Thursday, December 01, 2011

Holiday Movies Preview Part 2

Aloha. Here's the conclusion of this year's Holiday Movies Preview. Part 1 was yesterday.

TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY – Adaptation of John le Carre’s classic Cold War novel. Realistic James Bond material. Espionage galore, pussy not so much.


W.E. – Directed by Madonna. Isn’t that all you need to know? In 20 years Lady Gaga will direct the remake.


IN THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY – Many great film directors are forced to direct episodes of THE GLADES yet Angelina Jolie gets to direct a major motion picture. And for all the exceptional screenwriters who are now happy just to get work writing Saturday morning cartoons, Angelina Jolie wrote the screenplay.


ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED – LOST with rodents.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN – Parents of a kid who goes on killing spree debate whether grounding him for a whole week is punishment enough.


CARNAGE – Noted madcap comedy director, Roman Polanski helms a star-studded cast in film adaptation of Tony winning comedy play. If the trailer is any indication, they forgot to include the laughs.

CORMAN’S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL – Documentary on B-movie king, Roger Corman.  He made 250 action movies for the cost of one Michael Bay film, and all 250 were better.


YOUNG ADULT – Diablo Cody screenplay about the ultimate mean girl (Charlize Theron) from high school returning to break up a marriage. Could be BAD TEACHER with good script.

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN – Steven Spielberg’s 3D motion-capture movie adaptation of a popular Russian comic book. If he doesn’t win an Oscar for it, his next 3D motion-capture picture will be set during World War I.

WAR HORSE – World War I drama of Tony winning play directed by Steven Spielberg. If he doesn’t win an Oscar for it, his next drama will be a live action adaptation of Tintin.

THE DARKEST HOUR – 3-D thriller set in Moscow where it’s not enough there’s the KGB -- a group of young people are terrorized by aliens from outer space. This whole premise sounds utterly absurd. Everyone knows aliens from outer space only land in New Mexico.

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE – Post 9/11 tearjerker starring Tom Hanks. Probably rough but worth seeing.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS – Finally! The beloved detective as Arthur Conan Doyle really envisioned him – as a bad-ass superhero. Robert Downey Jr. returns to deduce and destroy.

THE IRON LADY – Meryl Streep’s next Oscar nomination. This time playing… oh, what difference does it make? Just give her the statue.


ROADIE – a roadie for Blue Oyster Cult is no longer needed after twenty years and must adjust to life where girls have self esteem and don’t sleep with you just because it’s as close as they’re going to get to a rock star. In other words, it's a world gone mad! 


BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 3D – The Disney classic.  You've seen the movie, you've seen the musical, now comes the 3D version.   Coming soon:  Siri will sing it to you while it streams on your iPhone.  As long as you have a dollar in your pocket, those "imagineers" at Disney will not rest!

37 comments:

Roger Owen Green said...

great fear is that the daughter will want to see the Chipmunks film. Saw the 2nd film with the daughter a year ago, and I still haven't recovered.

Steely Dan said...

FYI, Tintin is a Belgian comic book, not Russian.

Mac said...

A week is not nearly long enough punishment for a killing spree. That kid should be made to sit through ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS:CHIPWRECKED, until he thinks seriously about what he's done.

olucy said...

Angelina's movie is actually titled The Land of Blood and Honey. There. Doesn't that make you want to see it even more?

Chris said...

I had heard that the release of "We Have to Talk About Kevin" was postponed until 2012. Glad to read here that it's not. Saw it, and Tilda Swinton is great and should get a nomination. Heck, I'd give her the award. Has anybody received a screener for "The Descendants" yet? My Academy and fellow guild friends have not. I live outside of L.A. and if they want my vote... Just saying...

jcs said...

Steely Dan is right. Tintin was created by Belgian comic writer Herge aka Georges Remi.

Re location shooting: The late artist Larry Sultan published an excellent collection of photographies that
cover this topic. He took pictures while visiting sets of films with very short scripts. The sobering book is aptly titled "The Valley".

Holly said...

I'm looking forward to Young Adult. I enjoy Diablo Cody's witty-hipster-banter (e.g. Juno). It makes me feel like I'm listening to a foreign language that I can mostly understand (a lot like rap).

R said...

Lotte Lenya's character in From Russia With Love was originally named Pussy Notsomuch. #TrueFact

Charles H. Bryan said...

I think Pussy Notsomuch is actually the Russian comic book upon which Spielberg's next movie will be based.

Iron Lady? Isn't she in THE AVENGERS?

Thomme said...

My 5-year-old daughter after seeing the "Chipwrecked" trailer: "I want to see that!"
Me: "I'm sorry, sweetie - It's not playing in Los Angeles."

Mike Schryver said...

I don't know, WE looks pretty interesting. I'd like to see how they depict a totalitarian society developed from mathematical principles, and...
Oh, this isn't an adaptation of Zamyatin's novel, WE?
Never mind.

cadavra said...

I saw GOD OF CARNAGE on Broadway, and if there are no laughs in the trailer, it's because it's not a traditional laff-fest, but more of a WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?-type dark comedy in which people get drunk and holler insults at each other. I'm more concerned that he cast John C. Reilly in a role originated by James Gandolfini. That'd be like casting Seth Rogen as The Green Hornet...oh, wait a minute...

WV: "cound"--British nobleman with a cold.

Tim W. said...

I can understand getting Belgium and Russia mixed up. They're basically the same country.

I was actually a big Tintin fan as a kid, so am very much looking forward to the movie. And taking my kids, as well.

I decided early to steadfastly refuse to take my children to bad movies, though. That's what my wife is for.

cjdahl60 said...

Ken - this is off topic, so I apologize in advance, but this is obviously the only contact method I have for you.

I just read on the Seattle Times web site that you again will be a part time announcer for the Mariners this upcoming season:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/thehotstoneleague/2016905251_mariner_broadcasting.html

(sorry if the above url doesn't display correctly - I'm not an HTML guru).

Hooray! I really enjoyed your radio broadcasts last year and look forward to more of the same.

Loosehead said...

Hmmm.
Angelina directing and writing but not starring. They say the marvel of a talking dog is not whether it can recite Shakespeare in the original Turkish, but that it can talk at all. No, I don't know what that means either.
Oh, and Tintin. Its Herge, not Sergei, and he was born in Belgium. Clean your ears out!

Emily Blake said...

Don't forget that for some reason, Mission Impossible: Unnecessary Protocol is being released the same weekend as Sherlock Holmes.

I'm looking forward to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and if I can catch it late in the month, The Flowers of War.

Mike Schryver said...

Just read the message upthread about you working the M's again this year, Ken.
Hooray, indeed!!

Anonymous said...

CARNAGE - Tony-winning play or Tony-whining play?

AlaskaRay said...

>>Charles H. Bryan said...
I think Pussy Notsomuch is actually the Russian comic book upon which Spielberg's next movie will be based.<<

It was Belgian.

Ray

fragesteller said...

Confusing Russia with Belgium just proves Ken as a true American. :)

P.S. And as Russian-born I can assure you, there are NO popular comics in Russia. Neither to the Soviet times.

Jeremy Dylan said...

Actually, all joking aside, the Ritchie/Downey/Law SHERLOCK HOLMES is probably the most faithful big screen adaptation of Doyle's characters yet seen, except Downey and Law should probably be about ten years younger.

And with Stephen Fry and Jared Harris on hand for the sequel, things are looking up.

Matt Patton said...

Actually, if I remember correctly, there were some pretty good jokes in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. Also in A Delicate Balance. Tiny Alice not so much . . .

DanTedson said...

"As long as you have a dollar in your pocket, those "imagineers" at Disney will not rest!"

I'm saving this last one for when Air Bud comes out of the vault.

-bee said...

Oh Ken, poor Belgium doesn't' have all that much going for it on the worldwide cultural stage - how can you deny them Tin Tin?

It's like, they have chocolate, Pomme Frites, the Dardenne Brothers and Tin Tin.

Why Belgians haven't (to my knowledge) made a Tin Tin feature film is strange though - the Spielberg thing looks awful.

Dave Olden said...

Tintin: бельгиец.

Tamingly said...

Herge was Belgian, but the "Tintin" series was originally published in France, and in fact there were a few live-action Tintin films produced in France during the 1960s, and a couple of animated ones. There are clips from these on YouTube, but they are hard to find just now, as the search function brings up several pages of promos for the new movie first.

Norah said...

Glad to hear you're going to be an announcer for the M's again next year!

Anonymous said...

Screw that little belgian fancy-pants emo boy and his mangy little dog.

Bring back Jonny Quest!!

Dr. Zin has been sending mocking emails to Palm Key from his mountain hideaway in Afghanistan!

It's time to end this.

Ken Levine said...

Sorry about the Tintin inaccuracy. I read it somewhere that the comic originated in Russia. But just to make sure -- Belgium and Russia ARE two different places, right?

Thanks to everyone who mentioned the recent Mariners' announcement that I will be back broadcasting for them next season. More on that tomorrow.

Tamingly said...

Oh, I get it.

The first Tintin book is entitled "Tintin in the Land of the Soviets." In other words, his adventures began in Russia. You must have come upon an account that garbled that fact into something like "Tintin began in Russia."

Pat Reeder said...

In Russia, comic strips YOU!

Only movie I'm looking forward to is "The Artist." I love silent movies. I also think most films could be improved considerably if the actors would remain silent. That goes triple for the Academy Awards ceremony.

Debby G. said...

I'm so excited about We Need to Talk About Kevin, based on one of the creepiest and memorable novels I've ever read. I bet Swinton is perfect in it. I'm shivering just thinking about it.

And because I'm a young adult author and loved Juno, I'm excited about Young Adult too.

They both come out on the same day, Dec. 7th.

R said...

There may not be popular comic books in Russia, but one of the best runs of a comic book imagines Russian superheroes. Red Son is a "what if?" comic that supposes that Kal-El landed in a wheat field in Soviet Russia instead of Kansas, and becomes their hero instead. Batman is recast as a dissident vigilante trying to bring down the regime, and Lex Luthor as a brilliant American capitalist who is America's only hope of maintaining détente.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

As long as you have a dollar in your pocket, those "imagineers" at Disney will not rest!

Having been born a Disney fanatic, the classic Disney movies will always have my dollars. I wish they would convert "Treasure Planet" into 3D, but considering the major flop that was, I doubt it would happen, but it would work with the animation.

Greg Ehrbar said...

Tintin can see Russia from his house.

And rumor has it that Guy Ritchie was supposed to direct CHIPWRECKED until the producers saw SWEPT AWAY and panicked about whether he could coax a decent performance out of Alvin.

SoberFilmCritic said...

I'd put my money on Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Young Adult, Carnage, and Sherlock Holmes being the best of the holiday lot. I'll be posting reviews on Sobriety Test Movie Reviews over the next several weeks for all these films at www.sobrietytestmoviereviews.com

Sean Carolan said...

Y'know, I think I'd actually like to see "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Young Adult, Carnage, and Sherlock Holmes"