Monday, May 19, 2008

A WOMAN SAT DEAD IN FRONT OF HER TV SET FOR 42 YEARS

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who responded to yesterday’s post. Your all-too-generous comments were greatly appreciated. Especially since – in the last two years – I’ve been accused of being a racist, sexist, plagiarist, toxic, homophobic, greedy, narcissistic, demented and my writing has been termed vile, hateful, irresponsible, and the unkindest cut of all – not funny.

The only one of those I really resent is being called demented. That's harsh and unfair.

So it’s heartening to read your lovely supportive comments. Thanks again.

Here’s a true story I’d love to see them do on COLD CASE. It was reported by the DailyRecord.co.uk:

A WOMAN SAT DEAD IN FRONT OF HER TELEVISION SET FOR 42 YEARS.

Zagreb resident Hedviga Golik fixed herself a cup of tea and sat down in her favorite armchair to watch a little TV. This was 1966. Her remains were discovered last week. The cup of tea was still by her side.

She was found by local authorities who had broken in in an effort to determine who owned the flat.

Neighbors thought she had just moved out.

A police spokesman said: "So far, we have no idea how it is possible that someone officially reported missing so long ago was not found before in the same apartment she used to live in.”

Uh, yeah… we’re heading into some serious Inspector Clouseau country here.

I know it’s a horrible story but I just can’t help imaging police breaking down the door, guns drawn, entering the living room and discovering this 42 year old corpse watching golf.

Yeah, hell. That person is right. I am demented.

26 comments:

Ger Apeldoorn said...

If it was England, they wouldn't have their guns drawn, but their batons up.

cpo snarky said...

Thanks for the tip, Ken - I've been looking for an affordable apartment in Zagreb!

Bitter Animator said...

Most of us sit dead in front of the television for longer than that.

Daniel said...

CBS mourns the loss of one of their core viewing audience.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

Most of us sit dead in front of the television for longer than that.

Hear hear! For me, it's a point of personal pride.

D. McEwan said...

Yes, but what was she watching? Was she a Neilson Family? Did she leave a note saying "Don't move me untill LOST concludes in 2010."?

Jake said...

It is all quite scary being alone in death. Did she have no family or friends. What a lonely life she must have lead and more so after dying with no one coming to visit and lay her to rest

John Pearley Huffman said...

According to the AP (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/16/croatia.body.ap/), Miss Golik had only been sitting there dead since '73 -- a mere 35 years.

But remember she was in Zagreb, and it takes seven years there before you realize you're dead.

Phill Barron said...

What TV was she watching? I've never had one last more than five years of sporadic viewing - 42 (or 35) years of continuously being on? That's a quality machine there.

Also, what electrical provider is she with? I'd like one who let you use electricity for 42 years without worrying about the unpaid bill.

Sebastian said...

Most likely scenario:

- no relatives
- she owned the flat
- she got reported missing by the companies she owned money to.
- she got disowned and her money transferred to an attorney who paid the bills and gave the rest of the money to the state after a grace period
- TV and Gas were turned off

So you could also put the title "Woman sat in same Ikea chair for 42 years" because after that amount of time I guess most of the items in her flat must've gathered so much dust and started withering that you could not call the items by their names anymore. Imagine a skeleton on some rusty springs of a couch that has long lost it's cover.

So this is actually a non-story.

And remember, back then TV started at 3pm and lasted till 11pm. She didn't miss that much program the first couple of years anyway, Yugoslavia being a communist state back then most likely half of it was propaganda anyway... makes you wonder why she didn't get discovered during the civil war...

tarrask said...

this guy, bitter animator, has written the best blog comment in history.

i mean it.

Charles said...

Now we know who's been watching According to Jim.

Tom Quigley said...

1966? State-controlled TV? -- The poor dear probably suffered one of the cruelest of fates: she was indoctrinated to death....

A. Buck Short said...

For the record, you’re as mented as 9 out of 45 people I know, and Zagreb is the loveliest city in Croatia lacking Dubrovnik’s Adriatic oceanfront view. Finally, what the woman was watching and cause of death (aneurysm):
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/zsa-zsa-gabor-workout-tape/834423072

Because the reception was so poor from Budapest:
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/bodyflex-workout-of-horrors/3928750314?icid=acvsv1

Terese Ramin said...

Ah hell, Ken. You're not demented, you're a writer. We're all like that.

Terey

Warren Fleece said...

She's not dead. She's just pining for "The Dick Van Dyke Show"

Dan Serafini said...

Shut up, Mel.

alan said...

"Ripped from today's headlines..."

Annie said...

Morbid, perhaps, but think of the equity!

Anonymous said...

Something isn't right. Someone had to know she was rotting in there. Nobody noticed a smell? I'm guessing some kind of government benefits were being stolen by the owner of the building.

benson said...

I'm guessing some kind of government benefits were being stolen by the owner of the building.

Yes, but Norman thought it was okay, because Mother told him so.

mike doran said...

I guess this beats Benny Hill's record by 41 years and 363 days...

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

After 15 seconds of Billy Mays I want to die in front of the TV, too.

Sharone said...

Benson's comment... perfect!

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't say it's a "non story". If it happened like sebastian conjectures, the story is "after you die, a bunch of companies and lawyers will take your money, and then after everyone has been paid, no one will care anymore".

In other words, The system works!

GreyWolfSinger said...

Did anyone check the teacup? Maybe it was "So-Long" brand.....