As expected, with the strike almost over I’ve been getting a lot of email questions. I thought they would all be about the deal points, what this means for the future, etc.? No. Most were wondering when I would lift my ban on AMERICAN IDOL recaps? Honestly, until they get down to actual contestants and voting the show is like watching the ninth sequel of POLICE ACADEMY.
The initial auditions used to be great fun. But not anymore. They say 100,000 people try-out each season. Well, we’ve now seen every one of them. How many times can we laugh at the same joke? How many tears can we shed for the same trailer trash sad sacks?
Daddy’s in prison after killing my sister but I know he’d be proud of me if only I can advance to Hollywood.
I’m sixteen, I have five children. I just got fired from Burger King for being too stupid, and I think I just conceived again in the waiting line, but I know things would improve if I became a star.
It’s either this or I go back to spending my life throwing flowers off the Tallahatchie Bridge.
Christ! And then there are the idiots who bring in puppies or (this season) a day old baby to butter-up the judges. Social Services people should be in the room ready to just confiscate these items and press charges.
The Hollywood auditions might be interesting. I suspect a lot of morons cracking under the pressure of having to learn the words to “She Loves You”. I’ll have to see.
In the meantime, here are some representative pictures from the open audition-freak show. All you need to know about twelve hours of airtime you’ll learn from scanning these for twelve seconds. Now don’t you wish you had those twelve hours back to do something productive like campaign for Fred Thompson?
Let’s get to those ten finalists, Barry Manilow night, the one contestant who has a porn video on the net (that's how you butter-up Simon), and let’s have some fun! More recaps then.
Monday, February 11, 2008
By Ken Levine at 9:57 PM