Those fine folks at Apple are now offering an app that causes your text messages to disappear. If Tiger Woods had this last year he’d still be married and shaving with Gillette. Ironically, the app is called TigerText. It allows users to set a time limit on how long their text messages remain. This can be anywhere from days to sixty seconds.
Wow! It’s like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE except with blowjob instructions.
Wives may start becoming suspicious though when hubby’s text messages suddenly go from 43 a month to 1,428.
Phone numbers would also be untraceable. And you would be unable to forward or save the texts. TMZ is going to have to work much harder now.
I imagine recipients of TigerText wouldn’t be thrilled. What woman likes to receive a love letter on an etch-a-sketch?
On the other hand, I could see useful aspects to this (besides the obvious, that you keep your job as governor of New York).
You could blackmail David Letterman without leaving a paper trail.
You could tell people you’re voting for the hot chick on AMERICAN IDOL when really you’re voting ten thousand times for the cute gay boy.
You could send this: “y do i txt u? its my choice. its my way of sayng i rmmber u. y do i rmmber u? its my choice. it proves dat i care. y do i care? dnt knw, its not my choice but my heart's.” without being humiliated the rest of your life. Or sent back to the second grade.
I’d sign up for this app just to obliterate the goddamn AT&T reminders I get ten times a day.
TigerText, on sale now at the iTunes Store. And coming soon: TigerTalk – a chat feature where your girlfriend will forget every word you say the minute you say it.