Rendezvoused with my son Matt in Chicago. The first night we went for steak at Gibson’s on Rush Street in what locals call “the Viagra Triangle.” Had the two-artery special. These folks know how to cook cows.
Stayed at the Westin hotel known for it’s great urinals. In fact, a longtime big league announcer bought one for his home and had the hotel measure its exact height from the ground. That must’ve been an interesting “How can I help you?” call.
Hawked my book on the WGN-9 Mid-Day News. The station is God knows where. Certainly the cab driver didn’t have a clue. Drove by Wrigley Field and I think Wisconsin. Following my segment Jane Seymour hawked her art. I know Jane; directed her in DHARMA & GREG. She’s one of the sweetest Medicine Women on the planet. She hugged me and better yet, gave me a ride back to the hotel. How many people can say they hobnobbed with Jane Seymour and Jesus Montero in the same day?
Drove by the new Soldier Field. The original façade with the distinctive Doric columns are still in place. But the seating bowl is now a modern state-of-the-art saucer design. So the home of the Chicago Bears now combines the very compatible styles of Greco-Roman architecture with BATTLESTAR GALACTICA..
Played a three-game weekend series with the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field on the South Side of Chicago. First night there was a shooting on the South Side in an area called “Terror Town” and eight people were whacked. And here’s how rough that neighborhood is -- the Sox won!
The ballpark is in a residential area, mostly large apartment buildings and senior housing. The P.A. announcer asks fans to be considerate and not make excessive noise when leaving the park. Use silencers. Then they shoot off fireworks whenever a White Sox player hits a home run even if it’s1:00 in the morning.
Sunday was a 1:00 game with a one-hour flight to Minneapolis to follow. Estimated time of arrival: 6:00. My son had a 7:00 PM four-hour flight back to San Jose. He arrived at his destination before we landed at ours. Our game included four hours of rain delays, a loss, and on the way to the airport our equipment truck hit a fire hydrant and broke an axle.
The original plan was to share a Bludgeon of Beef from Manny’s Steakhouse with our producer/engineer Kevin Cremin, but we decided perhaps 78 ounces of cow attached to a dinosaur bone at midnight was probably not the best thing to do without writing a suicide note.
Stayed again at the W Hotel in the Foshay Tower in Minneapolis. With the mood lighting and pink and purple fluorescents, the lobby looked like Christian Grey’s Room of Pain.
Made another TV book appearance – this time on KSTP’s “Twin-Cities Live” program, which was broadcasting from the Minnesota State Fair. For sheer Americana, goofiness, and deep-fried everything you just can’t beat a State Fair and Minnesota has one of the best.
The Minnesota State University football coach was arrested on child pornography charges. Seems he took videos of his 9, 8 and 5-year old children dancing nude and had them on his school-issued cellphone. His wife has defended him. Her quote: “My family does what every family does.” Really? Every family? I don’t think so. Even Woody Allen waited until Soon-yi was of proper age.
Target Field, home of the Minnesota Twins, is an absolute showpiece. The limestone, steel, and glass design is unique and elegant. And we happened to be there the four days all season they didn’t need a roof. Baseball commissioner Bud Selig was on hand to announce that Minnesota will host the 2014 All-Star Game. The last time the Twins had an All-Star game was 1985, the year Selig bought that suit he was wearing.
The Mariners won three-of-four and we flew back to Seattle. Landed in time to race over to CenturyLink Field and catch the second half of the crucial pre-season NFL game between the Seakhawks and Oakland Raiders. It was the world’s largest outdoor frat party or political convention. 50,000 crazed pickled fans then staggered out onto the street. I’m guessing 32,000 accidents before they even got out of the parking structures.
Thanks to the Mariners, KIRO, WGN-TV, KSTP-TV, and Jane Seymour for a great trip. Oh, and the Milwaukee Brewers. Without your truck we’d probably still be on the tarmac.
Note: Again, I invite you to check out my book of travelogues -- WHERE THE HELL AM I? TRIPS I HAVE SURVIVED. Kindle version is a paltry $3.99. See the world through really distorted glasses.