Friday, February 29, 2008

We hate you! Now SING!

Am I the only one who thinks it is inhuman to make the AMERICAN IDOL contestants who just got booted off then have to sing? You learn on live national television that 30,000,000 people just rejected you, you can almost hear a collective cheer going up in the country when your name is announced, and now you’re expected to man up and perform. Yikes!

Last night one of the four bootees, Alaina Whitaker was so wrecked she didn’t want to do her song. To his credit, Ryan jumped right in and reassured her she didn’t have to. Alaina eventually did it but I’m amazed more kids don’t refuse. This is your big moment? With mascara running down your face and your throat all choked up?

And the song they make you sing is the same one that got you eliminated in the first place. All the criticism from the night before – poor song selection, you’re not good enough for that material, you have no charisma – all that’s going through your head as you stand before the largest audience you will ever face in your life.

I just don’t get it. Why not let the four people who got the highest vote totals reprise their songs? Those are the people we obviously liked.

Or better yet, whatever four contestants DON’T cry get rewarded with the Thursday night repeat performances. (Hell, just make them the four finalists and send everyone else home. That damn crying is nauseating already!)

But what I saw last night was AMERICAN IDOL completely destroying Alaina Whitaker then moments later announcing that AMERICAN IDOL CARES.

I dunno. It just didn’t work for me, dawg.

13 comments:

A. Buck Short said...

Ken Levine said...
Am I the only one who thinks it is inhuman to make the AMERICAN IDOL contestants who just got booted off then have to sing?

And yet for one brief moment in time, they're all Liza Minelli.

They Shoot Horses Don't They?
I'm guessing it's about as much fun as walking the plank. Of course I never understood why all those movie victims seem willing to dig their own graves when issued a shovel by the perp. For what, an extra half hour of misery?
Hey, you're gonna kill me anyway, dig your own damned hole.

Or do you think they're holding out hope for a reversal on appeal?

Really nice about the Dodgers!!!

Dhppy said...

It's a supposed to be a "See what you'll be missing America!" moment. Which is why I think all ousted contestants should have to sing "I Will Survive"! I bet Danny Noriega will.

Anonymous said...

Woof!

Tallulah Morehead said...

It's for us, the Feel-Good Moment, when we are reassured that we were right to vote these people off.

I loved one of the other contestants, in trying to coax Alaina out of her emotional snit and into singing with, "A record producer might be watching." I would imagine many record producers were indeed watching, and thinking, "Hmmm. She drew fewer support votes than the Bride of Frankenstein's horrible performance, she can't match a pitch, and she crumbles under pressure and stress, of which there is none in the music business. SIGN HER UP!"

Poor Alaina. Her meltdown was so bad, I thought she'd been fired from designing outfits for the BRATZ sequel.

What we didn't see on TV was that, just before she was eliminated, Alaina was told that William F. Buckley had died. Well anyone would have gone to pieces. The Liberal Media turned her mike off while she said, "This is for you, Bill" before girling up and singing. I was so moved, I could barely hit the fast-forward button. (NEVER watch the AI elimination show live. 1.SURVIVOR is on. Farewell Mike, you boob. And 2. You can fast-forward through all the filler.)

But at least the son of Fidel Castro and the daughter of Manuel Noriega are still competing.

blogward said...

This is what happens when you let the music biz get the idea it knows what good TV is. No matter what you think of TV people, Music biz people are WORSE.

Favourite Tv Program said...

i think it's to give her last chance to show her skill to the world.

i give my respects for them who can sing well after losing their biggest chances.

Tallulah Morehead said...

"i give my respects for them who can sing well after losing their biggest chances."

What has that to do with the losers on AI, who invariably give an exit performance that is worse than the one that got them eliminated in the first place?

AnimeJune said...

Well, I don't object to the last song they sing - just as long as they get to CHOOSE the song.

What always kills me is that they have to sing the song they failed on.

Remember in season three - that pale redheaded kid who could only sing Sinatra? He aced the "40s Night" like nobody's business and nose-dived singing N'Sync's "Music of the Heart".

When he lost - why couldn't they have let him sing the song he was actually good at ("As Time Goes By") rather than that dreck with Gloria Estevan?

Tallulah Morehead said...

The show, like Simon himself, is cruel only to be kind, and if they want to be very kind, they must be very cruel. So, fortunately for the losing contestants, they love them so much, they're willing to be utterly monstrous.

jbryant said...

Maybe they should have each eliminated contestant's favorite artist come out and mercilessly denigrate them (kinda like that time Cartman had Scott Tenorman humiliated by his favorite band, Radiohead). Then Simon could bound across the stage to lick their tears. That would be great television.

charity said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKCVS57j284&feature=related

my nominees for AI future contestants. terrific vocals and harmonizing, but also not to be overlooked is the adult who arranged one of the more difficult songs in our historical musical lexicon.

charity said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
QKCVS57j284&feature=related

maybe this will work....make it all one line or look up "catus cuties sing the national anthem" - the vid of the girls singing to camera (there is also one filmed behind them that isn't as good visually.)

i think this is one of the best versions of our national anthem i've ever heard - and i'm 60!

Tom Quigley said...

..."I loved one of the other contestants, in trying to coax Alaina out of her emotional snit and into singing with, 'A record producer might be watching.'" ...

Or they could suffer an even crueler fate... A manager who desperately needs a bad Las Vegas lounge act could be watching...