This just in, the Michael Jackson show continues, even in death.The family is reporting that there will soon be a public viewing at his Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara. I’m sure it will be a tasteful affair. No one would be so crass as to sell t-shirts, jackets, posters, candles, CD’s, silver gloves, post cards, hyperbaric oxygen chambers, DVD’s, memorial baseball caps, webkinz, Captain EO masks, Michael Jackson action figures, Michael Jackson as California Raisin action figures, authorized biographies, Michael Jackson Mastercards, Wiz soundtracks, Jackson 5 lunch pails, underwear, trading cards, puppets, mug shots, r
ecords, clocks, bed sheets, clods of Neverland dirt, calendars, ticket books to Neverland rides, King of Pop dolls, Black and White singing dolls, pins, badges, Lisa Marie Presley wedding invitations, Jehovah’s Witness brochures, last photos, 911 recordings, Neverland ant farms, afro wigs, sunglasses, shot glasses, comic books, stuffed animal of Ben the rat, flashlights, karaoke tapes, chia pets, helium balloons (inhale them and talk like Michael), shampoo, bobbleheads (collect all 5), Joe Jackson pimp suits, socks, Butterfield 8 DVD’s, Lucite frames, blow ups of Janet’s wardrobe malfunction, courtroom artists’ renderings, foam fingers, tampons, beach towels, crying towels, deposition reprints, life size cardboards (size 8 years old – adult), pillows, and woochies.The news media will certainly respect the family’s privacy and not trot out every news van, satellite dish, production truck, helicopter, klieg light, and microphone in America. There will be no photographers, no anchors, no field reporters, no TMZ stringers, no Jesse Jackson.
Opportunistic concessionaires won’t be just off site selling Moonwok stir fry, PYT (pink yam tamales), Billie Jean burgers, black and white cookies, Thriller chillers, Beet It borscht, Doggone hot dogs, Dangerous chili, King of lollipops, and King of soda Pop.
Ultimately the services will be private… whatever that means.
26 comments :
"woochies"????
I think a turnstile like they use on the New York subways draped in black crepe (bleached to an ivory hue) would be appropriate. Tokens could sell for $20 each and the proceeds fund any molestation payoffs that might be needed in the future.
WV: frooke. Another term for Michael Jackson
I say to those opportunists: Sell everything you can! Make the U.S. economy rapidly improve.
Hey, if Al Sharpton has his way, Michael's going to still make an appearance at the Apollo, with a 40-city "Thriller -- The Afterlife" tour to no doubt follow.
Awwww...really? Uhmmm....errr...ahh...no.
I think this cartoon pretty much sums up the coverage so far. I have come to truly feel sorry he's gone, for his family and everyone who recognized his talent.
But when I read your line from some spectator the other day comparing MJ to MLK, I had only one thought -- no he's not yet up there with Martin Luther King. The white folks in every city in America should only allow their second worst street to be named after him.
They might just as well take the body on the fifty concert tour. Given the shape he was in ("brink of Death" apparently), a quick look at him doing a simple moonwalk and lipsynching an old hit and then off stage while pyrotechnics put on a show was all the concerts could ever have been anyway, had he managed to survive long enough to attempt them.
Now, instead of performing oldies, they could run his successive noses by on a conveyor belt, along with the names of their "doners."
Last night, as a "tribute," Fox reaired AMERICAN IDOL'S "Michael Jackson Theme Night" from earlier this year. What an odd way to pay tribute to him. Watching David Gokey cover a Jackson song, and then Adam Lambert cover one. Yikes! Well, Adam is as gay, and Gokey is as white.
And now his kids aren't even properly adopted. We knew they weren't "his," but it now turns out that they also weren't his. Rentals rather than purchases.
This circus is here for a LONG stay.
Here in the Washington, DC area, the supposedly most serious, least sensational, of the four local news stations offered several minutes of grieving-fan coverage this evening BEFORE getting around to a (shorter) segment about Sen.-elect Al Franken's Minnesota Supreme Court victory and Norm Coleman's concession. Again: This was a news broadcast in Washington, DC!
Oh, and the Washington Post (to which we still subscribe daily) is offering a pricey "special commemorative edition" fake front page that never had ordinary circulation (see story "Washington Post Fakes Own Front Page for Profit," http://photobusinessforum.blogspot.com/2009/06/washington-post-fakes-own-front-page.html). Like there's not enough real news to devote dwindling journalistic resources to...
WV: rather appropriate: "decomp"!
will the vegas papa joe vulgar vulture be charging an entrance fee at the gates?
or will he be offerin' up some kinda buy one get one free...and i'd like to inrodcue you to my partner marshall...marshall and i have this sorta blue-ray blue tooth record company with all kind o big acts comin up and why not just tie this baby all together nice n tight like and get this mother money maker rollin' if you knows what i mean....i got me all kinds of ideas with big $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ wait, why are my eyes all blurry with all these $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ signs all up in here inside my pupils. my hat is supposetobe shielding the sun from scorching my $$$$$$$ heartfelt deal making mecca...i wish i could sleep but i just can't there's just so much $$$$$$$$$$$$$ to be made and so little cents , i mean sense and did somebody just die
They should consult James Brown's family about how to conduct a tasteful private ceremony though I'm sure they will be in good hands with Revs Al and Jesse, thank God for good honest caring preachers!
And don't forget to look for my new record label in stores now.
I know there will be some traffic control, security, etc. but the most important safety tip is this - please, please please (no pun intended) DO NOT PUT YOURSELF BETWEEN JESSE JACKSON AND A CAMERA!!
Mark
This just in from Apple Computer. There will be a Michael jackson Special Edition iPod. Out of the box, it'll be black. Over time, it'll turn white
Just in time for the holiday traffic exiting L.A. It will be a fitting career highlight for Larry King if he covers the event live. BTW, isn't Neverland being held as collateral for one of Michael's loans?
On top of all this, now there's the news that apparently a will has been located, which I'm sure will ultimately be looked upon as a fake, since it begins: "I, Michael Jackson, being of sound mind..."
BTW, how many bus tour services are already arranging charter trips to Santa Inez on Friday and Saturday ("Celebrate the Fourth with a Stiff")? -- And what's Joe's cut of that action?...
Joe Jackson - are you the singer or MJ's dad?
>>The family is reporting that there will soon be a public viewing at his Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara. I’m sure it will be a tasteful affair.<<
As soon as I heard about the viewing, I was desperate to get tickets. I finally found a scalper on line selling them for $200 each. What a deal!
Ray
I will never understand all the attention given to this freak and pedophile. To hear people call him their hero makes my stomach churn. The definition of a hero should be reserved for those people who put their lives on the line for the safety and betterment of society.
Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton are like flies landing a pile of dog shit. That's why they're cozying up to that sleaze ball Joe Jackson.
CNN now reports that there will not be a viewing, public or private, instead opting for a memorial. I wish this whole thing would stop, I feel bad for MJ but also I think him having his Evita moment with the viewing would have been fitting.
I hate myself, but I think we've found exactly the right keepsake to hawk both for the event and LA -- strobe yahrzeit candles.
I just hear an unconfirmed news report, that Michael Jackson is still dead!
Ray
I think the coverage is vulturistic (look Ma, I made a word!), of course. I'm not sure how I feel about MJ's death itself. I sympathize with both those who claim he was a genius and those who denounce him as a child molester. If I feel like that, I wonder how he felt? In any case, it must have been hell to be him.
WV: "astryo" - scientific name for that floating thingy at the end of "2001: A Space Odyssey".
It would only be fitting if you would write tomorrow's blog posting from Neverland.
This Craiglist ad which has an email address of a certain klevine1@live.com makes it look like maybe you're going:
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/zip/1255007673.html
Tell the truth, this is you, right?
...King-Of popcorn (just heat it)..
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