Sunday, April 16, 2006

Diane Farr is hot for Peter McNichol???

First off, thanks to everyone who contributed their votes for worst song over the weekend. They were deliciously frightening and more suggestions are welcome. And if I may just add one of my own – Dang Me by Roger Miller (Roses are red and violets are purple, sugar’s sweet and so is maple surple.) Now for today’s rant.

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I think it started in the early 70’s. Even though Mary Richards only had an entry level job at WJM she still had this amazing wardrobe and never wore the same designer outfit twice. How did she pull that off on her paltry salary? Rhoda made more money and wore the same two schmatahs.

It’s called creative license and TV has gone to that card liberally and frequently ever since. Not that I’m not guilty of it myself. Audiences are supposed to believe that all eleven years of MASH actually took place over a one year time span. It was an especially hard buy during the many Christmas episodes. (There was also an episode that took place over one year but that wasn’t on our watch.)

Here are some more recent examples:

The Las Vegas CSI department must have a budget of $37 billion. They have every piece of equipment imaginable (even high tech contraptions that haven’t been invented yet). You need to determine what brand of gum was found on a shoe at the murder scene? They have a machine that can tell you the brand, flavor, and how many bubbles were blown. I bet if you saw the real Vegas CSI department it would look like your Uncle Bob’s garage. And the detectives would have to spring for their own goggles.

On NUMB3RS the math geek can do the most elaborate math problems in half a day and not the six months it would really take a computer to solve. Recently he charted the path of every student in a high school and was able to determine which class they were to attend if they hadn’t been gunned down. Amazing! Then, when he briefs the FBI he has found the time to create a whole animated computer graphic presentation. And even all that I could let slide. But now they have hot FBI agent, Diane Farr seemingly attracted to uber nerd Peter McNichol. Come on math whizzes, the probability of that can not even be calculated.

The O.C. – everything about it.

PRISON BREAK – Michael hasn’t been violated by every prison mate and six of the guards. Not believable.

HOUSE – Has a patient ever been to that hospital without going into seizures? Has a patient ever been correctly diagnosed without having to take four expensive tests that proved to be unnecessary? Blue Cross must go into conniptions when they get a bill from that hospital. Malpractice lawyers should set up card tables in the lobby.

LOST – One of the friends or relatives of the survivors couldn’t Google Map that island? Mark Burnett hasn’t scouted it yet for SURVIVOR?

24 – the granddaddy of them all. See several previous posts. I’ll just add that Jack’s cellphone always gets great reception, and how bad are our country’s intelligence agencies when the bad guys all have armies and compounds and guards aplenty yet no one in Homeland Security has any inkling of these world domination plots? And how do the bad guys recruit all these guards and soldiers? Do they put ads in LA WEEKLY? “Help Wanted: Guards for plot to take over America. Must have experience in firearms and be discreet. Contact: Mr. X, 187 E. Secret Compound Dr., Simi Valley, Ca. 91537.”

And finally, the topper -- WEST WING depicts the President of the United States as an intelligent learned compassion man. Everyone knows that couldn’t be further from what really exists in real life.

28 comments:

Whaledawg said...

I, and all computer geeks, would like to submit our gripe about enhancing pictures on a computer. Apparently, on every movie and TV show, repeatedly hitting the enter key will zoom in on any area of a picture and then enhance it until it is clearer then the original. Anyone who has ever had to try and blow up a photo using gimp or photoshop throws the remote in anger at this point.

Grubber said...

You guys do write fantastic presidents. The American President with Michael Douglas(in rehab during his sex addiction so presumably interns were safe at that stage).

If you can vote either of those two Presidetns in, the world would be grateful. :)
cheers
Dave

Grubber said...

meant to say Michael Douglas was another good example.

Jan B said...

Grubber, Aaron Sorkin wrote both of those presidents (Jed Bartlet, and Andrew Shepherd). Great writer of course, words cannot describe how much I love 'Sports Night'.

As for The OC, mentioned in Ken's original post - its fun, and its knowing, and as a viewer you feel like you've enjoyed an hour of your life which is all you can ask for.

Grubber said...

Thanks for that Jan, I had never looked up the writer for the Andrew Shepherd president.

They always seem to be the leaders you wish you had, regardless of country. As Ken said, intelligent and compassionate. We can live in hope.

cheers
Dave

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Let's not forget about the television show Friends. On that show you don't have to have a steady job but you can live in an apartment bigger than the Real World pad.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

And of course 24, my favorite television show:

There's always a spy inside CTU.

Anonymous said...

On Sports Night I couldn't get over the unbelivability of how they talked. I can not beleive even pithy sports writers can talk so snappy, fast, and at the same time say nothing. It just infuriated me when I checked it out after everyone said how great it was.

(And yet I love Deadwood, probably posessor of the densest dialogue in US television history)

Paul Duca said...

This is a coincidence...only last night (in West Coast time right before you posted this, Ken)there was a particularly irksome instance of dramatic unbeliveability. I caught the premiere of that new show on ABC, "What About Brian". It's about a thirty-something singleton and his married/committed friends in the City of the Angels.
In one of the first scenes, Brian is battling the broken AM radio in the funky old car he drives, making him listen to ALL OUT OF LOVE by Air Supply. He uses this to his advantage to flirt with a woman stopped beside him at a red light.

Now...am I SUPPOSED to swallow the idea that in 2006, there is an AM radio station in the Los Angeles area playing U.S. pop music?
playing U.S. pop

Mary Stella said...

Someone please just give me the name of the mascara that television makeup artists use on actresses. Wars, crime scenes, fleeing for their lives from serial killers -- no matter what the activity, the mascara doesn't run. Clearly I'm using the wrong products.

Hollywood blond said...

I'm in a party of one, but does Jon Stewart get some of his act from Chevy Chase? It's like he does the same thing as Chevy who did it first and better. Playing to the moniter. But hey, he's hot, he's funny and he's some real nice eye candy.

Kelly J. Compeau said...

But now they have hot FBI agent, Diane Farr seemingly attracted to uber nerd Peter McNichol. Come on math whizzes, the probability of that can not even be calculated.


Yeah, that relationship's kinda creeping me out -- which I guess is a bit odd considering I was once in a relationship with a man who looks like the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons and has an IQ that's been tested at 30 points higher than Einstein. We remain the best of friends to this day.

Jan B said...

Anonymous, I feel that most of the beauty of Sports Night, and indeed other Sorkin work is that dialogue is "unrealistic". But it's beautiful, and rhythmic, and makes me gasp in awe...rather like old movies.

Del said...

Roger Miller is Wile E. Coyote, super-genius!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of unlimited clothing budgets, I always wondered how, on CHEERS, Sam could afford all those $70 Guess shirts and $400 Pelle Pelle jackets on his $6 an hour wage (as stated in one episode). Musta made damn good tips.

My most recent forehead-slapping TV moment was on CSI:LV when they tried to find the guy who pushed a woman in front of a moving bus. They took a photograph snapped by a tourist and blew it up and enhanced it so they could see what was behind the photographer reflected in the sunglasses of the person being photographed, and of course the enhanced section was just as sharp as anything. I'm no photographer, but I can't imagine even professional-grade cameras having resolution THAT good.

Thinking Fool said...

What about Deal or No Deal, a show which portrays Americans as nothing short of idiotic. Whoever writes those characters shoud- what? You mean those are NOT actors? Heavens to mergatroid, excuse me while I pretend to be bulimic for a second.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Hollywood Blond:

You just reminded me to check if indeed hell has freezed over.

Chevy Chase over Jon Stewart?

That's ok. I'm the only person in America that hates Crash.

Hollywood blond said...

I was off topic anyway, Tenspeed. Thanks for reeling it in. Jon Stewart is excellent, but isn't there just a smidgey of Chevy?

Mary Richards did indeed have the apartment of all apartments. Maybe there was a B story going on with Mr. Grant. The place on Friends was cute, but here's what a woman notices: those kids were dropping hundreds on tanning beds and skin peels. Nobody glows like that unless they're in diapers.

Thanks for sharing about Crash! (..shh)

ChrisO said...

Put me down as another one who found the dialogue on Sports Night hard to take. Sorkin toned it down a little on West Wing, but as much as I liked that show I still was put off by the rapid fire pithy nature of the dialogue. I think Sorkin has seen too many screwball comedies.

Mike said...

I never really thought that everybody on the West Wing spoke all that fast. Not any faster than most people do in high stakes, big pressure jobs. Seriously, most of the people I know talk like they do on West Wing.

Yes, they're wittier than most real people. That's ok, it's a TV show. If I wanted to watch TV about idiots in the White House I'd flip over to CNN.

Beatriz said...

And even all that I could let slide. But now they have hot FBI agent, Diane Farr seemingly attracted to uber nerd Peter McNichol. Come on math whizzes, the probability of that can not even be calculated.

Hey I had to comment on this, my mum is mathematisian (sorry I can't spelled that word) so is my dad, and I been sorrounded by them and physics whizz, andd dude ttrust me they can score higher than Kobe rebounds, girls like brains, plus there also that thing about noone being able to understand your work so you basiclly know about pretty much anything

Anonymous said...

Sports Night's first episode had their SportsCenter-type show lead off with coverage of a marathon. Reality.

Plague said...

No, Tenspeed.
You are NOT alone.

Anonymous said...

Plague and Tenspeed:
Don't forget, Annie Proulx joins you guys whole-heartedly!

Keith said...

The Dharma initiative pays Google to keep the island off their mapping software. See, that wasn't so hard.

as for 24... same as James Bond. Goldfinger has a solar powered death ray off the coast of China and Beijing A) doesn't know and B) hasn't bought a dozen just like it?

Anonymous said...

Those CSI shows drive me crazy. They're filled with bad science and bad police work- moving bodies before they've been photographed, spraying that Luminol all around in a room full of people without masks (that stuff is notoriously bad for you), seemingly accessing a national instant databank of fingerprints and DNA full of samples of everyone living or dead who has ever been in the US.

The worst is the way that they explain things to one another all of the time.

"Fingerprints, Mitch?"
"The grooves found at the tips of human fingers, Chip. They're as unique as snowflakes and leave behind traces of oil. Those traces can find us our killer."

I watch every week*, though. Can't help myself.

*No, not the David Caruso show, since I can't get past his decision to play his role as that of a cigar store Indian enough to invest myself in his idiotic character.

Anonymous said...

That must explain why Caruso's character NEVER looks anybody in the eye when he talks to them.

Jess said...

I totally LOVE Peter McNichol. I thought he was hot on Ally McBeal and even hotter now. How dare you disparage him lol. (if you didn't watch AM you won't get that reference.) Seriously, he's cute as kittens and huggable as all get out. I'm petite so I like short men. Short, smart, talented, HOT men. On AM he had one of the most beautiful actresses on earth as his love interest, so why not now. I am not related in any way to him, never even met the guy (I wish!) but I just had to defend both his cuteness and his hotness. Thank you.