Saturday, September 19, 2020

Weekend Post

As if 9/11 wasn't already the bleakest day in modern history, eleven years ago on that date Larry Gelbart passed away.  He was 81.   He was a dear friend, mentor, and inspiration.   At the time I wrote a tribute for the blog.  It took me a couple of days.  I was totally devastated.  Anyway, I thought I'd share with you again my thoughts on Larry. 

In addition to everything else, he wrote beautiful eulogies. With his flair for words and wit and warmth he constructed eloquent touching tributes. I used to kid him that he had to live forever because no one else could write them as well. And now I find myself in the agonizing position of trying to write his. First off, let me say, it won’t be as good.

So rather than tell you what you probably already know – that he was the Mozart of comedy writing and recipient of every honor but the Heisman Trophy – I’ll try to share some things you might not know; some personal stories.

In many ways the hardest part of writing scripts is turning them in. Because then you have to wait. And wait. And wait. It’s a stomach churning exercise filled with angst and insecurity and flashbacks of high school. After a day you’re an utter basket case. After a week you’re confessing to crimes you didn’t even commit.

When you turned in a script to Larry at 5:30 he called you at home to say he loved it… at 6:30. The first Rolaid hadn’t even dissolved in your stomach yet. Trust me, this is unheard of. But that was Larry. Empathetic, considerate, a mensch. He was the kindest man in an industry that seriously frowns on that sort of thing. Fortunately, he had the talent to overcome it.

And despite his enormous success, he was just as human as the rest of us mere boulevardrd farcitiers. He arranged for house seats for my wife and I to see the original production of SLY FOX. Jacqueline Kennedy was sitting next to me. When I called the next day to thank him and tell him who was sitting on my left, he got very nervous. “Did she like it? Did she laugh? Which jokes?” He was thrilled to learn she did laugh, and I’d like to think thrilled that my wife and I laughed too but probably more Jackie. After all, she paid for her seat.

I mentioned one day in a rewrite that my favorite MASH episode was “the More I See You” with Blythe Danner guesting as Hawkeye’s former flame. A few days later I received a gift. In those days Larry used to write his scripts longhand on legal pads. He gave me a Xeroxed copy of his original first draft. And the Mozart comparison continues. There were no cross-outs. Every line was perfectly constructed. Emotion and humor flowed from speech to speech with absolute ease. How does one do that? It’s impossible! That draft (now bound) remains one of my most cherished possessions.

And by the way, he could write an entire MASH script in one night. He was incredibly fast. Stanley Donan was going to direct a movie called BLAME IT ON RIO. He was not happy with the draft his writer had ,turned in and asked Larry if as a favor, he’d read it and offer his suggestions. Larry said sure (Larry always said sure). The script was delivered to him Friday at 5:30. No, he didn’t call back with his reaction at 6:30. He waited until Monday morning. But he said he had so many problems with it that instead of just scribbling down some notes he took the liberty of REWRITING the whole screenplay himself. Unbelievable. Even Mozart didn’t compose an opera over the weekend. Larry said use what you like. Donan used every word.

A similar story: For rewrites we would dictate to our assistant, Ruth, who was lightening quick. There was a big Radar speech. Larry started pitching and was just on fire. We were in stitches. Ruth broke in, telling him to slow down. Even she couldn’t write that fast. Larry said, “Just get half” and kept going. The half she didn’t get was better than anything else on television.

Larry always sent thank you notes. Larry always dropped you a line wishing you well on your upcoming project. Larry always returned phone calls. Larry always emailed you right back. Larry even left comments on my blog. I half expect a thank you note for this essay.

His legacy will last forever. His work was timeless, universal, steeped in humanity, and brilliant. MASH will always air eight times a night, TOOTSIE and OH GOD! will forever be on your screens (be they 64” plasmas or 2” iPods), FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM, and CITY OF ANGELS will be revived as long as there are stages.

Like any screenwriter, Larry had drawers and drawers of unproduced or unsold or unfinished projects. In June he just had a reading of a pilot he conceived. Last year he mounted a play in Chicago he was shepherding to Broadway. At the time of his death he was adapting one of his films into a musical and one of his musicals into a film. So yes, he left behind an amazing body of work but still we “just got half”.

Many people who knew him felt that Hawkeye Pierce was an idealized version of Larry. I’d like to think one of his other character creations was a more accurate representation of just who he was. God.

Enjoy the work of Larry Gelbart. You will laugh until you hurt. And for those of us who were blessed to have known him, we will hurt until we laugh.

15 comments :

Johnny Walker said...

Lovely tribute. You’re lucky to have had him as a mentor.

Greg Barnett said...

What a great tribute! I believe you painted a great picture of Mr. Gelbart.

Earl Boebert said...

Wonderful tribute. His "The Wrong Box" is the funniest movie nobody's seen.

Arlen Peters said...

Ken my friend, Larry would have been so proud of your tribute to him. You learned from the master ... and it shows!

Steve Bailey said...

Larry Gelbart has been one of my writing idols ever since Hawkeye started trading quips on "M*A*S*H." Yours is a most worthy tribute.

Michael said...

A beautiful tribute, indeed. Yet he could get upset. I read once how he complained that Zero Mostel ad-libbed just a bit too much in the road company of "Forum." Let's just say it involved the scene with the body snatcher, and it went where Larry didn't want to go.

Brian Phillips said...

I appreciate re-reading this post. For those who would like to hear a great radio show he helped write, listen to "Dick Tracy in B-Flat"

https://www.dicktracymuseum.com/dick-tracy-in-bflat

Jay Moriarty said...

Prior comment by...

Mike Bloodworth said...

I saw Larry on "The Dick Cavett Show" with some other comedy writers. I was amazed at his lightning quick mind. He could come up with a funny line faster than anyone. He's someone I wish I could have met. You are a very lucky man, Ken.

M.B.

Albert Giesbrecht said...

I used to chat with him on Usenet. It was always a delight, sometimes he would even reply to me!

Cedricstudio said...

Friday Question: Neil Simon Is constantly praised as a great playwright. I’ve never seen any of his work performed on stage but I’ve seen two movies based on his work. The Odd Couple (starring Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau) was enjoyable enough but did not blow me away. Last night I watched Murder By Death and was disappointed. The premise was promising (it’s a murder mystery spoof where five of the world’s most famous detectives—caricatures of Sam Spade, Hercules Poirot, Miss Marple, etc.—are locked in a castle and challenged to solve a murder. Then it is their host who winds up dead.) With an all-star cast and a Neil Simon script my hopes were high but I found it corny and ridiculous with most jokes falling flat. I’m not a writer so this might be sacrilege but I would take one of your MASH episodes over either of these films any day. Can you help me understand why Simon is so revered? What am I missing?

Kendall Rivers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bradley said...

Wow, the Emmy death reel left off so many of your collaborators or influences. Not acceptable! Why not include everyone? Makes no sense. David Schramm, Earl Pomerantz, Billy Goldenberg, Orson Bean, Lynn Cohen, Paula Kelly, Jerry Herman, Terrence McNally, Saul Turtletaub, and MANY others. So disrespectful. Especially since they had all the time in the world to honour those gone this year.

Matt in Westwood, CA said...

Friday Question....although very little news on it, last night marked the 50th anniversary of the premiere of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW. Ironically, the anniversary landed on a Saturday, the night it aired for its entire 7 year run. What struck me was what a huge missed opportunity this was on the part of CBS. With networks in continual decline and Saturday night considered a wasteland for viewership, would you agree it would have been easy and cheap for them to use the entire 3 hour block as a tribute/celebration? They could have aired the pilot, Chuckles, the last show and another memorable episode or two uncut, interspersed with interviews with many of the surviving cast and creators, not to mention prominent women who have repeatedly cited its influence (Oprah, Tina Fey, Katie Couric to name a few). Given the recent success of prime time reruns of colorized LUCY and DICK VAN DYKE, I would think with people stuck at home in these unprecedented times, they could have pulled off something special. Your thoughts?

Dave H said...

I messaged Mr.Gelbart with questions about Mash and other projects he did and he never failed to respond to me even if it was to tell me that he didn't remember the situation I was asking about. Sometimes the viewers remember little things the people involved might not remember. He was such a classy guy.