!

Ah....*sigh*....




Right, so much for pining over the loss of such a good writer...where can I find a copy of this script (and any others I can get my hot little hands on)?

For the purposes of inspiration and education, of course, not just the laughs.

Shell

mast2rbator said...

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Anonymous said...

I would've loved to have seen that in the movie. Thank you for these lost ARTHUR scenes.

Anonymous said...

I loved the writing in this scene, but have to tell you, I still loved the stables scene more. That scene was written even more bittersweet if that's at all possible.

Stacey

Teddy said...

Thanks, Ken.

I've not seen Arthur for years and years and these lost scenes are real treasures.

A writer should probably avoid saying "I wish I could write like that," but "I wishh I could write like that."

I wish even more that Steve could've written more.

Mary Stella said...

I need to watch Arthur again to savor and learn from the brilliant writing. Thank you, Ken.

Rick said...

The scenes from Arthur make me miss those days when writers tickled you with feathers - before they decided they had to stun you with a sledge hammer. Many thanks!

(I realize there must be copyright issues involved, but I'd love to have the chance to read more of Steve Gordon's scripts.)

The Captain said...

Thank you for posting all of these great scenes! Lovely indeed.

Madfoot said...

"you were expecting Pittsburgh?" heh.

Anonymous said...

My Favorite is when Sir John says dryly "I'll alert the media".

Carol said...

I just have to THANK YOU for posting these lost Arthur scenes. It's my favorite movie in the "whole wide world" as my 4 year old would say. I've watched it a zillion times...but it's so neat to get to relive it again in a new way. The weird thing is, I seem to find a new line to quote every time I watch it. What a gem. "Isn't fun...the BEST thing to have?!" :)