Thursday, June 10, 2010

The porn industry has gone too far!!

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anybody that the porn industry exploits its performers. Many impressionable young people with stars in their eyes arrive in LA every day and realize all too soon that this is a hard town, an unforgiving town. And for whatever reason wind up doing porn. Your heart goes out to them (more the girls but still).

There is a new trend in Adult Entertainment that I find disturbing. Companies are beginning to produce XXX parodies of popular sitcoms (like THE BRADY BUNCH, COSBY, and CHEERS). I have no problem with that. If you only knew some of the stuff we all pitched in the room that didn’t get in I guarantee it was rougher than those parodies.

But here’s my problem. It’s one thing to ask these porn “stars” to do degrading acts like have sex with animals or five guys or to be ravaged while shackled and chained. It’s quite another to ask them to be funny.

I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere. When a girl agrees to do oral that doesn’t mean bar schtick. When a guy says he’ll go down on you he doesn’t mean a pratfall. Allow these people some dignity.

You’re putting them in an impossible situation. Those comedy scenes will live on and haunt them the rest of their lives. How will they explain them to their kids?

So I implore the porn industry – don’t let this situation get so out of hand that Congress has to step in.

My other concern is that in short order these companies will run out of long running sitcoms to parody. And I for sure do not want to see the XXX version of THE GOLDEN GIRLS.

36 comments:

Greg said...

What's going on Mr. Peterson?

No, Woody (!), what's coming on Mr. Petersen.

Tod Hunter said...

And I for sure do not want to see the XXX version of THE GOLDEN GIRLS.

Uh, Ken...? A "Golden Girls" parody just came out this week.

DrNick said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVSIV2TwMj4

This is fairly NSFW and there is a much more NSFW version on the tubez.

Mike Bell said...

I do NOT want to see the porn version of "Mr. Ed."

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty certain THE GOLDEN SHOWER GIRLS has probably been done already...In all seriousness, one just has to look at what's become of the porn industry to see what's in store of the movie/tv biz. It's like the canary in the coalmine. Internet piracy has decimated DVD profits. Cheap cameras and bandwidth have flooded the market with amateur talent. Profit margins have been reduced to nothing. The only people making money are the ones who own popular porn internet portals and search engines.

A. Buck Short said...

OK, we get it: "That little statutory episode was one thing, Mr. Polanski, but the cameo in Rush Hour 3? Now you've gone too far."

I was looking at your cheek and could have sworn I saw some tongue. But the Golden Girls allusion was worth it.

Gnasche said...

There's no way they'll be able to edit it down to time when every (beat) lasts five minutes.

dodgerbobble said...

The company I work for just cut the "Roseanne" parody trailer. Let me just say, it was a rough one to get through.

But in all honesty, there have been a few good ones. If you take the sex out, the writing shines. I swear to you. Seriously. The Seinfeld and Big Lebowski are pretty damn funny.

Check out the trailers on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJrgFvSQ-f0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MyZg7E27cw

Mac said...

I hear ya. You can get desensitized to porn if you put the hours in, but bad comedy never fails to shock.

Brian Phillips said...

Ken, rest assured that these parodists will get smart and consult with someone who knows comedy and um, y'know. I suggest Traci Lords, who is at least willing to offer her views on comedy freely.

Mike said...

Tod beat me to it, but having just read about the announcement of The Golden Girls parody (which led me to wonder if they were saving it for Rue McClanhan's death or riding the Betty White popularity wave and made me slightly more misanthropic) when I saw the title of this post, I thought for sure Ken was talking about that parody.

So, Ken, did you know about that when you wrote your post or is that just weird timing.

(BTW: I've known some really funny, talented, charming porn stars, but is often the case in these situations, they are gay men.)

YEKIMI said...

Yeah, but when they do a parody of "The Big Bang Theory" what are they going to call it? It's already got a perfect porn name. I guess they could do a gay porn version and call it "The Big Bang Queery"......

Mary Stella said...

Now imagining the porn version of the Newhart finale.

Eek.

Skip said...

This is not a new porn phenomenon.

20 years ago they made "THE WONDER REARS".

"I remember my first pizza delivery..."

Anonymous said...

I just want to know, with all of these TV parodies, where's my MAD MEN porn?

Tod Hunter said...

Yeah, but when they do a parody of "The Big Bang Theory" what are they going to call it?

They called it "Big Bang Theory A XXX Parody." It came out in April.

Jim, Cheers Fan said...

Tod beat me to it, but having just read about the announcement of The Golden Girls parody

That's real? I thought he just beat me to the SATC-2 joke

benson said...

Now imagining the porn version of the Newhart finale.

"You know, Emily, you really ought to wear less sweaters"

Eek. Indeed.

Anonymous said...

Other sitcoms that don't need new porn titles--

Two and a Half Men
Leave it to Beaver
My Three Sons
Make Room For Daddy
Mr. Peepers
Good Times
Three's Company
Everybody Loves Raymond
The Honeymooners
Growing Pains
The Nanny
Malcolm in the Middle
How I Met Your Mother

Anonymous said...

Comedy is easy.
Double anal reverse cowgirl is hard.

John said...

With these parodies (at least the ones done recently), they don't really goof with the show titles anymore. Take American Idol for example. One studio would title it "This Ain't American Idol XXX", another would do "American Idol, An XXX Parody".

D. McEwan said...

Well of course porn has been doing comic parodies since the invention of photography. The GayVN Awards includes one for "Best Sex Comedy." Since porn is always full of unintentional comedy, it's a natural for intentional as well.

What's weird to me are all these references to females in pornography. Huh? I've seen hundreds of porn movies, and a full shelf of DVD porn, ands there's nary a woman to be seen in any of them. What would women be doing in porn? That would ruin them.

The most recent winner of Best Sex Comedy was "Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls," (actual title, not a lame joke from me), which obviously didn't take off from a TV sitcom, but sitcoms have been grist for porn comedy for a long time. And a few of the performers, Matthew Rush (who is the villain in the "Whorrey Potter" picture), and the now-retired Gus Mattox for two examples, become surprisingly skilled comedy performers. Admittedly Gus (actual name Tom Judson) has acted on Broadway, and on National Broadway trours, and is currently doing a one-man stage show in Provincetown which I saw when it played Los Angeles, and is excellent, moving and very funny, so it's perhaps less surprising that he's a skilled actor all around.

But still porn is primarily filled with performers for whom a line like "Uh-huh" is a challenge, not merely to deliver, but to learn, or even just to read off a card.

To the Anonymous who wrote the "Comedy is easy" line, extremely funny.

YEKIMI said...

They called it "Big Bang Theory A XXX Parody." It came out in April.

Well, excuse me for not being a porn aficionado. When you've seen one hole, you've seen them all.

Warden Gordon Borden said...

Now imagining the porn version of the Newhart finale.

Bob gets hit in the head with two balls, instead of just one.

Tom Quigley said...

Just wondering about the CHEERS parody... Who could they ever get that's so desperate that they would lower themselves enough to do Cliff? (and I do mean DO Cliff, not be Cliff)...

Ken Silverfish said...

Other sitcoms that don't need new porn titles--

You left off "Diff'rent Strokes," "That's My Bush!", "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis," Who's Watching the Kids," and "The Girl with Something Extra" aka "Dick van Dyke."

Anonymous said...

We are very happy with the way our X-Play classic TV show parodies have come out. You can check out our mostly PG rated trailers at www.sitcums.com I think that people enjoy seeing their favorite shows old and new get the porn spoof treatment. There are a lot of them but I doubt it Congress will intervene anytime soon because they like them too. We just wrapped Not Charlie's Angels XXX the other day after a week long shoot and Ken, you are going to love (or hate lol) Not Mash XXX in stores in mid August. I will make sure to send you one but I want your feedback.... Will Ryder.

Tod Hunter said...

Well, excuse me for not being a porn aficionado. When you've seen one hole, you've seen them all.

Who's an aficionado? I'm a professional in the field. Been a reporter and reviewer for the adult industry since 1997.

No offense intended, just wanted to let you know that they did "Big Bang Theory" already. I hear it's pretty good but I haven't seen it yet.

Tod Hunter said...

Just wondering about the CHEERS parody... Who could they ever get that's so desperate that they would lower themselves enough to do Cliff? (and I do mean DO Cliff, not be Cliff)...

I reviewed this one.

It was Katie St. Ives. Evan Stone played Cliff. Sam started giving his possessions away to show Diane he wasn't materialistic, and Cliff got his cologne. And Katie St. Ives.

Shutting up now.

Charles H. Bryan said...

Well, I want to see a Ken Burns documentary parody. Just lots of black and white/sepia stills of people screwing with moaning voice overs and fiddle music, Doris Kearns Goodwin providing historical perspective, and, at the end, being told that it was supported by the Pew Trust and Viewers Like Us.

Also, of course, a full frontal pledge drive.

Rockgolf said...

The guy who says we should get rid of porn is advertising a "pure cleanse" colon cleaner. I don't get it. Aren't porn stars prepping for anal scenes half his customer base?

ejaz14357 said...

The only people making money are the ones who own popular porn internet portals and search engines.

ejaz14357 said...

I hear ya. You can get desensitized to porn if you put the hours in, but bad comedy never fails to shock.

pcd said...

You don't actually want to want to have an intelligent, informed discussion on this extremely complex industry; or the human complex which spawns all pornography in the first place. Your blog was childish, short-sighted and ill-informed (no one in mainstream pornography is forced to perform beastiality). just stupid.

Ian Ironwood said...

The porn industry is just getting started. Virtually every title mentioned here has been done recently, or is in production, including Gone with the Wind, Wizard of Oz, and (if New Sensations ever gets off their collective butts -- I'm waiting, fellas!) Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For a good overview of the recent parody phenom, check out this article: http://thesexnerd.blogspot.com/p/porn-parodies-recent-history-complete.html

And, honestly, the Batman parody was probably the best thing I've seen so far this year -- better than last year's Star Trek, and that's saying a lot.

Personally, I kind of like the fact that adult entertainment is getting some actual entertainment in it again.

Anonymous said...

HOLY CRAP! Theres one brady bunch!